18

Cameron

As Jayden parks the car in the garage driveway, the house is shrouded in darkness. Even though I know everyone will find out about what happened at the party tomorrow, I cross my fingers that I don't wake anyone up tonight. As I untie Adeline to get her out of the car, Jayden steps ahead of me and takes her in his arms.

He seems to appreciate his role as big brother more than he lets on!

House keys in hand, I use my phone to light the way to the front door.

The house is quiet, and despite the lingering stress, we try our best not to make any noise.

"She'll sleep with you tonight," Jayden whispers as he climbs the stairs to the second floor. "She won't remember anything in the morning. She'll feel safer waking up with you, and you'll have to explain."

He enters my room and gently puts Adeline on the bed.

"Give me one of your T-shirts," he asks me calmly.

I quickly rummage through my closet and find an old piece of fabric I haven't worn in years, thinking he'll use it as a rag for something, and I'm completely stunned when I realize he's going to put it on her. Damn, I can't even imagine how I'm going to explain this to her tomorrow: "Listen, yesterday Jayden came to help you. Not only did he make you vomit, but he also undressed you. Nothing serious, I assure you, you can go back to sleep." She's going to kill me.

"Help me, please," he says to me as he struggles to remove her top, as disoriented as she is.

"Would Jayden White have trouble getting a girl undressed?" I joke, trying to lighten the bizarre atmosphere.

"Shut up!"

Seeing my dismayed expression, he finally replies, jokingly:

"In general, they're a little more receptive and willing."

A half-smile appears on his lips, but I can tell his heart isn't in it.

Once Adeline is under the covers, Jayden carefully places the dirty clothes on the chair by my desk before returning to the bed.

"Can you get a bottle of water?" he asks me kindly.

Silently, I leave the room and head downstairs to the kitchen. I'm not sure if it's like after smoking a joint, but it's true that she might be thirsty when she wakes up. With the bottle in my hand, I tiptoe back up the stairs. The last thing we need is for our parents to wake up. I'd rather deal with the situation myself before talking to them about it. To be honest, I'm most afraid of Henri's reaction. He can be sweet, but when it comes to his daughters, he's uncompromising.

When I reach the door, I decide not to enter the room immediately. I move discreetly and stay a little back, suddenly overcome by the urge to spy on Jay. I'm just wondering how he behaves with Adeline when I'm not around. Is his sudden concern real, or is he acting like this because he knows he's being watched? I look into the room: Jay is sitting on the edge of the bed, gently placing a hand on Adeline's forehead. Slowly he moves his fingers along her cheek, brushing against her lips and lingering on the hair that falls down her neck. From the side, I have a perfect view of his tense face. At that moment, Tyler's words echo in my head and all the pieces of the puzzle fall into place. How could I have been so blind? Feeling a little unsettled, I lean against the door and cross my arms over my chest.

"How long has this been going on?"

He may be surprised by my question, but his entire body remains stone-faced, showing no emotion. Jayden in all his glory.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he replies as calmly as possible before standing up.

"Save it. I admit you've done a great job, Jayden - the contempt, the coldness, the distance."

Standing on the other side of the bed, he buries his hands in the front pockets of the sweatpants he must have put on in a hurry in the middle of the night. Impassive, he lets me speak, never taking his eyes off me, even when his phone rings.

"Well, it seems so logical now that I don't understand how I could have missed it."

"You don't know anything."

He takes his hands out of his pockets and walks around the bed to leave the room. Before he can get past me, I block his path, giving him one last chance to confirm what I've said.

"Does she know?"

He turns his head to the bed where Adeline sleeps peacefully.

"That's nobody's business but mine," he says quietly before leaving the room.

I watch him leave, aware of his partial confession.

"Where are you going?" I whisper as he heads for the stairs instead of back to bed.

A minute later I hear the front door slam.

What the hell is he doing?

***

"You're reckless, I swear!"

Henri shouts in the kitchen, while my mother sits on a stool near the table.

"And you didn't think it was necessary to wake us?" she adds more calmly.

"This is absurd!"

