The inscription on the stone beside Jincheng Lake read "The Path
Forward Is Difficult" in stark, scarlet script.
As before, Nangong Liu and Xu Shuanglin were the only living
people on the scene. Now, however, the ground was littered with the bodies
of countless dead. More specifically, countless dead merfolk.
"Hurry and seal the path; we don't want other cultivators coming up
the mountain. They'll have questions."
"I'm almost done." Xu Shuanglin pushed a black chess piece
between the lips of a limp merman and mouthed the words of a spell. The
merman rose unsteadily from the ground, bowed respectfully, then leapt
back into the ice-studded Jincheng Lake with a splash.
"I'm not yet proficient with this forbidden technique," said Xu
Shuanglin. "Once I get the hang of it, I won't have to feed them chess
pieces individually. I'll be able to point at them from afar and they'll do
whatever I say."
"It's that powerful?"
"Why would it be forbidden otherwise? In fact, even that kind of
control is only scratching the surface. I've seen someone…" Xu Shuanglin
paused and chuckled. "I mean, I've read about someone who could control
people while preserving their awareness, making them obey his orders of
their own volition. Now that's true power. As it stands, I can control their
bodies but not their minds. I've got a long way to go."
Nangong Liu nodded. "You shouldn't practice too much with it
anyway. Better not to attract attention."
"As you say, Sect Leader."
"Thank heavens you thought of this technique, though. If I'm to lift
the curse, I'll need to open the gate to the Infinite Hells, and to do that, I'll
require all five elemental spiritual essences: metal, wood, water, fire, and
earth. Finding the spiritual essences is the hard part—we can't just show up
at every sect and examine people one by one. But with Jincheng Lake under
your control, every cultivator who comes here looking for weapons will
reveal their spiritual cores to you. We can sit back and wait for them to
come to us."
Nangong Liu retrieved a tangerine from the saddlebag of the horse
next to him. He peeled it and began to eat, heaving a sigh of admiration.
"Shuanglin, all those mythical beings in Jincheng Lake didn't stand a
chance against you. You're brilliant."
"Jincheng Lake is a relic of the past," Xu Shuanglin replied with a
small smile. "After millions of years, the power of Gouchen the Exalted has
dissipated to almost nothing. That's the only reason someone like me can
manage all this. Sect Leader's praise is undeserved."
Nangong Liu laughed out loud. "Go on, tell me. What do you want as
a reward?"
"There isn't really anything I want."
"Nah, that won't do—you have to name something."
"Then how about Sect Leader gives me half a tangerine?"
Laughing again, Nangong Liu blinked. "That's it?" But he peeled
another tangerine and held it out to Xu Shuanglin. "Have the whole thing."
"Just half is enough." Xu Shuanglin smiled blandly. "I don't want
much."
"You know, you're a pretty strange guy. But sure, if you say so—
here's half."
Nangong Liu offered him a portion of the tangerine. Xu Shuanglin's
fingers were inconveniently stained with blood, so he took the tangerine
from Nangong Liu's fingertips with his teeth and chewed. "Sweet and juicy
—delicious," he grinned.
In that moment, Xu Shuanglin's smile beneath the sunlight held a
sinister shadow. The juice of the tangerine trickled from his lips, pooling at
the corners of his mouth. He licked it away, his tongue flicking out like a
viper mid-hiss. Nangong Liu jerked his hand back on instinct, as though
spooked. But the expression on his face was one of puzzled annoyance, as if
he himself had no idea what had scared him.
"Look at that," Xu Shuanglin said abruptly.
"What?" Nangong Liu tore his gaze away from Xu Shuanglin's face
to look. His eyes flew wide. A complicated expression surfaced on his
pudgy features. "It's…that creature…"
"The merlion piranha." Xu Shuanglin hauled the dead thing over,
tossing the corpse upon the rocky shore to examine it carefully. The
monster had the body of a fish and the head of a lion, its bloody fangs bared
in a pained grimace and its lifeless, dull-black eyes bulging in distress.
Xu Shuanglin dipped his finger into the blood on the piranha's body.
He gave it a whiff, and his bare toes curled subconsciously as he frowned.
"Ugh. That's vile."
He straightened and kicked the piranha away. "This should be quite
an uncommon creature in Jincheng Lake. It's said that Gouchen left behind
only auspicious creatures like dragons to guard the weapons in the lake, but
the passage of time has wrought many changes upon them. Even devils can
ascend and gods can fall, to say nothing of this humble creature."
