Chapter 3: Mixed Signals

                 ***Freen's POV***

"Freen, it's 11 A.M. Aren't you going to wake up yet?" my mom said, opening the window and drawing back the curtains to let the sunlight flood into my room.

"What's going on with you? Lately, you've been waking up late and missing out on the events where you're supposed to sell the burgers. Is something bothering you?" she asked, perching on the edge of my bed.

Here I am, at 11 AM in the morning, staring up at the ceiling. There's only one person occupying my mind, disturbing my sleep and stealing my interest from everything else. I never expected to be so preoccupied by someone like this. Why did she have to kiss me? Why can't I just forget about it?

With these thoughts swirling in my head, I sat up in bed and shook my head vigorously, trying to shake myself out of it. My mom stared at me with a puzzled frown on her face, clearly confused about what I was doing.

I smiled and replied, "Just trying to wake myself up." I hopped to my feet and hurriedly made my way to the diner to grab some breakfast.

As I sat down and took a bite, my mom entered the room and settled onto the chair across from me. She observed me for a few moments, still wearing a perplexed expression. Then, she reached out and held my left hand, ready to speak.

"Freen, if there's something wrong, let me know. You don't have to keep everything to yourself. I'm your mother for a reason," she said with concern in her voice.

I chuckled softly. "Mom, why so serious right now? I know you're worried, and I appreciate that, but rest assured, I'm okay," I reassured her, flashing a smile before taking another bite of my sandwich.

My mom returned the smile, gently tapping my hand as if to convey her unwavering support. I usually share almost everything with her, whether it's someone showing interest in me or my own feelings for someone. But I can't bring myself to tell her what's been consuming my thoughts lately. I'm not even sure why I keep replaying that day in my mind. Do I actually like her? Or is this just a passing infatuation? I'm honestly as confused as ever.

"By the way, Deo asked if you'd like to join him for coffee today, just to take a breather and relax. You can take it easy today," my mom informed me.

Oh, right, I almost forgot about that. "Yeah, I'll go," I replied.

Truth be told, I didn't feel like going out for coffee and watching movies. I'd rather stay at home and brainstorm ways to make more money. But I didn't want to be left alone with my thoughts right now. I needed to push that day with Becky out of my mind. I needed to forget her.

After finishing my late breakfast, I swiftly took a shower and got dressed. Opting for comfort, I wore a plain black T-shirt tucked into denim pants, with a denim jacket to combat the chilly weather. I sent a text to Deo, informing him that I was getting ready so he could swing by and pick me up in his car.

What if I actually like you?

Suddenly, a thought invaded my mind. I couldn't believe I was hearing her voice in my head. I took a deep breath and shook my head, trying to clear my mind.

As I settled on the couch, waiting for Deo, I absentmindedly scrolled through my phone and opened TikTok. I had been attempting to avoid thoughts of Becky, but they seemed to creep in regardless. I couldn't help but smile whenever I saw her smiling or feel a surge of happiness in my heart whenever she posted updates.

I navigated to my messages and found Becky's chat. It was the first time I would read her message. There were a few messages there, seemingly copy-pasted, asking me if I liked her. She hadn't messaged me since that kiss. Was she just playing around?

After a while, I heard Deo's car honking outside our house. "Mom, Deo's here. See you later!" I called out, grabbing my bag and rushing outside.

Taking the passenger seat, I noticed Deo gazing at me from the corner of my eye. I met his gaze and saw a broad smile on his face. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I inquired.

He chuckled and glanced away. "Let's go," he said as he started the car. I leaned back comfortably in the seat and gazed out the window. As we passed by a billboard displaying Becky's face, I couldn't help but think about her. She's a massive star, and I'm sure many people, like me, are thinking about her right now. News reports mention how her fans shower her with millions of dollars' worth of gifts from all over the world. I can't offer her that. I don't have millions, and I'm still burdened by a hefty debt. I'm definitely sure she does not like me. Because if she does, she will message me. She will ask how am I doing. She will wonder where I'm at or who I'm with but she did not.

That kiss had turned my world upside down, but hers likely remained unchanged. Maybe she got carried away in the moment, wanting to ensure that everyone liked her, so she kissed me, hoping I would like her too. And now, I think I actually do.

Is my love too much? Or is it just enough for you?

A song abruptly broke the silence in the car. I glanced at the dashboard and noticed that Deo had started playing Lauv's "Feelings."

"It's too quiet," he remarked with a smile.

