Chapter 20: The Expedition

(Warning: things are going to get a little gross and gory)

Your POV:

I was barely paying attention to Erwin's speech, my adrenaline was going and I couldn't concentrate on anything.

I look around at all the determined faces around me, everyone looked ready for a fight and that's what we are going to get.

I see Eren looking around too and he locks his eyes on mine. He smiles at me and nods as I do the same. I hear Erwin shout '57th expedition', and before long we were off.

Making our way out of the confides of wall Rose from Karanes District to Shiganshina District. Supporting squads were already on their way to the sides of formation to help with any incoming titans.

The fear was gone from me, this is what I have been waiting for. I want to get my hands on as many titans as I can. I feel my heart pounding in my chest, my (e/c) eyes widen as I take in all my surroundings.

I see flares go up every once in awhile, and Erwin responding with his own to direct our positions. But it almost seems like things are going a little too smoothly. I haven't seen any titans yet. Something doesn't feel right, and I can't quite put my finger on it.

After a little while, we notice that there hasn't been any flares coming from the right flank, where we had noticed flares from them before. Odd, that's supposed to be where the titans are, right? We should definitely be seeing more flares from them.

My stomach sank when a thought crosses my mind, what if they are being overrun? I bite my lip as I consider that possibility.

We see a lone rider coming from that direction, it looks like he has blood on him. But it seems to be steaming and disappearing, so it has to be titan blood.

"Captain Levi! The frontal right flank is being wiped out, pass the message along!" The man shouted at Levi.

"Petra, go let Commander Erwin know." Levi says to Petra. She nodded and made her way over to where Erwin is in formation.

"I'll come with you." I tell the man before he turns his horse around to leave. "No." I hear Levi shout as I turn to follow the man.

"Sir, you told me I could be a runner if other squads need me. So I'm going." It wasn't up for discussion, whether he likes it or not, I'm going to help no matter what he says.

"(L/N)! GET BACK HERE NOW! (Y/N)!" I hear Levi yell after me, but there is nothing he can say. If there are still people left they may need medical help.

As I follow the scout I take a quick look at my saddle bags. I have some medical supplies, not a lot, but enough to get someone severely injured to a medical wagon. I hope I have enough to deal with a fair amount of people, but I may have to get creative.

We slow down when we get to an area with a bunch of steaming titan corpses, but the ground was littered by even more human bodies. Almost none of the bodies I see are intact, most missing arms or legs, some missing entire lower bodies, others missing their entire upper bodies.

I scan the area as best I can, but I see no survivors anywhere. "This way!" The scout I was following calls. I look in the direction he is pointing, there are a bunch of titans and some more scouts.

We gallop over to them, once we get closer I start standing up in my saddle, ready to deploy my anchors. The scout with me did the same, and we were off.

My anchors attach to the back of a 10m titan who has a scout in its grasp. I slice its nape and maneuver my way around to catch the female scout the Titan was holding. She was crying and her eyes were shut tight. She was taller than me of course, but I was able to hang onto her without straining. "Cadet! It's okay, I've got you!" I shout at her, and she finally opens her eyes.

She hugs me, "Thank you."

"No time for that, if you're able I need your help, let's go." I urge her to follow me as we make our way to the other titans.

There were about 15 cadets still alive when we got there. 8 of them were still able to fight and were zipping around with their ODM gear. The other 7 were sitting or lying down on the ground. Those were the ones who were injured or in shock.

There was about 12 titans left and the other cadets were really struggling. The titans ranged from 4m to 12m. I tried to help the best I could, despite my best efforts, I couldn't be everywhere. Only 5 cadets were left other than myself.

I walk around trying to find any other survivors among the bodies, but I wasn't having any luck. The scout I followed here still stuck with me, and the other 4 survivors had mounted back up on horses and rushed to other squads to warn them about what happened.

I don't have much for medical supplies anymore. I had to patch up some minor injuries in a hurry for a couple of them. I only have some bandages left and a little bit of the alcohol solution to help prevent infections.

