Affection

"No, no no no!" I murmured to myself, sweat coated my palms as I strode down the hallway, my heartbeat fast and my head throbbing. I was on the verge of having a panic attack.  This stupid, stupid bastard had played me so well, I could not believe how easily he deceived me! 

I nervously dried my palms on my skirt and knocked on Nasir's door. Once, twice, three times and my knocking got so aggravated that my knuckles hurt. 

"Oof! Open the god-damn door Nasir!" I yelled but to no avail.

"Pardon me, your highness." I turned to find a young maid with a basket addressing me, "Are you perhaps looking for his highness your brother?" 

I stood taller and fixed my posture, embarrassed to be caught losing my temper on a door, "Yes, yes I am." I told her in a tight, strange voice. 

"I saw his highness leave his quarters early this morning and never have I seen him return. Would you like me to find him, your highness?" she asked hesitantly. 

Quarters, she said? his room barely qualifies as a suite. I quickly dismissed her with a gesture of my hand, "it's alright." , yet she did not move nor did she speak again. 

I regarded her once more, was she waiting for my permission to leave? "Spit it out." I commanded, yet she was still reluctant to speak, she must be waiting for a bribe in exchange for her words. "You either speak, or I'll have your skin made into a leather pouch. Choose." 

She shifted her weight from one leg to another, apparently growing uncomfortable with the weight of the basket in her hands. What did she carry inside? Laundry? Bedsheets? Food, perhaps?

She glanced around for good measure then stepped closer to me. I  took a step back, wary of her, then clutched the knife in my belt for protection. She still had her hands on the basket's handles as she approached me again. 

The young maid, who appeared to be in her late teens, jerked her head toward the basket. I gave her a confused look but she only nodded. Carefully and while keeping my eyes on her and my right hand on my waist I lifted the cover. 

"Bedsheets?" I asked her. Why is she showing me this? 

"We have the best bedsheets in Leini, your highness. Even before the trade development happened, we were mass-producers for the finest bedsheets in the whole continent." 

I only stared at her, wondering why I had to know such a thing. 

"In fact, your highness, my mother had personally sewn the silk one, yes this one!" she said as I pulled out a smooth fabric from her basket. "In fact, I think you should use these tonight! I heard they're the secret to having beautiful shiny hair."

"What on earth are you-" I stopped mid sentence. The fabric in my hand crunched.

"I see. Thank you for your suggestion. I will definitely use it." I patted her on the shoulder as I passed her on my way to my room. 

Once I reached my room, I made sure to lock the door and close the thick curtains. I sat by the fireplace as I opened the fabric, a small letter I had found. Expecting it to be my father's reply I hurriedly opened it, a small paper fell as I regarded the opened envelope in my hand:

" Ria dearest, 

 I write to you in regards to your latest inventions. As per usual, your intelligence had captured the attention of everyone, including your beloved nemesis on the warfront. 

I am well, if you ever wondered about my wellbeing. I have been injured twice, nothing grave, and I recovered quickly to join my comrades again. I would ask you about how you're adjusting, but I know you adjust well. You're a smart woman, and you can find your people wherever you go. I would ask you about how you are, but I already know. You are angry and upset, and I do not blame you one bit. It was not my plan to disappear on you for such a long period, yet circumstances came between us, and I am damned for not being near you. 

Forgive this soldier's words, I blame the misery and hunger to have such an effect on my emotions. As you know, I am not a man who complains or frets over his loved ones, if they exist, yet this war had me thinking: Would you cry if I were to return dead? 

I adopted this belief, now that I had time to spare with blood and hunger and tiresome sleepless nights, I believe that every man should have someone to return to. 

Would a man with no family or lover fight like one with someone to protect? Certainly not.

 So allow me, my dear, to think of you whenever I think of home, to have you in my heart whenever I wield a sword, and to have my cold corpse returned to your warm embrace. 

My words may confuse you, I am aware. It has only been a few weeks since our last meeting, yet I am writing to you like a fervent man would write to his lover. I wish to live long enough to convey my words to you personally, until then, wait for me. 

Now that we have that out of the way, let's talk about your invention again. 

This letter could not convey the admiration I have for you and your brilliance. You have written and executed an excellent plan to infiltrate the Esterian market. It was a smart move on your part to start with the people of Leini since it is the capital of trade in my beloved Esteria. I praise your choice of design and materials. 

However, and despite your best efforts to handle such a big project, I am sad to know you chose to omit your plans from me. As a consequence, I was informed by Lord Rawclaw, who sent a messenger carrying the good news of a great partnership with her royal highness, the most beautiful of them all, princess El-Huaria of Tanery. I am glad to know that your family took it well, and that your business is prospering.

Unfortunately, this was not the only letter I had received in regards to you and your invention. About a week ago, I was approached by a relative to Lady Rawclaw by the name of Emily, I believe the two of you have met. She had offered me the blueprints of your work with a good price.

evidently I had accepted her offer, I had pretended to agree and kept her around for a while, conducting a search to know more of her intentions, and she did not appear to be a clever one, to be frank. 

Attached to my letter, you will find a list of the people you can use to contact me. I have more and more to tell you, yet no amount of time in your company would suffice me. 

Write to me. 

Your Knight,

H.W   "