Embracing the unknown

Edmund kept his eyes on the road, his glasses shimmered in the dim light, as building after building passed by us. All the way there, I kept wondering where Edmund lived. We never let go of each other's hands, even though mine began to sweat, and made me feel embarrassed, but he didn't seem to mind. The car's interior was warm; he had been considerate enough to heat up my seat before we got in. His Mercedes smelled of leather, complemented by his personal cologne. I could sense notes of lavender, mind, fruity and spicy notes. I made a mental note to find out which one it was and buy it as soon as possible. I longed to keep a piece of him with me.

After about ten minutes of driving, I was surprised when he veered off the seaside highway. The ocean looked particularly stormy and cold; a perception probably heightened by the snowstorm. Another five minutes passed before we reached a lavish skyscraper overlooking the sea. Honestly, I wasn't surprised. I had learned not to be astonished by Edmund's wealth long ago, but the building was still a beautiful sight to behold. He took a turn around the corner, descending to the apartment's parking lot. The gates opened as soon as they recognized the car and let us through. Every car parked there was as luxurious as Edmund's, some even more so. I'm not a car expert, but I noticed a Bugatti, a few BMWs, a Volvo, and other cars that looked fancy to me, even though I didn't recognize their brands.

Edmund parked the car in his assigned spot and broke the silence that dominated the car, since we left the University. "If I asked you to stay in the car, would you?" he asked, his face bearing a solemn expression. I was nonplussed but trusting his judgment, I nodded in response. He removed his glasses, placed them in the car's compartment, and stepped out of the vehicle. The warm air inside engulfed me. I watched him through the dark-tinted windows as he circled the car and opened the door for me.

Looking up at him, I saw a chivalrous expression graced by a smug grin. "I could very well open the door for myself," I protested, but felt flattered by the gesture, nonetheless.

"I like being a good host and this is part of it," he replied, closing the car door behind me once I had stepped out.

"Fair enough," I told him, unable to suppress a smile. He was every bit the gentleman I expected him to be, effortlessly living up to my expectations without even realizing I had any. I chalked it up to his natural charm.

The temperature in the parking area was frigid, prompting us to make a beeline for the elevators. Noticing my discomfort, he asked, "Are you cold?"

"No, I'll be fine," I replied. I hadn't intended to prompt any specific reaction, but he wrapped his arm around me, sharing his warmth. "Edmund's warmth," I thought to myself, feeling slightly lightheaded. We rode the elevator up to the first floor, where we were greeted by the receptionist.

"Mr. Plaintgenet, I saw your car entering the parking area, through the vigilance cameras. Heading to your penthouse, am I right?" The receptionist asked Edmund, who confirmed his guess.

The main reception area was stylishly modern and well-furnished, carpeted in a subtle alpine green. There were two different sets of elevators; we had just emerged from the pair designated for residents accessing from the parking area. Opposite these, other elevators would transport you to the various floors of the building. Turning to the right, we found the reception desk situated beside a grand piano. One of the entrances featured elegant rotating doors flanked by massive metal and glass-paneled doors.

To the left of the rotating doors entrance, a space equipped with Nordic-style sofas and couches, coffee tables, and an assortment of magazines was available for residents needing a brief rest. On the opposite side, there was a restaurant café, furnished with tables and seats designed for comfort and matching the building's aesthetic. The restaurant was situated behind the elevators, stretching across the entire width of the building, which extended the length of the block. On the far end of the cafeteria and restaurant, a sleek, open-concept kitchen boasted modern stainless-steel fixtures. A second main entrance had been thoughtfully designed for customers not residing in the building. Those coming from the main avenue could use this entrance, ensuring they wouldn't disturb the residents who entered either through the revolving front doors or the parking spot elevators.

"Penthouse?" I asked Edmund under my breath. I felt him shiver but received no response. Instead, he addressed the clerk, "I'll make sure you get a handsome tip, sir." After expressing his gratitude and looking pleased, the clerk guided us to another elevator that whisked us straight to the top floor.