I hop back on my horse, disappointed I couldn't save more people. "Hey," The cadet says to me, "Don't look like that, we did all we could."

"What's your name?" I ask him, I've seen him around base before, but I don't do a lot of mingling so I don't know a lot of their names. "Johnathon," He answered me, "And you're (y/n)."

I nod and turn to head back to my squad when I think I hear a faint voice. "Hang on." I mumble to Johnathon. I squeeze my horses sides with my heels for him to go a little faster. The closer I get to the sound I can hear, "Help!"

I came up to an old houses that seems to have collapsed during the battle with the titans. I go around the other side, and I can see a male cadet who's leg seems to be trapped under the ruins of the house.

"Johnathon!" I call to the other cadet who wasn't too far behind me, "I found someone!" He rushes over to me and gives me a wary look when he sees the man's trapped leg. "What are we going to do?" He asks, "We don't have enough supplies to help with this kind of injury."

I study the man trapped under the house. If I cut his leg off I don't have enough bandages to adequately stop major blood loss. I can't use clothing, that's just asking for a major infection.

I look around helplessly, think think think (y/n). Be resourceful, what can you use? I look up and see another 12m titan stumbling around the battle field; it hasnt appeared to have noticed us yet.

Seeing the titan, I think back to training with my squad. When we were doing experiments with Eren's titan form, I remember him growing just a titan arm when he went to reach for various objects. Most of the time the arm would form incompletely, leaving out layers of skin only leaving the muscle exposed. When Hange would examine the arm, sometimes she would touch it without thinking and screech in pain. Apparently, under the layer of skin, the exposed muscle burns very hot. Especially if it is a bigger titan.

When you kill regular titans, their corpses steam for varying amounts of time depending on their height, before they disappear.

Could the muscle be too hot for bacteria to thrive on it? Maybe there will be less of a chance for him to develop an infection if I used the titan to help stop the man from bleeding out.

"I have an idea," I whisper to Johnathon, "It may sound a little crazy, but hear me out." Johnathon turns to look at me, giving me his full attention, but also keeping an eye on the titan in the distance.

"The titan's bodies burn very hot after we kill them, hence all the steam coming off their bodies. But when my squad did experiments with Eren, the muscle underneath burns even hotter. If I lure that titan over here, cut off a limb or two, to expose the muscle, kill it and before it vaporizes, cut off the cadet's leg and cauterize his leg using the extreme heat the titan's body emits."

"Are you fucking insane, (y/n)?" He asked me furiously. "Probably, but that doesn't mean it can't work. But if you don't agree, offer me another solution." I answer him quietly.

I look down to see the reaction of the cadet trapped under the house. He looked terrified, but also determined. "What is your name, cadet?" I ask him. "Oliver." He answered me as I lower myself to be closer to his level.

"Oliver, do you want to live?" I want it to be his choice. Some of the cadets I tried to help were in so much pain and their injuries so severe, they asked me to just let them die. I would still try to reason with them, but they would fight me on it. It's Oliver's body, and I won't mutilate it against his wishes.

"What are the chances I'll survive?" Oliver asks me quietly. "Well, if we leave you here, you'll die. If we cut off your leg and try to use the limited supplies I have, you'll either bleed out or get a severe infection and die. If we go through with my plan, than you may live." I answer him honestly.

He looks up at me, tears building up in his eyes. "I want to see my family." I grab his hand and squeeze it gently, "I'm not going to lie, the pain will be unbearable, but hopefully, you'll pass out from the pain. I'm going to do my best to get you home, do you understand?"

Oliver nods and let's go of my hand, "Okay." He replied. ".... This is crazy." Is all Johnathon can seem to say.

I grab a stick from the ground beside me and hand it over to Oliver, "Bite down on this." He nods and puts it in his mouth.

I stand up and grab Johnathon's hands, "Do you want to cut his leg off, or do you want to lure the titan?" I ask him.

