Chapter 58: This Venerable One Feels a Little Hazy

As a matter of fact, Mo Ran could usually hold his liquor pretty

well. It was just that on this night, in order to cover for his anxieties and fake

a nonchalance he didn't feel, he downed five whole jars of pear-blossom

white wine, grinning the whole time, until his consciousness grew hazy.

When he was half dragged, half carried back to his room by Shi Mei

and collapsed on his bed, Mo Ran's throat moved. He wanted to call Shi

Mei's name.

But habit was a frightful thing. During all those years in the past, the

one by his side hadn't been the moonlight of his heart, but the mosquito blood

he had grown sick of looking at. The name that came out of his mouth was

that of the person he had always thought he hated.

"Chu Wanning…" It came out all muddled. "Wanning… I…"

Shi Mei hesitated, then turned to look toward Chu Wanning, who was

standing by the door. Chu Wanning had carried Xue Meng back to his room,

and now he walked in, a bowl of sobering soup in hand, just in time to hear

Mo Ran's murmur.

After the initial surprise, Chu Wanning convinced himself that he had

misheard. After all, Mo Ran had always called him "Shizun." And it was one

thing for Mo Ran to call him "Chu Wanning," but to call him "Wanning"—

His mind tracked back to that night at the Red Lotus Pavilion, when

they had slept holding one another and Mo Ran, fast asleep, had clearly

called out "Wanning," then pressed a kiss to his lips, light as the touch of a

dragonfly on water. Was it possible that, in Mo Ran's heart, there actually

was a little bit of…

Chu Wanning smothered the thought before it could take root. He had

always been straightforward and resolute, except when it came to matters of

the heart, regarding which he knew well he was a dawdling coward.

"Shizun." Shi Mei's bright eyes, unmatched in elegance, looked at him

with uncertainty. "You…"

"Hm?"

"No, it's nothing. Since Shizun is here to take care of A-Ran, I—I'll

take my leave."

"Wait," said Chu Wanning.

"Does Shizun have any other instructions?"

"You're all leaving for Peach Blossom Springs tomorrow?"

"Mm-hmm."

There wasn't much of an expression on Chu Wanning's face. A little

while passed before he spoke again. "Go get some rest. Make sure to take

care of one another out there, and—" He paused. "Come back soon."

Shi Mei left.

Chu Wanning walked to the bedside, face impassive as he propped up

Mo Ran and fed him the sobering soup spoonful by spoonful.

Mo Ran disliked the sour taste and coughed it all up not long after.

However, he did sober up enough to open his eyes and stare, half-awake, at

Chu Wanning. He mumbled, "Shizun?"

"Mn. I'm here."

"Pfft." For some reason, Mo Ran started laughing, his chuckles framed

by dimples. "Immortal-gege."

Chu Wanning gave him a silent stare.

After that, Mo Ran plonked right back out, sprawled on his stomach.

Worried that he might catch a cold, Chu Wanning stayed by his side, pulling

his blanket back up and tucking him in now and again.

Outside the room, a number of the disciples weren't yet asleep as they

stayed up to count down to the New Year. Most of them were gathered inside

in groups, chattering and laughing, playing pai gow10

 or doing magic tricks.

When the hourglass hanging in front of Loyalty Hall finished trickling,

signifying the changing of the year, the disciples rushed outside to set off

fireworks and firecrackers. The night sky instantly filled with silvery flowers

and branches of fire.

The deafening sounds outside woke Mo Ran from his hazy sleep. He

cracked open an eye and pressed a hand to his throbbing temple, but the sight

that greeted him was that of Chu Wanning sitting by his bedside, his

handsome features composed and impassive.

"Did the noise wake you up?" Chu Wanning asked lightly when he

realized that Mo Ran was up.

"Shizun…" Mo Ran woke fully, startled despite himself. Why was Chu

Wanning the one watching over him? Where was Shi Mei? He hadn't said

anything in his sleep that he shouldn't have, had he? Mo Ran snuck an

apprehensive glance at Chu Wanning's face and only let out the breath he was

holding when it seemed that nothing was out of the ordinary.

The crackling of firecrackers continued outside. The two stared

awkwardly at one another for a while.

"Do you want to go see the fireworks?" asked Chu Wanning.