Henri waved his arms as he raised his voice. I leaned against the counter, not daring to face the angry figure speaking to me. Jayden was sitting next to our mother, his arms hidden under the table.

"She just needed to sleep", he replies calmly.

"How do you know?" replies Henri. "Are you a doctor?"

"No, but I assumed it was for the best after she vomited."

"Guessed? We're talking about my daughter's life, young man."

"I looked it up on the Internet and... I start."

"No, she needs to see a real doctor," he interrupts, his laughter tinged with bitterness.

"Your car is still at Tyler's", Jayden confesses.

"Then lend me yours," Henri replies, still tense.

My brother stood up and took his keys out of the door and handed them to our stepfather.

"What happened to your hands?" our mother asks him in a choked voice.

I frown at the red, swollen marks that have appeared on Jayden's knuckles. She rushes to touch his fingers, but he stops her and shoves his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants.

"I told you I had the situation under control," he says as firmly as he can.

Stunned, my mother is speechless and quickly turns her face to Henri, waiting for him to speak. The kitchen was once again filled with a heavy silence that no one dared to break. My stepfather, impassive, looked at my brother for several minutes before leaving the room and going upstairs. We all stood facing each other until he came back down with Adeline. She looks completely lost. I haven't had a chance to explain what happened to her last night, and I feel terrible for leaving her in the dark.

"Are you okay, Adeline?" I ask in the kitchen doorway.

She slowly turns to face me, her face tired, and just nods as she pulls on a jacket.

"Later, Cameron," Henri adds.

He opens the front door and disappears with his daughter, closely followed by my mother, who sighs heavily and looks at us with a stern expression. Within seconds, the front door slams shut, leaving me alone with my brother, who hasn't moved a muscle.

"Do you think we should have taken her to the hospital?" I ask him in a low voice.

"Maybe," he shrugs before heading for the fridge, "but I don't think she ate much of it."

He acts as if he doesn't care, even though his behavior the night before proves otherwise. I make no comment, preferring to wait for him to realize on his own that acting indifferent might not be the best course of action.

"How do you know all this?"

"I have friends who take it. Before it became known as a rapist's drug, it was a drug that made you feel good."

"Like?"

My eyes never leave the reddish cracks that have formed on his phalanges as he drains his glass of orange juice in one gulp before placing it in the sink.

"The well-being... Euphoria too," he says.

"Have you ever tried it?" I ask.

"Getting high has never been my thing. I'm just relaying the information I've been given," he replies, both hands pressed against the table and his eyes averted, creating a surrounding silence.

"About yesterday," he blurts out, "about what you said... I'd like to keep it between us."

"Why didn't you tell me before?" I ask.

"It wouldn't have made any difference," he answers.

"Is that why you never came home?" I ask, becoming increasingly aware of the signals he is sending us.

He just nods.

"And would you have come back if you hadn't been fired?" I wonder aloud.

"Maybe not for so many days," he admits.

"By the way, are you planning on telling me what happened to get you kicked out?" I ask quickly, taking advantage of our current confession session.

He chuckles nervously before flinching and running his hand down his throat.

"I got into a fight with a guy at a party. He was bothering a friend of mine, and the punch just happened," he explains.

"Why did it escalate to the attention of the university administration?" I inquire.

"It happened on campus, at a fraternity party," he admits.

"Not a smart move," I grumble.

"Don't worry, Mom did the scolding part," he adds with a wink.

"And what about this?" I point at his fingers and he immediately clenches his fists and stuffs them into his pockets.

"Let's just say it was my duty as a big brother. And don't worry, the guy won't say anything."

He shrugs and gives me a knowing smile before changing the subject to the latest video game to come out. It's a classic move from my brother; opening up too much is clearly not his style. Though his confession should surprise me, I'm far from shocked. It's as if his behavior over the past few years finally makes sense, and deep down I've always understood it. His reluctance and silence when she was around, his defensiveness and sometimes his meanness... I should have realized that it was his way of pushing her away, and now that he has confirmed it in his own way...

It feels really weird to me.