24

Adeline

- Sure you don't want to come?

- Sure, go ahead!

Cameron stands in the doorway and looks at me indecisively. We had planned to spend the evening together, but he got called to a party at Tyler's friend's house at the last minute. Honestly, I'm lying on the couch in my pajamas, I've already gotten the ice cream out of the freezer, and I really want to finish the movie we just started.

- You're not going to stay here alone, are you?

- Why not?

- You look pathetic with your blanket and your ice cream. You look like you've just been dumped.

He makes fun of me and I can't help laughing. No, I'm far from being dumped, because that would require me to be with someone. As it is, I am more single than ever. In fact, I think my lack of motivation to go out has more to do with the fact that Jayden came back tonight before disappearing just as quickly, I don't know where. I think I'm in a semi-depressed phase, unable to find the strength to see people when the only person my heart wants to be with is gone.

- The parents will be back soon, don't worry.

- Don't count on it, he chuckles. Too bad for you, you can't say I didn't invite you.

With these words, he crosses the living room to plant a kiss on my cheek, then disappears through the front door. In a split second, the house is plunged into a dead silence, weighed down by the surrounding darkness. Only a halo of light emanates from the television, which begs to be turned back on. While everyone was here a few hours ago, I am now completely alone. My stepmother left right after dinner to deal with an urgent file and chased my father away, who had invited himself to a football evening at a colleague's house. He took my little sister to a friend's house to spend the night. Tomorrow is her big day, she has her school dance at the end of the year, and as stressed as she is, she wanted to sleep at a friend's house to prepare mentally. So here I am, alone with myself, slumped on the couch like a lost soul.

It's already the second movie I've watched and no one has sent me a message or shown up yet.

Nice evening alone. Maybe I should have followed Cameron...

I finally decide to go up to my room, but I barely make it to my bed when I hear noises at the door lock. I look at the screen of my phone and see that it's already 1:30 in the morning. Mia really is a workaholic. I'm about to crawl under the covers when loud noises and cursing from downstairs stop me.

Shit, that's not Mia.

- Cameron, is that you already? I try in a shaky voice.

Another curse reaches my ears, followed by heavy footsteps on the stairs. Considering the difficulty the intruder is having climbing the stairs, I can easily imagine how drunk he is. I turn on the light in the hallway and see a completely drunk Jayden. His hair seems to have been in a fierce battle, with many rebellious strands falling across his forehead. His shirt is partially open, revealing a tanned brown patch of skin that leaves me speechless, and when he looks up at me, a huge smile crosses his face. A pleasant feeling has crept into my stomach since he burst into the hallway. I think it's official, the void has just been filled. He manages to reach me and buries his head in my neck while wrapping his arms around my hips.

- Oh, my beauty...

Calm down, Adeline, he's been drinking, he probably doesn't know what he's doing...

I try to push him away gently, without being too forceful, but he doesn't let go and presses his mouth to my neck. I try again to push him away from my body, even though my legs are weak, I'm out of breath, and all I want to do is hold him close. After a few seconds, he finally stands up and stares into my eyes.

- Did I tell you how much I missed you?

I can't help but hope he means it, even though deep down I know I shouldn't. His red eyes and the smell of rum emanating from his body tell me a lot about his condition.

- How many drinks have you had? I try to keep some distance from him.

He's standing against the wall, smiling and shrugging his shoulders as if it doesn't matter and my question was stupid.

- I see, I sigh. You should go to bed.

- You want to get rid of me already?

He crosses his arms, towering over me as he tilts his head to the side. His mischievous smile makes butterflies flutter in my stomach, but I try to be as aloof as possible. He's three sheets to the wind.

- You're drunk, I say contemptuously.

I've never seen him like this and I expected better for a reunion. I hoped for better. I'm stupid.

- So what? He never hurt anyone.

He moves toward me, barely holding on to the wall next to us.

- It was close, he says, laughing as he falls on top of me.

Charming.

- Go to bed, Jayden.

Joy has turned to frustration and I just want to get out of here before I say things I'll regret tomorrow. To say that he's an idiot who plays with my feelings by telling me I'm beautiful and that he misses me when he can barely stand and won't remember any of it tomorrow. To say that I hate him for everything he does, will do... or doesn't do. That he's blind to how he's shaking up my world and that he's the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

I'm annoyed to be in his company, so I decide to leave him in the hallway and go back to my room and slam the door in his face. But as I turn my back, he grabs my wrist and pulls me toward him. He holds me against the wall. Framed by his arms and engulfed by the muscles of his chest, I struggle to breathe, the rum fumes having no effect on me. He's more beautiful than ever, and images from a few weeks ago flood my mind. Sensations, a smell, his mouth. My eyes go to his lips and before I can even realize that we shouldn't stay like this, he kisses me.

