Chapter XIX

"Pool, pool, pool!!" Charlotte chanted, running around like a coked-up cheetah. "Honey… sweetie…," Penny tried, then yelled, "Charlotte!"

Charlotte stopped in her tracks.

"Thank you, honey," Penny smiled at her almost three-year-old. It was moving day on the fourth floor, not just in 4A.

The Coopers were moving to a Mediterranean-style house with a pool—which was why Charlotte was so excited and had been since she saw it a week ago—in nearby Arcadia after failing to secure a successful bid on a house in Madison Heights, literally three minutes down the road from the apartment. Penny had really wanted that house, but her 'Plan B' was newer, bigger, cheaper, and belonged in a better school district.

"It sucks that I could only be neighbours with you guys for a week before you had to leave," Bernadette pouted helping a heavily pregnant Penny up onto her feet and giving her a hug.

Penny and Sheldon had actually secured the Arcadia house a week before Howard and Bernadette's wedding but they didn't want their friends to have the added stress of them moving to their worries. It also took a while for them to clear escrow, which they did while Howard and Bernadette were on their honeymoon. And while the Coopers were moving out of 4A, the Wolowitzes were moving in.

"I know, sweetie, but on the bright side we're only 15 minutes away rather than 1500 miles." Bernadette chuckles, "That was an option?"

Penny nods, "When my parents, especially my dad knew we were seriously looking for a house, a week later I got an entire folder of available houses located in Omaha from him with a note that said, 'Time to come home'."

Bernie giggles, "You can't blame the guy, he just wants to be around his grandkids."

"Yeah I know, but my whole life is here; my job, you guys, I don't think I can even think about moving back home."

The two families spend the entire day moving with Raj and Emily and a team of movers chipping in. The plan had been for Raj to take 4B after Howard and Bernadette moved into 4A but there was a no pets except fish rule in the building so Raj couldn't take his dog, Cinnamon, so he stayed put in his old place.

A week later, Howard, Bernadette, Raj, and Emily along with Val, Michael and Alex were over to celebrate Charlotte's third birthday, doubling as a housewarming. This was the first birthday that the kids outnumbered the adults since Penny and Sheldon's other friends had kids too.

Howard and Raj had met some during Charlotte's last birthday, but when a large family arrived they and their significant others were surprised to find out that this was the family of the then- Army Specialist that Sheldon had saved in Iraq. In fact, because of the larger number of guests this year, they were pretty sure this was the entire platoon.

"Man, Sheldon is a bigwig in the military, and he's only a Lieutenant. I'd like to see what the future has in store for a guy with his skills, bravery, and smarts," Raj says to Howard while watching their friend greet his guests.

"I heard Michael joke a few times about him being Chairman of the Joint Chiefs." Raj agrees, "I can see that happening."

"Speaking of the future, what's going on with you and Emily?" Howard asks.

"We're taking the scenic route," Raj grins, "I like her, no, I take that back; I love her but we aren't ready for a commitment like you and Bernie."

"Why, what's the problem?"

Raj chuckles, "There isn't one, we just want to focus on being together without the cloud of commitment hanging over our heads. Besides we've Skyped with my parents to allow them to meet Emily and I went to Evanston to meet her parents over the summer. So there's a foundation to build on in the future but the key is in the future."

When they bring out the cake, a Fudgie the Whale cake, Alex, Val's son remarks, "We all can't share that!"

Charlotte sticks her tongue out at him, ignoring him, and proceeds to blow out her candles after 'Happy Birthday' is sung.

"What did you wish for, Charlie?" Eric Mueller asks. "If I told you, it won't come true."

Sheldon leans over and whispers, "She wants a My Little Pony play set. She's been dropping hints for the last month. I blame Penny's love of horses and her sister Lisa's own My Little Pony collection."

Eric chuckles quietly. "Well, at least I'm glad I'm not the only dad whose daughter has a My Little Pony fixation."