The ascent was quicker than I anticipated. It took just about a minute to reach the 49th floor. As a claustrophobic person, the closing of the elevator doors immediately numbed my senses. The air felt oppressive and stifling, leaving no room for me to breathe. The spaciousness of the elevator provided some relief, with mirrors on both sides and doors at opposing ends creating the illusion of a larger space. I was used to deal with these situations; inhaling and exhaling deeply three times seemed to clear my mind. Just as I started to feel better, the doors opened, and we stepped into Edmund's apartment.

Finally, the moment I'd been dreaming of for so long was within reach. I pondered how much of my previous reaction was due to my claustrophobia and how much was due to the anticipation of arriving here. Perhaps it was a combination of both. I had to admit, this didn't happen to me all the time. In fact, the first elevator ride we took to reach the reception was so swift that I had virtually no time to stress over it.

The sight that greeted us was a stunning, breathtaking, and spacious open plan living and dining room. The decor was modern and complemented the spectacular view from the enormous, thick glass panel windows that overlooked the city. The view extended out to a spacious balcony, enclosed by a glass railing. At the far end of the living room was a set of gray leather sofas and a dark metal coffee table with a marble top, nestled on a plush rug. Classical paintings adorned the area, undoubtedly Edmund's personal touch.

On the other end of the room was a dark wood dining table, possibly oak, surrounded by stylish chairs. Adjacent to it was a glass door that led to a room featuring an impressive desk and shelves that lined the walls. Still in awe, I stood still as Edmund removed his overcoat and hung it in a closet next to the elevator.

"Levi, may I take your coat, please?" he asked in a polite and courteous tone. I nodded, albeit frozen by the grandeur of the surroundings. He approached me, gently removed my overcoat, and hung it next to his in the closet. The warmth of the apartment was a welcome contrast to the raging snowstorm visible outside, already depositing a thick layer of snow on the balcony.

"Would you like a house tour?" he asked in a low tone, patiently awaiting my reaction to the impressive scene. I thought I couldn't be surprised by anything Edmund had to show me, but so far, he proved me wrong each time.

"Absolutely," I replied and nodded. He led me to his study and opened the door.

"This is where I study," he said. The room was as I had seen it through the glass door: a grand, well-restored desk took center stage, and bookshelves lined the surrounding walls. In one corner, adjacent to the window that overlooked the city and the balcony, sat a baby grand piano. It was a charming touch that truly reflected Edmund's personality. "I love to study. These are the books I find most fascinating, they encompass a wealth of human knowledge," he explained, his enthusiasm infectious. He seemed to be reveling in this experience just as much as I was.

"Impressive," I echoed his sentiment. "What's beyond that door?" I pointed to the other door to the right.

"Oh, this way," he said, opening the door. "This hallway leads either to the bathroom, kitchen, back to the living room or the common space for the bedrooms. I usually just call it the common place," he explained. We stepped into the hallway, and he showed me the luxurious bathroom on the left. It featured a marble-like basin and bathtub, and a large round mirror that reminded me of the one in Snow White. It seemed enchanted, somehow. I chuckled to myself, marveling and imagining Edmund asking it who the fairest boy in all the land was. The answer was evident.

Next, he led me to the kitchen. It was as opulent as the rest of the penthouse, boasting a black granite countertop, a stainless-steel refrigerator, and a modern electric oven. There was also a round table with a glass top and white wooden chairs. The windows above the kitchen countertop provided a view of the side street where we had parked, with a glimpse of the sea in the distance.

From the adjacent doorway in the kitchen, we moved on to what he called the common place. This area was, to me, the most impressive and quickly became my favorite. As soon as we stepped in, I couldn't help but exclaim, "Wow!" The room was truly breathtaking. A set of couches and armchairs upholstered in cyber grape velvet were set atop a plush grey carpet and centered the area. The room was lined with more impressive bookshelves, one of which housed a state-of-the-art TV. Massive glass paneled windows and doors revealed another balcony with an unobstructed view of the sea. In the midst of the raging storm, the ocean roared defiantly. For some reason, it seemed to mirror my feelings. On the opposite end of the room were the other doors to the elevator I had remarked earlier, offering a discreet exit without passing through the living and dining areas.

