Fiery Bite

Barnaby, did you lose some weight?" Pomona asked when she saw Barnaby at Hogwarts sometime later.

"It's nothing, I had some demanding work over the last few days," Barnaby dismissed with a smile as he discreetly held his hip. "A few meals and a couple of days of rest, and I'll be good as new."

Not like he was the one who ended up the worst…

"You should head to the kitchens then, the Great Hall has been set up for the exams, and it'll be a few hours before they finish using it and it returns to normal," Pomona kindly advised.

"Already?" he asked, confused. "I thought they took place in June?"

"...we're in June, Barnaby," Sprout was now seriously concerned.

Barnaby stood stunned in the hallway as he processed that information.

How did time fly by so fast without him noticing?!

Oh, right. Tonks and her newly discovered love for cosplay…

In the end, the redhead was dragged without time to react to Pomfrey's infirmary by the Herbology professor, where he received confirmation from an expert opinion that nothing was wrong.

Though Barnaby felt like hiding in a hole from the embarrassment when he saw the look Poppy gave him, as if she knew the EXACT reason why he had visibly lost weight in such a short time.

A week of ABSOLUTE tranquility—that was the prescription she gave him with a neutral expression.

Bless that woman for being a thorough professional!

"Barnaby."

"Shit!" Barnaby jumped in fright when he heard a sinister voice next to him as he left the infirmary. "Uncle Snape, don't do that!"

Not only because he nearly had a heart attack, but Sanshi almost leapt out of the shadows to attack in shock!

"I don't know what you're talking about," Snape kept a stoic expression, though Barnaby had the illusion he was holding back a subtle laugh. "The current headmistress is short on staff to supervise the Great Hall's exam and has ordered you to go there immediately."

Barnaby blinked.

"She… ordered me?" he repeated, making sure he'd heard right.

"She did," perhaps Snape noticed how a vein was dangerously bulging in Barnaby's neck, so he added, "The other professors are busy with their own exams, and there are no other qualified people available."

Barnaby considered ignoring the matter outright, but that would only give the pink toad a reason to cause him trouble if he wanted to stay at the school.

Plus, his father still worked there.

Even so, short on staff? A very convenient, yet also real excuse.

It was strange she hadn't brought a squad of Aurors just to intimidate…

Maybe she did but was denied?

"Fine," Barnaby mentally prepared himself for the upcoming minutes, in which he would need absolute patience. "I'll go now."

Snape followed him with his gaze until Barnaby disappeared around the corner, who knows what thoughts passed behind that stoic expression.

Barnaby entered the Great Hall and saw how multiple students sat at perfectly aligned desks, quill in hand while the other held their hair in concentration.

The noise of the doors opening caught everyone's attention, and they turned for a second, before recognizing him and returning their focus to the parchment before them.

"At least they're concentrated," he thought.

From the other end of the hall, Barnaby could see Umbridge's smug face when she confirmed he had come at her command, though that expression hardened when she noticed he didn't approach to greet her but stayed by the door to "fulfill his duties" more efficiently.

Umbridge was about to approach and scold him when strange sounds began coming from outside the door. Not only her, but the students and Barnaby heard the sounds too, though their reactions differed.

While Umbridge and the exam-takers were puzzled, Barnaby recognized the sound of Weasley explosives and had an idea of what was about to happen, so he remained still as if he were deaf.

He even regretted a bit that the twins hadn't come to find him; he could've given them some items that made really interesting explosions.

He made a mental note to find them or send them a letter later on about the matter—after all, an additional income stream is always welcome, and he had to save up if he wanted to start a family with Tonks.

"You!" Umbridge pointed her sausage-like finger at Barnaby. "Open the door and see what's going on."

Clearly, she preferred to send a disposable person rather than walk a few seconds to open the door herself.

Also, what's with the "you"?

He had a name, and he doubted the pink toad didn't know it—she did it on purpose, no doubt.

"Sure." Barnaby was laughing inside, but outwardly he shrugged, and with a tap of his staff on the floor, both doors of the Great Hall slowly opened.

It was almost dramatic, especially since Barnaby didn't even move from his spot or turn his head.

The sound of wind cutting through the air drew even more attention, and just moments after the doors opened, the Weasley twins flew in on brooms, throwing a variety of fireworks.

Exams flew everywhere, and most people were delighted, as this would cause a delay and give them more time to study the questions they had seen. It didn't occur to them for a moment that the content would change next time—poor innocent souls.

Hermione was the only one who stared, stunned, as her perfectly written and completed exam was blown away by the broom wind and reduced to ashes when a firework hit it, exploding into a lion-shaped burst of light.

The roar even messed up the young witch's hair more.

Filch ran in to see what was happening, but his shoulder was caught by Barnaby, who made him wait by his side, giving him a look that said not to worry.

"Ready, Fred?" one of the twins shouted, looking at his reflection on another broom.

"Here we go!" Fred threw a much larger cartridge, which exploded into multiple blasts forming the head of a dragon.

A dragon that looked with great interest at the pink toad in the room!

"Ah!" Umbridge started running on her chubby feet, stuffed into heels obviously too small for her, screaming all the way, until the fireworks dragon, which had clearly been slowed down so it wouldn't hit her immediately, decided to bite just as she crossed the Great Hall doors.

In an explosion of lights and sound, the dragon turned into a shower of sparks that crashed into all the teaching decrees hanging on the wall, burning them and causing them to fall on both sides.

Umbridge stood covered in soot, her face stunned.

The students were swept away by the events and cheered as they left the Great Hall, surrounding their current headmistress while the Weasley twins dramatically declared their departure from Hogwarts.

Barnaby saw Flitwick make a gesture and couldn't help but burst into laughter.

Oh, the twins had just made his day!

He would definitely attend the opening of their joke shop to support them.