Part 12

"Hoshii, what did you talk about with Kasumi after I left?"

School is over. Haruaki pokes my chest with a big grin on his face.

"I know: She confessed to you, didn't she?"

"Ah…no…"

Well, she confessed to me that she's 'Aya Otonashi,' so in a way, he's correct.

"Oh? You're trying to evade my question! I smell a rat! Don't tell me I hit the bull's eye?! Damn, I'm jealous! Kasumi has gotten really pretty, hasn't she!"

Ah, I see.

Listening to Haruaki's cheerful babbling, I finally realize what I have to do.

Although reuniting with Maria was very reassuring, I had been at a loss as to what to do next because 'Kasumi Mogi,' the owner, disappeared.

"If you make Kazuki Hoshino your enemy, you will also pick a fight with an immortal!"

I recall the words Haruaki once said to Maria. This happened a long time ago, so I'm not too sure of his exact words anymore.

Right. I must gain his support, no matter what.

"Haruaki. Can we resume the talk we were having before?"

He is taken aback for an instant when I ask him out of the blue, but then he smiles and nods.

"I told you earlier that I realized what I have to do, right? Let me tell you my conclusion."

I look into Haruaki's eyes and declare war.

"I will—fight against the Rejecting Classroom."

He widens his eyes when he hears my sharp declaration.

"Umm, listen… Didn't I explain it to you clearly? Even if we are in that Rejecting Classroom, it shouldn't matter as long as you don't know about it."

"Yeah, but I just can't accept that! I can't possibly accept an everyday life where I can't make any progress because everything's repeating!"

"Why?"

"Because—I do know about it, right here, right now."

Maybe my life would move along smoothly if I just forgot about being inside the Rejecting Classroom.

However, I am aware of it. I know that this world is nothing more than a fake everyday life.

Therefore, I can't ignore it.

Maybe it's just self-indulgence. Nevertheless, I'm convinced that I'm right and I can't act any differently.

"…Well, it's up to you, but is there a reason that you decided to become so obstinate?" Haruaki asks curiously.

A reason…? The reason I insist so strongly on a genuine everyday life? …Indeed, my attachment to my everyday life might not be normal.

"You look as if your life depended on it," Haruaki whispers.

Ah, right. That's it. The reason is so obvious.

"It is—the meaning of life."

Haruaki opens his eyes wide in surprise.

"The meaning of life? What's that? What do you mean?"

"I can't spell it out exactly, but… for example, getting 100 points on a test you didn't study for at all won't make you happy, right? But when you get 100 points after studying really hard while trying to get a good grade, you'll be happy, right?"

"You've got a point there: I value stuff a lot more when I work hard for it, even though the actual value doesn't change!"

"In my opinion, pursuing something is what it means to live. I don't think that's an exaggeration. I mean, everyone will die someday. The consequence of life is death! Caring only for the end result scares me."

"Everyone will die someday…Indeed."

"If this is the Rejecting Classroom where everything is rendered void, then I can't accept that. I have to engage in my genuine everyday life in order to protect the meaning of life. Therefore, I deny the box that denies true everyday life."

Haruaki listens to my confession with great interest.

…Maybe I didn't even need to tell him all that. Haruaki would probably help me anyway.

"Haruaki, will you help me?"

Without missing a beat, Haruaki gives me a thumbs up.

✵

Per Haruaki's suggestion, we decided to also bring in Kokone and Daiya. The five of us have gathered around the bed in the high-class hotel that I previously visited with Maria.

I explained the whole story to Kokone and Daiya.

Actually, I expected that Maria would complain about it being a waste of time, but she stayed mostly silent and even added a few comments from time to time. Maybe she wanted to hear some new opinions on the matter.

"Umm…So you're telling us that Kasumi's actually Aya Otonashi-san and not Kasumi, while the real Kasumi is the owner who created the Rejecting Classroom and we don't know her whereabouts… And now you want a solution, huh…? …No idea what your talking abooout! You've lost meee!" Kokone plops down on the bed. "Oh, this bed is awesome."

"I didn't ask for your impressions about the bed, though."

"I know!" she yells in response to my joking remark. Kokone's probably seriously mulling over the problem, despite her behavior.

"Let me ask a question," Daiya interjects. "If we're inside the Rejecting Classroom, that supposedly inevitable accident will occur again, right?"

"It should, yeah." Maria answers.

Huh…? Daiya is taking this seriously?

"What's with that stupid look, Kazu? Flapping your mouth open and closed—are you a carp in front of a baited hook? "

"Ah, no—I was just surprised that you believed so readily in what we said about the Rejecting Classroom."

"Ha! As if," Daiya spits out.

"—Uh, huh…?"

"I wouldn't care if it were just you who had a screw loose, but even Mogi's saying some weird stuff right now. There must be some other explanation for what's going on, but it's too tiresome to theorize about that. So I decided to stop being skeptical and accept the Rejecting Classroom for now out of convenience."

In short, he'll help us?

"And then, Daiyan? The accident might occur again. And then?" Haruaki urges him to continue.

"Yeah. Who is going be the victim if the accident occurs as usual? Mogi isn't around anymore, is she?"

"That's going to be me, I guess…It seems natural that I take over that role as well, since her position was forced upon me."

"Was the victim always Kasumi?" Haruaki asks.

"No, other people would sometimes get run over while trying to rescue her. So there was Kazuki, Mogi, me, and even you because you tried to save me while I was trying to save Mogi. In fact, you did so several hundred times."

"Whoa! No kidding? Wait, isn't several hundred times kinda impossible? …Ah, no, not necessarily, huh. It's quite plausible that the same person would take the same action in the same situation."

"Even worse, in most cases you confessed to me beforehand," Maria sighs.

"A man that sacrifices himself to save the woman he loves… Hell yeah! Ain't I cool?!"

"To be frank, you should have minded your own business."

"H-How cruel."