"Personally, I worry that Eleanor will take after Penny and collect Care Bears."

Eric snickers and slaps his friend on the shoulder commiseratively. "On the bright side, since you'll be here from the beginning you may be able to influence her toward the contrary."

"Yeah, but not long enough. I could be called up any time. You know, a part of me is saying there will always be war so you're fighting a losing battle, quit while you're ahead. Then I see the atrocities committed in armed conflicts all over the world and I think I can end all of this, I just need time."

Eric nods, "You'll get your chance, Doc, but in the meantime enjoy what you got. A beautiful and loving family."

Sheldon smiles, "Thanks, Mueller."

The Clarkes, Wolowitzes, Raj and Emily all hung back after Charlotte's party ended and the guests went home. Penny apparently had something to share with the group. Starting on Friday, Penny would be going on maternity leave, but she wanted to stay on with the office until the last possible

moment.

"What do you think Penny's surprise is?" Val asked the group at large, even though Penny was her best friend she had no idea what her friend was up to.

"Your guess is as good as mine," Bernadette chuckles.

The group laughed and got their answer a few minutes later after Sheldon and Penny had put Charlotte down for the night and entered the living room which was mostly put together, even after just a week.

"Okay, so," Penny began as Sheldon helped her sit, she was due in a couple of weeks and she felt impossibly blimp-like, "back when Sheldon got his Medal of Honor, after the ceremony we were walking along the National Mall and I told him jokingly that I could make a movie of my life up until our wedding and nobody not even Hollywood would believe it. Sheldon then said they won't believe it, but they'll probably go watch. Anyway, I didn't think about it much until Charlotte was born, those months taking care of a newborn—two newborns—" she looked over at Val, "in my spare time I sat down and wrote the script. I finally got the courage to pitch my script to Paramount a month ago and they agreed to buy it while allowing me creative control of production."

The gathered group were stunned.

"I just want your input on who you want to play you, Val and Michael."

Val and Michael looked shocked then amused, "Who are playing you guys?" Val asked.

"We're going to try a screen test with Tom Hardy and Hilary Duff first because that's who Sheldon said should play us initially."

Val and Michael thought about it long and hard, until Raj said, "Oh come on, it's so obvious. John Krasinski and Dianna Agron."

"The guy from The Office and the girl from Glee?" Penny asked pondering the possible match. Raj nodded.

"Hmm… well, Mike, Val what do you think?"

"I'm a lot more fun than Sheldon so I think that casting fits," Michael admits after a while, "Besides he does have my body type—now."

"Yeah, and she did/does play the bitchy cheerleader Queen Bee pretty convincingly," Val giggles.

"And Sheldon and Penny, Tom Hardy and Hilary Duff are good actors, but I don't think they capture the two of you," Raj then pulls out his phone and brings up the IMDB webpage and searches. "If I was casting your movie I'd go with him for Sheldon," he shows the couple the publicity photo of actor Robert Holbrook.

Penny grabs the Indian man's phone and has to do a double take, looking at her husband and the guy in the photo. "Holy crap on a cracker… honey, I know Missy is your twin sister and your mom says she has the stretch marks to prove it," Penny laughs as the others grimace, "But this guy is like your clone or something."

"I guess," Sheldon shrugs, "There is after all a theory that says everyone on Earth has an exact double that exists somewhere."

"Theory nothing, this guy is you. It's like he stole your face and used it to become an actor." "You're over-exaggerating, Penny."

Penny passes Raj back his phone. He immediately begins another search, "And for you, Penny, I'd go with her." Pulling up the profile of actress Bridget Harrington and handing his phone back to her.

Penny takes one look and nearly drops his phone, "Jesus!" She exclaims. Raj is smug and sits back on the sectional.

"Sheldon, she looks just like me!"

Howard and Bernadette who had been content watching their friends freak out, were now curious. "Who?"

