Flashback XII

After Sheldon and Penny picked up Charlotte from Michael and Valerie's after a short visit with them, Sheldon checked in the rearview mirror to see if Charlotte was asleep before he asked a particular question that had been running through his mind all day; at the rate Charlotte was developing there was a very good chance if she was awake she'd ask follow-up questions that he was sure neither he nor Penny were ready to answer.

"Penny, do you think Howard and the others took our bet of soup to be literal? That's what it sounded like to me."

Penny snickered before answering, "Honey, I would rather them think I'm cooking you a bowl of soup than what you intend to do with my 'soup' tattoo."

Sheldon chuckles lowly, so as to not wake their daughter, "I suppose. It still amuses me why you purposefully chose that tattoo and in that location in the first place. Does your mother know that it's her Beef Noodle Soup—which is of German origin by the way—that you love so much that you credit for your… shall we say, delectable rear so much that you got a tattoo of it?"

Penny laughs, keeping her volume to a minimum as well, "God, no. She'd be mortified."

"Is that why you got the tattoo in Mandarin for plausible deniability, since the German word for 'soup' is 'suppe'?"

"Kinda, and because the tattoo artist said she'd give me $5 off if she could do a Chinese character instead of a Latin-based word," Penny shrugged.

"I suppose it was lucky for you she knew the Mandarin character for 'soup'," Sheldon chuckled, "Although to be fair, I really do enjoy 'eating your soup', Penny."

"You are such a soup kisser, honey," she joked.

"Well, your butt is very delectable, sweetheart. I wasn't lying when I told Howard it was the best damn bowl of soup I ever had—er… well, kissed anyway."

She giggled, "Later Lieutenant, you can have all of me and my soup." "I look forward to it."

"I can't believe you're leaving again after Thanksgiving," Penny said after they drove for another mile.

"Penny, we've been over this," Sheldon said sternly.

"I know, I know. But what am I gonna tell Charlotte when she inevitably asks where's daddy? And over Christmas? What if she pulls a you, and tries to ask Santa to bring you home?"

Sheldon sighed, Penny was right. "We don't lie. But also given that she's two we can't exactly tell her my job since she won't understand—I'm actually at a loss as to what we should say."

Penny snorts, "There's a first. You told me about your shoulder but conveniently left out that part where you almost died months before we got married—I mean I had to find out from the freaking president of the United States—but now you can't figure out how to tell your daughter you're

going to be away for Christmas and possibly months after that."

"Penny, are you talking about Charlotte or is this your want for me to stay home?"

She blushed, "Little of both," Penny admitted, "I know it's your job and I know it's important to you but, this will be your second deployment since Charlotte was born."

Sheldon chuckled mirthlessly, "Wanna know a secret?" "Am I gonna like it?"

"Depends really. Val's pregnancy provided Michael and me the perfect excuse to withdraw from the frontlines for about a year and a half. Typically, Marines are rotated out seven months at a time; Val's pregnancy allowed us to commit to staying state-side to certify for MARSOC and receive our new commissions. Had it not happened, you would have hated the fact that I would just now be coming back from my third or possibly fourth deployment with expeditionary forces. At least with MARSOC my missions are specialised and once they're complete unless there are outstanding circumstances—which in the military during a war you cannot discount—I can come back quicker."

Penny sat there taking in Sheldon's confession for leaving her for a year and a half to earn a commission and joining Marine special forces, "You're gonna sit there and tell me that you chose special forces because you can now come home quicker, when—and I've said this before—with that amazing brain of yours you can get a safer job, closer to home without risking your life day in and day out."

"Penny, I would," Sheldon sighed, "Really, I would, but I cannot in good conscience leave my brothers-in-arms in harm's way when I know I can do something about it. If I didn't know them, maybe that'd be easier to do, but I do and they know me. We have been through hell and back and have forged a bond that only those who have willingly put their lives in the hands of another on a daily basis and survived to understand. I will not be a fair-weathered friend or ally, I will be there for them until the job is done, because in this world, unconditional trust is so scarcely earned that like childhood memories once it's gone it is near impossible to get again, no matter how hard you try."