"Well, try imagining how I felt. You have no idea how excruciating it is to watch someone sacrifice himself for you because he loves you… What you did was highlight the haughtiness of my pursuit of the box. It was the most painful way to break my will, hands down."

"Mmmm…" Haruaki grimaces.

But I guess he has no regrets, since his actions themselves weren't wrong.

"While we're at it, how many times did I confess to you, Aya-chan?"

"Exactly 3,000 times."

"W-Wow, I'm passionate… "

"So you got turned down 3,000 times! That's got to be a new getting-dumped record! You're so bad you're almost adorable, Haru!"

"Just shut up, Kiri!"

Those two never fail to amuse me.

"Mogi…Ah, no, I'll call you Otonashi for now. Otonashi, why did Mogi head to the scene of the accident every time despite her knowledge of what would occur there?"

Maria raises an eyebrow in response to Daiya's question and answers.

"Because it's part of the rules of the Rejecting Classroom. Oomine, there's probably no need to tell you this, but I've tried to prevent the accident numerous times."

"Well, of course you wouldn't sacrifice yourself right away. It's more natural to think that you arrived at that course of action after some time. I, for one, would never choose to be run over."

"Hey, why are you talking about the accident? Nothing will be solved unless we find Kasumi, right?"

Kokone tilts her head as she interrupts them. Daiya looks away with displeasure.

"This humanoid noise generator is really getting on my nerves."

"Ahaha. If only you were run over by a truck 20,000 times, no?☆"

"Just asking, Kiri, but how are you going to find Mogi for us?"

"Well… beats me. Besides, do you have a better idea?!"

"No clue."

"Oho… I'm amazed that you're able to play the innocent while calling me a noise generator. Why don't you scrap your last name 'Oomine' and call yourself 'Mr. Innocent,' instead? Daiya Innocent. Whoa, it fits perfectly!"

"I'm not the only one with no idea. No one else knows, either. Right?"

Haruaki and I exchange glances. Well, Daiya's right. If we knew, we'd propose something right away.

"Thus, we have to search for another solution. Consequently, I addressed the truck accident, which is obviously a special event within this recurrence. It's a completely normal thought. Ms. Humanoid bullshit generator, did my explanation get through to you?"

"Ugh…"

Kokone grits her teeth in vexation, defeated by his explanation.

"Anyway, we might make some progress by preventing the accident, so it's worth trying. That's your point, right, Daiyan?"

Daiya nods in response to Haruaki's summary.

"Exactly. But there's no point if we can't prevent it."

"No—" Maria denies his statement. "It may be worth trying. My actions were limited when I was alone, but with this many people the outcome may be different."

"Does the number of people actually matter? Zero stays zero, no matter what you multiply it by. Doesn't the same hold true for the kind of impossibility we're facing?" Daiya objects.

"I get your point, but I believe there is still a possibility. The conditions have changed, after all: I am not Mogi, but 'Aya Otonashi,' so the probability might not be zero anymore. There's no reason not to improve the odds by increasing the number of people involved, don't you think?"

Daiya crosses his arms and ponders for a while. At last he nods, saying "You have a point."

"Alright! It's decided, we'll try it! We'll prevent the accident somehow! Any objections?"

No one objects to Haruaki's interjection.

Yeah. That should probably work out.

✵

It's early in the morning, an hour before the usual time of the accident.

We are standing with umbrellas at the scene of the accident, the crossroads.

Haruaki and I are supposed to save Maria if necessary. It'll be dangerous if the accident still occurs, but both of us chose our roles of our own free will.

Maria was supposed to find and break into the truck in question. She figured that the chance of getting run over by the truck would be minimized if she just sat in its driver's seat.

I'm nervous. We mustn't fail. I didn't sleep a wink yesterday. Out of anxiety, and the desire to confirm something, I talked with Maria over the phone for several hours.

I look at Haruaki's face.

Unlike me, he doesn't seem nervous. His expression is completely normal. It's the face I have always seen in the Rejecting Classroom.

This time we may be able to destroy the 'Classroom'.

—Whether the accident happens or not.

"Haruaki, I'd like to talk a bit while we wait, OK?"

"Why so formal? Of course that's OK!"

I instinctively look up at the sky when I hear the sound of raindrops hitting my umbrella.

"It's about Mogi-san."

"Kasumi? Umm, not Otonashi-san but the original one?"

I nod.

"I didn't tell you that she…killed us, right?"

"…Now doesn't that sound violent, eh?" Haruaki raises an eyebrow.

It's not like I was trying to keep him from finding out. I simply couldn't remember what happened until I realized that Mogi-san's the owner.

And as if my shackles were broken the moment I recalled the identity of the owner, I regained all of last iteration's memories.

"She killed me, Maria, Kokone and probably even you."

"…We were killed? By Kasumi? Why so? For what purpose?"

"She did so in order to 'reject' others! Originally, everything is rendered null and void within the Rejecting Classroom. So even if you kill someone, it's going to get undone. But it seems Mogi-san is able to 'reject' others by killing them with her own hands. I think she does so because she can then wish to never meet that person again from the bottom of her heart."

Haruaki nods with a serious expression. I have already explained 'rejection' to him, and that once it happens, no one can recall the 'rejected' person anymore.

"Our Kasumi has, huh… quite unbelievable. But… well, it's no surprise that even Kasumi got like this after experiencing almost 30,000 iterations, I guess. Fair enough."

"Do you really think so?" I ask.

"Mh? I mean, it may be hard to imagine, but anyone would go a little crazy in such a situation, right?"

"Indeed. But you know what? Even if you went insane, you still wouldn't commit murder. It's not normal to think that way!"

"You think so? Aren't you too fixated on your own point of view?"

Maybe. But I can't believe it. I mean, murder could only become an effective way to 'reject' because it made her feel guilty. I can't believe that such a person could think of such an inhuman crime on her own.