"Would you like to see my bedroom?" Edmund asked, extending his hand towards me. I took it, and he led me to a door on the right. Stepping in, I noticed a walk-in closet to the right, and straight ahead was an en-suite bathroom, just as inviting as the first, but with the addition of a jacuzzi. Edmund's bedroom was to the left, featuring a king-sized bed and another large TV. The windows here also looked out onto the sea. I stood in awe, contemplating how a mere mortal like myself could live in such lavish surroundings. The opulence was overwhelming.

Lastly, he showed me the remaining bedroom, across the common room. It was very similar to his, albeit slightly smaller and without a TV. It also featured a king-sized bed, a walk-in closet, and an en-suite bathroom, with both rooms sharing access to the ocean-facing balcony.

We returned to the common space and settled onto the plush, dark purple velvet couches. I folded my left leg under my right knee when Edmund broke the silence.

"So, what did you think? Do you like where I live?" he asked, a sincere tone in his voice. A spark of happiness danced in his eyes; he was as thrilled to be here with me as I was with him. This was a dream I'd held onto for a long time, and now it was fulfilled. We had overcome another step, and though I knew there would be many more challenges to face, I felt confident that we could face anything as long as we were together.

"You kidding, right? This place is amazing. I've never been somewhere this beautiful in my life. The decor is impeccable," I confessed, feeling a blush creep up my cheeks. I was a slightly embarrassed; I could never match his opulence.

"Yeah, I know," he said, gazing out at the stormy sea. "I told my parents this was too lavish, but they just don't listen to me, I guess," he replied. I wondered how much he genuinely enjoyed his life. He was very generous, but due to his reserved personality and aloofness, I didn't think he would attract any opportunistic people.

"Do you also have a cook and cleaning service?" I asked, expecting a positive answer.

"Oh, God no. That was something I put my foot down about with my parents. I make my own food and I'm quite good at it," he replied, making a face, but there was a hint of pride in his expression. "I do have a cleaning service, though," he added. After a moment of silence passed, he said "I'll go make some tea. I'll be right back, Levi," he said and rose from the couch. As he moved past me, he gently squeezed my upper arm, a comforting gesture. I remained seated, gazing out at the ocean and noting that its color was very similar to Edmund's eyes. I wondered how many more similarities they shared. Like the ocean, Edmund could be both fierce and gentle.

I remembered that time when Tyler, our classmate, had wanted to join our group, but Edmund had made it clear that it was only going to be the two of us. I chuckled to myself, recalling how even then, when we were just getting to know each other, Edmund had shown such preference for me. I often wondered what he saw in me, especially given that he never seemed troubled by loneliness during the rest of our time at school. He always kept to himself but was unfailingly polite on the rare occasions that others approached him. It seemed people were intimidated by him, and I could understand why. He was an awe-striking man, with hair that shone like the sun. I sighed inwardly, realizing I was slipping away. Unsure how much longer I was going to be able to maintain the facade of being just a platonic friend.

My reverie was broken when Edmund reappeared, carrying a tray laden with beautiful and delicate china teacups and a teapot.

"Am I interrupting something?" he asked as he took a seat next to me on the sofa, likely noticing my deep concentration.

"No, absolutely not," I replied, adjusting my position on the couch as he placed the tray on the coffee table.

 "May I ask you something?" I said.

"Ask as many questions as you wish," he replied as I took my teacup and added three spoonfuls of sugar.

"Why are you so self-conscious about your… wealth?" I asked him. It was something I had noticed; he always seemed to struggle, either with his car or with his lifestyle, despite being as generous he was.

"Because I know there are many people with needs. I don't like flaunting that I'm able to afford, or rather, my parents can afford, certain material things that others can't. I don't like the idea of people changing their opinion of me. And since we're discussing this, I'll take the opportunity to reveal something else to you about me. When we had our first dinner at that restaurant overlooking the sea, I was worried. I was concerned that you would change the way you viewed me after seeing my car. Nevertheless, I still wanted you to enjoy a good dinner, so I chose something nice without being excessively opulent," he confessed. To say the truth, I was dumbfounded. What he was saying wasn't news to me. I already knew he struggled with displaying wealth, but the fact that he called the restaurant he chose "not excessively opulent" was pretty amusing. However, I decided not to pull his leg too bad over it.