Nangong Liu muttered, "Back then, this was the one that made me
offer up Rong Yan's heart…"
At this, the crowd outside the illusion stood stunned. Other than Chu
Wanning, who already knew the truth, all were shaken by this revelation.
"What?!"
"Rong Yan… But that's…that's…"
While some sputtered, others had already craned their necks to look
at Nangong Si in surprise and pity. "That's his…"
After Nangong Si's initial astonishment, he began trembling from
head to toe. Staggering backward, he crumpled to his knees. His face was
ashen, his expression ghastly to behold. "Mom? No way… No way!"
"A-Si…" Ye Wangxi tearfully murmured.
"No way!" Nangong Si's eyes were wild. His handsome face twisted
with fear and wrath, sorrow and shock, his features warping almost beyond
recognition. He couldn't understand what anyone was saying; he couldn't
hear anything at all. "That's impossible! My mom died fighting evil spirits!
Father told me, she was fighting evil spirits when they pierced her heart and
killed her!" He shuddered all over and mumbled, "Her heart was
destroyed… They stabbed her in the heart, and she died…"
He didn't cry, but his eyes were round as saucers, bulging from their
sockets. He hoarsely repeated those words over and over, first mumbling
and muttering, then spitting and shouting, before breaking into feral howls:
"They stabbed her! They stabbed her in the heart!"
A memory flashed before his eyes.
Nangong Si had been very young when his mother and father had set
out with a group of Rufeng cultivators to seek weapons from Jincheng
Lake. His memory of the evening before they left was distinct: he'd played
with Naobaijin in the forest behind the mountain until it was late. It was
long after nightfall when he crept back to his room to pretend he'd been
studying the whole time. Little did he know that his mother had stopped by
after dinner to give him a cloth quiver she had embroidered. Discovering
the young master's residence empty, she realized Nangong Si had snuck out
to play.
Rong Yan had a naturally cold disposition. She never doted on
Nangong Si like other mothers. When she returned to his quarters that
night, Nangong Si was holding up a volume of Carefree Wandering, making
a great show of reading it aloud. Rong Yan stopped him and asked, "What
did you do after dinner?"
Unaware that Rong Yan already knew he'd been slacking, Nangong
Si set down the scroll, scratched his head, and said brightly, "Mother, I—
I've been memorizing this book."
"All this time?"
The young Nangong Si was afraid of being punished. He stalled for a
moment before nodding, "Uh…uh-huh!"
Rong Yan straightened her slender neck and set her jaw. When she
looked at Nangong Si, her gaze was sharp and cold. "You're lying."
Nangong Si jumped. "Am not," he replied, blushing furiously.
Rong Yan didn't waste words on the child. She rolled up the bamboo
scroll and asked, "What comes before 'If the whole world blamed him, he
despaired not'?"
"'If the whole world…world…'"
"'If the whole world praised him, he rejoiced not!'" Rong Yan's
elegant brows lowered in a scowl. She slapped the scroll onto the table with
a crack. "Nangong Si, what have I always taught you?" she said sternly.
"It's one thing to run around outside after dark, but now you've learned to
tell lies?"
"Mom…"
"Silence!"
In the face of her anger, Nangong Si panicked. Although his father
was easy-going and affable, between his parents, he'd always had more
respect for his haughty and severe mother.
"Your behavior is unacceptable."
The rims of Nangong Si's eyes reddened against his will. Terrified of
an even harsher scolding, he retorted, still clinging to hope, "I—I didn't get
back that late. I just played outside for a little after dinner."
Rong Yan glared at him. She hadn't been all that angry to begin with,
but watching her son rack his brain for excuses deepened her irritation into
fury and disappointment.
"As soon as it got dark, I came—"
A sharp slap across the face cut Nangong Si off mid-sentence. Chest
heaving, Rong Yan's hand hung in the air as she cried furiously, "Nangong
Si! 'As a gentleman of Rufeng Sect, I mustn't indulge in greed, resentment,
deception, slaughter, obscenity, plunder, or conquest.' Have you forgotten
this entirely? Are you going to stand here and lie to your mother?"
