RenmaruDNM

Josh Garcia returns home after 3 years of studying from the big city, after getting out of a clusterfuck of a situation. He finds himself being unable to move on from his previous love interest, with a heavy heart and a goal to at least get his life together despite being at the abyss of his emotions. A woman named, Lyanna, found him all alone over a bridge and thus begins a story of romance with twist and turns while showcasing the life in the lenses of a broken and battered man. Follow Josh and Lyanna as they uncover the mystery of their auspicious meeting while trying to make the other fall in love as fast as possible.

### Characters in this book are considered to be fictional, although they borrow heavy influences from real life characters. All names are just thought out of the blue and are not intended to be a direct relation or representation of anybody alive nor dead.

Koi no Yokan: I Fell In Love With You Once More

Every single night, in the confines of my dreams. 


My spirit still exists; searching for something that already faded long ago. 


An emotion so raw it cannot be spoken, no words can describe the euphoric taste as I gobbled every single word she spoke out of her poisonous mouth. Like a cancer it spread and grew, under the guise of an intoxicating ambrosia, the false sweetness turned into a bittersweet lullaby that sent me spiraling out of control. It grew with each passing day, her siren song turned me insane. 


By Poseidon's grave, at the depths of the deep, dark, and blue sea.


I'll never escape the prison I forced myself into.


Driven by guilt, fear, sorrow, and regret.


Every single night, I wallow at the depths of despair


Make me forget my sorrows and erase the depressing memories,


Of her sweetest songs, and her haunting melodies.


Drown me in the strongest wines for its my only remedies


Turn me mad, crazy, and insane; take away all these jealousies.


Madness and Insanity, stop this sad man's parade,


Take me to my early grave, to go and see Hades.


All those sleepless nights, the thoughts shared with the moon, the songs sung to the stars, my worries about you.


I forever fear my fantastic fanaticism spun by this fragment of a fallacious memory towards the fabricated fiction that is you.


It pains me immensely to know that I would never be next to you.


That everything I've conjured up in my head was nothing more than an infallible fallacy held barely together by a fading hope and a pinch of cold and hard truth.


To realize that everything was merely a massive lie makes me absolutely sick.


I truly am a sick man with a dark, beautiful, and twisted fantasy for a reality that's bleak and chaotic. Maybe you are the medicine that would finally rid me of this affliction called isolation. I've already placed all my cards in this damned table, pushed all my chips to try and take that risk to get a whisk of this drug called love.


Sharp and pulsating pain in my temples,


It's as if I'm on the verge of both death and life


I know this is wrong, I've made you cry


All those years of regrets and guilt never went dry,


Why can't I accept that you'll never be mine?


Bleeding myself to try and say that I'm fine.


For you my dear, drive me towards the brink of insanity. 


Tip-toeing at the edge of well and unstable.


Unable to grasp the absurd reality of this situation I find myself into.


But, oh how Sol finally wakes, it seems our time is over my dear. Again, we'll play this game of hide and seek; To answer questions no one dared to ask, to solve mysteries that are meant to be left unsolved. It's time for me to make my exit in this ridiculous show, for a new dawn comes and with it, new sorrows.  For as long as I live in the present, I shall definitely die tomorrow.


As I close my eyes and go to sleep, death will toy with me once more and I'll ward him off with a reminder that I do not fear death.  What I simply fear are the sorrows and regret that I will endure in the afterlife if one should exist.


Or I'll simply fall into this endless dream that I will never wake up from. 


To be with you in the depths of my consciousness as my soul suffers the toll of my insanity.


To drift in this endless void without feeling your loving embrace, your warm laugh, your sweetest smiles. No matter, know that even on my deathbed I'll smile, for I have witnessed you this one final time.


Geisteskrankheit