"I noticed on more than one occasion that you were nervous about it. I also definitely noticed your concern when we walked to your parking spot at uni. However, calling that restaurant you took me to "not excessively opulent" is... something else," I replied, chuckling softly. I noticed how he seemed more relaxed than usual, reclining on the couch with one arm draped over the backrest.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Sometimes, I have trouble recognizing what might seem excessive to others. I didn't mean to…" he apologized, avoiding to meet my gaze and looking out towards the windows. I didn't mean to unsettle him; he was beginning to open up, and I felt guilty. I berated myself as I pondered how to comfort him.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable," I said. "What about it troubles you?"

"Levi, I realize now that you barely know my life story. It would be a lot easier if you knew more about it. You would understand why certain things come more easily to me, while others are more challenging. Would you like to hear it?" He asked me.

"Absolutely," I replied, taking a sip from my tea.

"I'm not from here. I grew up in a small village called Adlebrook, surrounding my family's manor, near Phoenixfall. My parents have an ancient firm that dates back to the 18 hundreds. My ancestors established one of the first banks in this country, serving as a basis for today's banking system. Nowadays, we have bank branches across the country and in some foreign countries as well," he explained, blushing subtly — something I had never seen him do before.

"Wait" I interrupted him, "did you just say Phoenixfall? I heard that city is awe striking, ancient and massive. I would love to go there, one day," I hinted, and he nodded in acknowledgment.

"My father, Charles Plaintgenet, married my mother, a member of the affluent Delacroix family. She inherited a significant stake in her family's company, a modern, yet highly successful enterprise," he paused.

"What does her company do?" I inquired.

"Well, they're one of the few companies that mass-produce vaccines, medicines, and supplies for hospitals, laboratories, and pharmacies. All of this is managed by our firm, directed by both of my parents," he replied.

"And how did you learn to play music?"

"Since I was young, I took an interest in it. My mother, Clarisse, promptly introduced me to the piano. Initially, she taught me herself, but as she was often busy with work, she ensured that I had prestigious instructors to teach me to play and create my own music. By my sixth birthday, my parents gifted me my first piano —a Steinway grand piano, that became the centerpiece of my music room. I still have it to this day," he said, a hint of pride shimmered on his face.

"What was it like to live with such am affluent and important family?" I asked, my eyes wide with intrigue.

"As I grew up, my parents ensured that I was properly introduced to the aristocratic society. Even as a child, I knew how to be polite, charming, and dazzling when needed. I was taught etiquette early on and was taken to important business meetings, high society parties, and social gatherings. Although I was well-prepared to excel in these areas, my school, despite being private due to my location, was not a supportive environment," he answered

 "That must have been pretty hard for you, Edmund. I'm sorry," I added.

 "I found myself craving more knowledge and spent hours studying in our family's library. Naturally, my school years were excellent academically, but they weren't easy. Even though, at first, I was an outgoing kid, I tried applying the same manners and charm I was taught at home and at the various meetings I attended with my parents, but you know how kids can be. I was bullied a lot. Even when my parents withdrew school funding, paying only for tuition, the school authorities did nothing about it. This continued until I was homeschooled. I had always been ahead in school, but those years were very difficult for me," he narrated, but as he did, he looked down and then out to towards the ocean. I could tell that this was a soft topic for him. He must have really struggled. Reaching out, I took his hand; he looked up at me and nodded.

"Were you lonely often? Personally, that was something I always struggled with, in my childhood, since my parents were out most of the time… working. Well, that was until Jared came along; taking care of him really helped me, in those early years," I shared a little bit more of my early life with him, just as he was.

