CHAPTER 19

I took a cab and reached the airport, done with formality, and in no time I was on the plane. By everything, I was totally exhausted. After a few minutes, I was feeling starving. I had a sandwich and organ juice. As seconds passed, I was getting to my regular self, like totally normal, where realization hit. That was my case. I started sweating.

I placed a hand on my face. Oh god, I am a fucking rapist, and on top of it, I didn't rape an ordinary person; it was Scott Mathew, who was a billionaire and CEO. I was in dismay, dread, fright, and fear. Every emotion engulfed me at once, and I slapped my cheek so hard just to confirm. My co-passenger was also worried about what I was doing and asked me if everything was okay, like, hell, it was. My legs were shaking like they were not in my control. I tried so much to stop shaking, but it was of no use. I was sweating and cursing myself.

I am a bloody animal. I was not myself. A few minutes ago, some animal was taken over by me, and for a few hours, I couldn't control myself. What the hell have I done? How can I do something like that? My life was totally fucked. I am done with my life.

The incident that took place in the suit was hitting my mind scene by scene: his helplessness, his tears, his scream of not being able to bear the pain. I am a bloody fucking animal in the form of a human, and what reason have I got to defend my irrational, senseless, and unreasonable behavior? What I had done was not forgivable, no matter what. I am a bloody monster. My whole body was shaking. I was not able to sit in my seat. What the hell am I going to do now, and how the hell am I going to face him if anyone in my company comes to know, Oh god, they will skin me alive?

After reaching, I applied for a week's leave, thoroughly needing to think about my next step, the possibilities that he was going to do to me, my survival rate, how many days I had in my hand, and what I needed to do now.

The best solution to this problem was to escape. I mean, running away to any unknown country or island and hiding, changing your name, starting over, again starting from scratch, which required money. How the hell can I escape when my bank balance is not up to par? And by using his power, if he digs me out, things will only get worse. My escaping will be like adding more oil to the flame; surely, I will be buried alive.

Where the hell am I going to face him? Is it in prison or a hospital? Based on what I have done, the chances of meeting him in the hospital are higher. If I recover, maybe I will end up in prison, if I recover.

If he thinks of doing the same thing, then I may get kidnapped by thugs or any murderer, and they will not let me die easily, obviously raping, raping, raping, leading to a miserable death. Probably Scott does not even care about burying my body, for sure. What other possibilities may he think of other than these? Why the hell did I lose myself and mess everything up like this?

For a whole week, I didn't leave my apartment; I was not able to face myself, and I was thinking about my miserable coming days. I don't want to die miserable or in any way suffer; if things get beyond my hands, then I am going to kill myself. Yeah, that's better. I should carry a synod or something that will cause immediate death.

It had already been six days since I left France, and I had not received any calls from Scott or his lawyer. No cops showed up on my doorstep, which was not a good sign.

Things went out of hand, which made me realize I carry a beast within me, which also showed the beast within me should never be unleashed. On the other hand, anyone can bear anything to a certain extent when something is triggered within us; unknowingly, our rage consumes our sanity and turns us into a beast. Now I carry the title of rapist. I am not defending myself; if he had shown some sympathy and treated me as human, these things would never have happened. I am not in a position where I cannot justify myself; things went out of my hand, and I cannot change anything, and whatever is waiting for me, I have to embrace it without a second thought.

I must ask his forgiveness, for which I need to face him, but I don't have the guts to do the same; his face will always be a display of insanity in my life. For a whole week, I was locked up in my flat, not eating properly or drinking, not interested in doing anything; my mind was a mess. Until now, I was not able to accept what I did to Scott or my life coming days if I got any. It was already Monday. I needed to go to work only for a week. I had applied for leave. Oh god, how the hell was I going to face Scott?