"…you confessed to Maria 3,000 times and were run over several hundred times in her place, right?"

"I guess so. In my current state, I can't remember, of course."

"Yeah. But at the end of the day: your actions tormented her, right?"

"Ah—… not on purpose, though," Haruaki says with a bitter smile.

"She felt so tormented because any message, no matter how absurd, gains weight after being repeated so many times. For example: no matter how confident you are in your beauty, if someone tells you that you're ugly a thousand times, you'll lose that self-confidence—even if the comment was made in jest."

"Well, I guess so."

"Thus, Maria couldn't help but become aware of you when you confessed to her 3,000 times. And we're talking about Maria. Believe me, she wasn't unaffected when you opposed her."

'If you make Kazuki Hoshino your enemy, you will also pick a fight with an immortal!'

I recall those words once more.

"…Oh? Did I set the flag for Aya-chan's route?"

I smile lightly and ignore his joke.

"So, what if someone suggested murder as a solution to Mogi-san a thousand times? Wouldn't that make Mogi-san believe that there's no other alternative? After all, she couldn't even rely on anyone else and was on the verge of going insane."

Haruaki nods.

"…I admit that would be tough. And it's actually possible. After all, the person who talks to her would be at a standstill. His actions and values wouldn't change. It would only be natural to say the same things over and over. If he said something once, he'd probably say the same thing several thousand times."

"You're right. But I'm not worried about that scenario. That'd be like an accident, where no one's at fault. But—"

I finally look away from the threatening sky.

"—what if someone chose his words and actions purposely in order to corner her?"

And then I—focus on Haruaki.

Haruaki doesn't show any signs of discomfort even though I'm staring at him.

"Mh? But that's impossible, isn't it?"

The expression on Haruaki's face looks totally normal.

"You're wrong! For example, Maria and I could have, if we'd wanted to. If someone kept pretending to have lost his memories when dealing with Mogi-san, it's possible!"

Haruaki silently listens to my words without any objection.

"I originally thought that being able to retain your memories would be an advantange. After all, the more information, the better, right? But that's not always true. Retaining your memory also means that you'll be continuously attacked by those who lose their memories, and those who pretend to have lost their memories. The people who lose their memories exist in a safe zone. They can attack those of us who stand at the front lines from their safe position."

I experienced such an attack when the girl I love replied with 'Please wait until tomorrow' to my confession. Though to be fair, she wasn't standing in the safe zone.

"What if someone deliberately attacked Mogi-san from that safe place? Someone who was aware of her pain, who made sure she wouldn't escape and prepared a 'murder' option for her. If so—"

"If so, that guy controlled Kasumi and deliberately contributed to the murders," Haruaki says casually.

He doesn't deny my claim.

"We can't be sure that Mogi-san was the only target."

"…but?"

"I mean, she wasn't the only person standing at the front lines. Maria and I were there, too. Depending on that person's goals, he may also have tried to manipulate me and Maria. No… we may already be more or less under his control."

"—wanna try killing me?"

I remember someone saying that to me at one point.

Actually, I heard those words more than once. That person repeated his statement without end. Those words stuck in my head like a curse.

In addition, corpse after corpse was put on display for me.

Maria was confessed to, had to watch her confessee sacrifice himself for her sake, and was even antagonized by that same person.

That's all the relevant info I managed to pull from my fragmented memory. There might have been some smaller traps that I didn't pick up on.

Continuously attacking from a safe place with no downside. Even if his plans didn't go as expected, he could repeat this attack without limit.

"If we assume that our actions were controlled by that person to a certain degree—"

I gulp.

"—he also planned for us to be in our current situation."

Haruaki remains silent. His face is hidden by his umbrella, so I can't see his expression.

The silence continues. The sound of the rain seems strangely loud. I hear a soft sound. At first, I don't know what it is, but when I perk up my ears, I realize that it's suppressed laughter.

Haruaki moves his umbrella aside so I can see his face.

He stares at me and laughs in amusement.

"Okay, um, Hoshii. What's the point of this joke, or rather, grand hypothesis? First, it's definitely impossible. It's not that easy to control others, is it? Sure, it's a funny story, but to be honest, I don't know whether it's okay to laugh or not because you look so serious…No, forget that; I mean, I already started laughing."

"Oh, was I being a bit too indirect?"

"…Indirect? Anyhow, I don't even get what that guy's goal is. But whatever it is, there should be a less roundabout approach."

Haruaki is still speaking in a bright voice.

"Yeah. I don't know his motive either. So I thought I'd just ask you."

"Ask me…?"

Once I say this, I'll be irrevocably committed.

"Haruaki—"

But I've lost my willingness to retreat long ago.

"—Why did you corner us like this?"

He doesn't answer.

He's once again hiding his face with his umbrella.

He doesn't say anything. He probably doesn't intend to tell me anything.

"I don't remember exactly how it happened, but we became friends right after school started. And thanks to you, I also become friends with Kokone and Daiya. My school life would probably have been a bit more boring if it weren't for you. All that good stuff happened thanks to you."

If so, I'll have to do the talking for him.

"We haven't even been friends for a full year, but—"

"So, you can't judge whether I'd do something like this?"

I shake my head, though Haruaki probably can't see me.

"There are lots of things I don't know about you. But there is one thing I know for sure. I can say this much with confidence."

I declare.

"Haruaki Usui would never corner us like this."

I can finally see his expression.

Haruaki looks at me with widened eyes.

"So—"

I finally get to the point.

"So—who are you?"

"Oh? You're trying to evade my question! I smell a rat! Don't tell me I hit the bull's eye?! Damn, I'm jealous! Kasumi has gotten really pretty, hasn't she!"

Haruaki was just messing with me back then.

But something stood out.

There is a rule that the Rejecting Classroom enforces. Other people never notice any of Mogi-san's changes—not even when she was replaced by 'Aya Otonashi'. So how? Just how?

