The Turkey of Turkeys

St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, Room 165.

"Good morning, Mr. Weasley."

"Barnaby!" greeted the patriarch of the red-haired family from the hospital bed. "What a pleasant surprise, but how did you know about me?" he asked, slightly surprised.

It had barely been half a day since he was attacked by that blasted snake last night, and many of his Ministry colleagues didn't even know he was here yet.

In fact, Barnaby would have arrived a few minutes earlier and run into nearly the entire Order that had come to check on him.

"When the entire Weasley family moves, it's not hard to notice that something happened," Barnaby explained while placing a basket of soft sweets on the table next to the bed.

"Yes, I suppose so," Arthur appreciated the visit but also felt a little guilty for "turning down" the meals during the summer with him. But in his doubt, Molly had been quite insistent that he needed to act firmly. Barnaby was a good lad, but his conflicts with Dumbledore put him in a delicate position. "Are those sour banana gummies?"

"They are," Barnaby nodded, picking a couple up and handing them over. "I stopped by Honeydukes this morning, though I suspect the twins might have slipped a few of their creations into the basket after I spoke to them earlier."

Oh, so it was the mischievous duo who leaked the news.

"My father sends his apologies for not being able to come. The fire turtles are breeding, and they need watching to make sure they don't burn everything around them."

Arthur suddenly imagined Hogwarts and its surroundings on fire, with several fire turtles lined up, launching volleys of flames from their…

It was a chilling image.

"How long will you need to stay in the hospital?"

"A week at most," Arthur answered honestly, not seeing the need to lie or hide anything. "The worst part was that cursed venom. I had it in my blood for too long and need some extra potions and rest. Luckily, they found me in time."

"And how did they know?" Barnaby looked intrigued. "I understood you were alone at the Ministry."

Arthur froze, his mouth halfway through biting into the sour banana gummy, suddenly feeling it wasn't as tasty and even a little bitter.

Had he just said something he shouldn't?

For a moment, he even wondered if the sweets had a bit of Veritaserum, but quickly dismissed the idea. He still had his rational thinking intact, so that was impossible.

That, and he believed Barnaby wouldn't do something as crazy as that just for a casual answer from him.

He still felt a bit dazed from the attack.

But he couldn't tell him that Harry had warned Dumbledore!

The old man was being too paranoid, in Arthur's opinion, but he still had to come up with a plausible story. Barnaby was more than bright—half-truths would be uncovered in an instant.

"Well... You know about the family clock, an antique from many years ago. Molly saw that my hand was pointing to 'In danger' while she was making dinner in the Burrow and sent people to help me," he explained, starting to sweat profusely.

"Are you all right, Mr. Weasley?" Barnaby looked at him with concern. "Should I call the nurse?"

"It's nothing," Arthur hurried to stop him. If he let Barnaby call the nurse, he could say goodbye to the sweets.

And after an experience like this, some sugar was more than welcome!

To hell with the diet, Molly!

"I think it would be best if I let you rest," Barnaby prepared to leave.

He initially thought about helping Arthur recover if he was really bad, but seeing that he would get better soon, it seemed unnecessary for him to do anything.

"I appreciate you coming, Barnaby," Arthur said, throwing another gummy into his mouth with clear enjoyment. "And thanks for the sweets!"

He was going to finish them all before anyone else could come, just in case.

Barnaby left St. Mungo's deep in thought.

"Do you think he noticed the diluted Veritaserum in the sweets?" Sanshi asked, slightly concerned.

"No, he probably chalked it up to a slip of the tongue," Barnaby denied. "Though perhaps it was too diluted—it barely lasted a moment before Mr. Weasley lied to me."

It was Snape's recipe for making it undetectable, but maybe he added too much water as a precaution this time...

While it seemed like a plausible explanation, there were two errors in what Arthur said.

He mentioned the Weasley clock could be seen from the kitchen, but Barnaby had been to the Burrow a few times and knew the clock wasn't just in the living room; it couldn't be seen while someone was cooking.

As for the other mistake...

He could understand that if the first part were true, the Weasley family would move. But why did Harry leave with them?

As for the attack, there was no need to think too hard—using a snake made it clear from his point of view. Perhaps too obvious, really.

"The fact that Death Eaters managed to enter the Ministry of Magic and no one raised an alarm is an even bigger alarm in itself," he concluded.

He now felt relieved to have pulled Tonks out of there, even if it had been for other reasons.

What if the target had been her instead of the Weasley patriarch?

"Wait a second!" Barnaby suddenly realized something. "Why did they attack Mr. Weasley at the Ministry of Magic?"

From a logical point of view, it didn't make any sense!

If the Death Eaters had infiltrated the Ministry so deeply, it would have been best to maintain secrecy for as long as possible while their roots spread quietly.

And with all due respect, Arthur Weasley wasn't someone worth sacrificing all that effort for. He was in charge of a department, but his department was practically a joke in the eyes of the Death Eaters.

Nor was he the head of a prestigious pureblood family with a magical library filled by generations of scholars, possessing artifacts of great magical power, or wealth capable of moving the most malevolent.

In fact, Barnaby had never understood how the Weasleys ended up in their current situation.

"You can think about that later," Sanshi interrupted his musings. "Hurry up! I want to pick out a big, fat turkey, then cast an Engorgio on it and ask Calcifer to help me roast it to perfection. We'll have a great Christmas dinner!"

"I thought you hadn't decided on the menu yet," Barnaby said, a little surprised at the rush. "Starters, soup, desserts, sides..."

"And I haven't, but turkey is turkey!" Sanshi remarked as if it were obvious. "And with so many people, plus you and your father, I have to pick the turkey of turkeys."

"It's still days away from Christmas."

"Do you want to take care of Christmas dinner yourself?!" Sanshi narrowed her eyes, speaking in a threatening tone.

"Would you let me?" Barnaby was more than willing. He had only agreed to let Sanshi handle it this year. It was more of a culinary challenge, though of course, he would help prepare whatever she decided.

The nyokai was stunned by his response.

This wasn't how the script was supposed to go!

"Shut up and let's go get that turkey!"