"Where's Shi Mei?" asked Mo Ran.

They spoke at practically the same time. It was too late to take

anything back.

Mo Ran's eyes opened wide, startled, and he stared at Chu Wanning

for a long while as if he didn't recognize him.

A moment passed in silence, and then Chu Wanning got up

nonchalantly to leave, though he turned at the door. "Everyone's celebrating

the New Year, so he's probably not asleep yet. You should go look for him."

It was only to be expected. Chu Wanning had such a terrible temper,

after all. Even if he had summoned all his courage to ask Mo Ran to go watch

the fireworks together, of course he had been rejected. He shouldn't have

said anything. How humiliating.

Chu Wanning returned to the Red Lotus Pavilion and sat by himself

beneath the haitang tree that bloomed year-round. There, alone, with a cloak

draped over his shoulders, he watched the brilliant flowers blossoming

across the night sky.

In the distance, the disciple quarters were warmly lit. Cheerful

laughter drifted over, but none of it had anything to do with him. He

should've grown used to this long ago. But for some reason, his chest was

tight. Maybe it was because seeing the merriment of others made it harder to

return to his own solitude.

Quietly, Chu Wanning watched the fireworks bloom—one, two—and

listened to the voices of people wishing each other a happy New Year—

three, five.

Leaning against the tree, he closed his eyes, feeling a bit tired.

Chu Wanning wasn't sure how much time had passed, but he suddenly

felt an intrusion pass his barriers. His heart lurched, but he didn't dare open

his eyes. He heard the sound of breathing, slightly winded, and familiar

footsteps came to a stop not far away.

A young man's voice spoke, carrying a hint of hesitation. "Shizun."

Chu Wanning did not reply.

"I'll be leaving tomorrow."

He remained quiet.

"It's gonna be quite a while before I can come back."

Still no response.

"Actually, there's nothing going on tonight, and we have to get up early

tomorrow, so I think Shi Mei probably went to bed already."

The sound of footsteps came nearer and stopped very close.

"So, if you still want to, I…"

Though Mo Ran opened his mouth, the rest of the sentence was

swallowed by the bang of an especially large burst of fireworks.

Chu Wanning's eyelashes fluttered as he looked up. Backlit by the

splendid river of stars in the night sky and the scattering of fire flowers like

silver frost, a handsome young man stood before him, pitying and a little

bashful.

Chu Wanning remained silent. He had always been prideful, and he

didn't care for company born of pity. But right now, looking at Mo Ran,

words of refusal suddenly wouldn't emerge. Maybe the wine had gotten to

him too. Chu Wanning felt a sting in his chest, but also a warmth.

"Since you're already here, sit down with me," he said. Then he

added, softly, "I will watch with you."

He gazed up at the sky with an impassive expression, but the fingers

hidden in his sleeves had nervously curled. He didn't dare look closely at the

person beside him, instead fixing his eyes on the fireworks above, and at the

boundless night sprinkled with glittering brilliance.

"Has everyone been well these days?" Chu Wanning asked quietly.

"Mm-hmm," Mo Ran replied. "We became friends with a cute little

shidi—we mentioned him in a letter to Shizun. How is Shizun's injury?"

"It's nothing. Don't blame yourself."

A firework burst in the sky, scattering resplendently.

That night, fireworks and lanterns lit the sky, firecrackers crackled

nonstop, and the faint smell of smoke filled the snowy air. The two of them

welcomed the New Year underneath the flowering tree. Chu Wanning was a

man of few words, but Mo Ran continued to look for things to chat about until

he finally grew tired and fell asleep.

Early the next morning, Mo Ran woke up, still underneath the tree,

with his head in Chu Wanning's lap and a hefty but soft fur cloak covering

him. It was Chu Wanning's firefox cloak, smooth and exquisitely made.

A little startled, Mo Ran looked up to see Chu Wanning leaning against

the trunk of the tree, deep in slumber. His long eyelashes drooped over his

cheeks, quivering slightly with each breath like butterflies in the wind.

Had they really just fallen asleep under the tree like this? How had that

even happened? With Chu Wanning's obsessive-compulsive nature, he

should've gone back to his room to sleep no matter how tired he was. How

could he have been willing to settle for carelessly resting under a tree like

this? And this fur cloak… Had Chu Wanning covered him with it?

