looking back (jay)

This was it. The day before my family were to arrive in Nabula and I stood on the balcony thinking it over. We had discussed it at length, my family and me and the others. Most of them couldn't make it but my brother Addison and my eldest sister Helen said they could come stay with their kids for a few days. My nieces, I thought with a sigh, imagining the next time I stood here would be with them, showing them where and what we were.

'Nebulas Rise'. I thought the name would catch on. Perhaps it still will, I thought, standing where I'd stood many times before, looking out across the city's tall buildings that didn't quite reach eye level from up here. Nabula had never been a large city but its buildings were always pretty big. When I'd first heard of it, I thought this base might at least make it more important. Right now, it seems like the most important place on earth. The only line of defence. I'd stood right on this spot so often before, so why did this time seem so different? Maybe because of the thought of showing my family around here. The thought of my family showing up here. That had never happened before.

"You'll catch a cold if you stay out here too often." I turned to see Maggie leaning against the doorway.

"In the middle of summer." I said, truing back towards the city.

"Even in summer it starts to get cold once the sun goes down."

I looked up at the darkening sky. So what? I've been out past dark before.

"You should get some rest. You've got a big day tomorrow."

I groaned, rolling my eyes. Alright, you win. Begrudgingly, I went back inside, letting her close the door behind me.

"You nervous?"

"No." I lied. then added "Maybe a little." When I saw her raise an eyebrow.

My father used to call me every day when I first came here. The last time I'd seen my family was for my brothers' wedding. They'd sent me an invite and a ticket for my birthday. We had gone to them that time. That had been before the war, before I even knew about the Tru-beins. I'd found out about them while I was there but the war hadn't started till much later. Even contact with them had been less since then and this time, they were coming here, to us. They hadn't done that before.

"It's only to be expected."

I was trying not to look Maigge in the eye. She had as much made this possible as anyone else. She'd been the one to suggest it after all.

"You've never met them." I suddenly realised.

She shook her head, her fluffy ears swaying slightly as she did. "Nope. But I've heard an awful lot of stories." It suddenly occurred to me that she might be even more nervous than I was. "Do you think they'll like me?" she asked.

I shrugged, humming in a way that meant 'who knows'.

Even after going to bed, seeing Sam already sound asleep, throwing myself onto my bed, laying on my back I still thought this would be yet another sleepless night. At least there was no real danger this time. No missing friends, no imminent inspections, just anticipation for what might happen, a mix of joy and nerves.

It was past midnight before I finally decided to give up and get up. When I left the room, I noticed from the crack under her door, the light in Thias room was still on. When I knocked, it swung open slightly. She was sitting up in bed reading a book. If only I enjoyed books as much as she does. Her eyes flicked towards me when the door moved, a smile on her face. I smiled back. "That the underdogs book I keep hearing about?"

She nodded. "I'm on the second book now!" she declared, happily.

"And if you're really gonna make us watch that movie when it comes out, could maybe give us a hint as to what happens?"

"Mmm…No." She grinned, wickedly. "Spoilers."

I hmphed. "Whatever."

I let her finish reading, waiting for her to put the book down before I asked her "Do you remember when we went over for Adies wedding?"

She nodded. "That was when I first got into Star Trek. You came into my room while I was watching it."

"We stayed up most of the night watching it."

"Tiana was sharing a room with me. She woke up just once as we were watching. I don't think she even noticed you were there."

We both laughed, then Thia jumped up from her bed. "Actually." She went towards the cupboard. "I don't think I've show you this."

Opening the doors, she took out what I recognised as a large D.V.D boxset. "Dad got me this for my birthday. Remember when we went to the Wizarding world?"

"Yeah, you didn't think it was possible."

She was smiling fondly at the set in her arm. "I'm guessing you can't sleep either, so how about we watch it again, like we did that night."

Back when everything was fine. "Sure, why not."

So, we spent the last hours of the night re-watching Deep Space Nine, not even getting past the first season. We may have fallen asleep while watching which may also have been something we did the first time we watched it.

Lying awake as the sky was getting lighter, hearing the show still playing in the background, I found myself wishing I had a time machine. That I could go back to the days when things were better.