—how could he say that Kasumi has become pretty?

That's not the only reason for suspicion.

Haruaki had been 'rejected'.

Even I had forgotten about him. But I somehow managed to remember him again.

'I remembered him because he's a dear friend.' That's how I justified it. But why would I remember him when I couldn't remember a single other person who had been 'rejected'?

It's just a hypothesis, but I think I didn't completely forget him because someone else had been mixed in with Haruaki.

Both arguments together don't count as proof positive of anything. I realize they're pretty flawed.

But that doesn't matter anymore.

Because I have remembered.

Because I have remembered something that I shouldn't be able to remember.

"Do you have a wish?"

"This is a box that grants any wish."

The words of someone who could assume anyone's identity, but at the same time, resembles no one at all.

"Tell me what you're trying to do!"

And then I say his name.

I say the name of the being who parceled out this box, the being I had forgotten about until now.

His name is—

"—O"

And the moment I say his name—

"Fufu…"

—Haruaki vanishes from his own face.

It's not like his face changed shape. Haruaki just isn't present within the smile on his face anymore; it's a fake who has disguised himself using Haruaki's skin.

At last, the menace that has been pursuing us takes shape.

—O.

"Oh boy, nobody should actually know my name except the current owner of this box, you know? That's bizarre."

"You were careless with your words."

"Careless?"

O giggles. He truly seems amused.

"I wasn't careless at all; there was no need for me to be careful to begin with. You are abnormal because you became aware of me via those hints!"

"You think so?"

"Then tell me, when you see someone acting a bit unusual, do you suspect right away that someone else has replaced him?"

I have to admit that he's right. No matter how suspiciously someone acts, it's unreasonable to think that someone might have taken over that person's identity.

"And yet, you discovered me. That means that you knew of me, a possible cause of such an occurrence, even though nobody should be able to remember my existence."

"If that's true, how did I remember you?"

"Who knows? It's really mysterious, but maybe Aya Otonashi's existence influenced you? Even so, you still shouldn't be able to notice me just because someone taught you something."

O is speaking pleasantly and openly. But right now, I couldn't care less about what he's talking about.

"…Aah, you want to understand my intentions? Okay! There's nothing to hide. I—just wanted to observe you up close."

As I hear him say this, I start to feel it.

Aah—again.

The same strange, uncomfortable sensation I felt when I met him for the first time. I feel it once again.

What is it? What is this feeling again?

"…I don't get it! Why does this make you want to corner Mogi-san?"

"Why did I corner the owner? As I said, I wanted to observe you. Well, let me be a little more clear," O starts to say with amusement. "I wanted to see how you'd react to someone else's box. When Kasumi Mogi's flawed wish of altering her past was granted, I thoughtlessly rejoiced at first. I was happy because I was able to observe your involvement with a box over a long stretch of time…But it didn't take long for me to realize that this was non-ideal. I'd prefer to observe you in as many different situations as possible, but I can't do that within this box that you people call the Rejecting Classroom. Everyone acts the same way every time, yourself included. No matter how much Kasumi Mogi and Aya Otonashi stabilize their own memories, it's not interesting at all if the important person—that'd be you—doesn't retain his memories."

I hug myself in response to the discomfort I'm feeling.

"Therefore, I decided to interfere with you guys. I took over Haruaki Usui because his central position allowed me to easily influence all three of you. Well, I built a nice little nook for myself by using Haruaki Usui, Aya Otonashi and Kasumi Mogi, and made sure that you retained your memory. Thanks to that I was able to observe you quite nicely!"

"So, could it be that you manipulated Mogi-san into killing me because you wanted to…?"

"Yes, I wanted to see how you'd react to a deadly attack from the girl you love."

…For that reason alone, Mogi-san was forced to suffer constantly.

"Ah, that's also why I induced you to love her, of course."

"Wha—"

My feelings were induced—?

"Oh? I was sure you had noticed. Ah, I see. So you didn't want to notice. Heh…It's these moments that make it worth being so close to you. To tell the truth, I don't need to be in this box to observe you. But then I would probably overlook moments like this. Watching from outside the box is really bothersome; it's almost like peering through the lens of a super-efficient telescope from far up in space. You can see whatever you want, but it's hard to keep it in focus, so to speak. So, it was really fortuitous that I could watch you from up close as Haruaki Usui!"

I finally understand this uncomfortable feeling.

Right. It is—dread.

It's not like I haven't felt any dread until now, but this dread is so different from its normal form that I couldn't recognize it at first.

"Well then, Kazuki Hoshino-kun. What are you going to do?"

I can't form any words.

Because I became aware of this terrible dread, I can't even open my mouth.

"Did you think that everything would be resolved once you demonstrated that 'I' am inside Haruaki Usui? I seem totally human right now, and since I'm also a murderer, you could just hand me over to the police and call it a day. But that's not it, right? Your goal is to regain your everyday life, isn't it? Talking to me resolves nothing!"

He is dangerous. More dangerous than anything else I've come across.

"That's also why I didn't go out of the way to conceal my transformation into Haruaki Usui. Indeed, the box is in my possession now because I stole it from the owner. I could show it to you right now, but there's no need to do so. I don't have to hand it over to you just because you remembered me. You don't have the power to force me to, either."

He is interested in me. But only as a test subject. No more, no less. And naturally I have no idea how to deal with someone who treats me like this.

Therefore—

"—Well, you're undeniably correct."

—the person speaking to him like that clearly wasn't me.

"Kazuki alone doesn't have that power."

O looks at me, trying to figure out where that voice is coming from.

It's coming from my bag.

The klaxon of a truck resounds loudly. With its engine roaring, a huge truck races toward us. O looks in its direction and frowns slightly. The truck that is rushing toward us seems awfully familiar to me.

And sitting in its driver's seat…is Maria.

"I missed you, O!"