Raj smiles, "Look up 'Bridget Harrington' and 'Robert Holbrook'."

Howard and Bernadette do respective searches on their phones while Michael and Valerie hover from behind them. The resulting cries of astonishment from the quartet are enough for Penny to not put too much stock in the Tom Hardy and Hilary Duff screen test. After all, who best to play her and Sheldon than "her" and "Sheldon"?

"So when's this movie coming out?" Howard asks.

"Next year sometime. We'll really get into it after I come back from maternity leave." "What about your job as Assistant Director on Late Night?" Raj asks.

"That's the best part of all of this," Penny beams, "CBS wants me to take a much more hands-on approach with new talent so they're giving me leeway to produce and direct my movie and depending on the returns I might be in line for a studio exec position. I know it's pretty soon to go into management but I think I might be ready. Plus, with this guy away," she looks at Sheldon, "all the time I could definitely use the studio childcare network."

Sheldon looks at Penny, "Is that a not-so-subtle barb at wanting me to retire?" Penny smirks, "You interpret that any way you like."

Howard snickers, "If the robot from Lost In Space heard that he would be waving his arms and telling you, 'Danger, Sheldon Cooper, danger!'"

Michael laughs and slaps his shoulder good-naturedly, "Good one."

August gives way to September and Penny is more than ready to have her second child, the nursery had been finished for a week now. It's now a waiting game. Eleanor's entrance is both convenient and inconvenient, occurring on a Saturday which means Sheldon doesn't need to go to work, but it also happens at three in the morning. Penny honestly thought she wet the bed rolling over until she realised that wasn't pee. They woke up Charlotte and put her in the car and called Howard and Bernadette to meet them in the maternity ward of Huntington Hospital all within 15 minutes. It turns out they probably didn't need to rush.

Penny is sweating and in a lot of pain. The biggest difference was this time she could yell and blame and tell off the man who put her in this condition—like a normal woman giving birth—the

last time all she could do was scream and curse at Val. That didn't feel right, this does with Sheldon by her side, allowing her to crush his hand as her contractions got closer and closer.

Another contraction hit, and Penny groaned in pain, and her grip on his hand felt as if an Abrams tank was running over it. Sheldon made a mental note to strengthen his hands, particularly his trigger hand in the event they have more children and he finds himself in this position again.

Penny glares up at her husband, she knows he really isn't to blame they both wanted this—she was particularly enthusiastic when they did it to make this little bundle—but Ellie's delivery is definitely not like Charlotte's. While Charlotte's labour was long, 18 hours, Penny didn't remember being in this much pain. And besides, her eldest pretty much used her birth canal like a Slip n' Slide after she was told to push. Ellie was being a lot more stubborn.

Finally, it was time, after a gruelling 14 hours in labour—her mother's notion of the second baby being quicker and easier than the first can go jump off a cliff—her contractions were close enough that her doctors told her to really push.

"Arghhh!!!" Penny exclaimed as her hand clamped down on Sheldon's—which hadn't let hers go since they entered the delivery room 14 hours ago—and her other hand gripped the hospital bed rail enough to turn her knuckles white. Sheldon for his part was dabbing sweat from her forehead. She turned to him, face red, hair matted, eyes narrowed in anger and pain, "Would you stop that?!" She yelled, she let out another groan and pushed again, "I'm giving birth, not a car getting detailed!"

"One more push, Penny, and the shoulder should pass," said her doctor from below her.

Penny let out another loud groan and pushed and then she felt empty. Suddenly, the delivery room was filled with a piercing cry, Penny fell back onto the bed exhausted.

Sheldon looked at his exhausted and yet somehow still enchanting wife. Brushing away her matted blonde hair he leans down and kisses her. He is reminded of the Tchaikovsky version of the Sleeping Beauty ballet he saw with his host family in Stuttgart just after his father died. The way Penny's eyes flutter open and the way she smiles as she responds to his kiss, takes him back to the ballet. He leans in for a second kiss but is interrupted by a nurse carrying a baby covered in a pink blanket and presenting it to him.

