Part 24: I Only Surrender To You

Nathan saw his mother's face smiling at him as well as his father who was holding his mother's hand tightly. They both stepped away to leave Nathan. His mother and father waved at him. Nathan did not return the wave but he tried to catch up with his parents' steps. He don't know why but the more he chased, the more the shadows of his parents disappeared. He tried to call his mother and father but his calls were ignored. Many times he called but there was no reaction. They both just walked away and left him alone.

Nathan: Ma ! Ma ! Ma ! (He's tearing up)

Zayden who was sleeping while hugging Nathan's body tightly woke up when he heard Nathan's voice. He opened his eyes and saw Nathan's hand as if he was waving someone while calling his mother.

Zayden: Ian...

He immediately hugged Nathan's body tightly again.

Zayden: I'm here, Ian.

Nathan hugged Zayden's body while her eyes were still closed. His eyes were wet because he was crying in his sleep. Maybe he was dreaming about his mom and dad.

Zayden: Shhhh....Ian. I'm here. (He kiss Nathan's forehead)

Zayden caressed Nathan's back while he kiss Nathan's forehead so many times.

Nathan: I miss Hia so much. (Nathan's eyes are still closed)

When Zayden heard Nathan's words, tears fell down his cheeks. Once again he kissed Nathan's forehead with love. His lips landed on Nathan's forehead for a long time. He felt guilty about everything that had happened. He felt guilty because he wasn't there for Nathan when Nathan needed him. He wasn't there when Nathan needed his warm embrace.

Zayden: I'm here, Ian. I won't go anywhere. (while looking at Nathan's face)

Zayden looked at the wall clock. It's 3 in the morning.

Zayden: Sleep tight, Ian. After this night passes, everything will be alright.

Zayden looked at Nathan's face. The face was not as happy as before. Nathan also looks thinner. There are dark circles under both of his eyes as if he didn't sleep enough.

Zayden: God, please take care of Nathan. (He prayed to God)

In the morning...

Nathan opened both of his eyes. He felt like a hand was hugging his body tightly at that moment. He was surprised to see Zayden in front of him. Zayden was the one who hugged him that time. He looked at that Zayden's face for a long time. He was fast asleep.

Nathan: Hia? Are you really here, Hia?

He smiled when he saw the face he missed so much. He lift up his left hand and he caressed Zayden's cheek.

Nathan: This is not a dream, right?

Nathan looked at his boyfriend's face. He didn't even look away even a second. That's the face he misses so much. That's the face that has often appeared in his head.

Nathan: I miss you, Hia. I really miss you.

His eyes were only focused on Zayden's face. His hands began to explore all over Zayden's face. He touched the tip of Zayden's nose then his lips. He touched Zayden's red lips. He misses Zayden's kiss on the lips. Then, he turned to Zayden's eyes. Zayden have such a long and thick eyelashes.

Then, Nathan move more closer towards Zayden. Zayden was still sleeping. Seems like he really tired. That's why he didn't even realized when Nathan keep on touching him. He move his closer face to Zayden's face. Then, he places a kiss on Zayden's lips.

Zayden woke up when he felt like a kiss landed on her lips at that moment. He opened his eyes slowly. A smile appeared on his lips when he saw Nathan's face that was very close to his face. He look into Nathan's eyes. Their eyes are being locked together.

Their eyes met. Zayden smiled sweetly because he finally got to meet Nathan. It's looks like their eyes are speak to each other. Nathan's eyes seemed to say that he missed Zayden so much and Zayden could feel it.

Zayden's right hand now on Nathan's face. He caressed Nathan's face. Then, he look at Nathan's red lips. He miss that lips. After that, he look into Nathan's eyes again. Zayden move his face closer towards Nathan.

He kissed Nathan's forehead then down to the tip of Nathan's nose. After that, he move to Nathan's lips. He kissed Nathan's lips gently. Nathan replied to his boyfriend's kiss as he lift up his arms slowly around Zayden's neck. They kissing each other passionately, like they really miss each other. They are not talking but they are talking through their kissing.

Zayden and Nathan get up from the bed without breaking their kisses. Nathan look at Zayden's face as he try to handle his breath. Then, he kiss Zayden's lips again. Zayden put his hands on Nathan's waist while caressing them.

Zayden stop for a while. He look at Nathan's face and he smiled to him.

Zayden: Hi, Ian. How are you?

Nathan: Hmm?

Zayden: Do you miss me, Ian?

Nathan: ...

Zayden: Hia miss Ian. Hia miss Ian so much.

Nathan look into his boyfriend's eyes.

Zayden: Hia miss your touch... (He kissed Nathan's hands)

Nathan: ....

Zayden: Hia miss your hug... (He kissed Nathan's arm)

Nathan: ....

Zayden: Hia miss your kisses... (He kissed Nathan's lip)

Nathan: ....

Zayden: Hia miss your sweet smile... (He kissed Nathan's lips again)

Nathan: ....

Zayden: Hia miss your puff cheeks... (He kissed both of Nathan's cheeks)

Nathan: ....

Zayden: Hia miss your doe eyes... (He kissed Nathan's eyes)

Nathan: ...

