Not Close Enough

Do you ever get an out-of-body experience where you kiss your life-long enemy, while fully

knowing that he does not want to be kissing you? Because that is exactly what I'm feeling now.

Hebron's body pressed against mine, cold armour sending shivers down my spine. It's the cold armour. It has nothing to do with how good it feels to be close to him, and definitely nothing to do with the way he's kissing me. I never expected a man like Ron to kiss so… calmly, to have lips so soft, and to taste absolutely amazing. A rough hand crawled up my shoulder, caressing it. It

borrowed in my hair and grabbed it, as he was now palming the back of my head, tilting it so he can have better access to my mouth. He suddenly pulled back, hazy golden eyes staring at me as if his thirst is not quite satisfied yet.

I was still hypnotised, his grip on me strong as he stood there, tall, big, towering over me. He

opened his mouth once again, and I expected him to dive in once more for another kiss, but a low husky voice came out of his lips instead:

'' kiss me once, then kiss me twice, then kiss me-'' he did not finish his sentence. No, I did not allow it. Because for the first time ever I slapped Hebron.

That one sentence pulled me back from under his control, I had slapped him as if I slapped myself for allowing him to get so close to me, as if this was me punishing myself through him.

I already feel it. The void, the cold, the emptiness in my chest as I stepped out of his embrace. If

only it lasted, if only I stayed there forever.

'' What the fuck is wrong with you today?'' I asked him, barely able to recognize my own voice. I sound love-drunk, meak, not the strong-willed Huaria of Tanery. So I cleared my throat, an attempt to sound more like myself. '' I… Why did you..?'' I couldn't ask. As if by not saying it outloud I can pretend it did not happen, maybe when we meet again, and we will forever see each other if things go as planned, I can look him in the eye and not recall how good it felt to be in his proximity.

'' Your highness,'' said a serious Hebron as he kneeled in front of me, his head bowing down as he kissed the hem of my dress,'' Please accept my apology, your highness. I was blinded by jealousy and could not fathom the idea of another man being near you.'' said he, his head still held low,

sounding more like the duke of Whingston than the Ron I went to the Academia with.

So this was an act? The longing gaze and warm touches, the intense, very intense feelings his kiss conveyed, they were all fake? I felt something hot and painful break behind my ribs, expanding in my chest and falling into my stomach. My jaw tensed, my eyes felt prickly. Am I about to cry in

front of him? And worse, am I about to cry because of him? It is not happening. Not today, not ever.

'' Explain yourself, immediately!'' I said loud, making sure whoever Hebron claimed was watching could hear us, afterall I do not trust my voice not to sound shaken.

'' Your highness I have no excuse, I accept any punishment you bestow upon me, I do not deserve your mercy.'' he said in a perfectly guilty-sounding voice, nailing the act of a rejected lover.

This was my cue to do as we planned, so I let out a frustrated breath, pretending to look around the halls in distress and anger. '' This could not do!'' I sounded impatient,'' You have already been informed I do not have any interest in you! What more could I say to make you believe?'' I yelled exasperated.

I looked back at Hebron, who dutifully looked at the ground in mock-shame.

I commanded him:'' Rise!'', and rise he did. He stood before me feigning self-loathing, but his lips were red, a result of my lip tint.

We looked into one another's eyes briefly, exchanged a look that said too much. I swallowed, we're close to finishing the first step of our plan. Another step towards achieving my dreams.

'' This is the last time I will make myself clear. You pledged your lieth to me, and for that I am

forever grateful, and for that the emperor and the royal family of Tanery is grateful. However this is all that is between the two of us, and I expect you to respect my boundaries. Am I understood?''

'' Yes your highness, it shall not happen again.'' he responded in a clear voice.

Feeling satisfied by how our interaction went I said:'' Excellent. I want a handwritten apology to be delivered to sir Christoffer by the end of today. Now, would you like to escort me to see lady Bridget or should I look for another knight?'' I said in an authoritative voice, carrying a glint of humour.

'' Your wish is my command, your highness.'' he said, holding out a hand to me.

I grabbed his hand and let him walk me up the stairs, as we got further from the entrance I

whispered:'' Do you think he's gone?''

'' Definitely not yet, keep holding onto me.''