"Mr. Cooper, would you like to hold your daughter?" The nurse asks sheepishly knowing she is interrupting a tender moment.

Sheldon smiles and gladly takes Eleanor from her, he missed out on this with Charlotte, he'll be damned if he'll miss this again. The newborn with her eyes closed in his arms takes his breath away for the simple fact that he is present to see her whereas when Penny was pregnant with Charlotte he was cross-country and had been for a year. As he holds his youngest daughter he feels the same torrent of emotion he felt when he received his Eagle, Globe, and Anchor emblem after completing Basic Training all those years ago. Cautiously and reverently, he speaks to her, "Hello Eleanor, I'm Daddy."

As if the sound of his voice was what she was waiting to hear, Ellie's eyes flutter open, remarkably like her mother just a few minutes ago. Her eyes are similar to Charlotte's, blue with flecks of green, her eyes are also large—he wonders if Charlotte's were the same when Penny first saw them—Ellie seems to know who the person holding her is, and starts to coo happily in his arms.

Sheldon is in awe, he looks over and sees Penny looking at him with a contented, tired look from her pillow. He smiles at his wife, evermore thankful that this woman beside him loves him enough to endure the strains of being a military spouse and still wants to have children with him. He takes

a few steps towards her and offers Eleanor to her.

"You hold her," Penny tells him tiredly and looks at the clock, "I'll be holding her quite a bit in a few minutes anyway."

Sheldon smiles, "You are incredible, you know that?"

Penny chuckles, "Sure, say that after I've pushed out a seven-pound, crying, miniature human." He chuckles too, "Well, you are."

The family quietly spend time together until a nurse comes in and tells Penny it's time for the baby's first feeding. Penny sighs but sits up, and Sheldon hands her their daughter. He gives her a peck on the lips and tells her he'll leave to let Eleanor nurse and inform the others in the waiting room.

Three days after Eleanor Cooper's birth on the 17th of September, Howard is walking around 4A, taking in his new home with his wife and all the things she brought into it. There are more than a few Backstreet Boys posters—framed ones—and she has a very distinct interest in throw pillows. While he's not exactly crazy about her showing off five guys that are much more aesthetically pleasing than him, he figures if he doesn't comment on her boyband obsession then his love of Neil Diamond is safe. On the back bookshelf, is the drone picture of their wedding party. Bernie's extra-long train was made into a heart by Sheldon and Alicia's husband Greg, with the rest of her train supposed to look like an arrow being shot through it. They made three dozen copies of that and sent those out to the attendees as 'Thank you' cards. He's also feeling somewhat sentimental looking around his and Bernadette's new apartment since he is officially 45 days from lifting off into space. The more he thinks about it the more he doesn't want to go. He'll spend 99 days in space on the International Space Station, but still, he'll be leaving Bernie, his friends, and his mother.

He is looking around the stacks of DVDs they've yet to organise and comes across a VHS tape in a blank display box. There's nothing written on the display box and the tape just says '1999'.

Curiosity gets the best of him and he puts the tape into the combination DVD/VHS player his mother bought for him back when DVDs were still a new thing; given his growing interest in the mystery tape, he's glad he has it now.

It plays without any problems but picks up where it left off last because he didn't rewind. The picture is somewhat grainy and it is clearly camcorder shot, but that's not what gets his attention. On-screen is a much younger Bernadette in a puffy peach-coloured dress with sequins, in make-up and her hair in a fancy up-do, smiling.

"Hi. I'm Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski from Yorba Linda, California." Bernadette comes in and is horrified at what Howard is watching, "Howard!"

He flinches, he forgets that Bernadette can mimic his mom pretty much exactly. "Come over here," he pats the seat next to him with a smile.