Penny has to smile, she knows that Sheldon hasn't always been so open nor has he had so many friends and colleagues—he told her as much during one of their early phone conversations. Telling her succinctly that he had one friend throughout high school and as far as he knew the rest tolerated him—including the faculty and staff—mainly because they needed his GPA to qualify for grants and other forms of state and federal assistance. He was as he described a "lone wolf in a pack of idiots" who wanted to take advantage of his high IQ and aptitude for education and books for their own benefit. That made him bitter toward the outside world. It wasn't until his dad's death and his subsequent decision to join the Marines that he realised what kind of person he was; ultimately selfless. He told her that until he joined the military, he thought of himself as the most important, the most crucial element to mankind's existence, because few if any in his environment growing up ever made it out but he did—he thought that to be an achievement—and the first step to solving the world's greatest existential questions. But by joining the Marine Corps, meeting Michael and the rest, going through Basic Training, and going to war; he understood that he was just a small cog in the big machine. It didn't matter if he was the one that ended the war so long as he was there when and where they needed him. He found fulfilment in that until he met her. He understood that life ultimately isn't about titles, status, and having the best of everything, it was about creating and cherishing relationships—the more you have the richer you feel. Everything else is secondary but, nothing comes free, so sacrifices will have to be made; his is willing to pay the ultimate price to

protect who and what he holds dear. "Have I told you lately that I love you?" "Where is this coming from all of a sudden?"

"Just…," Penny pauses to find the right words, "It just amazes me how a boy who even as late as 17 was afraid of dirt and germs became a man who will charge into God knows where at a moment's notice without fear and ready for battle. How a boy who apparently spoke like a robot eventually grew out of it to become a man who once told his best friend, if he earned another Purple Heart he'd kick his ass," Penny giggled, then continued, "And who went from never having a serious girlfriend ever to getting me to marry him after just a year of dating. It's astonishing.

You're like as Shrek describes, an onion with many different layers," Penny giggles as she finishes. "Very funny, Penny," Sheldon said dryly.

"But in all seriousness, honey, back to the topic at hand what are we gonna tell Charlotte?" "Like I said, the truth, just not all of it. Not until she's a little older," Sheldon sighs.

Penny blows out an exasperated breath, flipping a few bangs, "Okay… but 'what' is my question. Give me a script, brainiac. I'm gonna be the one telling our daughter her daddy is miles away."

"Oh… that," Sheldon realises Penny's dilemma, "Let me sleep on that, would you?"

Penny agrees then looks back to check on Charlotte still sound asleep, she smiles. "Either she and Alex tired themselves out today or Val put something in the baby food, I wouldn't rule out either," she chuckles.

"Or…," Sheldon says slowly, "the gentle bounce of the suspension is lulling and keeping her asleep; if you remember we drove around Los Angeles quite a few times when she was teething."

Penny rolls her eyes, "Thank you, Lieutenant Exposition," she says sarcastically.

"Watch it, Penny," Sheldon warned with a playful tilt, "Don't make me use Corporal Punishment." Penny blushes.

"Appeal denied."

Leonard's heart sank; his months-long appeal for a new trial was because of what he and his now public defender said was an improper trial initially, citing his guilty plea which should have ended in a bench trial not a trial by jury. But the Appeals Court denied him saying that although he entered a guilty plea, the judge before the trial started allowed both sides to convene to work out a settlement, the only settlement reached was to allow the trial to continue and in order to do so the judge rejected his guilty plea as recorded and then proceeded as the law stipulated, therefore, no improper steps occurred.

On the ride back to the prison, he ruminated about his life for the last few months and how far he had fallen. In the first month of his incarceration, he agreed to have his property auctioned to pay his massive fine. He had spent all of his savings on paying the court fees and his original lawyer. He wasn't surprised that the government found a buyer for his massive comic book collection and many sci-fi collectibles; he was surprised by the price his collection sold for. An incredible

$658,000, which left just about a million dollars he had to pay back—but that still was a million dollars he didn't have, even if he sold everything else he had. He wanted to blame somebody for not just the last few months but all of it, ultimately he had nobody to blame but himself.

Two months after he arrived at Victorville, his mother sent him two things: a copy of a dissertation by a Melissa Cooper and a book written by her too, entitled Practical Development: How Exceptional Children Should See the World. He was floored when he saw the back of the book jacket and saw that it was the pretty brunette he met when he went over to invite Sheldon to paintball, he didn't know that she was also a doctor and a psychologist. He was kicking himself now because in hindsight if he wasn't so quick to dismiss the invite by Penny's mom that day, he could have started something with the brunette that took his breath away. Smart, beautiful, and a Southern girl which in his mind was highly preferable because they were the kind who preferred to have kids and build a loving home, rather than pursue a career.

He spent his free time—he had a lot of it now—reading. He was somewhat glad his cellmate, Alvin "Bulldog" Morales—who hates it when you call him Alvin—is fairly quiet; then again excessive noise is punishable by the wardens taking away pillows, blankets and/or the beds altogether for a determined amount of time; this causes even the slightest noise to echo in the cell which is psychological torture over an extended period of time. He read the dissertation first because his mother's accompanying letter said, "Leonard, words cannot describe my utter disappointment of your life choices that have led you to the situation you are currently in. While life is difficult for everyone, you were given every possible opportunity to succeed and instead of taking those opportunities by the horns you merely coasted and hoped things would get better. I want you to read this enclosed dissertation by a highly respected colleague in the field of child psychology and gain some perspective—however late."

