Heart & Soul

"Changmin-ah… Changmin-ah…" Min-jun moaned, his voice trembling as he tossed and turned restlessly on the creased bed, his limbs tangled in the sheets like a prisoner in his own longing.

Chang-min glanced up from his exam paper, his sharp eyes narrowing as he took in Min-jun's melodramatic display. Min-jun's back arched off the mattress, his face buried in the pillow, muffled whimpers laden with unspoken ache. With a flicker of annoyance, Chang-min aimed the stress ball he was holding, the soft projectile landing squarely on Min-jun's backside with a muted thud.

"Ouch…" Min-jun sat upright with a jolt, rubbing his rear as he pouted like a scolded child.

"Stop fooling around and finish the paper," Chang-min snapped the sternness in his voice barely concealing his underlying concern.

Min-jun turned to him with wide, imploring eyes, his lower lip jutting out in protest. "But I miss him so much."

"Like I said, you should have asked him for his phone number," Chang-min retorted without looking up.

"And like I emphasized, I would have pestered Joon-ah to death," Min-jun replied, his voice trailing off.

"True. You almost did that to me. But you'd be the one dead if you kept at it." Chang-min muttered, his pen scratching against the paper as he marked his answers with mechanical precision.

Min-jun watched him silently for a few heartbeats before his gaze fell to the small fox keychain in his palm, the tiny trinket almost glowing in the dim light of the room. How would I learn to let you go? he thought, his chest tightening with the weight of longing.

The final study week loomed over them like an insurmountable storm, each hour stretching unbearably for Min-jun. The oppressive silence of his home, paired with the ceaseless ache in his heart, had felt unbearable until Chang-min arrived, his presence an anchor in the tempest. Yet, even as the hours slipped by in diligent study, Min-jun's mind rebelled, flitting back to Seung-joon's gentle smile. With every thought, his yearning deepened, drawing him further away from the words on the pages in front of him. He wanted so desperately to know Seung-joon better—to understand him, to ask questions that would take a lifetime to answer.

The twins' vigilant care over Seung-joon was a strange comfort, but their protectiveness also sent tendrils of unease spiraling through Min-jun's thoughts. Their anxious reactions to any mention of Seung-joon left Min-jun haunted by a nagging sense of foreboding. What was it about him that demanded such fierce protection?

Joon-ah, why are you such a mystery…

With a heavy sigh, Min-jun forced his attention back to his paper, trying to drown out the growing knot of emotions in his chest. He felt the weight of Chang-min's wary glances, the unspoken concern hanging thick in the air between them. Though it often grated on his nerves, Min-jun found a strange comfort in Chang-min's steadfast presence, the knowledge that, no matter what, his stepbrother was always there for him.

His mind wandered to the day their parents were married thirteen years ago, a memory etched with bittersweet clarity. That day had been a dream come true for Min-jun, who had always wished for an older brother. At only five, Chang-min exuded a maturity far beyond his years, his serious demeanor starkly contrasting Min-jun's exuberance. Min-jun had followed him around like an eager puppy, his eyes wide with admiration. Yet, Chang-min had barely acknowledged him, sparing only a reserved glance now and then.

But curiosity had turned to fear when Min-jun saw Chang-min wandering toward the cliff's edge, the jagged rocks below roaring with the relentless crash of waves. The moment Chang-min leapt, Min-jun's world froze, only for his instincts to take over. His fingers closed around Chang-min's arm in a desperate grip, his voice raw with terror.

"Hyung… No… No… Please climb back. Please… Please… Hyung…" Min-jun's cries tore through the air as he clung to Chang-min with every ounce of strength he had, oblivious to the sting of the sharp rocks digging into his skin. Blood smeared their arms, but Min-jun didn't care. All he knew was that he couldn't let go. When the adults arrived to pull them to safety, Min-jun collapsed into Chang-min's embrace, trembling until exhaustion claimed him. In those last moments before darkness overtook him, he felt Chang-min holding him tightly, a silent promise never to let go.

From that day onward, Chang-min had loved Min-jun with the fierce protectiveness of an older brother, though he stubbornly insisted on being called by his name. Their bond, forged in that moment of peril, had only strengthened over the years, surviving even the distance when Chang-min moved out at fifteen. To Min-jun, Chang-min was more than a brother—he was his heart, just as Seung-joon was his soul.