She does but looks rather grumpy. He turns back in time to watch her younger self say and sing, "And you should pick me for Miss California Quiznos 1999, because I want to," then she starts singing, "tell you what I want, what I really really want, l tell you what I want, what I really really want, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really, really, really be Miss California Quiznos 1999."

He leans over and laughs into his wife's shoulder, she crosses her arms and harrumphs. When he finishes he wipes away a tear and says, "Bernie, I love you, I always will but this," he points to the screen where her younger self is still performing, "is the single greatest present you've given to me so far. Just one question, did you win? Did I marry not only a doctor but a beauty queen?"

She turns and glares at him, unimpressed. "No… I got runner-up to stupid Allison Molifson," she told him through gritted teeth.

Howard smiles, "Hey, I'll take it. Sleeping with a beauty pageant runner-up is better than I thought I'd ever do anyway," he says with a smile as he turns off the player, pulls Bernadette to her feet, and drags her to the bedroom.

Later, while spooning his wife, Howard chuckles to himself. Bernadette looks up and asks what's so funny. He chuckles louder before telling her, "Fourteen-year-old me would be so jealous of current me right now."

"And why's that?"

"Because 14-year-old me wanted to date Miss Teen California 1994 and here I am in bed and married to the runner-up of Miss California Quiznos 1999," he says with a mirthful tilt in his voice.

Laying in bed with his wife, Howard thinks he is the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet. He has the opportunity to be an astronaut, he's married to the most beautiful, caring, loving, and tenacious woman in the world, and he has great friends—something he thought impossible while getting picked on by even the band kids back in junior high. He might fear going into space, but at least for now his fears are allayed because he has Bernie in his arms and friends he can count on.

It's Tuesday morning and Raj is in his office getting a jump start on his next theorem when Dr. Gablehauser comes by to see him.

"Good morning, Dr. Koothrappali. I just want to be the first to commend you on an incredible past academic year at the university, we were correct in making you the keynote speaker at this year's Founder's Dinner in May. We raised over $125,000 that night. But beyond the fundraising, the administration is impressed by your contributions to Astronomy Magazine, your publication of your dark matter theorem, your interviews with NOVA and your discovery of your comet— Koothrappali-86365—in April."

Well, thank you, Dr. Gablehauser," Raj smiles.

"I also want to be the first to let you know that due to all of those achievements you are the 2011 Dannie Heineman Prize for Astrophysics recipient. Congratulations."

Raj's jaw dropped. When he finally picked it up, he looked at his boss, "Are you serious?"

Gablehauser smiled warmly, "Completely. The prize committee will send you your official notice in the mail, but I just wanted to be the first to congratulate you."

Raj thanks his boss again before Gablehauser leaves.

He sits back in his chair and thinks back exactly a year ago at little Charlotte Cooper's birthday when Penny introduced him to Emily, the pretty redhead who has he had to admit a rather macabre sense of humour, who has been his support system. It's because of Emily and the realisation he made with Missy Cooper's help that a strong support system was essential to achieving what you want. If he was honest with himself, his life changed on that day after paintball. After really

meeting Sheldon and Penny and their family he understood just how lonely he had been. Just how much of his life had been on autopilot until then; he was living, but he was going through the motions of being in the moment. The dinner with the Coopers made him realise what he needed, his family or at least the closest amalgamation of it. He slowly began to re-evaluate the people in his life and what part they played in his "family" dynamic. Howard was definitely as close to a brother as there was; when he began to date Bernadette she was the closest to a sister-in-law that he could talk to that there was; Penny and Sheldon were because he didn't see them that much, more like close cousins. He liked that for his immediate group of friends, thinking of them as a family allowed him to concentrate on his work and other aspects of his life he had been neglecting. That is what led him to both Emilys. As great as family was he realised he needed someone by his side. It was meeting Dr. Emily Sweeney that he knew he had found the Kelly Ripa to his Mark Consuelos

—the only thing was they were content with taking things slow. Raj had to admit, if dating Emily won him the Heineman Prize, he wonders what would happen when they finally do make a commitment; the Nobel?

