Chapter - 62

CONTINUED FROM THE LAST PART.....

Me: (Rubbing the back of my neck) Umm I don't know from were should I start?

Asher: (Smiling) Hmmm why not you begin from the start, you know from your childhood days.

Me: Ohhh okay. Well, I used to be the normal average child, someone who is more interested in books rather than studies. 

Asher: (Humming, encouraging me to continue) Hmmm hmm.

Me: (Looking at my fingers that are on my lap) The moment I start knowing or understanding things, straightforwardness and practicality become my life approach. In short, either things are right for me or they are wrong but nothing comes in between, I have grown up in a joint family where you know how things work.

Asher: (With a warm smile on her face) Yeah in such families, you grow up with lots of love, care and affection.

Me: (Internally, I am like don't know where such loving caring and affectionate families exist plus what she is talking about) Ohh umm yeah you can say that but I am talking about other thing which is.. all of the family members seems to be so busy that they rarely got some time to spend with me. In short, I literally brought myself up.

Asher: (In understanding and concern tone) Ohhh all of them must be working, right? I can understand that, living with working families or parents can be really hard.

Me: Yeah. well, I thought growing up like this could be hard but things completely changed when I start going to high school. There I come face to face with many other fellow students, who later become my friends. Some of them were in good habits and some of them were not but it doesn't matter to me because I enjoyed my best with them.

Asher: (A little excitedly) That's pretty cool, what happened next?

Me: (Chuckling out a little) The a storm enter inside my life.

Asher: (Confused) What do you mean?

Me: Hmm during that time I met a boy name Erik, I found pain in his eyes and don't know why but I just thought to bring smile on his face and make it my aim to do so. However, this thought or aim of mine soon become my obsession and the journey of my destruction begun with this. I sacrificed my little happiness or peace for his one smile.

Asher: (Curiously) And after that?

Me: (Looking down at my lap, start playing with my fingers) He being possessive, manipulator... he unknowingly used me and even though, I was not happy because technically I am doing all these against my will but you know just a single smile from him, making me doing everything for him. 

Asher: (Humming, encouraging me to continue) Hmmm

Me: He was into drinking, smoking and abusing drugs, gradually I become the part of it too but I just choose to drink only and just for the sake of his one smile only. Well, one day in the name of joke, he kept a empty alcohol bottle inside my bag and when I reach back home, mother find it out then she showed it to father. 

Asher: O shit, you must have been scolded bad on this?

Me: (Chuckling out lightly) I guess scolded was understatement. That day they told me that how I break their trust, how I cheated them and how I misused their freedom. You know that day I come to know that they have expectations from me, they cared for me and other than this I remained confused about some things like, how I actually did this?

Asher: Ohhh but why didn't you told them, it was not yours rather its belong to Erik?

Me: I tried hard, like really hard to let them know that I was not at fault but they just keep on saying, how I break their trust, cheated and misused their freedom. Well, my life turned upside down from this time.

Before we could say anything else, the four toppers enter inside the tent with their plates and glasses. Seeing them, we both got silent and watch them carefully settling down on their beddings. Once done, the look up at us with raise eyebrows in confusion and in reply we just shrug our shoulders and look somewhere else. 

Soon Michiko & Carissa too enter inside the tents then start settling down on their beddings and we peacefully watch them doing so. Soon all of them got busy doing something else, I mean either they are doing something on phone or reading a book. After a minute we also lay down and start talking again in low voice...

Asher: (Voice filled with concern yet somewhere curiosity was there too) What happened after that?

Me: Well, after this incident too, nothing changed in me. On regular basis I keep getting drown with my obsession of Erik, drinking become almost normal, once I tried drug too and I failed in one the exam too so, I got a year back. On the other hand, the behaviour of the family, which was not good before, has now become even worse but I didn't care about myself because my madness was enough for me... what all mattered to me to make him smile or laugh for once.

Asher: (Humming) Does this obsession or madness or obsession of yours never faded or stopped, at any point?

Me: Actually it does happened, when I started working in different hospitals as an inter because those were the days when we don't have to go to schools. You know almost school passed out type but just have to appear for an failed exam.

Asher: Yeah okay.

Me: So basically hospital duties caught me up for the whole day, even though I was working in the psychology department as an intern only but still, work load was no less and because of all this only I was not getting enough time to spend with Erik. Well, sometimes it make me feel a little sad but you know I got busy in learning something new.

Asher: Yeah I heard this in one of our lecture only, if your are addicted, habitual or obsessed with something which is not good at all then starting doing something new because it can actually help you to stop doing that old one, even though it seems to be difficult to do but this can be really helpful sometimes.

Me: Yeah right but at that time I was just at learning phase so, I was not aware of this fact. Well, Erik doesn't like this behaviour of mine, on regular basis he will complain to me that I am not giving time to him or what so important I am doing that I don't talk to him or spend time with him. In short you can say that, most of the time we keep fighting.

Asher: Hmmm I can understand. You know, it was bound to happen because you always give time to him but suddenly become busy so, him feeling like this is okay.

Me: I know but no matter how hard I tried to explain him, that what my work is now? how much time taking it is? but he never understood it because all he cared about at that time was.. himself.

Asher: Ohhh I guess sometimes we have too much expectations from others or we become so much self centred that we don't understand other person.