This voice echoes from my bag. It's coming from the cell phone I turned on for our entire conversation.

The truck barrels toward us but we stand our ground. I hear the sound of an emergency brake kicking in, but the rain is keeping the brakes from working properly. The truck's coming closer and closer, but O doesn't move an inch. When I see him standing his ground, I do the same, but I instinctively close my eyes.

The sound of the emergency brake fades away.

I open my eyes. The truck has literally stopped before my very eyes.

"What was that supposed to achieve?" O smiles faintly as he poses this question to the figure in the driver's seat.

"It's just a little welcome. How fortunate that you weren't run over as a substitute for Kasumi, huh?"

I hear this voice in stereo, from in front of me and from my bag. After stepping out of the truck, Maria finally removes her Bluetooth headset and terminates our call.

O is staring at Maria. She stands in front of us without an umbrella.

"So you listened to our entire conversation? In other words, this laughable strategy was just a distraction to begin with? What a shame—I would have loved to see Kazuki-kun getting discouraged by its failure."

"I was taking this strategy seriously at the time you proposed it. But as it turns out, Kazuki knew about your true form and left me in the dark."

I didn't really mean to, though. I just didn't know when to tell her that I'd made that discovery.

However, I did make sure that I could have a private chat with Haruaki by securing his cooperation.

"But that was the right choice in the end. If I had been by Kazuki's side, you might have continued to play dumb."

"Did you steal the truck just to appear as if you were far away? Well, I appreciate your efforts, but why would I play dumb if you were present? You might be a box, but that doesn't mean you are capable of doing anything to oppose me."

"Oh, so you didn't notice? Looks like my efforts were totally wasted! Well then, let me ask: You're aware of my Flawed Bliss, right?"

"Yes, I know of it. And I also know that it won't help you against me."

Maria laughs at O.

"Ha, you really won't ever comprehend humans. Maybe you'll get it if I phrase it like this: 'I have prepared to erase you'."

O reacts to her words with a wry smile.

"All you can do is cram others into your own box, no? So how would you be able to do that?"

"It seems you still don't know why I was fixated on Kazuki."

She suddenly calls out my name. O looks at me. Although his eyes are kind, they frighten me. They're the eyes of someone looking at a piece of pork and thinking about how to cook it.

"...I see."

O smiles.

"So you finally get it. Kazuki's got a gift for using boxes. He might even be able to master my Flawed Bliss. And he would certainly wish for his everyday life to continue. For his everyday life to be free of beings that menace it. Like the boxes. Like you."

Maria scowls at O as she declares this.

O isn't overwhelmed by her words. He's not surprised or amazed. He just sorrowfully casts down his eyes.

"I see. So you haven't changed at all," O says.

To the girl who has become more than human after living through 27,755 loops.

"But an inferior box like you would disappear as well, wouldn't you?"

Maria doesn't even flinch.

"I'm aware of that."

"I figured."

O, however, still looks sorrowful. He doesn't even seem to worry about the possibility of his own erasure.

"Can you still not live for your own sake? Can you only act for the sake of others? I pity you from the bottom of my heart for living so miserably!"

"To hell with your pity."

"At first I was interested in that unusual trait of yours, but it is worthless. A human that does not have any personal desires is the same as a robot. I could just as well observe a vacuum cleaner. You are the most boring existence possible!"

Maria grits her teeth with vexation after hearing his speech. Fair enough. Instead of being perceived as an opponent, the enemy is taking pity on her.

"Okay. I don't want to get erased, so let's make a deal. I will hand over the box to you. In return, I want you to let me go. What do you think?"

"…Hmph, aren't those conditions too much in your favor when you're about to get erased?"

"You should be thankful that I even bothered to respond to your lame threat. There's no guarantee that Kazuki-kun would really use your box. I don't even want to bother to estimate how low the probability is that I would disappear, if he used your box. I am making this unnecessary conciliatory gesture solely to express my respect to Kazuki-kun for finding me, you know?"

"Conciliation? What you'll hand over to us is an old birdcage in which you caged Kazuki. You can prepare as many new birdcages as you want, can't you? You were already getting tired of this one, and would have swapped it out for a new one soon enough, right?"

"I'll leave that up to your imagination."

"Hmph…Kazuki, are you okay with this deal?"

Maria asks for my approval. I nod. I'm fine as long as we can do something about the Rejecting Classroom.

"Kazuki Hoshino-kun. May I give you one word of advice?" O asks me. "You are someone who doesn't wish for change. But most of the owners wish for exactly that when they obtain a box. They may want to gain something, they may want to become something, they may want to get rid of something—they all try to make such desires come true. As a result, you will automatically find yourself coming into conflict with them."

I frown since I fail to grasp the intent behind his words.

"Kazuki Hoshino-kun. Do you consider yourself abnormal?" He asks me.

"…I'm normal."

He smiles in response to my answer.

"I see. But I'm afraid you're not! However, there is no need to worry if you don't like being abnormal. You can't stay that way for very long. Eventually, people like you either get rejected by society or adapt to it and lose their abnormality. Don't worry! You definitely fall in the latter category." He says all this without losing his smile.

"And that is why—you are truly ill-fated," he says with delight. "What I mean is that you have learned that loopholes exist. Every time you deal with misfortune you will wish that you had a box. No matter how much you'll struggle in order to forget about them, theboxes do exist. The boxes that grant any wish do exist. You won't ever be able to forget about the existence of that loophole. And eventually, when you've been living with that knowledge for long enough, a time will definitely come when you'll need a box!"

He is still smiling.

Aah, I see—

I handed back the box. But it was futile to do so. By then I was already bound by the curse of O.

"At the point in time when you'll need the box, you might have already lost your abnormality. If so, you won't be able to master the box anymore. That will reduce my interest in you a little. Therefore, I'm going to continue interfering with you and your surroundings from now on—to arouse your interest in a box."

What should I have done to avoid getting cursed?

