Chapter 53: This Venerable One’s Cousin Is Certainly Not Very Smart

"Well, of course. They all get nicknames, no one gets a pass."

Xue Meng appeared to be in quite a good mood, eager to show Chu Wanning

the ropes. "You

look pretty young—what are you, five? You must be new to Sisheng

Peak, then. Haven't gotten a chance to know everyone yet. Once you've

settled in, you'll learn that the disciples have nicknames for all twenty

elders."

"Oh." Chu Wanning shot him an indecipherable look. "For example?"

"Oh, man, where do I even start? But it's getting late now, and I'm

kinda hungry. As thanks for all the pointers you gave me today, I'll take you

for a late-night snack down the mountain and tell you over food."

Chu Wanning thought for a moment with his head lowered, then smiled

and said, "Mn, okay."

Xue Meng put away Longcheng and took Chu Wanning's hand, the

unwitting disciple and the downsized master strolling along the stone steps

between the bamboo grove toward the main gate.

"Xiao-xiongdi, what're you called?" Xue Meng asked as they walked.

"My surname is Xia," Chu Wanning answered calmly.

"Xia what?"

"Xia Sini."3

Xue Meng completely failed to catch on. "That's a nice name," he said

cheerfully. "Which characters do you write it with?"

Chu Wanning glanced at him sideways with the look he reserved for

idiots. "Si as in 'Disciple Si,' Ni as in 'Disciple Ni.'4

 Xia Sini."

"Oooh." Xue Meng, still grinning, continued with the questions. "And

how old are you? Was I right before or what? You can't be older than five."

Chu Wanning was silent, his entire face dark. Lucky for Xue Meng, he

was looking at the road and not the child's face, or he really would have

been in for the scare of his life. "No, the young master guessed incorrectly…

I'm six this year."

"Then you're amazingly talented—though not quite as much as I was at

your age, of course. Anyway, with a bit of guidance, you'll definitely grow

up to be outstanding. Say, why don't you quit being Xuanji's disciple? Call

me Shige, and I'll go ask my shizun to take you on. How about that?"

Chu Wanning managed, with effort, not to roll his eyes. "What did you

say I should call you?"

"Shige." Xue Meng kept grinning as he bent down and flicked Chu

Wanning's forehead. "This is a rare opportunity, you know."

Chu Wanning's expression was complicated.

"What, speechless from overwhelming joy?"

Chu Wanning, indeed speechless—if not from overwhelming joy—

remained silent.

The two laughed and chatted as they walked—at least, Xue Meng

thought they were laughing and chatting—when a voice suddenly came from

behind them and ended this line of conversation that might have led to Xue

Meng's untimely demise.

"Eh? Mengmeng, what are you doing here?"

Who else on the entirety of Sisheng Peak could have the nerve to call

Xue Meng "Mengmeng"?

5

Xue Meng was cursing before he finished turning his head. "Mo Ran,

you goddamn mutt—call me that one more time, and I'll rip out your cur

tongue."

Sure enough, Mo Ran stood behind them under the clear moonlight,

clothes fluttering in the breeze and an easy grin on his face. He was about to

throw out a retort to further tease Xue Meng when he noticed the dainty kid

next to him and came to a screeching halt. "Is that…"

Xue Meng pulled Chu Wanning behind him, glowering at Mo Ran.

"None of your business."

"No, no, no—don't hide him away." Mo Ran circled around and

grabbed Xue Meng's hand, pulling Chu Wanning back out and crouching

down to give him a careful once-over. He made a questioning noise as he

muttered, "This kid looks awfully familiar."

Chu Wanning, inwardly alarmed, kept quiet.

"It feels like I've seen you somewhere before."

Chu Wanning didn't like where this was going. If he got busted here,

how could he ever face anyone ever again? He took an unconscious step back

and turned to run.

"Hold it!" Mo Ran grabbed Chu Wanning with a mischievous grin,

then reached out and playfully swiped a finger down the child's nose.

"Come, Xiao-didi," he said in a soft voice, "tell Gege your name?"

The swipe gave Chu Wanning goosebumps. Awkward and selfconscious, he kept trying to back away.

Mo Ran assumed he was scared, and he laughed. "What're you hiding

for? Be good and tell Gege: Is your name Xue?"

Xue Meng blinked, visibly confused.

Mo Ran pointed at Xue Meng. "Is he your papa?" he asked, smiling.