Me: Hmmm but how unfair is this. Well, me being idiot, I take this lightly and tried my best to give him time in between my shifts too but things doesn't work out that well. Out of nowhere, one day we met and there he asked me for some money because he need to purchase some clothes, as he is going to join a job but his mother is not ready to help him in this.

Asher: And did you give it?

Me: Yeah, I give it from my savings which I saved to host a small birthday party for mother because he told me that he will give me back so, in this hope I give him two thousand.

Asher: Ohh did you ever get back.

Me: No I never get them back. Well, soon we both got busy in our works but we do try to talk at least one time in the whole, however, to be honest I was the one who text first most of the time. 

Asher: Ohhh it seems he has a big ego.

Me: Yeah no doubt. One day one of the married intern colleague asked me to accompany him to a bar but I politely declined it and I thought to tell this to Erik but when I told him he misunderstood me. He give me an advice to take protection with me while meeting that person and blamed me saying I am going to destroy a married man house.

Asher: But you sad no to that person right?

Me: Yeah I know and I even try to explain him but he didn't even listen to me once, by the end of day he literally be humiliated me on social media calling me a whore. And even though I was the one whose self respected got ruined in this but I keep apologising for some days repeatedly.

Asher: Ohhh what happened after that?

Me: He never talked to me after that, for what like a month I tried to talk to him and one day he finally blocked me. After that I become depressed, I got lost in my own dark world and now here I am.

Asher: Ohhh okay. I think we should sleep now, it quite late now and we have to get up at five in the morning.

Me: Yeah okay.

After this, both of us got lost in the world of our thoughts and I don't know when I fall asleep. Maybe after saying these things I felt so relieved that I just fell asleep. 

Well, next day I wakeup hearing ring beside my right ear and without sitting up, I lazily move my hand towards the sound. Soon I found Asher's mobile then I realise its her alarm ringtone, I finally close it then I get up and start waking her up because its five in the morning so, we need to get ready as early as possible. 

After exactly ten minutes she wake up, then we both stand up and with our fresh pair of clothes, tooth brush, paste & towel we move out of the tent but not before wearing our sweatshirt because morning is slight cool here. Soon, Carissa & Michiko too started to follow our steps, well, I guess with Asher's alarm they too wake up.

Upon reaching inside the washroom area (which was actually quite big, it more like a hostel treatment where almost twenty two thirty students can get ready together but for now only we four are here), soon we start getting fresh. At some point a moment come where only Carissa was inside in one of the cabins and we three outside, about to brush our teeth but out of sudden Michiko come close to us and whisper something to us. Hearing that, Asher say not to it but I said yes and we start doing it, while Asher keep looking at us..

So, basically without making any noise I walk towards the switch board and close the light of the cabin in which Carissa is sitting then Michiko go and stand beside the cabin, making sure her feet cannot be seen by her. On the other hand seeing that only her cabin light goes off, Carissa start getting nervous plus panic and with shaky voice she one by one call our names but we choose not to speak up but Asher wanted to so, we literally pleaded her to keep quite.

After likely five minutes Michiko speak up in little fake man voice....

Michiko: (In almost man voice) How are you my deeeaaarrrr Carissa?

Hearing this, me & Asher start laughing by placing our hands on our mouth so that she does not hear our voices.

Carissa: (From inside the cabin only, with shaky voice) Who are you and what do you want? Where are my friends?

Michiko: (With same voice) O really, your friends. (Now with her normal voice) Well, they are brushing their teeth bro, chillax.

Within seconds, she open the door and come out with angry expressions, seeing this we started laughing hard, holding our stomachs. And in anger plus frustration she, literally jumped on Michiko to beat her but since Michiko is body builder type, she almost squeezed Carissa.

Carissa: (Almost scream in pain) Aaahh!!! Oww leave me!!!

To her rescue I took a step forward but Michiko leave her, rolling her eyes at her and started speaking...

Michiko: Huhhh now I didn't even hold you so hard that you screamed like this.

Carissa: What kind of joke is this, how can you scare me like? What if I got a heart attack?

Me: Well, to be honest it wasn't a joke, it was actually a prank.

Carissa: (Rolling her eyes) Whatever, I don't want to talk to you guys.

After this she just ran away from there, we started laughing again for what seems like ten minutes. It took all of us almost forty minutes to get ready, once done we walk inside the tent and then lay down on our beddings again. Soon all of the others students too waking up, start getting ready and around six fifty five in the morning we hear a siren sound, we get up then start following the steps of other students. The moment all students gathered up, the coaches asked us to twenty laps of the ground and we started with jogging.

The moment our laps finished, the coaches asked us to move towards the dining hall to eat our breakfast. Almost all of the students walk fast, start settling down there but except me and Asher as we keep walking lazily. Well, its been so long when I used to be physically active person and on the other side is Asher who is more like hibernating bear. Soon we enter inside and settled down beside Savannah & Carissa respectively.

After our breakfast we headed towards the auditorium to attend the orientation program of this camp, this program goes on two hours and we learned what this camp is all about, how much military training is important for a person to attend no matter what their profession is, how does it help in medical or hospital line and what kind of activities we will be doing from next day onwards.

Just like this our first day passed and for once I am at peace, may be sharing my past story or may be me being away from the family or may be being close to nature is the reason behind this but I am feeling so much relaxed. And I am now really looking forwards to have great days ahead in this week.