It was a long dissertation, he noted—146 pages, not including the bibliography—it was 53 pages longer than his own about black holes. He finished the dissertation in a few hours and once he did he couldn't help but compare his upbringing with that of Sheldon Cooper—the main topic of his sister's dissertation. By all metrics, he had all the advantages while Sheldon had next to nothing. He should be a success and Sheldon should be the one in prison. His parents were both academics, he grew up in the affluent suburb of Millburn, attended private school from middle school onward, he graduated as class Valedictorian, and attended an Ivy League university. He graduated magna cum laude from Princeton with a Bachelor of Science, then a doctorate in Physics. He was then hired by a top research university with a starting salary of $79,000, 17 percent more than the national average. He should be on track for tenure, not on track for a parole hearing. Opposingly, Sheldon's parents were a church worker and a high school football coach, he grew up in a town in Galveston that Leonard had never heard of, went to public school—albeit when he was a kid— attended Rice University, which isn't a bad school but is nowhere in Princeton's sphere. And while this is where their points of divergence took off in opposite directions, with Sheldon completing both a Master's and a doctorate in Germany before he even graduated high school and then joining the military, it still on paper favoured him. He still had a two-parent household, Sheldon was down to a single mother and a grandmother. The Sheldon Cooper his sister described as a kid was someone Leonard would've befriended or at least looked out for, but the man that moved in next door to him was so far from that kid that Leonard had a hard time imagining why someone would go through such torment to change. Then again, given where he was if he was given a second chance he would do it right this time. He knew that Melissa was writing about hypothetical gifted children, but if he didn't know better he could have sworn she was describing him.

The one part that stuck with him was where Melissa wrote:

I always thought my brother had everything figured out, after all this is the boy who at nine years old knew how to tie a bow tie properly and do Euclidian geometry. But our father's sudden passing affected my brother's psyche and emotional development more than he let on. At the funeral, my brother, barely 14 eschewed his usual jovial bolstering and spouting of random science factoids for a sombre black and white suit and a look of indifference throughout the funeral. When he stood over the foot of our

father's open grave after the casket was lowered, I could have sworn I saw my agnostic, science-driven brother silently recite a prayer and do the sign of the cross before tossing in his lone rose. Ten days later, we "celebrated" his 14th birthday with just a cake—no party—the next day he went back to Germany to finish his studies and declined every request to come home for the summer and other in-year breaks. I am now convinced he couldn't stomach not seeing our dad not at the head of the table, but he had a pretty good excuse. When he finally came back, the entire family was shocked by his transformation. Gone was the skinny beanpole that I knew growing up, here was a young man that had a look of untamed determination in his eyes. We were even more surprised where that determination was headed—as a child, my brother often talked about winning the Nobel Prize, and now he was preparing to quit science altogether and join the military. When we tried to talk him out of it, he shot down all of our arguments with the same pinpoint scientific methodology I recognised. My

brother was a changed man but when push comes to shove he will resort to science as a foolproof basis of persuasion. It is my view that as much change, as my brother and by extension, all adolescents go through certain childhood traits will seep through, however, my argument is not for every child but for gifted children. Gifted children need a purpose—an end goal—a so-called carrot to chase, for without it they become complacent and lose any and all motivation, that is because gifted children have additional pressures and additional stresses that cause them to act superior because they know themselves to possess traits the rest of us envy. My brother found his when he joined the Marine Corps, which in turn made me realise it was time to stop fooling around and finally be an adult. I am in many ways indebted to my brother, he could've easily taken the easy way out, shut himself off from humanity and pursue science like the eccentric genius that he was, instead he addressed his biggest weaknesses and became one of the most endearing human beings I have ever known. This I believe is due to our father's untimely death and whatever was said to my brother at my father's bedside. Purpose and motivation are key to proper development in all of us, but I believe crucial for gifted children. A mind is a terrible thing to waste, my brother told me once, it is doubly true I believe for gifted children because while the majority of us may lack innate high intelligence, average humans are naturally empathetic and social

—we will develop our intellectual niché to balance our empathy and sociability— gifted children are forced to focus too much on their intellectual gifts and so their other areas are underdeveloped. It is as much the responsibility of the parent, teacher, and caregiver to notice these shortcomings, but the child must recognise them as well. If they do not, proper development is incomplete. Just because the child receives award after award does not make them superior; getting into the most prestigious schools doesn't necessarily equate to a rosy future; being a success is relative if the child doesn't recognise his or her own faults. If they believe themselves to be intellectually superior, I challenge them to compare themselves against my brother who has a recorded 187 IQ, proven instance of an eidetic memory, and received a doctorate in Natural Science before he was even allowed to vote; then traded all of that in for a life in the Marine Corps, wherein the boy who I clearly remember hating getting dirty and despised guns has become one of the finest and most-decorated Marine Corps Sergeants this country has ever seen.