"Yeah," I agreed.

We sang along to the tunes of our favorite songs. Deo was a big fan of country music, but I wasn't particularly fond of it. I preferred pop and R&B. Whenever we were together, he would play my preferred genres. He even had a Spotify playlist titled "When With Freen." I burst into laughter when he first told me about it.

After about 20 minutes, we arrived at the café we used to go to during our college days. It had been a while since we last visited. I remembered how Deo would always treat me to a drink since I couldn't afford it back then, but in return, I would help him with his assignments. Now, I could buy drinks for both of us and even enjoy some pastries on the side. I know I still have a long way to go to reach my dreams, but I have to acknowledge that I've come a long way from where I started.

Deo parked the car, and I went ahead and ordered two Caramel Macchiatos, our classic choice, iced. I also ordered a couple of pastries. I settled at a table that offered a view of our old university.

"Have you placed the order?" Deo asked as he made his way to the table.

"Yeah, Caramel Macchiatos. My treat," I proudly announced.

"That's new! Remember when we used to come here, and I always had to treat you? Every single time," he teased. "But we've come a long way, haven't we?" he added.

"Remember when we wrote those essays titled '10 Years from Now'? We listed all the things we thought we could be and do. It may not have been ten years yet, but I feel like a different person now. My priorities have changed, and my dreams have evolved. I wonder if the younger version of me would be disappointed to see who I've become," I pondered aloud.

"People change, Freen. It doesn't mean you're losing the person you used to be; it means you're discovering the version of you that you haven't met yet," Deo reassured me.

Our coffee and pastries arrived, and we delved into conversations about the silly things we used to do back then.

After our delightful coffee date, we decided to hit the cinema for some movie magic. Deo really wanted to watch a horror flick, but I wasn't in the mood for scares. Poor guy had no choice but to go along with my preference. To make the experience complete, we snagged two buckets of popcorn and some ice-cold coke. As we strolled towards the entrance, we noticed a swarm of people pouring in. Curiosity piqued, I asked Deo to hold on for a moment while I investigated the commotion. Surprisingly, I didn't have to venture far before I spotted Becky making her way towards me.

In that moment, it felt like time stood still. My heart raced, leaving me frozen in place. I could swear she was looking right into my eyes. I mustered up a smile, but she didn't return it. She walked right past me, acting like we were strangers. I was left standing there, wondering, "Why would she do that?"

"Hey, are you okay?" Deo grabbed my hand, concerned written all over his face.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Let's just go," I forced a smile and headed towards the cinema.

No messages from her and she acts like she doesn't even know me. I guess I've got the answer I was searching for, but it's not exactly the one I was hoping for. It's probably time to stop my mind from obsessing over her and get back to my regular routine.

Once the movie was over, we wasted no time leaving the cinema. I told Deo I needed to use the restroom before we headed home. I made a beeline for the restroom, and just as I was about to go into a cubicle, I spotted Becky. Our eyes met briefly, but I decided to ignore her and went straight into the stall. My heart kept pounding, so I lightly tapped my chest, hoping to calm it down.

I stayed in the stall until I heard Becky's footsteps leave the restroom. When I was sure she was gone, I quietly opened the door, washed my hands, and left.

In the parking area, I scanned for Deo's car. He honked twice, guiding me to his location. I approached the vehicle, opened the door, and was taken aback by the sight of Deo holding a bouquet of vibrant red roses. Momentarily bewildered, I tried to comprehend his intentions.

"I got you some flowers. You've always loved red roses, so here's a bunch for you," he said, extending the bouquet towards me.

"Thanks," I said, accepting the flowers and getting into the car.

Deo started driving, and I sat there, still puzzled by his unexpected gesture.

"Hey, Freen, I added a new song to your playlist. I want you to hear it," Deo said, tapping his phone and cranking up the volume on the car stereo.

You are the one girl

And you know that it's true

I'm feeling younger

Every time that I'm alone with you

"That's an Ed Sheeran song, right? It's an old favorite," I remarked, recognizing the tune he wanted me to listen to.

"Freen, I've been wondering for a while now, how would you feel if I told you I love you," Deo confessed, his eyes focused on the road. "The songs in the playlist are my way of saying things I struggle to put into words. I know I'm risking our friendship by confessing to you today but I want you to know that whether you like me or not I'm still your best friend and that will not change. I wanna take care of you for the rest of my life, Freen." Deo pulled the car over at a red light and looked at me, waiting for my response.