"I'll cut the leg." He answers shakily. I give him a nod, "Okay, but you have to do it either right before or immediately after I kill the titan. You have to be fast or the corpse will vaporize and Oliver will bleed out. Carry him over to the titan so we can cauterize his stump to stop the bleeding." Johnathon looks pale, but he nods and kneels down next to Oliver.

I hop on my horse and ride closer to the titan and whistle to get its attention. The titan immediately makes its way toward me, huge teeth grinning down at me, matted brown hair swaying from side to side as it approaches me.

I turn my horse and run back toward Johnathon and Oliver. I only have one shot at this, it has to be perfect, and maybe with a little bit of luck we can pull this off.

I stop my horse when we are several meters from where the two men are, and I deploy my anchors into the titan. I go for its legs first, doing a spin move, copying Levi's signature move to cut both its legs off.

"Now!" I yell to Johnathon as I make my way up to the titan's nape before it has a chance to regenerate its legs. I slice its nape and it stops struggling to grab me. I look up to see how close Johnathon is with Oliver, but to my dismay, Oliver is still attached to the leg stuck under the house.

I growl and quickly make my way over to him, there is no time for this, it has to happen now before the titan's body disappears. I wanted to yell and scream at Johnathon for wasting time, but, ironically, that would also be a waste of time.

I reach the men, raise my right blade and brought it down hard and fast, cutting through Oliver's leg. The stick in his mouth does little to dull his screams. "Let's go!" I yell at Johnathon, to shake him out of whatever daze he is in, and he helps me lift Oliver as we run over to the still steaming titan corpse.

When we reach it, we go directly to the exposed muscle and bone that is left where its legs used to be.

Without preparing Oliver before hand, we press his stump against the steaming hot surface and hold it there long enough to burn the vessels and stop him from bleeding out. I wanted to throw up at the smell of burning flesh along with the inhuman screams that came from Oliver.

We got there just in time, the titan started to disappear but the job was already done. Oliver has finally passed out thankfully, probably the best thing to happen to him all day.

I leave Oliver with Johnathon as I whistle for my horse and grab the few bandages I had left, along with the alcohol solution I had. Johnathon holds Oliver's stump up for me to wrap. All he had left was half of his thigh, everything below was gone.

I pour the solution over what remains of his leg, it's not pretty, but he has a good chance of survival if we can keep infections out. I clean the area as best I can and wrap it up as much as I can. At least he's not bleeding or screaming anymore.

"Can you hold him up while I get my horse?" Johnathon asks me nervously, not knowing if I could bear Oliver's weight, even for a short period. "Just go." I tell him as he leans Oliver on me. I grit my teeth as I try to keep him up right.

As Johnathon calls his horse, Oliver stirs and starts to come back into consciousness. "Oliver," I say quietly to him, "I know it's difficult, but I need your help to get you on Johnathon's horse, do you think you can do that?" He nods weakly and continues to moan in pain.

Johnathon rides over and slides back on the saddle to make room for Oliver in front of him. Oliver raises his hands to grab the saddle and onto Johnathon's outstretched hand. I push up on Oliver as he and Johnathon pull, and with a lot of effort he makes it shakily onto the saddle.

"Get him to Hange, she has the nearest medical wagon." I say to Johnathon as I get ready to whistle for my horse.

"Thank you for not leaving me there." I hear Oliver say, barely above a whisper. "Every life matters, Oliver. Now stay alive, you have family that is waiting for you." I smile up at him.

"(Y/n), I'm sorry, I froze... I'm so sorry," Johnathon stuttered to me, but I raise my hand to silence him, "It's okay, I understand."

I turn to look for my horse, but Johnathon speaks up again, "(y/n), thank you. All of us probably would have died if you hadn't have come." He says as he wraps his arms around Oliver to take hold of the reins.

"It's my job, now go, get out of here. There is no telling how many titans are still over here."

He nods at me and he and Oliver take off. I finally whistle for my horse and hop on, time to head back to my squad to be yelled at.