"At home, it was just my twin sister, Eva, and me. We've always had a wonderful relationship, but she wasn't home most of the time because, unlike me, she had a vibrant social life. She was accepted at school, which wasn't my experience, unfortunately. After I was homeschooled and stayed home, despite the presence of numerous household staff, I often felt a sense of solitude and longing. The house seemed empty because it was. My parents were always working, and Eva was either at school, with her current boyfriend, or with friends. To mitigate this loneliness, I dedicated myself to studying music, learning about the human mind, and finding ways to help mankind."

"Yeah, how did you become interested in helping others? Could you tell me more about that?" I interrupted him, curiosity got the better of me.

"Haha" he laughed, and resumed talking, "I read all the social books in my family's extensive library, and for my 14th birthday, I persuaded my parents to establish a foundation in our family's name. Since then, I've made sure we make donations every month. I'm aware that not many people can live the way we do, and I want to help as much as I can. Fortunately, the foundation is prospering. It has numerous volunteers and staff members who helped make my teenage wish a reality. We've even expanded throughout the country, helping those who need us most," he concluded. I couldn't help but be moved by his words. I'd always known he was much more than met the eye. His philanthropy didn't surprise me. He was a good person. There were no doubts about it, period.

"And then, how did you end up here in Empiria?"

"If you would be so kind to let me finish…" he suddenly sported a devilish grin, "I finished high school when I was 16 years old. I started attending a two-year program about Human Rights and Social Change at Midnight Sun University, and I've been living here ever since. At first, since I was a minor, my parents designated a guardian to live with me, and that used to be her bedroom," he said, pointing towards the other end of the common space. "Ever since I turned 18 years old, she left, and now I've been living on my own. Sometimes, Eva comes to visit, but it's not often enough," he added, as a deep sense of anguish settled over him. I squeezed his hand a little harder in response, trying to comfort him as much as I was able to. "This year, I started our Psychology program, and as you well know, I never wanted to interact with anyone… until I met you, that is. Meeting you has changed everything, Levi," he confessed, wrapping up his life story.

"That was very very moving, Edmund. Thank you for sharing that with me," I responded. "If meeting me changed everything, then why did you take so long to talk to me? I don't understand," I asked, genuinely curious. We spent two months merely exchanging glances before we were somewhat forced to interact.

"I'll be honest with you. Ever since I laid eyes on you, I've been struggling with my nature. Since I was little, I learned I could be my own company, and I didn't need anyone else. It proved to be true, for a very long time, at least. But then, when I saw you, I was immediately… umm… drawn, we could say," his voice faltered, his relaxed position becoming rigid. Watching him become embarrassed was quite endearing to me.

"Are you telling me you like me?" I asked him while I half smiled, feeling my cheeks heat up as I blushed.

"Isn't that obvious?" He replied. "Are we not holding hands now?" He made a good point.

"I like you too," I confessed. "A lot," I added, ruffling my hair as I felt the urge to avoid eye contact.

"Well, isn't that wonderful?" He said, smiling warmly at me. His smile made my heart skip in my chest, quickening its rhythmic beats and spreading a gentle warmth through me.

"I'd really like to see what you looked like as a boy. Do you have pictures" I asked him.

"Oh, sure," he replied. "I'll be right back. They're probably either in my study or in my bedroom." He stood up and headed towards his room. I looked outside and noticed that the snowstorm had passed, and the ocean had finally calmed.

"Found them!" He shouted from the other room.

He returned to the common space, a stack of loose pictures in one hand and an album in the other. Settling back onto the couch, as he began showing me the photographs.

"So, this is me when I was a baby," he explained. I could swear he was the cutest little baby I had ever seen. He wasn't overly plump, but his skin had a pinkish hue, and his auburn hair was just starting to grow. I looked at his full, red lips, longing to reach out and plant a kiss. For a full minute. A big surprise it would be, I determined. I grinned and in response I bit down my own lip, hard.

"Now this is my family," he said, breaking my reverie, proceeding to show me a picture of all his family members. His parents were standing behind their two children, each maintaining a clear space around themselves. His father was tall, and certain features, like his straight nose, that mirrored Edmund's. His mother, of average height, sported long, red-blonde hair. His sister was almost his exact replica, but female, just as stunning as he was. Then there was Edmund, the cutest of kids. He could've easily been a child model. I was genuinely impressed.