—There was probably no way to prevent it.

I—no, we had already lost the very moment we first encountered O.

"Naturally, I'll provide you with a box even if you lose your abnormality. I don't mind—as long as you let me listen to your sound."

"…My sound?"

"Yes, I like any tonal color you humans produce, but there is a sound I like best. If possible, I'd like you to let me listen to that sound. …Mh? What sound is it, you ask? My taste is completely ordinary, so I think you know already. It's—"

He smiles and says,

"—the sound of creaking hearts."

With these words the O who looks like Haruaki Usui disappears.

A small box falls to the ground where O was standing. When I reach out for it, it starts to expand.

Immediately afterwards, the entire scenery around us starts to get folded up. I can see the walls of this world. The white wallpaper starts to crumble to dust. The sweetness that has stuck to my skin disappears, leaving behind dull discomfort. My inner ears start to go crazy and everything starts to rotate. The sound of destruction. The sound of destruction. The sound of someone's destruction. This place is filled with despair. Undeniable despair.

The fake background has been erased and we are standing inside a dark chamber. A small, small chamber that would surely sicken me within just half a day.

This is probably—the inside of the box.

And in this prison-like room, she is crouched. With her forehead pressed to her knees and her arms around her legs.

This is the girl I loved.

"...Mogi…san."

Upon hearing my words, she slowly raises her face.

"Ah—"

Her eyes seemed almost dead until just now, but a faint light flares up in them.

"I can't believe it! There's no way everything could go that well for me!"

Tears flow down her cheeks.

At first I'm very confused, but I quickly understand why.

"—You really came to save me."

I see.

She's finally able to cry again.

"Mogi-san, I'm sorry. But I plan to destroy the Rejecting Classroom."

"…Yeah."

Mogi-san nods as she cries.

"I plan to let you die in the accident."

"...Yeah."

She wipes away her tears.

"You may destroy the box. You may also end my life. But please wait a moment. There's something I want to tell you."

Mogi-san starts to search for something in her bag. She takes it out and hides it behind her back.

Maria frowns at Mogi-san's behavior.

"Mogi…not again…"

Mogi-san ignores Maria and approaches me, hiding her hands behind her back.

"…Wait, Mogi! Please stop this alrea—"

"That's not it, Maria," I admonish her. I can't see what Mogi-san is hiding. But I already know what it is.

Maria reacts to my words with a dubious expression and steps behind Mogi-san. When she recognizes the object in her hands, she smiles wryly in amazement.

"Kazu-kun, do you think there are unchanging feelings?" Mogi-san asks me.

I know what to say right away, but it won't be a pleasant answer for her.

Thus, I have quite some trouble saying it.

I guess my answer would be different if I hadn't experienced the Rejecting Classroom. But I have experienced it. I have experienced the world that resembles eternity. So I can't help thinking what I do. Unchanging feelings—

"—I don't think they exist."

Mogi-san patiently listens to my answer.

Then she smiles.

"Yeah, I agree."

I peer into her eyes without thinking. She seems to have already predicted this reaction, so she keeps smiling and continues.

"My feelings for you didn't stay the same at all. You stopped being dear to me. I started disliking you, I hated you, I considered you a hindrance. I was even about to kill you once. But you know? That means that I was depending on you all this time. Because I always believed that you would rescue me. Always, always… I couldn't ignore you. I know that it's the worst and most selfish feeling there is. But you know? I couldn't help it. Even while I knew that I was being selfish. I know what this feeling is called. Even if you don't believe in unchanging feelings, please believe this. During all the time I've spent in the Rejecting Classroom—"

Mogi-san embraces me very reservedly.

And gives me the object she has been hiding.

Her lips tremble right beside my ear.

"—I loved you, Kazu-kun."

Her lips approach mine. Just as they are about to touch, she stops. After holding this position for a while, she peacefully pulls away without ever touching my lips.

I almost ask why she stopped, but I reconsider because she hands something to me.

"Ah—"

In my hands is the reason she couldn't do anything.

I understand and chew on my lip.

It's not what I expected her to give me.

It is an Umaibō.

So far so good, but it's not my favorite flavor, Corn Potage. It is Teriyaki Burger flavored. The flavor I don't like that much. Furthermore—

—it's the flavor that Mogi-san was originally supposed to give to me.

Why did Mogi-san embrace me so reservedly? Why didn't she kiss me?

This wasn't the confession of the Kasumi Mogi who has already confessed to me a countless number of times, who has already kissed me and has experienced the Rejecting Classroom.

It was the first confession of the Kasumi Mogi who existed before the Rejecting Classroom, who could only call me 'Hoshino-kun'.

I want to redo March 2nd.

The deepest regret she held on that day

She set it right just now.

So—do I have to answer as if it were the real March 2nd…?

I look at Mogi-san.

Mogi-san is smiling gently. She is waiting with a gentle smile, although she knows how I'll answer already.

"That's—"

That's just too cruel!

I don't want to say such a thing.

I mean, I loved Mogi-san. Even if these feelings were controlled by O, the feelings themselves weren't fake.

Why do I have no choice but to speak the words that will injure her?

Aah, of course.

I 'rejected' this box. I denied Mogi-san's wish. I'm going to let her die in an accident. I don't have the right to say kind words to her.

I open my mouth.

Still, it is quite hard to say it. I hesitate, opening and closing my mouth numerous times, and I'm startled by a salty liquid taste in my mouth.

But I can't think of any other words to say to her.

"Please wait until tomorrow."

Mogi-san sorrowfully casts her eyes downward.

She was definitely hurt by my words. And yet, her expression instantly changes once again. She tells me,

"Thank you."

—with a smile.

With a smile from the bottom of her heart.

Aah—

That smile lets me finally remember a conversation from long ago.

The conversation that made me fall in love with her.

The conversation that was the trigger for this ephemeral love.

A dear memory.