But Leonard knew his shortcomings; he was short, near-sighted, and pudgy because he hated exercise and was asthmatic, and lactose intolerant. But these physical shortcomings had nothing to do with his lack of a social life or professional development, so he had to conclude that it was him that people didn't like but the question was why; what did he ever do to make people so wary of him, including his own mother? Why did he have to work harder for things like love and affection when others were given them? He has no real meaningful relationship with his family—even his

father who was the most easy-going one in the family was largely ambivalent toward him growing up—prior to Joyce Kim no girl ever looked his way; even though he looked their way plenty of times. Leslie Winkle was a physical-only relationship and if he was honest he felt emasculated while with her because she called the shots in the bedroom but he went along with it because he wanted to keep having sex—she was the closest thing he had to anything remotely resembling a girlfriend. He had friends in Howard and Raj but he knew his relationship with them was tenuous at best. They bonded over comics and sci-fi while working on the rocket fuel project but other than that they had little else. They only hung out with him on the weekends or when there were special occasions—new Marvel movie releases, department functions; things like that. He felt like they were electrons with no nucleus holding them together, just orbiting each other and occasionally hanging out when their paths crossed. He didn't know what was missing, but he supposes that's all moot considering he was now in federal prison. He has spent his whole life trying to get people to like him for him, but whatever he does even at present, he genuinely has no answer to his own questions again given his current situation, maybe it was staring him right in the face and he was just too ignorant to notice.

"So Sheldon any plans for Halloween?" Howard asked, visiting 4A with Bernadette so his girlfriend could spend some time with Penny and little Charlotte.

"The military families association down at the base are organising a neighbourhood-wide trick-or- treat and Penny and I are thinking about taking Charlotte. That is if Penny can ever decide on a costume," Sheldon chuckles.

"Why can't Penny make up her mind, she has great fashion sense or so Bernadette tells me."

"It isn't that she can't it's that she's trying to one-up herself with family costumes. Last year, Penny and I went as Olive Oil and Popeye respectively and Charlotte was a can of spinach," Sheldon takes out his phone and shows Howard the photo from last Halloween that Michael took of them. "I think she is torn between Pokémon and a pun. Honestly, I couldn't give a damn either way, but it makes her happy."

Howard chuckles, "I hear that's the secret to a good life."

"You heard correctly. It's simple mathematics really, a happy wife equals happy life, and everything else is just ensuring her happiness. If there was a formula for it," Sheldon stands, walks over to his desk, grabs the legal pad off of the desk and returns to the couch, and scribbles, "It'd probably be: HW=HP, solve for HW. I think it is harder to solve than P=NP, to be honest."

Howard laughed. He was wrong about Sheldon being scary, actually, despite only being invited to 4A a few times since little Charlotte's birthday, Howard can unequivocally say that he feels a sort of natural kinship with the man. They have fairly similar background stories; raised by a single mother after losing a father figure—one to death and the other to abandonment—both had similar interests in engineering as a child; Sheldon told him he tried to build a working death ray from an old satellite dish and 25 laser pointers when he was nine-years-old, and then when he was 13, the FBI and the Energy Department came and questioned his parents about his acquisition of yellow cake uranium for a nuclear energy reactor he was building to provide his neighbourhood with free electricity and then confiscated his prototype. Howard had at 12 built his first battle bot, which used a circular saw blade as its primary weapon and at 15 designed and built a working model of what he dubbed the city of the future that was completely self-sustainable—it was that project that caught the eye of MIT and ultimately led to his full ride. And on top of that, he and Sheldon—just like he and Bernadette—shared a mutual love/hate relationship with their mothers. Howard believes that Sheldon could in time be the big brother/male authority figure he had hoped he had or

at least always told people he had. He just hopes that in time, he and Sheldon could develop the sort of brotherly relationship he had always craved growing up. "I think you're well on your way to solving it, and who knows maybe you might be the first non-academic to win a Nobel for it," he joked.

Sheldon shook his head in amusement, "I already have a Medal of Honor, I honestly don't know if I can handle winning a Nobel on top of that."

"She looks so angelic," Bernadette whispered staring at the napping toddler in her crib. Penny snorts, "Trust me, she's a right terror when awake."

Bernadette giggles, "So who does she more resemble at this stage, you or Sheldon?"

Penny shrugs, "I don't know, but if Charlotte takes after me, God help her boyfriends later in life when they have to deal with Sheldon. Heck, I pity any other girls I may have in the future when they bring home idiots that a stern, no-nonsense Marine might take issue with, especially if my dating history in high school is any road map to go off of."