Dazed from the slap, Nangong Si took a long moment to come back
to his senses. His eyes pricked with tears of indignation as he wailed, "Wh
why would I lie if you weren't so mean? You're always hitting me and
yelling at me… You're horrible! I don't like you! I only like Daddy!" He
jumped to his feet, ready to run off to find Nangong Liu.
"Don't even think about it!" Rong Yan yanked him back with an ugly
expression. She tapped Nangong Si on the nose with a nail painted scarlet
with cardamom, anger surging in her eyes. "What's your dad going to do?
He nods yes to everything all day long, worthless bootlicker that he is. Do
you really want to be like him? Sit down!"
"I won't! I won't!"
Rong Yan gritted her teeth and dragged the struggling child back onto
his chair. But as soon as she let go, Nangong Si tried to make another
escape. At last, Rong Yan had no choice but to raise her hand and bring
down a restraining barrier with a crash. The barrier held the child firmly in
place. Nangong Si fell to his knees, humiliated and furious, panting like a
caged beast.
"Lemme go! I don't want a mother like you! You… You never say a
kind word to me! You don't care about me, you just yell at me… All you
ever do is yell at me!"
Rong Yan's face turned red and then white. After a long pause, she
said through trembling lips, "Stay in your room and behave. Memorize
Carefree Wandering from beginning to end—I will test you tomorrow. Keep
making trouble, and I'll…" She found herself at a loss. What would she do?
She really didn't know. She'd always been a spirited and iron-willed
woman; she thought nothing of reprimanding her craven husband in public
to put him in his place.
But when it came to Nangong Si…what would she do?
She stood for a while, bitter and resentful, sorrowful and exasperated.
As rage curdled her heart, she began to cough violently. It was an old illness
that had plagued her for many years; after a spate of coughing, she hacked
out a mouthful of dark blood. Feigning nonchalance, she wiped her mouth
clean with a handkerchief before Nangong Si noticed.
"Si-er, you are young," she said, her voice hoarse and somber. "You
haven't learned to see what's good or bad, what's right or wrong, with your
own eyes. Sometimes, those who indulge you don't have your best interests
at heart, and those who are strict with you may not wish you ill. Your father
is weak and incompetent, he…" She paused. "I don't want you to become a
cultivator or sect leader like him," she finished.
Nangong Si bit his lip in silence.
"Yes, you're a troublemaker and you don't apply yourself to your
studies—these are small things. But where did you learn to lie? Our Rufeng
Sect is built upon centuries of storied tradition. Only by maintaining the
values of gentlemen can we stand at the forefront of the cultivation world.
Your father has never earnestly taught you these principles, but as your
mother, I will remind you of them every time. Even if you don't listen, even
if you think I'm harsh, even if you hate me for it."
"If Daddy doesn't teach me, that's because he sees me as Si-er. He's
happy when I'm happy, unlike you!" Nangong Si snapped. "What kind of
mother are you?! You only see me as Rufeng Sect's young master and the
future sect leader! I never have any fun with you! I'm not gonna listen to
you!"
Rong Yan was furious. Her cheeks, usually white as snow, were
unnaturally flushed. She covered her mouth with the handkerchief as she
was overcome by another coughing fit. This time, it took her longer to catch
her breath. At last she said sternly, "Fine. If you won't listen, I'll tell you
every single day until you understand."
Nangong Si, surpassingly stubborn even as a child, had clapped his
hands over his ears.
Rong Yan sat down and gradually smoothed her emotions, but her
chest still twinged with pain. This old heart injury was one she had
sustained while exorcising demons. She took medicine for it every day, but
it only worsened with time. When she looked up and saw her son's
rebellious expression in the candlelight, she had to again close her eyes.
Finally, she said in a more measured tone, "Si-er, I won't be by your
side forever. There will come a day when I can't watch over you. I only
hope that in the future, you'll understand…" She trailed off. Within her
barrier, Nangong Si was curled into a tiny ball, crying. Her child, her
carefree and bright Si-er, had begun to sob under the force of her scolding.
For a long while, Rong Yan could only stare. Slowly, she rose and
walked over to the barrier. She reached out, wanting to undo the spell, to
lean down and take this child in her arms, to touch his reddened face, to
press a kiss to his forehead.
But she restrained herself, her figure stiff and unrelenting. With
effort, she finished the sentence she had started: "You need to understand…
'As a gentleman of Rufeng Sect, I mustn't indulge in greed, resentment,
deception, slaughter, obscenity, plunder, or conquest.'"