"Tell the truth, and this gege will buy you candy."

"What's your problem, Mo Weiyu?!" Xue Meng exploded, his face

bright red and feathers all ruffled. "Wh-wh-wh-what the hell are you

thinking?! Y-you're despicable! F-f-filthy! Sh-shameless!"

For a while, Chu Wanning was also silent, but secretly he was

somewhat relieved. "My surname is Xia. The Xuanji Elder's disciple, Xia

Sini."

"'Scare you to death'?" Mo Ran immediately caught the meaning in the

name Chu Wanning offered, and his eyes lit with amusement. "Ha ha, how

interesting."

Chu Wanning said nothing.

"Seriously, what's wrong with you?!" Xue Meng said heatedly as he

shoved at Mo Ran. "He's my new friend, so go away already. We're going

for a late-night snack. Out of the way."

"Okay." Mo Ran moved out of the way, but then fell into step next to

them, grinning and sauntering.

"What do you think you're doing?" Xue Meng snarled at him.

"I want a bite to eat too," Mo Ran said innocently. "What, am I not

allowed?"

Xue Meng couldn't bring himself to reply.

Wuchang Town was a small settlement that had once been infested

with all manner of ghosts and ghouls. Thanks to the establishment of Sisheng

Peak nearby, over the years, it had gradually regained its peace. These days

it could even be called lively.

It was late enough that the night market was open. The group walked

past the many stalls lining the road and picked a gudong soup joint, taking

their seats at a low wooden table in the outdoor dining area.

"Gudong soup" was made in a pot that was propped over a tabletop

stove, and the fire continued to burn while they ate. The broth was generally

very spicy, and fresh, raw ingredients were placed on the table to be dipped

into the boiling broth so they could be cooked just before eating. It was

called gudong soup because of the gudong sound of food being tossed into

the broth.

This was a famous dish in Sichuan, but Chu Wanning only ate it with

clear broth free of peppers, as anything spicy made him choke. Xue Meng

had been born in Sichuan, and Mo Ran had grown up around Xiangtan. In

other words, both of them were used to spicy food, and they naturally

assumed that "Xia Sini" could also handle it.

When they sat down to order, Xue Meng listed off a bunch of dishes

without even looking at the menu and added, "With extra peppers and chili

oil in the broth."

Chu Wanning suddenly tugged on his sleeve and said quietly, "I want a

twin pot."

"Huh?" Xue Meng thought he had misheard.

Chu Wanning's expression was dark. "Twin pot. Half-spicy, halfmild."

Xue Meng paused for a moment, then said, "You aren't from here?"

"Mn."

"Ah." Xue Meng nodded in understanding, but there was surprise in

his eyes as he glanced at Chu Wanning. "To have left your home at such a

young age, that's really so… Ah, never mind." He sighed and turned to the

waiter. "All right, twin pot, then."

Chu Wanning wasn't sure, but he thought he heard a hint of resistance

in Xue Meng's tone.

Soon enough, he found that he indeed wasn't imagining things. Xue

Meng really was reluctant to just accept this, and he fussed incessantly as

they waited for their food. "Shidi, when in Sichuan, do as the Sichuan do—

you gotta learn to eat spicy foods. How're you gonna get buddy-buddy with

people when you go out if you don't eat spicy stuff? You don't have to know

the local dialect, but spicy food is nonnegotiable. Oh yeah, where are you

from, anyway?"

"Lin'an," Chu Wanning replied.

"Oh." Xue Meng mulled this over, but he knew less than nothing about

that southern region. So while nibbling on the tips of his chopsticks, he

asked, "Do you guys eat rabbit heads over there?"

Before Chu Wanning could respond, Mo Ran was already piping up

from the side with a smile. "Of course not."

Xue Meng shot him a glare, and Chu Wanning also looked over at him.

Mo Ran had a foot up on the wooden bench and an arm propped

casually on his knee as he skillfully twirled the chopsticks in his hand. He

grinned at their reactions and tilted his head. "What? Why the look? They

really don't eat that kind of thing."

Xue Meng turned to Chu Wanning. "Is that true?"

"Mm-hmm."

Xue Meng went back to glaring at Mo Ran, "How did you know that?

You been there before?"

"Nope." Mo Ran pulled a funny face. "But Xia-xiong and our shizun

are from the same place, and don't you realize that Shizun would never eat

rabbit head? When he picks cold dishes at Mengpo Hall, it's either tofu with

scallions or sweet osmanthus lotus root. Look for yourself next time, if you

don't believe me."