"So you dated a lot of idiots in high school? Me too." Bernadette commiserated, "At the time my dad was still a police detective so the boys I brought home kinda knew what to expect so they— around my dad at least—acted very gentlemanly, but he saw through them like Casper."

Penny nodded, "My dad was long retired from the Army by the time I was born, but he never lost his shooting skills or infantry instincts, especially after my sister got knocked up in high school, in fact, he played up the military angle quite a bit with a lot of my boyfriends—personally I think that's what scared them off. I just think it's funny it took until I began dating a Marine for him to relax a bit."

Bernadette laughed, "Well you know what they say about daddy's girls, they typically look for partners who remind them of their dads."

Penny made a face, "Are you saying that Howard is your subconscious' idea of your dad because as much as I'm starting to like the guy, he doesn't exactly give off former cop vibes," she giggled and Bernie joined in.

"No, I guess not, but he is really sweet although his magic tricks can be a bit much," Bernadette admits. "But most of the time he's incredibly endearing."

Penny shakes her head amused, "You got it bad, Bernie."

"I know," Bernadette blushes, "Seeing you guys together with a kid is seriously making me rethink my 'no kids' policy. I kinda want a mini-me and him after watching you and Sheldon with Charlotte."

"Are wedding bells on the horizon?" Penny grinned, she knows despite Bernadette growing up in a large family—being the youngest of six—Bernadette always felt like the black sheep of the Rostenkowski kids because she was also the smallest at just 4'11". Penny thinks Bernadette is actually really good for Howard because the guy kinda reminds her of her own brother, Randy— without the drug problem. He's just searching for a place to fit in and while she doesn't really know Howard that well yet, she can see what Howard sees in Bernadette; a pretty girl who is smart, has an odd relationship with her mother, and above all likes him for him. Howard she thinks provides the same thing so as to not make Bernadette feel so alone. At the end of the day, that's all anybody is really looking for.

"Maybe, if I can get my dad to approve of Howard."

"Well, whatever you need, Sheldon and I are here to help; and if he's not available maybe after he comes back from his next mission." Penny offers.

"Thanks."

Flashback

May 2007

"Are you sure you can't make it in time for graduation?" Penny asked for the third time during her Skype call with Sheldon.

"I'll try, Penny but while Michael and I should have been home months ago things are fluid here so they may hold one or both of us for an extended period. I miss you a lot, like a lot, if you get my meaning," he heard Penny giggle, "but while Michael and I want to see you and Val walk, it's just not something I can guarantee; I don't have that kind of sway." Sheldon sighed.

"I know honey, and I miss you, too. I just want you home, I almost lost you when you got shot, so I just want to hold you for as long as I can."

Sheldon smiles ruefully, "As I told you before, Penny, you aren't going to get rid of me that easily."

Penny sighed, "I know… just, stay safe, okay? I really don't want your mom or sister to call me because you were KIA. I just don't think I can handle that. I know we're moving fast, but in just two short years I can't picture my life without you in it. I know you have a tough job to do but you don't know how hard it is on me to worry about you, I don't want to worry about you… but I have no choice."

Sheldon sighs deeply, he loves this woman but he can't bear to see her like this, even thousands of miles away and through a computer screen he can feel her despair, "Penny, I love you, but I can't let you waste your life waiting on a man, so while it hurts me to say it, I will understand if you want to call the whole thing off."

Penny was shocked, "What?! Honey, I didn't… I don't… where in the fuck is this coming from, Sheldon?" The shock morphed into anger, "I don't want to leave you and I definitely don't want to call off our wedding, if I'm not getting rid of you as easily as you dying, you sure as hell aren't going to get out of this that easily by telling me I have an exit ramp. I knew exactly what I was getting myself into when I told you, I love you—you hear that—present tense; something I never told another guy ever. I know the sacrifices military families make, and that's exactly what I intend to make with you—a family—so don't be telling me, 'I will understand if you want to call the whole thing off,' you bastard. I am not some wilting wallflower, I just want your ass back here so we can get started. Capisce?"

Sheldon chuckled.

"What's so funny, you son of a bitch?" She didn't like that he found their relationship to be funny, "Don't act like you didn't just try to call off our wedding through Skype, I don't give a shit if you are a Marine, I will go Junior Rodeo on your ass."

Sheldon laughed harder, wiping away a tear of joy, "There's my girl, not the worry wart," he

eventually said, then, "Rest assured Penelope, I'm coming home, I don't know when, but I am, and when I do I'm gonna marry the shit out of you."

Penny harrumphs, crosses her arms over her chest, and says rather poutingly, "You better."