Leonard sat in his prison cell reading a worn but intact copy of Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky. He checked the book out from the prison library a few days ago. He remembers reading this for AP Lit and in college to try and impress his floormate, Katerina Danilovna, a Russian international student who looked a lot like tennis player Anna Kournikova. Of course, nothing came from his attempt, although his roommate did hook up with her the day before Finals and locked him out of the dorm.

He can identify with Rodion Raskolnikov, Dostoevsky's protagonist in both deed and psychological anguish, and yet he also hates that even fictional characters are described as "exceptionally handsome, taller than average in height, slim, well built, with beautiful dark eyes and dark brown hair." Meanwhile, nobody will mistake him for a model. He also hates that Raskolnikov has a better relationship with his mother than he has with his own. In fact, since his mother's last visit with the family lawyer, there has been absolute radio silence from her end. It irks him that of the nearly thousand inmates here, he is the one that's received the least visitors, despite being the smartest of them.

If he was honest, the last 14 months—nearly 15 months—has been a special kind of torture. And that was saying something coming from him, who when he was a kid built a hugging machine to know what that felt like. He imagines this is what he'll experience when he goes to Hell. In the last 14 months, he's had two people visit him, his mother on two occasions, and his public defender who visited to update him on his bid for an appeal to the Supreme Court, which fizzled out. Other than those visitors, he was alone. His first cellmate didn't last two months before he was transferred to another prison in Kentucky, his second lasted three months before he was sent to Pennsylvania. His third lasted a month before he was sent to West Virginia. He understands why the American public thinks the prison system in the United States is like a revolving door.

But the cellmate turnover aside, the first few months in prison he definitely didn't look like a hardened felon, so he was teased quite a bit. Even now nearly a year and a half in he still doesn't look like a hardened felon. He doesn't use the free weights for exercise nor does he want to—he hated PE in school, and he isn't about to change that notion just because he was in prison. The other reason he had been given a wide berth since he arrived was because of the prison food. The first week he was there he told the servers he was lactose intolerant and they told him to file a dietary restriction order with the warden, in the meantime to avoid the foods he had a problem with. The order took four weeks to be filed, once it was he realised what a mistake it was because inmates began to give him a harder time once he was given a Lactaid pill every meal because they are always served bread with butter. They began to call him the warden's pet and would whistle toward him every time he walked by in the yard, and when he was given another perk, such as extra time outside they would whistle and say mockingly, "Who's a good boy?" He thought about reporting it but since he was unharmed and he didn't want to be called a snitch he put up with it in the hopes that it would go away. After about six weeks it did as they got tired of playing the game without getting a reaction from him. It was those few weeks that he actually felt accepted—which because of the pitiful nature of it all, is very telling about how much he craves social interaction. And it is because of that need to be around people whether they hate him or not that he swore never to do anything that can lead to him getting solitary confinement. He's pretty sure if he's put into solitary confinement, there's a good chance he'll go crazy.

Celebrating his 31st birthday in prison was a unique kind of hell. Growing up he was used to never getting a party or even a cake some years but at least his parents always acknowledged his birthday with a quick 'Happy birthday Leonard', sometime around breakfast. In prison, nobody cared, nobody even knew. It was just another day in the joint. At dinner, he stared into his veggie stuffed cabbage and sang 'Happy Birthday' to himself, he couldn't even finish the damn song in his head when he started to cry. Luckily, he blinked the unshed tears away and blamed it on the overpowering smell of cabbage when an inmate at his table asked what was wrong.

When he had told Oliver before his trial he could do a year in prison easily, he didn't realise how stupid he sounded. He'd been in here for a year and a half and it was already taking its toll on him, just 24 and a half more to go. He sighed as he turned the page.