"Hoshino-kun. Could I ask you to call me Kasumi…?"

"Eh? W-Why, all of a sudden?"

"It may seem sudden to you, but I've wanted you to address me like this all this time, you know?"

"I…see."

"So…is it okay?"

"O-Okay…"

"A-Also, um—can I call you Kazu-kun?"

"Err… yeah, I don't mind."

"O-Okay, so please give it a try."

"...Kasumi."

"…Please say it once more."

"Kasumi."

"…Thank you."

"Wha…! W-Why are you crying…?!"

"Hm? Am I crying?"

"Y-You are…!"

"Then…it's because I'm so happy, Kazu-kun."

And then Kasumi laughed, even while tears poured from her eyes.

I had never seen a smile like that before.

It was a smile that was full of pure happiness.

It was the first time I was able to bring so much happiness to someone. It was a very novel sensation, so I felt extremely happy.

To bring happiness to someone is happiness itself.

I was happy to have discovered that side of me, and the girl who taught me this feeling became a special existence to me.

Maybe I'm simple-minded.

But without a doubt, that smile managed to change me.

But I'm going to erase this recollection.

I'm going to erase this newfound feeling.

I think that's just too cruel. I think there was no need to encounter such an obstacle at the very last moment. I think it's heartless to make me destroy such a thing with my own hands.

But even so, I have already chosen.

I already chose a long time ago.

I mean, even this remorse will get erased by the Rejecting Classroom right away, won't it?

"Maria, can you grant a request?"

So I just want someone to give me a little push while I'm hesitating.

"Tell me."

"You should know what I'm going to do now."

"Yeah, because I've observed you more than anyone else in the world."

"What am I going to do now? I just want you to tell me."

Maria nods with a serious expression. No doubt, she knows exactly why I'm asking for this.

"You're going to trample it!"

But Maria doesn't mince her words.

"You're going to trample someone else's clumsy wish for the sake of your own wish! It's the one thing you won't abandon under any circumstances, Kazuki."

Yeah. I believe that I am right.

"Therefore, you will—destroy the box."

I nod at Maria's words.

I use my entire left arm to swipe away my tears.

"You're right."

I stand in front of the wall.

The gray wall surrounding us is thin, as if it were made of paper. This box has no power anymore. It's merely enclosing my memories and keeping them from disappearing for just a little while longer.

I want to turn around and check on Kasumi's expression.

But I feel like I mustn't do that.

I hold my right hand aloft.

In order to destroy the box, Kasumi's wish and my own memories.

"Thank you. So in the end it really was you who rescued me, Kazu-kun."

Please stop!

You don't have any reason to thank me. I am only a destroyer. I'm only trampling your mistaken wish.

Sorry.

Please forgive me for not being able to save you.

So I ignore her voice.

But, thank you.

Because you smiled at the end, I can finally believe in myself.

"UAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

I scream at the top of my lungs and smash the wall as powerfully as possibly.

With a loud noise, the wall breaks easily, like glass.

I can see myself and Kasumi within one of the scattered pieces. We are happily smiling at each other.

That piece falls to the ground, breaks, and crumbles to dust.

White light starts to shine in from outside. The more the wall crumbles, the more the darkness is corroded by the light. Everything gets painted over and disappears except for us.

It is bright; I can't see anything.

But oh-so-cruelly, Kasumi is present. The original Kasumi is clearly present.

Kasumi is lying on the street, limbs askew. She's stained with blood. It looks so painful that I want to avert my eyes.

But Kasumi is smiling. She is smiling with all her might for me.

Her mouth opens.

"Goodbye."

And then we are enfolded in pure white and disappear.

The white light enters my body. The light searches for gaps and violently encroaches upon them, painting my insides, my blood, my heart and my brain white. The white light even invades my memory and paints it white.

Whether it's my fake yet valuable memories, the feelings I have experienced, the words we just exchanged—

Everything gets erased and fades into white.

Everything gets erased and fades into white.

Everything gets erased and fades into white—

1st time[]

"I am Aya Otonashi. I'm pleased to meet you," says the transfer student with a faint smile.

Astonished by her amazing looks, the girls start to chat noisily while the boys are left completely bereft of speech.

Of course I'm no exception. I don't think I've ever seen anyone as attractive as she is before. I couldn't avert my eyes even if I wanted to. Our eyes meet. I am instantly captivated by her eyes. The transfer student acts as though she is used to my reaction and smiles softly at me.

It almost makes me dizzy.

Falling in love with her is probably impossible. We are just too different. It's almost as if we live in different worlds. This may sound a bit mean, but I think anyone would agree after seeing her.

"I'd like to make a declaration," Aya Otonashi says without losing her perfect smile.

"Please—do not make friends with Aya Otonashi—with me."

The classroom sinks into silence at once.

This declaration is enough to silence our entire boisterous class like magic.

"Please do not take offense at my comment. If possible, I would love to make friends with everyone. However, that is not possible. Because—," she says in a firm, yet sorrowful voice, "—the existence of Aya Otonashi has to be an illusion."

I swallow even though I still have no clue what she's talking about.

"We are a poor match anyway. We are just ships passing in the night. Because I am the 'transfer student,' I am not acquainted with anyone, and no one is acquainted with me—and I will continuously return to this state. I will have to endure and maintain this relationship-less state for a long time. So I think it's accurate to call me a phantom. But even as a phantom I still have a sense of self. I feel sad about my state as well, but I have no choice but to accept it. Because as soon as I stop being able to accept being an illusion—as soon as I cannot endure it anymore—I am going to be taken in by this false recurrence."

I still don't get it at all. The only thing I understand is that she's dead serious and that no one is able to make fun of what she's saying.

"In order to become an illusion, I abandoned my real name inside this box. I fear that if I use my real name, I will become my own burden. And if I get taken in by this false recurrence, you will most likely all be erased."

She continues with a steady voice.