Min-jun's reverie ended abruptly when something soft struck his forehead. He looked up to see Chang-min's amused expression, rubbing the tender spot as he glared half-heartedly.

"Why does it always hurt to be around you?" Min-jun quipped with a teasing grin, only to yelp as Chang-min lunged at him, tackling him to the floor with an impish smile.

"Do you even know what real pain is… let me show you," Chang-min declared, his fingers digging into Min-jun's sides as he unleashed a relentless tickle attack.

"Hyung, please stop… Stop… I… I can't…" Min-jun's laughter rang out, a mix of gasps and groans as he squirmed helplessly under Chang-min's playful assault. For a moment, the weight of his longing lifted, replaced by the warmth of the bond they shared.

***

Lately, Min-jun had been feeling increasingly anxious, as though each dragging day stretched into eternity. It had been two weeks since he had last seen Seung-joon, and the weight of that absence gnawed at him relentlessly, like an ache that wouldn't subside. With graduation looming on the horizon, the strain in his chest felt heavier, more suffocating. He had resolved not to confess his feelings, yet now Min-jun realized how much effort it would take to keep that fragile promise. The urge to tell Seung-joon the truth, to bare his heart, grew louder and more insistent with every fleeting moment.

On graduation day, Min-jun expected little—just a fleeting glimpse of Seung-joon, perhaps a silent, unspoken goodbye. Yet, as the hours crawled by, Seung-joon remained conspicuously absent. Panic bubbled beneath Min-jun's carefully maintained calm, clawing at the edges of his resolve. Desperation surged, and in a blur of frantic motion, he rushed home as soon as the graduation ceremony ended, hurriedly changed, and jumped into a taxi bound for D*. His plan was simple: wait by the alley near Seung-joon's house until he returned from his afternoon class. Standing there, the dimly lit street felt suffocatingly quiet, its stillness almost foreboding. The fading afternoon light stretched shadows into grotesque shapes across the barren road. Every flicker, every distant sound seemed amplified in the silence. Then, just as Min-jun's patience thinned, a movement caught his eye—a man lingering at the far corner, attempting to blend into the background. His intent, however, was unmistakable—he was watching, waiting, just like Min-jun.

Min-jun's breath hitched as his heart skipped a beat at the sight of Seung-joon walking down the road. For a moment, everything else melted away; Seung-joon's familiar silhouette commanded all his attention. But as Seung-joon passed the stranger, dread churned in Min-jun's stomach. The man's movements were deliberate, his steps shadowing Seung-joon, his caution betraying his intent. Min-jun's chest tightened painfully. From across the distance, he saw Seung-joon's expression change—recognition giving way to fear. The streets were lit unevenly, patches of ominous darkness breaking the illusion of safety. Acting on instinct, Min-jun sprinted into one of the shadowy alleys, positioning himself strategically to intercept Seung-joon. As Seung-joon neared, Min-jun reached out, pulling him swiftly into his arms. His hand muffled Seung-joon's gasp before he could cry out.

"Joon-ah… it's me," Min-jun whispered, his voice trembling but soft. Seung-joon's wide, panic-stricken eyes locked onto Min-jun's, confusion giving way to recognition a heartbeat later. With a broken sob, Seung-joon buried his face in Min-jun's chest, his body shaking violently. Min-jun enveloped him protectively, his own pulse racing. From their hiding spot behind a dumpster, Min-jun tracked the man's path, his gaze fixed on the figure scanning the street with frustration. The stranger eventually moved on, his steps fading into the night. Min-jun tightened his embrace, and without realizing it, he pressed gentle kisses onto Seung-joon's head, a desperate attempt to soothe him. Only when the street fell silent did he pull back slightly, his eyes searching Seung-joon's face.

"Joon-ah, can you walk?" Min-jun asked, his voice a hushed plea.

"Yes, hyung…"

They moved quickly but silently, Min-jun's firm grip steadying Seung-joon's trembling steps. Seung-joon leaned heavily into him, his unsteady gait betraying the depth of his fear. When they reached the steep staircase to Seung-joon's home, Min-jun paused, glancing at him with concern.

"I'll wait here. Go."