Sheldon smiles and looks over somewhere off-camera, he then turns to her and tells her has to go, "I'm being summoned, I need to go. I love you, Penny, I'll see you soon."

"I love you too, honey," she says before she ends the call.

After Penny and Sheldon ended the video call, Sheldon instead of reporting to a commanding officer, shouldered his sea bags and went to the transport plane. He was going home. He thinks he both threw Penny off his trail and solidified their commitment at the same time; the latter is a bonus. He doesn't want Penny to worry, as dangerous as it is out here, nothing will stop him from getting back to her. He also doesn't want her to go into this marriage with regrets; they still have time to call off the wedding or move it to a different date later but Sheldon wants Penny to go in fully committed, so her angry response is probably the first time in his life ever he was happy to have his testicles threatened.

Sheldon is on his way home with Michael by his side. Ramadi was under coalition hands; he had survived several harrowing close encounters with death, including, being shot—thankful for both his body armour and instincts to help him survive it; nearly being blown up by a deranged suicide bomber along with members of an Army platoon; and have a scouting mission turn into an urban ambush. But through it all nothing was going to stop him from returning to the feisty, incredibly beautiful, independent, determined, smart and bubbly farm girl he fell for not so long ago but like she said he can't picture his life without her in it. The few dozen other Marines—attached to the same expeditionary force Sheldon and Michael belonged to—onboard the transport plane were in their own world.

"So have you thought over my proposal?" Michael suddenly asked. Sheldon turns to the man that he's known for 10 years, "You're serious?"

"Absolutely. I know you turned down OCS on my account, not once, not twice, but three damn times. That's basically three times for every Silver Star you earned. This is the only way I can think of, to not feel guilty for holding back my best friend and brother."

"I don't know… it seems pretty drastic, besides I like the enlisted ranks. The uniforms are much nicer," Sheldon joked.

"Look Doc, I appreciate you wanting to be here for me and everything, especially after what happened with Kyle, but you can't save me forever. As much as I want to do the same for you too, I have a wife at home, and your sorry ass is about to get hitched too so we can't be selfish anymore, we have to think of them and the future." Michael said hunched over looking at the wallet-sized pictures of him and Val, "And I know for a fact you want that for you and Penny too, otherwise, you wouldn't be all mopey as fuck or happy as hell when thinking or talking about her."

Sheldon sat there contemplating, then after a while said, "So first baby is the trigger? But what makes you think you and Val will conceive before me and Penny? I have a wedding coming up and you know what follows a wedding right? A honeymoon with well, you know. And lots of it," he smirks.

Michael mirrors his smirk, "Yeah well, Val and I have been trying before we left for Iraq and let me tell ya, after 14 months of nothing but desert I'm ready to dive right into an oasis."

"Poet and you didn't even know it," Sheldon smiles, "All right, fair enough I think it's time we were on level ranking anyway," he extended his hand for Michael to shake, which the other man sitting next to him did gleefully, "Deal."

Michael smiled, "You're not gonna regret this, Doc. This is just step one to eventually getting you named Chairman of the JCS or something."

"Whoa, easy there, Marine. We ain't officers yet." "The keyword there being, 'yet'."

Penny straighten her graduate cap and took a deep breath, she couldn't believe she was graduating from the same college both her parents went to. UNL is an institution in their house and while her parents had two college funds wiped away; one because of a wedding and the other to pay for court fees, she had promised her dad when she started at Central High that she would follow through.

She knows her dad probably had a few too many bad flashbacks when she was dating a different boy every few weeks throughout high school, but that's high school, she was trying to establish herself in the social hierarchy that is high school—and when you're a minor and still stupid, you fall into social traps like it because there was no other social capital other than a boy/girlfriend; so Penny just took all of them. And while she may have developed some feelings for some of them, none of it was anything beyond puppy love. Not like it was with Sheldon. Here was a man who loves her for being her—not the cheerleader, not the hot farmer's daughter, not the wannabe actress. After her sister Lisa's early marriage and her brother Randy's drug problem, she swore to do things right, even if they were hard—to never give her parents another reason to worry. She wanted her parents to be proud of at least one of them. Penny was determined to be at least a shining star in the family if she can't be on in Hollywood. It wasn't until she met Sheldon and then spoke her thoughts aloud that she realised how truly stupid that idea of hers was because for one thing, she didn't have a lot of money; and she knew apartments in California were expensive. Her meagre savings as a college student on work-study were definitely not enough that's including her babysitting money from watching the Perkins kids and lifeguard job at Cunningham Lake during the summers. At least with a degree, even in drama, she could always fall back on teaching.

Susan knocked on Penny's door and peered inside, "Hey sweetie, you look real nice, ready to go? Everyone's waiting in the station wagon."