I only wish I could have saved more people. The ones who wanted to be left alone, I should have forced my help on them. But I also don't feel it's my place to go against their wishes. Most of them probably wanting me to not use my very limited medical supplies on someone who doesn't have a good chance of survival.

I can see flares go up every once in awhile, among them were quite a few black ones. Seems like an abnormal is causing some issues.

It took me awhile to try and figure out where my squad is. Our course seems to have changed quite a bit since I left my squad. But finally I see them and quickly made my way over to them.

"(Y/n)! You're back!" Eren greets me happily. I smile at him and take my place back in formation. "How were things over there?" Eld asked from behind me, "Bad," I answer grimly, "Only 6 people got out alive, for now anyway. Who knows what we'll run into next."

"You shouldn't have gone, (y/n). I told you not to." Levi mutters without looking back at me.

"Yeah, then those people would have died!" I growl at him, "I'm not going to apologize to you for doing my job, sir. You and I agreed in the field, if other squads need me I can go to help reduce casualties. And that's what I did. You don't get to just change your mind."

To my relief, Levi didn't argue further and we continued on. "What are we doing?" I ask as I notice we're approaching a forest of giant trees.

No one answers, but my other squad members look uneasy too. I stay silent as we make our way into the forest of giant trees. What is going on? This wasn't apart of the plan, was it? I mean I guess it's easier deploying ODM gear, but visibility isn't great.

I hear some arguing amongst my squad, but I'm not paying much attention. I feel goosebumps all over my body, and my senses are heightened. Something is coming, and it's making us all uneasy.

All of a sudden I hear thunderous footsteps behind us. I whip my head around to see a very odd looking titan. All titans I've seen resemble male bodies without sex organs, but this titan is clearly female.

As I stare in awe at the strange titan, I see other scouts flying around her trying to slow her down or stop her. But the titan seems to have no interest in any of them. She doesn't eat then or anything, just swats them away like flies.

Strange... Even for an abnormal, I feel like this kind of behaviour is unheard of. Wait... Could she be another titan shifter like Eren? That could make sense, I have no evidence to back the theory, but I feel I've read about something like this before... But I can't quite remember....

"Everyone, cover your ears!" I hear Levi shout out as he raises his flare gun. We do what he asks, and a piercing sound is released that makes me grit my teeth.

It's not long after that we hear a bunch of what sounded like gunshots. We whip our heads around to see the female titan with a bunch of harpoons shooting into her body, stopping her in her tracks.

I hear other members in my squad laugh with relief and scold Eren for not trusting them. I must have missed that conversation, I was too distracted by the bizarre titan to listen to any conversations going on around me.

"(Y/n), come with me." I hear Levi call to me as he takes off from his horse. I give him a weird look, but take off after him. He lands on one of the large trees close to the female titan, as Erwin gives the order to fire again.

"Any trouble?" Erwin asks Levi as we land next to him. "There were a lot of scouts that made it possible for us to lure the titan here, it's because of them that we were able to capture her."

Erwin nods and looks at me, "Are you okay, (y/n)? You look a little pale."

"Uh," I start, but I'm interrupted by Hange pulling me into a hug, "There she is!" She laughed as she twirled around with me.

"Let her go, shitty glasses." Levi snarls at her as she put me down, "Oh, was she telling you guys about the man she saved using a Titan corpse?" She asked excitedly

"What are you talking about?" Levi glared at her, "Don't praise her, she went off when I ordered her not to."

"What happened?" Erwin asked me, crossing his arms sternly. My mind was going crazy, I can't get the female titan out of my head, and other possible titan shifters. I can't seem to form a coherent answer, so Hange answered for me.

"One of the men (y/n) saved, Oliver, is in my wagon. Johnathon told me his leg was trapped under a fallen house, and (y/n) didn't have adequate amount of supplies to stop the bleeding after cutting off his leg. So she used a steaming hot Titan corpse to cauterize the stump! Brilliant!"