"Therefore, I—have to remain an illusion by becoming Aya Otonashi."

I see. I don't know what that means, but she isn't 'Aya Otonashi' yet.

She is going to become 'Aya Otonashi.'

She probably doesn't want to. It's not what she wishes for.

Still, she has no choice but to become 'Aya Otonashi.'

"But I am not strong," she says bitterly. "I suppose there will be times when I will want to complain. However once things get underway, I will stop being 'Aya Otonashi' as soon as I show any sign of weakness. Since this is my last chance, I will permit myself to display a bit of my weakness right now. I—"

It's by chance.

Yeah, I guess it's just by chance, but without a doubt—

—she is looking at me when she says:

"I—want someone to be by my side."

And then she smiles at me.

"Well then, please let me introduce myself once again," she says as if to convince herself.

"I am 'Aya Otonashi.' I hope we can be on good terms as we walk the long road that lies ahead for us."

Aya Otonashi bows very deeply.

Unsure of how to react, we all remain silent.

So, I start to applaud.

My clapping is the only sound that can be heard.

Finally someone joins in. Another person begins to applaud as well. The applause grows louder and louder.

When all of our classmates are applauding, she finally raises her head again.

But she's not smiling anymore.

Fists tightly clenched, she looks straight ahead with fiery willpower glowing in her eyes.

The weather is magnificent, and the sky is a deep blue.

As soon as I woke up, I confirmed today's date on my cell phone. 'April 7th.' Today's 'April 7th.' I also checked the newspaper and the TV to confirm that it's really 'April 7th.' Of course I realize that I'm being irrational, but ever since I was trapped within the Rejecting Classroom, I get very anxious if I don't go through all these rituals.

I retained the events of the Rejecting Classroom in my memories. However, my ability to recall those memories is imperfect – it feels like I'm looking at pictures of a place that I've never seen or visited. The box, Maria, O—I know what they are. But the corresponding emotions are not there anymore. No anger, no sadness—nothing at all. So even if I'd been in love with someone, I'd probably have forgotten about it by now. Maybe I'll gradually forget those memories because they were so faint to begin with.

Including Maria.

I mean, we weren't supposed to meet to begin with, so I'm sure we won't meet again.

Anyhow, today's 'April 7th,' the day of the opening ceremony.

I've become a second year student.

My classroom is now on the 4th floor instead of the 3rd floor. The scenery hasn't improved just because I'm on a different floor, and located more to the west. Nevertheless, the air feels completely different as I enter the room of class 2-3. I'm so excited that I even press my hand to my chest.

After checking the seating chart placed on the teacher's desk, I sit down in my new seat. When I lightly greet my new classmates with a 'Let's all get along,' their replies are lively. Yeah, I'm getting some good vibes.

Another person enters the classroom.

He sees me and raises his hand.

"Heyho, Hoshii! So we're in the same class again!"

Even though his comment is totally generic, the other fifteen people in the room focus their attention on us. Yeah, Haruaki is as loud as ever.

"…Haruaki."

"Mh, what's the matter?"

I look at him with suspicion.

"Are you the real Haruaki?"

"…why, do I look like a fake? Did you perhaps think I'm my own twin? Were you influenced by that super famous manga so now you think that all high-school baseball pitchers are twins?!"

"…no."

For some reason, I start to wonder if I can trust a single thing he says…

"Ah right, Hoshii! Come to think of it—"

"'Morning, Haru and Kazu-kun!"

A new voice interrupts Haruaki.

Kokone is standing by the door of the classroom. Daiya is next to her.

Ah, did those two affectionately accompany each other to school today as well? If I mention that, Daiya will punish me with psychological harassment all day long, so I don't say anything.

"Getting greeted by a girl, my heart beat faster for a second—but man, it's just you, Kiri? What a waste of my excitement."

"Hey Haru… What's with that reaction? Who do you think you are?"

"Er, well, I'd just like you to stop being so obsessed with me that you'd chase after me just to be in the same class."

"Haa… so you try to hide how embarrassed you are because you're obsessed with me by using such phrasing? You wea~~lly are a child, Haru-chan, awen't you? Ah, right. Can you finally stop filling your mobile phone with my Moe voice?"

"Who would do such a thing!?"

"'My Masteer~'… come on! Now's the chance to add some new data to the Haru Moe-Moe voice collection! Shall I give you one more chance? If you like, I can add a 'Welcome home~' this time?!"

What's with this conversation… Please stop it, it's embarrassing.

"Haa… hey Kazu, do you happen to have any firecrackers? I'd love to jam some in Kiri's mouth and set them off right now."

"And then what about you, Daiya? You're jealous that I provide my Moe Moe voice only to Haru? Don't worry! If you bow down and kiss my feet, I'll say 'Onii-chan' to you, you little-sister fetishist. Aren't I the best?!"

"How about a 'Sorry for being born?'"

…nothing at all has changed in the new classroom.

But this is what I wished for.

I feel a bit lonely without Maria and Mogi-san, but regaining this everyday life is the reason I fought the Rejecting Classroom.

"…why are you grinning to yourself? That's repulsive, Kazu!"

Daiya calls me out.

"Ah, really. Kazu-kun's grinning. How horny he must be. I bet he's imagining some girl sitting beside him, stumbling around clumsily—"

"I'm not."

I deny it immediately, causing Kokone to pucker her lips.

"But who's sitting there anyway? Do you know? Is it some cute girl?" Haruaki asks me while shamelessly sitting on said seat. Since I checked out the names of the people sitting next to me back when I looked at the seating chart, I know whose seat it is.

"Yeah. It's a cute girl!"

"For real?! Who is it?!"

I'm glad she has a seat. Because she has a seat, the possibility of her sitting there also exists.

Her seat won't be next to mine anymore by the time she returns, but I don't mind.

With a smile, I declare the name of the girl sitting beside me:

"It's Mogi-san!"