"I don't get it, I don't want to, I… I…" Lifting tearful eyes, Nangong
Si railed at his mother who stood outside the barrier. "I hate you! I don't
want a mom like you!"
Rong Yan was silent. In that moment, her face, visible through the
barrier, was pale and resolute as ever, yet seemed to contain a measure of
grief and heartbreak.
For twenty years, Nangong Si had seen that face in his dreams. Each
time, his pillow was wet when he awoke. His younger self was like a
scorpion brandishing its pincers, injecting venom straight into his mother's
heart.
It hurt. It hurt so much. It was a pain that would persist for a lifetime;
he would never forgive himself.
Three days later, Rong Yan still hadn't come to the residence to see
Nangong Si. Instead, she asked her maid to deliver the quiver embroidered
with camellia flowers, along with a letter. Even her writing was formal and
solemn, unadorned with niceties. She said that she knew Si-er had recently
been learning martial arts and taken a liking to archery, so she'd
embroidered a quiver for his use. She would be traveling to Jincheng Lake
with his father. Upon her return, she still intended to review Carefree
Wandering with him, and she hoped he wouldn't continue to stubbornly
shirk his studies.
And what had Nangong Si done? Angry and resentful, he had taken a
knife and cut his mother's quiver into countless scraps. He had tossed his
mother's letter into the fire and burned it to ash. He had ripped up the copy
of Carefree Wandering on his table.
As a young child, he had delighted in these daring acts of destruction.
He lashed out at her. He hated her. He wanted her to know that he'd never,
ever listen to such a terrible mother. He would never bend to her will, he…
He'd bared his venomous fangs and erected his walls. He waited for
his mother to humble herself before him, to admit her mistakes. Or…
perhaps, back then, he'd summoned this pathetic burst of malevolence as a
tool to trade for a single gentle word, a single warm embrace from his
mother.
So he waited.
But he never received any of those things. An admission of
wrongdoing or a hug, some show of remorse or gentleness—he would've
accepted anything. He had stood his ground, quite self-satisfied, waiting to
fight another round with that woman—only to receive, instead, her cold
corpse.
"Rufeng Sect's leader was ambushed in the forest late at night. His
wife shielded him from the attack. She was stabbed in the heart and passed
away."
When the coffin arrived, Nangong Si stood dazed at the foot of
Rufeng Sect's towering city gate. The ground was littered in white silk and
paper money. As the heir to the sect, his place was at the front of the
procession. According to funeral customs, after an elder shattered an
earthenware pot, the madam's coffin would be carried over a fire pit and re
enter the sect. Her son was to kneel and cry, knocking his head against the
ground, to welcome back his mother's soul.
But Nangong Si couldn't cry. He felt the whole thing was absurd,
empty and unreal. The brilliant sunlight dazzled his eyes as it glanced off
the ground. He felt dizzy and nauseated.
It wasn't real.
It wasn't real!
If it were real, what should he do? How could he possibly accept it?
Before death had separated them, the last reminder his mother had given
him was this: As a gentleman of Rufeng Sect, I mustn't indulge in greed,
resentment, deception, slaughter, obscenity, plunder, or conquest.
And how had he answered her? He didn't want to remember, but his
hateful cries from that day had been carved into his bones. His mother's
face outside the barrier had been so pained, so sorrowful.
It hurt…
It really hurt too much. The last words he had said to his mother in
this lifetime were…
I hate you.
I don't want a mom like you.
The coffin was hoisted over the fire. The elder smashed the
earthenware pot, thousands knelt and wept, and his father choked with sobs
at the side of the casket. But Nangong Si stood alone, clutching that
camellia quiver he had cut to pieces. Its embroidered petals were a vivid
red, the stamens canary yellow. The flowers it depicted were dusted with
snow yet flourished nonetheless, as though his mother's warm fingertips
had but touched the coarse fabric and awoken these brilliant blooms.
Perhaps she'd had some premonition before her death, or perhaps it was
only happenstance—her embroidery was so detailed, the flowers so lifelike,
that it seemed she had taken all the love she hadn't spoken aloud, all her
future lessons and advice, and stitched them, thread by thread, onto that
little cloth quiver.
Nangong Si clutched the quiver tightly. It was the very last thing his
mother had left for him.