Penny took one last look at herself in the mirror and took a deep breath, and nodded to her reflection. Turning to her mother she smiles and says, "Okay, let's go."

Susan beams, "This is so exciting," draping an arm around Penny, "My little baby is graduating from Nebraska!"

Penny's smile dims, "Thanks mom, but not everybody is going to be there to see it, not the one person I most want to see anyway."

"Oh honey, you know as well as I that Sheldon would make it if he could, in fact, he told me to save his ticket in case he needs it for the grandstands. He said if he does make it he'll text me for his ticket."

Penny brightens up, "Really?"

"Would I lie to you, baby?" Susan covertly crosses her fingers behind her back. She knows her daughter misses her fiancé and she knows that for the last year and some change, she'd been worried about getting The Call. Susan can relate because she was the same way, all the way back

during Korea. Wyatt Teller, her then-boyfriend of seven months had voluntarily gone to Korea before a draft could be instituted and she listened to the radio with despair nightly. They weren't serious or anything but she knew dating a G.I. made you grow up faster than you intended. She was seeing that in her youngest daughter, the one most like her and yet the one she had the least communication with—partly due to her other two children. Susan can see, plain as day how much her daughter loves her fiancé, she was listless from March until that day last July, and even though that weekend home—Penny rarely goes home—resulted in a lot of crying and what-ifs, her daughter had shown more energy worrying over her Marine overseas than Susan thinks she ever did while Wyatt was in Korea. But she knows why, Sheldon treats her youngest daughter like the person she should be—that gives her the confidence to be herself rather than the ditzy blonde, people expect. Her youngest is more than just a pretty face; she is athletic, having been Midwest Regional Junior Rodeo champion and National runner-up during her younger years, a gifted tennis and softball player—winning two NCAA Softball championships at Nebraska, and a skilled horseback rider; a lover of animals; a talented actress, she was the star of every spring production Central High put on, and it wasn't as if she half-assed her performances either; a lover of classical Greek literature, Susan doesn't know if it's because of her name or because of a teacher but Penny simply adores classical Greek literature; she is exceptionally determined, tell her she can't do something and she'll flip the world upside down to prove she can—personally Susan thinks that why she had so many damn boyfriends in high school because Wyatt hated all of them. That was a form of rebellion, but she's glad her husband never gave in because that led her to a man who not only loves her but treats her like the strong-willed woman she is.

On the way down the stairs, Susan just hopes that Penny likes her surprise. She knows her daughter will. Secretly, Sheldon had been in contact with her and Wyatt and the Nebraska Undergraduate Commencement committee since late April planning Penny's graduation surprise. Penny thinks that Sheldon is somewhere in Iraq right now but his plane touched down in Houston last week and for the last few days, Sheldon, the Dean of Arts and Sciences, the university president, and the chancellor had been using the Teller farm to finalise their plan because it would've been too risky to have Sheldon come on campus in case somebody recognised him.

When Susan and Wyatt saw Sheldon again, he was different somehow; he was more determined, tired, and hardened—which is only natural after fighting non-stop for more than a year. Susan and Wyatt were somewhat nervous to be honest, deceiving Penny but they knew this was going to be memorable.

Penny couldn't wait for the damn ceremony to be over now, she had gotten her hopes up, hoping that Sheldon would make it but when her mom texted her back that Sheldon wasn't seated with them she got depressed. She knew that because Sheldon couldn't guarantee when he was coming home, he probably wasn't. She sat through the commencement speaker speech, the valedictory speech, the president's address, and finally the diplomas. Here she just zoned out until her row was called, she'll be one of the last to have hers called having a last name that started with the 20th letter of the alphabet. She takes some solace in that soon she can move up 17 spots—that is if Sheldon ever gets his ass home.

Over the last year, Penny got really good at letter writing. Starting in April, she wrote to him every three weeks, it was in one of those letters that she begged him to find a way anyway so that she could see his face—she never thought that would come when he was in recovery. Her anxiety spiked after that, but so too did her resolve. She promised herself and anybody who was listening that if they brought Sheldon back to her she would love him the way they both deserve to be loved because she realised that with his job and his need to keep those he cares about in that environment alive, time was their enemy. They could have the next 60 years or the next 60 minutes. Penny knows what she wants and how to get them, but short of going to the White House and threatening

the president of the United States with Junior Rodeo unless he brought her fiancé home all she had was hope. It was here that her love of classical Greek literature came through better than The Bible. The story of Pandora soothed her anxious soul beyond anything she could fathom because while Pandora let out all of the evil into the world, she didn't let hope escape and since Sheldon told her he was shot Penny needed any sliver of hope she could grab onto. The Odyssey became required nightly reading because she would imagine them in Homer's epic and the stories he'd tell her once he returned; that's why it became required reading to know that even in ancient times there were people in her situation and they got to see their beloved again.