But Seung-joon's legs buckled under him, trembling too much to climb. Without hesitation, Min-jun scooped him into his arms, carrying him as though he weighed nothing. Seung-joon clung tightly to him, his head resting against Min-jun's shoulder, warm tears soaking into his shirt. Min-jun's throat burned with unshed tears of his own, but he pressed forward, his sole focus on getting Seung-joon to safety. At the doorstep, Min-jun gently set him down, ringing the bell while keeping an arm firmly around his waist. Tae-min answered, his scrutinizing gaze flickering between them before silently ushering Seung-joon inside. The door shut with a resonant thud, leaving Min-jun standing alone under the porch light.

Min-jun turned slowly, descending the stairs with leaden steps. His body felt drained, his movements robotic, as if the adrenaline coursing through him had been replaced by an unbearable weight. Halfway down, his legs gave out, and he sank onto the steps, his trembling hands fumbling for his phone. With a shaky breath, he dialed Chang-min's number.

"Ya. Where the hell are you?" Chang-min's sharp voice snapped through the receiver.

"Hyung… I'm just outside Seung-joon's house," Min-jun murmured weakly before the world around him dissolved into oblivion.

***

Min-jun woke up in a haze, the world around him blurry and unfocused, as if it were cloaked in fog. The sight of Chang-min, his face pale and etched with worry, swam into view.

"Hyung, why the long face?" Min-jun murmured, his voice weak but laced with an attempt at humor as he managed a faint, weary smile.

Chang-min's face darkened with a storm of anger, his cheeks flushing as he struggled to contain the torrent of emotions threatening to spill over.

"Fool, you almost gave me a heart attack. I was sure those guys had beaten you to a pulp."

A pang of sharp, unwelcome pain seared through Min-jun as Seung-joon's face flickered unbidden in his mind like a ghostly shadow.

"Hyung, I need to see Seung-joon," Min-jun said, his voice desperate as he tried to push himself up from the bed. A sharp pain shot through his skull, his hand flying instinctively to his temple. His fingers brushed against the coarse bandage wrapped tightly around his head.

"You must have fallen on the stairs and hit your head. I found you at the bottom, completely out of it. You're in the hospital now, and you're not going anywhere," Chang-min said, his voice edged with a mix of sternness and worry.

"Hyung, please, I have to go," Min-jun begged, his body trembling like a fragile leaf as he tried to stand.

"You're still on pain meds," Chang-min said softly, his voice betraying a faint tremor despite his firm exterior.

"Hyung, take me to him."

With a resigned sigh, Chang-min relented, helping Min-jun change. By the time they arrived at D*, the night had fallen like a velvet curtain, the streets bathed in the dim, amber glow of flickering streetlights. Chang-min handed his phone to Min-jun, showing him a number on the screen.

"Call him."

Min-jun took the phone, his hand trembling as he dialed the number. He dialed the number, each ring echoing in his ears like a drumbeat, his breath shallow and uneven.

"Hello."

Seung-joon's voice, soft and achingly familiar, washed over Min-jun like a balm, soothing yet stirring the ache in his chest.

"Joon-ah, it's me. Can you come down? I'm near your house."

"Okay, hyung."

As Min-jun made his way down the narrow, dimly lit alley leading to Seung-joon's home, his steps faltered slightly on the uneven pavement slick with rain. He spotted Seung-joon leaning against the weathered wall, absently dragging the slipper through the dirt-streaked ground, head bowed. The clouds overhead hung low and oppressive, and a light drizzle began to fall, dappling the air with a cold mist.

Min-jun approached, his heart thundering in his chest, and lifted a trembling hand to the wall above Seung-joon's head, shielding him from the soft rain. Slowly, Seung-joon looked up, his deep blue eyes catching the dim light of the nearby streetlamp, glistening like sapphires. Tiny droplets clung to his lips, making them glisten faintly in the muted glow.

Min-jun's pulse quickened, his breath hitching as he mustered every ounce of courage, his voice a trembling whisper as he closed his eyes and said,

"Joon-ah... let me kiss you... just once…"

For a moment, he was terrified to open his eyes, fearing the rejection or disgust he might see in Seung-joon's face. But when he finally dared to, he felt Seung-joon's soft, damp lips press gently against his own. It lasted only a heartbeat, but for Min-jun, it felt like an eternity suspended in time.