The 2 men looked at me with stunned faces, "I had to be resourceful," I mumble uncomfortably as they continue to stare at me, "Enough about that, I only did what I had to. You knew about the female titan before the expedition, didn't you?"

The three of them nod their heads at me, "Does it trigger any memories for you?" Hange asked me hopefully, but looked at me with concern.

"I don't know I-" I pause and clutch at my head as I sit myself down on the branch, "Attack, founding, female, colossal, armour... Why am I remembering these words? What does it mean? I can't remember." As I close my eyes I can see I'm in a library, but I don't know who's it is. There is a book open on the table, and I can see pictures of odd looking titans in it.

I see a man being held down on the table I was sitting at with the book. A guard is holding a knife above the man. I can hear the man scream my name, but I can't do anything, I'm frozen. I see the guard smirk at me as he has the man pinned down, and he brings the knife down and sliced off one of the man's hands.

"(Y/n)!" I hear Hange as she shakes me out of my daze. "Sorry," I mumble to her, "I thought I was remembering something..."

"Oh! What was it? Something to do with the female titan? Any other titans? Hmmm?" She asks, lowering her face closer to mine.

"Hange, let her be, don't push her." Erwin warns her.

"Come on, shitty glasses, let's get the bitch out of the Titan." Levi sighs as he pulls Hange off the tree and head to the trapped female titan.

"If she is from the scouts, would it not be better for her to just take Eren while we are still on base? Or did she have to wait for an expedition to transform into a titan in order to ensure his capture? Is she acting alone or does she have accomplices too?" I ponder out loud while watching Levi and the other scouts try to slice through the female titan, but having no success.

"It's possible," Erwin mumbles quietly, "There is still so much we don't know, only theories right now. Oh, and well done for saving those cadets."

"It wasn't that many," I sigh sadly, "If I had gotten there sooner I could have saved more lives. I should have headed over there when I saw how frequently they were setting off flares."

Erwin puts his hand on my shoulder, "But without you, I doubt any would have survived. That has to count for something."

I smile up at him, "Thanks Erwin."

All of a sudden there is a loud screeching noise. I cover my ears and look at the female titan, the sound seems to be coming from her.

The screeching ended and we all froze, what the hell was that about? Then we hear loud rumbling from all around us, it was more titans. They all ran straight to the female titan and started surrounding her.

I immediately jump off the tree and try to help my fellow scouts protect the female titan as best we can. But it becomes evident pretty quickly that there are just too many titans, and we have to abandon the mission.

Levi and I land back on the tree and wait for further instructions from Erwin. "Just who exactly are we dealing with?" He mumbles, more to himself than to us, "She would rather have herself cannibalized by titans than to let herself be exposed."

"Are we heading back now?" I ask Erwin. He looks at me with a worried look and nods, "Yes," I turn to jump off the tree and head in the direction of my squad, but Erwin stops me, "You're going to Hange's squad."

I turn back around to face him, "What? Why? I'm going to go meet up with my squad." I say defiantly.

"No, you're going with Hange. She may need help with wounded." Erwin argued, putting his foot down.

"But sir, I-"

"Do what you're told, brat. You have a direct order from your commander. Go." Levi interrupts me.

I know I can't argue with them, so I just glare at them and take off in the direction Hange went not long ago. What's their problem? The female titan is after Eren, my place should be with my squad, helping to defend him.

As I'm still making my way away from the men, I turn my head to make sure I'm out of their site. When I realize I am, I change my direction to the area I know my squad is in.

We're retreating all the way back to the wall, I'm sure Hange can handle any injured scouts herself. Now that I know the true meaning of this expedition, my priority is Eren.

I swing from tree to tree keeping my eyes peeled for my squad or anyone suspicious. Eventually I see my squad beginning to make their way out of the forest.

"(Y/n)!" Petra smiles with relief when she sees me pull up by them, "What happened? Why are we retreating?"