The S's and T's were next so she stood and waited in line. When it was finally her turn she gave her card to the dean as she was told, but unlike the rest of the graduates the dean didn't just say her name, present her with a diploma, and let her walk off stage.

Instead, the dean took the card from her, looked at it, smiled at her warmly, and then says, "Our next graduate is about to get a very special surprise, Penelope Quinn Teller, cum laude, presented by her fiancé, United States Marine Corps Staff Sergeant Sheldon Cooper recently returned after a second deployment in Iraq." Penny froze at those words. Her jaw hung open, and her eyes went wide as Sheldon in his dress blues walked from the other side of the stage to thunderous applause. She then regained her bearings and broke down on stage, nearly keeling over as tears began to free fall. She ran toward him jumping into his arms and kissing him onstage to cheers and applause; she didn't care where she was. He is here, he caught her, he's kissing her in front of a few thousand people—and they were cheering them on—it isn't just her deranged mind missing him so much to play tricks on her. Sheldon sets her down and together they walk back toward the dean—Penny now firmly wrapped around his side— who hands Sheldon the diploma, which he immediately hands to her. She takes it with shaky hands and a watery smile. The dean looks endearingly at Penny and asks, "Penny, did we surprise you?" She nods enthusiastically. The dean smiles and tells her "Congratulations, Penny."

After they walk off stage to one last round of applause, Penny knows she should return to her seat to finish the ceremony but as far as she was concerned, her ceremony was over. Instead, she walks off with Sheldon down the aisle—just not that aisle—and toward one of Memorial Stadium's many tunnels. Once she has him alone, she looks left, then right, then pushes him up against the tunnel wall, only to pull him down and kiss him deeply without an audience. When they break, her face takes on a look of annoyance, "Why do you keep doing this to me? First, it was before summer, then your proposal, and now this! I thought you hated surprises."

Sheldon cups her cheek and wipes away stray tears as he chuckles, "I do when I'm on the receiving end. Not when I'm on the giving end as it turns out when it comes to you."

Penny giggles, "Do you realise how gay that sounds?" Sheldon chuckles, "Yeah, I heard it the moment I said it."

"Who else knew, because I know you didn't do this alone," Penny asked with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Well," Sheldon began ticking off, "there's your mom and dad, Lisa, the dean, the chancellor, the university president, Val—"

"Wait, are you telling me my whole family knew you were home and they kept that from me?" Sheldon nodded, "How long have you been home, Sheldon?"

"Promise you won't get mad?"

"I make no such promises, Moonpie," Penny told him sternly. "A week."

"A week! I could've had you in my arms instead of worrying about you and wondering if you were going to show up for a week! You bastard!" Penny slapped his chest. When she did she felt something in his left pocket. "What the hell?"

Sheldon reaches in and takes out an envelope that is crumpled that is addressed to her. "This was an in-case-of-emergency letter I had on me since last August. After our talk in July, I didn't want you to receive notice of my passing just by official Pentagon correspondence. I am glad they never had to send it and that I can give it to you." He gives it to her, and Penny takes it warily, uncertain whether she wanted to know the contents. The front of it read: "To my beloved Penny" then below had her address, curiosity won out and she ripped open the letter. It was dated July 16, that was two days after their Skype call.

She read it aloud softly to herself:

"To my beloved Penny,

If you are reading this I'm sorry I cannot keep my promise to you. Don't cry, Penelope, please don't cry. My life may have ended, but my love for you endures. You are an amazing woman that I am forever grateful to have known and be loved by. I know it hurts now Penny, but time heals all wounds. There will come a day when you will love again, I know it because your heart is too big not to, and that's okay. I will see you through all of life's hardships from afar until we meet again. Penny, if you are reading this, this Marine is sorry he wasn't strong enough to make it back, but I love you always.

Eternally yours, SSgt. Sheldon L. Cooper."

As she read a new batch of tears fell onto the months-old paper causing the ink to smear. When she finished she looked up at her fiancé; standing there tall, proud, and above all, alive with unshed tears in her eyes again. She then crumpled up the letter and threw it away, "I don't need that, I have the real thing," she says as she kisses him again. As they kiss, Penny feels a stirring she hadn't in so long—she knows that feeling. She breaks apart and whispers, "I want you, Sheldon. Kissing you isn't enough, I need you, I haven't had you or anybody or anything in a year, I need it."

"What about the ceremony?"

"Fuck the ceremony, I need you to fuck me," she tells him bluntly.

Sheldon chuckles, "I suppose, after all, I did keep you in the dark for a week." "Damn right, you did."

"All right, let's go, I suppose your parents can be sympathetic to your plight. I'll try and make it up to them later." He drags her away and out of the stadium to excited giggles from her.