Zayden: Hia miss you so much... (He kissed Nathan's forehead)

Then he look at Nathan's eyes again and he smile to him.

Zayden: Hia miss Ian... (He kissed Nathan's chest, his heart)

Nathan look into his Hia's eyes. He can see the sincerity inside Zayden.

Nathan: This is really you, Hia. (While his hand caressing Zayden's cheeks)

Zayden: Yes, it's me, Ian. I'm here...in front of you. (He smiled to Nathan)

Nathan smiled while looking at Zayden. He immediately hugged Zayden's body tightly and Zayden returned his hug warmly. He really missed Zayden's warm embrace. They both hugged each other as if they didn't want to let go of each other. Zayden's hand caressing Nathan's head.

Zayden: Did you miss me, Ian?

Nathan: I miss you to death, Hia. What took you so long to go back to me, Hia?

Zayden: I'm sorry, Ian.

Nathan: I'm happy as long as you are here...in front of me.

Zayden was smiling as he heard Nathan's word. Nathan was surprised when Zayden was kissing his neck while hugging him. He can't stop kissing Nathan's neck until he reach Nathan's lips. Then, he continued kissing Nathan's lips. Nathan response and he put his arms around Zayden's neck. They kissing each other passionately.

Zayden: I love you, Ian.

Nathan's POV:

Nathan was watching television in the living room while Zayden was cooking for lunch in the kitchen. Earlier, Nathan wanted to help but Zayden just told her to wait in the living room. He didn't want to trouble Nathan.

After half an hour in the living room, he decided to turn off the television. All the channel at that time were boring. He then stepped into Zayden's bedroom. He wanted to lie on the bed while waiting for Zayden.

As he stepped into Zayden's bedroom, his eyes caught a large trophy placed on the table next to the bed. He took the cup and read what was written on it.

Nathan: The winner of International Basketball Tournament 2022.

He smiled for a moment. He was proud to see that Zayden had finally achieved his dream of becoming one of the international players. Zayden has wanted to become an international player for a long time. Nathan is a witness to all the efforts made by Zayden. However, he suddenly sighed. He then remembered that he had not congratulated Zee on his greatest achievement. Then, he put the trophy back on the table.

He was going to lay down on the bed but suddenly his eyes caught the photo frame on the table. It was a photo of his parents and Zayden. There was him too. He took that picture and look at it. His eyes now focused on the picture.

They look so happy together. Nathan look at his parents' face. The longing comes again. He wish his parents still alive. He didn't knew that this would be their last photo together. He was smiling while looking at the picture.

Suddenly someone knocked on the door. Nathan take a look. It was Zayden. He saw Zayden walk towards him and he sit on the bed beside Nathan. Zayden look at his boyfriend.

Zayden: I was searching for you just now. What are you doing here alone? Hmm?

Nathan: I was bored so I came here. I was planning to lay down on the bed but suddenly I saw this photo.

Nathan continued look at the photo.

Zayden: Ian...

Nathan turn his head and look at Zayden. Zayden was looking into his eyes. Nathan's eyes are telling him something. He was missing his parents so much. Looks like Nathan still not recovered from the loss.

Zayden: Do you need my hug? Hmm?

Zayden smiled to Nathan and he open both of his arms. Waiting for Nathan to come into his embrace.

Nathan look at Zayden and Zayden nodded his head. Then, Nathan immediately hug Zayden's body. He bumped his face into Zayden's chest.

Zayden: Ian... (While he caressing Nathan's back)

Zayden: I know you are still not recovered from your losses but you should know that everyone in this world will experienced the losses too...like me. Your losses...my losses...can never really be replaced. I know you're not ready to say goodbye yet. I know you're not ready when they left you. Even if your parents already gone, believe me that your bond between them never broken. Even though they are not physically here with you, but they live in your heart. They carried your heart inside them, Ian.

Nathan is tearing up. He try to control his tears but when he's with Zayden, he can't control them at all. He tighten his hug on Zayden.

Zayden: One more thing, don't you ever think that you are alone in this world...don't even set that on your mindset, Ian. You have me, Ian. You can come to me and I'll comfort you. I will heal your heart like you healed mine before this. Believe me, Ian that your heart safely tucked inside mine. Our hearts are belong to each other and nothing will ever change that.

Zayden let go of his hug on Nathan and he look into Nathan's eyes. He wipes Nathan's tears. Then, he put both of his hands on Nathan's shoulder.

Zayden: Look at me and listen. I loved you then. I love you now. Always did. Always will. Forever in mind. Forever in my heart. I will carry you in everything you did, Ian. When you fall, I'll be the first one who will grab your hand.

When Nathan heard that, he cry again. Zayden was so sincere towards him.

Nathan: Thank you so much, Hia. Thank you for everything. I didn't know what should I do if you are not here with me. Maybe, I'll decided to kill myself too.

Zayden: Shhh...don't say that, Ian. I'll always here for you. You are my everything, Ian. I will do everything for you, Ian. (Zayden holding Nathan's hand)

Nathan wipes his tears then he hug Zayden's body again. he hug Zayden tightly. He was so grateful to have someone like Zayden.

Zayden: I surrender only to you, Nathan Ian.