"The capture didn't really go as they planned," I explain to her, "The female titan was able to call other titans to her, and in the madness she was able to escape."

"Where's Captain Levi?" I hear Oluo ask me. "He should join us soon, I'm sure he took off not long after me."

I am a little worried about the lecture I will get when he finds out I disobeyed his and Erwin's orders. But whatever, I'll deal with it later.

"That must be him." I hear one of my squad mates shout as a flare gun goes off not too far from our location. So we fire a flare in response, letting him know what our position is.

We change course a little bit to meet up with Levi faster. But I have a sinking feeling in my gut, and everywhere else in my body is screaming for me to stop, that something is not right.

"Hey guys," I start, but I'm interrupted, "Gunter!" I hear someone shout as I stop and look towards Gunter.

He was dangling lifelessly by his ODM gear, blood dripping from his almost severed head. I stop dead in my tracks for a moment, then make my way over to a shocked Eren.

"It's not Levi, it's the female titan, GO!" I yell at my squad. I push Eren in front of me and get ready to defend him with the rest of my squad. We stare helplessly as the hooded person transforms back into the female titan, and starts charging at us full tilt.

"We aren't going to out run her, there's no way." Oluo says from behind me.

"Let me fight her," Eren shouts from in front of us, "I can take her."

"No Eren, we do not give you permission to transform!" Petra yelled back at him, "We can take her, I thought you said you trusted us!"

"I do." Eren says after a brief pause.

"(Y/n), go with Eren, protect him! Leave the female titan to us veterans!" Oluo says as he taps me on the shoulder, "Get him out of here."

"No! I can -", I started, but Oluo speaks over me, "Oh no! You don't get to take credit for this too! I'm going to defeat that bitch, and then you'll have to forgive me, right?" He laughs nervously.

He gives me a determined smile and slows down to join Eld and Petra, "Oluo!" I call after him, "I do forgive you!" He nods and gives me one final smile and joins in with the others.

"Come on, Eren!" I yell at him, "And don't look back!"

I keep my distance slightly behind Eren, looking back occasionally on the others and their progress with the female titan.

I smirk as I see they have her on the ground and back against a tree, nape exposed. Come on guys, you got this.

I look forward again, but after I turn my head I hear Petra and Oluo scream for Eld. I turn my head back around as the female titan spits out the upper half of Eld's body.

"Petra! Oluo! Go, get out of there!" I scream at them. Fighting her is hopeless, she's too powerful and far more advanced than Eren is with his titan form.

But it's no use, the female titan gets up and charges at Petra. I can't look, I can't watch them die. "Eren! Come on, go! Don't let their sacrifice mean nothing!"

My words can't reach him, he is far beyond listening to reason as he watches Petra and Oluo die. "Eren don't!" But it's too late, he's already bitting down on his hand and makes his way to meet with the Female titan.

I turn around and chase after him, trying over and over again to get his attention, but it's no use. He is in a blind rage and there is nothing I can say to get through to him.

I can't just stand and watch though, I need to help him somehow. It's even more dangerous to get involved when it's 2 intelligent titans going at it. I can easily be killed if I get caught in the middle. But I don't care, reason is out the window for me now too, and all I feel is anger.

As her hands are busy fighting Eren off, I try going for her nape. But she seems to notice me there, and covers it with one hand. With one less hand to contend with, Eren was able to throw a punch to her face, stunning her a little.

I decide to go for her legs, maybe I can slow her down and make her a little more vulnerable to Eren.

The female titan is getting pummelled by Eren. I smirk at her as I zip closer to her legs. But as I got closer to her again, I saw her eyes were on me and not on Eren. Before I could stop she grabbed me with the hand that was covering her nape.

I can feel my ribs breaking as she squeezes the life out of me. Instead of squishing me to death, she threw me against a tree farther away from where they were fighting. Once she got rid of me, her full attention is back on Eren again.

My back hits the tree hard and I start falling down down down, hitting branches on my way which helped to slow my decent. Then nothing only darkness and silence.