"Wow," I said, "This is beautiful. You were beautiful." I flirted a little, and he simply looked away and blushed, then he playfully pushed me, taking me aback. I readjusted my position on the couch, smiling to myself as I continued to peruse the photos, watching Edmund age into the man he is today. I reclined on the couch, a soft sigh escaping my lips as a wave of contentment settled inside me. A gentle smile kept playing across my face, reflecting the joy that coursed through my veins.

Glancing at my phone, I realized it was already 9 pm. My stomach rumbled—we hadn't yet had dinner. The whole day had been spent with Edmund; time had flown by.

"It's so late!" I exclaimed. "And I'm hungry," I giggled.

"Alright, you're staying for dinner. You'll taste my cuisine tonight," he declared without even asking me. Standing up, he made his way to the kitchen. I followed him with my gaze until he disappeared from the common place. I continued riffling through the pictures until I came across one featuring Edmund with a teenage girl. Both were teenagers, but their closeness suggested something more than friendship. In the photo, he looked rigid, while the girl stared at him in awe, her arm slung around his waist.

I took a photo of the image with my phone, deciding to ask him about it another time. That picture disquieted me and gave me a lot to ponder. My hands trembled ever so slightly as I stared into the distance. A weight of sadness suddenly settled heavily on my shoulders, tugging at my heartstrings with each passing moment. I furrowed my brow, losing myself in deep thought, my gaze fixed on nothing in particular.

"Levi, come here! Look!" He shouted from the kitchen. I stood up and joined him.

I managed to successfully put all the intrusive thoughts aside and enjoy my time with Edmund. We spent the rest of the evening cooking together and enjoying dinner. He whipped up some delicious tacos and uncorked a bottle of wine. I must admit, I drank a little more than I should have, but it helped me to. completely disregard that disconcerting picture I had found, for a while, at least. It was useful as an anesthetic for the pain. I wondered what it all meant. He had finally admitted that he liked me, and now I had discovered that he had—or maybe still has —a girlfriend. My eyes moistened.

After we finished dinner, he escorted me home, ensuring that I entered the apartment building safely. It was late, and my roommate Jacob was already fast asleep. I found myself hoping he'd had a good day. "I'll make sure to ask him tomorrow," I thought to myself.

The rest of the week passed quickly, my anxiety escalating with each passing day. I didn't know how much longer I could postpone discussing the picture. The truth was, I didn't have the courage. I saw him almost every day, but I just couldn't bring myself to bring it up. It felt intrusive, like I was prying into something that wasn't mine to question, making a mountain out of a molehill. And yet, no matter how much I tried to rationalize it, the doubt festered.

My dreams became a nightly theater of torment. I saw him slipping away, always toward the same woman—beautiful, elegant, someone I could never compete with. She belonged to his world in a way I never could, someone who matched him in wealth and status. I would wake up breathless, drenched in sweat, my heart pounding with the terrible certainty that he was already gone.

By Wednesday afternoon, after another sleepless night, I decided I couldn't keep living like this. I needed peace. I needed answers.

Aimee had gone home early, feeling sick, leaving me alone with Edmund as we walked down the steps of the Humanities Department. It was the perfect opportunity.

"Edmund, there's something I need to talk to you about," I said, forcing the words out before my courage failed me.

He turned to me immediately, brows furrowing. "What is it, Levi?"

I hesitated for only a moment before pulling my phone from my pocket. "The other day at your apartment, when we were looking through your photos, I came across one that…" I trailed off, flipping through my gallery until I found it.

As soon as he saw it, his expression changed.

"Oh." His voice was quiet, the word barely escaping his lips. His whole posture tensed, like he had been caught off guard. "I didn't know I still had that picture." A flicker of something unreadable passed over his face. "Can we talk somewhere else? People are staring."