Chu Wanning listened in silence.

"Ah, I guess I never really paid attention before. I haven't had the guts

to look at what's on Shizun's plate ever since that one time I saw his

breakfast. Too scary." Xue Meng rubbed his chin and let his distaste show on

his face. "Shizun's taste is truly beyond words. Did you know? He actually

eats savory tofu pudding."6

Chu Wanning remained silent.

As he spoke, Xue Meng turned toward him and said, sincerely and

with the utmost importance, "Xiao-shidi, definitely, absolutely, do not take

after the Yuheng Elder, or no one will want to eat with you. Remember,

rabbit head and spicy foods are both mandatory, and when you have tofu

pudding for breakfast, do not eat it with savory sauce."

"Don't forget about the seaweed and dried shrimp," Mo Ran added.

"Right, seaweed and dried shrimp too." This was a rare instance of

Xue Meng and Mo Ran uniting against a common enemy. "Absolutely

unacceptable."

Chu Wanning stared at this pair of idiots, face devoid of expression.

"Uh-huh."

Their dishes came in short order: fresh and crispy bamboo shoots,

vividly green cabbage, tender tofu, succulent fillets of fish, thinly sliced rolls

of lamb neatly piled on a porcelain plate, meat fried to a crunchy gold and

sprinkled with cumin and pepper flakes, and a jar of freshly made soy milk

on the side. The little table creaked under the weight.

Food brings people together, especially a lively meal like gudong

soup. A couple plates of lamb and a few cups of soy milk later, even Xue

Meng and Mo Ran's strained relationship became relaxed in the thick steam,

at least for the time being.

Xue Meng scoured the spicy broth with his chopsticks, "Oi, oi,

where's the brain I put in here?"

"Isn't it attached to your neck?" Mo Ran laughed.

"I meant the pig brain!"

Mo Ran bit his chopstick with an impish grin. "Mm-hmm, that's the

one."

"You goddamn mutt, you dare insult me—"

"Oh, hey! Your brain floated up! Time to eat!"

In a moment of excitement, Xue Meng had walked right into Mo Ran's

trap. "Put that dog paw away!" he yelled. "Don't even think about stealing it

—that's my brain!"

Chu Wanning sat on his little stool, leisurely drinking his jar of sweet

soy milk while watching the brats bicker. He was in no hurry; the entire mild

side of the pot was all his.

When he finished the soy milk, he licked his lips as if he wanted more.

Mo Ran noticed and asked with a smile, "Does Xiao-shidi like it?"

Chu Wanning took a moment to digest the fact that he had just been

called "Xiao-shidi" and internally calculated the possibility of making Mo

Ran not do that again, only to arrive at the conclusion that his odds were

practically zero. So he could only dryly reply, "Mn, it's not bad."

Thus Mo Ran turned toward the waiter. "Excuse me, another jar of soy

milk for my shidi here."

And so Chu Wanning contentedly began drinking a second jar.

He had always loved sweets, but he'd once acquired a cavity from

eating too many pastries, and the Tanlang Elder had been forced to go to

quite some trouble to restore it for him. Since then, Chu Wanning had

refrained from overindulging for the sake of his thin face.

Being temporarily stuck as a kid had the unexpected benefit of letting

him eat all the sweets he wanted.

Mo Ran watched him eat with his cheek in his hand. "Your tastes are

just like Shizun's."

Chu Wanning choked a little but managed to maintain his placid

expression. After a moment, he said, "Is Shixiong talking about the Yuheng

Elder?"

"Yep." Mo Ran nodded with a smile as he pushed a steamer basket

toward Chu Wanning, "Try this. I think you'll like it too."

Chu Wanning picked a leaf-wrapped bun from the bamboo steamer and

took a small bite. Warm steam gushed from the bun, and inside the soft,

glutinous wrapper was a sweet bean-paste filling.

"Do you like it?"

Chu Wanning took another bite before nodding. "Mn."

Mo Ran smiled. "Then have some more."

As the three of them chatted while eating, Chu Wanning suddenly

remembered an earlier subject. After finishing his fourth bun, he asked Xue

Meng with feigned nonchalance, "By the way, young master, you mentioned

earlier that every elder has a nickname. If my shizun, the Xuanji Elder, is

called the Rubbish King, then what's the Yuheng Elder's nickname?"