My heart stops.

My stomach twists and turns.

His hot mouth pressed against mine intoxicates all my senses. His kiss is raw, devastating and tastes of alcohol. I cling to his shoulders, unsure if my legs can hold me up as his tongue finds its way to mine. He pushes himself closer to me, making it very clear that he has an erection that is hardening against my lower abdomen. With all my senses on high alert, I finally realize that he is not in his right mind at all. His ragged breath mixes with mine and the frantic beating of my heart echoes the pounding against his chest. But he has just been out with his friends and moments ago he almost bumped into me. He is drunk. He won't remember what he just did. I firmly push him away and avoid any contact.

We should never have done this.

I run a finger over my lips, unable to relieve the pressure between my thighs or catch my breath. Jayden is in a similar state. His hair disheveled, he stares at me, confused.

"Did I hurt you?" he asks.

I shake my head and watch as he closes his eyes, looking completely lost.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"I drank too much," he laughs, and it doesn't help to ease the pain in my heart. It was a really stupid thing to do. Today and for the last time. But now it will be even harder to resist, to forget, to pretend it never happened.

Anyway, he's really drunk and he should be in bed right now.

"Come here!" I order him gently, trying to hide my unease.

Then I put my arm around his waist and let him put his around my shoulder. All right, he shouldn't lean on me too much - I might not be able to take that much muscle weight.

"You're taking me to your bed?" he asks.

I stifle a laugh as he gives me a mischievous look, then shake my head, causing him to groan. The fire between my legs intensifies as images of what happened just a few steps away materialize in my mind.

I will only help him into bed. Nothing more.

I push those memories aside and manage to make it to the second floor with some difficulty. We enter his room and I make him sit on his bed while I kneel at his feet. I begin to undo his shoelaces, my eyes running up to his face. A mischievous look crossed his pupils and a small smile formed on his lips.

"You want to get serious now?" he asks.

I give him a light tap on the knee, which makes him laugh heartily.

My heart races.

"Get up, you have to take all that off," I choke out.

I gesture at his clothes and a strange gleam comes into his eyes while my cheeks flush.

"For sleeping, Jayden. You'll be more comfortable without them."

He unbuttons his shirt agonizingly slowly, then slides them down his arms. I stare at him, completely mesmerized by the sight. Shouldn't I leave? Let him go to bed alone? I shouldn't be here while he's undressing and after what's just happened... the fire in me ignites and I cross my legs to try and soothe the sensation, but to no avail. As he reaches for his belt buckle, I see him stagger and rush over to support him. A thousand shivers spread from the tips of my hair to the ends of my toes as I touch his skin. It is soft, warm, tanned, muscular... may my soul rest in peace.

"Oops, I think I'm having trouble staying upright," he chuckles.

"Better keep the jeans on tonight."

Unable to take them off myself without losing what little dignity I have left, I gently push him under the covers and let him collapse onto the mattress.

"It's funny, the last time I was in this state with a girl..."

He lets out a long sigh of satisfaction and closes his eyes without finishing his sentence. Stung, I lean forward to gently shake his shoulder and make him open his eyes. I shouldn't read too much into what he almost said, but it's stronger than me.

"The last time you were in this state," I encourage him to continue, as curious as I am worried that his answer might displease me.

"It was with your friend," he continues in a confused murmur.

Did he just say "my friend"? Which friend? Did he spend the evening alone with the girls? completely taken aback, I no longer hold back and shake him vigorously.

"What are you talking about, what friend?" I almost attack him.

He exhaled and opened his eyes slightly to meet mine. A limp hand comes to rest on my cheek, then runs down my ear before coming to rest on my collarbone.

"I never should have slept with her," he admits in a slurred voice before closing his eyes wearily.

He sighs with satisfaction while I seethe inside. I don't understand what he's saying.

"Who are you talking about, Jayden?" I start to get annoyed when I realize he's falling asleep. "If you slept with one of my girlfriends, give me her name."

"It was a mistake. With Esther," he continues in a low growl, as if talking to himself, completely ignoring my presence.

I recoil abruptly, causing his arm to fall to his chest with a thud. I hear him moan, but not distracted, he keeps his eyes closed. The regular rhythm of his breathing and the movements of his abdomen clearly indicate that he has just fallen asleep, leaving me completely confused. He slept with Esther? My Esther? Oh, damn it.