Mo Ran sat up, his ink-black hair a little disheveled. He stared,

draped in Chu Wanning's cloak, a bit mystified. He hadn't been that drunk

last night. Although some things were a little indistinct, he could more or less

remember most of it. Even running to the Red Lotus Pavilion of his own

accord to welcome the New Year with Chu Wanning had been a sober,

conscious choice.

Mo Ran had obviously hated Chu Wanning, once, but when he'd heard

him ask, "Do you want to go see the fireworks?" and when he had watched

him turn around forlornly to leave with his head lowered… He had, in fact,

felt an ache in his heart…

He'd thought, well, they wouldn't see one another again for a long time

anyway, and he didn't really feel much grievance toward him in this life, and

Chu Wanning was so lonely, so it was no big deal if Mo Ran kept him

company till the morning, once in a while. And so he had brazenly come to

join him.

When he thought back on it now, he felt like he was being really…

Chu Wanning woke up before he could finish the thought.

"Shizun," Mo Ran stammered.

"Mn." Chu Wanning rubbed his temple, his brows drawn slightly

together in the haze of having just woken up. "You…haven't left yet?"

"I—I just woke up." Lately, for some reason, every time Mo Ran

looked at Chu Wanning's impassive face, his silver tongue tied itself into a

knot.

Mo Ran was stock-still for a moment before suddenly remembering

that he was wearing Chu Wanning's cloak. He hurriedly took it off and

scrambled to wrap it around his shizun instead.

While draping the cloak over his shoulders, Mo Ran noticed that

although Chu Wanning wore several layers of clothing, his outfit was still a

bit thin without the cloak as the outer garment, especially in all this snow.

The thought made his movements even more frantic, and he ended up tying his

own finger into the knot while trying to fasten the tassel cord. Mo Ran stared

at his finger in bewilderment.

Chu Wanning glanced at him and reached out to untie it. "I'll do it

myself."

After a long moment, Mo Ran said, "Okay." And, appended in a

mumble, "Sorry."

"It's all right."

Mo Ran stood and hesitated. "Shizun, I have to go pack and eat

breakfast, and then I'll be setting out."

"Mn."

"Would you like to go get breakfast together?"

Pah! The second after Mo Ran said that, he wanted to bite his tongue

and die right that instant! The hell was wrong with him?! What had he done

that for?!

Maybe because he saw the regret that surfaced on Mo Ran's face

immediately after asking that, Chu Wanning paused, then said, "I'll pass. You

go ahead."

Mo Ran was deathly afraid that he might say something even more

outrageous if he stayed any longer. "I-I'm going, then…"

"All right."

After Mo Ran left, Chu Wanning sat expressionlessly under the tree for

a while longer before slowly getting up with a hand on the trunk for support,

but he didn't make any further movements. His legs were thoroughly numb

from having served as Mo Ran's pillow all night. With all the pins and

needles, he couldn't walk.

He stood there sullenly for a good while before his blood circulation

returned to normal and he could finally hobble his way back inside.

Sure enough, after spending the night outside in such bitterly frigid

weather, even with the haitang tree shielding them from the snow, he still

ended up catching a cold.

"Achoo!" Chu Wanning sneezed, the corners of his eyes already

reddening. He covered his nose with a handkerchief. Dammit…I probably…

caught a cold…

The Yuheng Elder, wielder of three holy weapons and the foremost

eminent zongshi who was sought after by all the sects of the cultivation

world. The mere sight of Tianwen tamed the four seas, and the white of his

robes bested all the colors of the world. He was such an impressive

character, he could even have been said to be the strongest cultivator of the

era.

Unfortunately, even the strongest person was bound to have a

weakness. Chu Wanning's was that he couldn't handle the chill and easily fell

ill if exposed.

Thus, when they set off from Sisheng Peak, not only had Chu-zongshi

turned small again after the pill wore off, but on top of that, he was sneezing

and sniffling nonstop.

And so, when the feathered tribe arrived at noon to escort them, they

were met with Xue Meng, Mo Ran, and Shi Mei, who were perfectly healthy,

and the pitiful little shidi "Xia Sini" who couldn't stop sneezing