I sat in the car, speechless, my gaze fixed on him. The weight of unspoken words hung heavily in the air, until suddenly, a notification on my phone shattered the silence.

My eyes shifted to the screen, revealing a message from TikTok.

It read: [beckyfanaccnt: Is he your boyfriend? I thought you liked me?]

                    ***Becky's POV***

I found myself captivated by her lips, a magnetic force pulling me closer. My heart pounded with a fervor I hadn't experienced in ages. No one, not even Marcus or my parents, had the power to quell my anxiety like she did. She was extraordinary, and from the moment I laid eyes on her, I knew it. My hand gently caressed Freen's neck as I pressed my lips against hers.

"Becky!" Trisha called out, snapping me back to reality. "Are you okay?" she inquired.

"Yeah," I managed to reply, my mind still consumed by thoughts.

Marcus and I had officially broken up, but the truth was, our relationship had been unraveling for a while. Ever since came to Thailand, things hadn't been the same. I still loved him, but I needed to move forward if he had already found someone new. After all, why couldn't I find a replacement for him?

We were currently en route to the cinema, crammed inside a van. I had noticed Freen's Instagram story, indicating that the cinema they were headed to was just a 15-minute drive away. Knowing how much Trisha had talked about this particular movie, I had promptly purchased tickets online as a treat for her.

As I stepped out of the van, a swarm of people gathered, eager to capture my presence in photographs. I smiled and waved, as I always did, while making my way towards the cinema. And there, standing before me, was Freen, looking directly into my eyes with a beautiful smile adorning her face. I longed to strike up a conversation, but I refrained. I couldn't bear the thought of others meddling in her life the way they had with mine.

I had developed a crush on Freen, but I was determined to suppress these feelings before they grew stronger. Currently filming a soap opera, I was about to be paired with a male co-star, and publicly acknowledging my budding attraction to a girl would jeopardize the career I had tirelessly built. Moreover, Freen's life would be plagued by online trolls as well, and I couldn't allow that to happen.

Despite my yearning to converse with her daily, to know her thoughts, plans, and everything about her, I forced myself to stay silent. I would keep my emotions to myself, adoring her from a distance while I patiently waited for these feelings to fade away.

As I walked past Freen, I pretended not to know her. I selected a seat near the back, ensuring a clear view of her. She chose a spot not too far from ours, accompanied by a man who appeared to be a true gentleman. I couldn't recall any posts on her social media accounts mentioning a boyfriend. In fact, she had stated that she didn't have time for a relationship. So, perhaps he was just a friend.

Observing them during the movie, I noticed the man stealing glances at Freen, and she engaged in conversation with him from time to time. Was she starting to date now?

After the movie, I hurried to the restroom to escape the tiredness that consumed me from watching Freen and the man she was with. While washing my hands, the sound of footsteps entering the restroom drew my attention. To my surprise, it was Freen, entering without acknowledging my presence and heading straight into a cubicle. Maybe she didn't need my explanations. Perhaps attempting to clarify things would only confuse her further. Why should I explain when all I wanted was to pretend I didn't have these feelings for her?

I stepped out of the restroom and quickly hopped back in the van. Mike realized he had left his wallet in the cinema. Both Trisha and Mike got out, leaving me alone in the van.

While idly scrolling through Twitter, the silence in the parking area was shattered by the sound of a honk. I turned to see what was happening, and there she was—Freen, walking towards a car. I couldn't tear my eyes away from her; they held a captivating power that made me feel like I could gaze into them for an eternity.

Freen opened the car door, and to my surprise, the man she was with handed her a bouquet of roses, which she gladly accepted. Wait, were they actually dating? They wasted no time before leaving the parking area together.

I wish I hadn't witnessed that moment. Now, thoughts of Freen consume me more than ever. Does she have feelings for him too? What is their relationship status? Does she ever think about me?

Finally, Mike and Trisha returned, and we began our journey back home. However, my mind was now filled with thoughts of Freen, and I couldn't resist the urge to seek answers. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight without finding out.

I reached for my phone and opened TikTok, mustering the courage to send Freen a message, desperately seeking clarity.

[Is he your boyfriend? I thought you liked me?]

Author's Note:

Thank you so much for reading this Fanfic! I know the updates are very slow because I really don't have much time to work on it during the weekdays because of work but I'll make sure to finish this book. I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Let me know what you think will happen next. :)

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