I glanced around and realized he was right. A few students lingered nearby, their curiosity barely concealed. As soon as Edmund spoke, they scattered, pretending they hadn't been listening.

I shook my head, ignoring them. "No, please." My voice cracked, my emotions threatening to spill over.

He took a deep breath. "Let's go to our Grove, Levi. Please?"

Despite my hesitation, I followed. The walk felt heavier than usual, the silence between us suffocating. We passed the Pantheon Library, moving along the winding path that led into the trees.

When we reached our familiar spot, we pushed through the bushes, as we always did—but something felt different this time.

Snow blanketed the Grove, covering the once-green grass and dusting the branches of our ancient Tree. The cold was sharp, biting. And yet, despite the frost, the Tree's leaves still glowed, their golden light defying the season's cruelty.

The sight should have brought me peace. Instead, my chest ached. The storm inside me refused to be quelled.

I stopped, hugging my arms around myself, struggling to breathe past the lump in my throat.

"Levi," Edmund finally spoke, his voice hesitant. "Don't jump to conclusions. She's nothing to me now."

I said nothing.

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "When I was sixteen, right after high school, my parents introduced me to her. We met at some social event. She was graceful, feminine, from an influential family. My parents were eager to push us together. They said it would be good for business, that her family could be a valuable ally."

His hands curled into fists. "I was young. I let them pressure me into courting her. She responded well, and before I knew it, we were in a relationship. But the truth is—I never loved her. I couldn't. I tried to force it, but no matter what, I couldn't reciprocate her feelings."

He exhaled sharply. "You don't have to worry about her, Levi. I don't even know why I still have that picture."

A weight lifted from my chest, but something else took its place. Jealousy. I could never provide him with the kind of security she could. More than that, the realization hit me—Edmund was interested in girls too. I had never asked, never thought about it much. But now, it unsettled me.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Edmund," I said slowly, my voice barely above a whisper. "I really like you. More than just a friend."

Despite the cold, my face burned.

He hesitated. "So do I, Levi."

I searched his expression. "But?"

His eyes darkened, torn between emotions I couldn't name. "But I just can't… I've been struggling for so long with my feelings for you. My feelings about myself."

He ran a hand through his hair, his frustration clear. "What will people say if they see me with another boy? We go to a religious university, Levi. My family—what will they think? I just—I don't know how to handle this. I don't know how to control it, how to adapt to it."

His voice broke, filled with quiet desperation. "I don't know how to love you the way you deserve."

The words landed like a punch to the gut.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered. Then, just like that, he turned and walked away.

I stared at his retreating back, heart hammering, tears flowing.

"Edmund."

He didn't stop. Panic rose inside me.

"Think of me as a friend…" My voice was shaking, but I pushed forward. "Yet keep me closer."

That made him stop.

He turned, his expression unreadable, but something flickered in his stormy eyes. Snowflakes clung to his auburn hair, his breath visible in the freezing air. He looked at me, really looked at me. And then, as if pulled by something beyond reason, he stepped forward.

He was close. Closer than ever. His face strikingly beautiful against the backdrop of the snowy landscape.

His hands reached out, his thumbs brushing against my cheeks, wiping away the tears.

"Shh," he murmured, his voice impossibly soft.

His gaze locked onto mine, a direct line to my very soul, and I knew. I knew what was about to happen.

His hands, firm yet careful, cradled my face. His eyes fell closed. Slowly.

I closed mine.

And then, his lips pressed against mine.

It was everything and nothing all at once. Gentle but searing, soft and consuming. My entire body felt light, like I might float away. Colors flashed through my mind, memories crashing into me all at once—our first meeting, the way his eyes softened when he looked at me, the way he lingered a moment too long when we touched, the warmth of his presence beside me on cold days.

When he finally pulled away, he was breathless.

"I like you too, Levi. A lot." The words echoed back to me, a mirror of what I had told him once before.

And then, as if afraid he would lose me again, he kissed me once more.

When our lips parted, he wrapped me in an embrace that felt deeper, stronger than any we had ever shared before.

Neither of us spoke. There was no need. Because in that moment, nothing else mattered.

Just us.