The Goose Return

Ye Chen

I woke up to the sound of someone bursting into my room. Chaos incarnate had arrived.

"Hey, kid! I'm back. Did you miss me? I've found a real busty gem for you, just need to lock it down" the goose said, rushing to open the curtains and let in the bright morning light. "Wake the fuck up, we have a lot to do!"

"Mm... who is making such a racket this early? Can you throw him out? He reeks of bird" came a voice from under the covers.

Yeah, this was definitely going to be a not a simple day. The goose paused for a second.

"No way! My boy is now a man. How could you betray our love like this? You've broken my heart. What will I tell our children?" Listening to this nonsense, I went from being stunned to downright annoyed. I grabbed something heavy and threw it at him, naturally missing and smashing a mug through the window instead.

"Fuck, can't you make a more peaceful entrance into my life?"

A blond head peeked out from under the blanket, her eyes blinking sleepily.

"Duck? ? ? Sweetheart maybe we should roast it over some coals? Look how plump and well-fed it is!" Liang Nuwang's sudden outburst pulled both me and the goose out of reality.

After 2 seconds of pin drop silence she continued "No? Well, maybe later."

She then pulled out a piece of bread from who knows where, tore it into pieces, and threw them on the ground.

"Eat up, eat up, grow big and juicy, little ducky!" she said, standing naked by the bed, completely unfazed. "Honey, I'm going to the bath. If you keep animals in the house, at least wash them more often. This duck smells a bit" she added, wrinkling her nose as she walked out of the room.

"What the fuck! What do you mean, duck? And fat and smelly too! Ye Chen, what is this crazy creature you've brought into the house? I leave you alone for a few days, and you bring home a lunatic" the goose was shouting by the end.

"Hold on, stop yelling. I just woke up! This is Liang Nuwang, a girl I saved, and one of my future wives" I said with a grin from ear to ear.

"Future wife, my ass. She's crazy and blind! What a shame..." the goose lamented.

After a minute, he changed the subject and asked "By the way, have you flown to see Xia Tao recently?"

"No, I've been having a bit of a honeymoon period lately. I kinda forgot about him" I replied with a sheepish smile.

"Damn it, that girl's going to be the death of you. My gut told me I should've come sooner" the goose grumbled.

"Why are you complaining so much?" I asked, not recalling the goose being such a grouch.

"Well, the whole house is upside down, don't worry about it" he said. "By the way, have you got an invitation for the upcoming auction?"

"What's the point? I barely have any spirit stones."

"You don't get it. You should go just to broaden your horizons. They say there hasn't been an auction like this in a hundred years. They even built a separate building for it and will be showcasing lots of interesting stuff. Even our clan has prepared some cool things" the goose said with pride. "Don't worry, I'll take you to our lodge if necessary."

"Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to check it out."

"By the way, who's that beauty sitting in the courtyard?" the goose asked.

"Oh, you must mean Zhen Yinglong. She's staying here for a while" I said. "She's a friend of Liang Nuwang" I added, smiling idiotically again.

At that moment, the door opened, and the blonde walked back into the room, still naked but now refreshed. She walked to the center of the room, between the bed and the goose, and started shooing him away with her hands.

"Shoo, shoo, nasty bird" she said, and the goose, bewildered by her actions, backed away and within three seconds found himself out the door.

"Hahaha!" I burst out laughing. I had never seen the goose so flustered.

"What the hell are you laughing at?" came the shout from outside the door. "Let's go to Xia Tao. He should have the crystals we need, or did you forget about those?" Hearing about the crystals, I immediately perked up. The thought of a compass, books, and new adventures excited me.

"Give us three minutes," I replied. Turning to Liang Nuwang, I said "Darling, I'm heading to my good friend's place. Are you coming?"

"Of course, dear. I'm with you always and everywhere!" she exclaimed.

A few minutes later, dressed and ready, we stepped outside to find the goose whispering something to Zhen Yinglong. He still seemed wary of my companion.

"Here, ducky ducky, come eat" Liang Nuwang said, breaking bread in front of the goose.

"What the hell are you doing, you lunatic?!" the goose shrieked, leaping several meters away from her. "And I'm not a duck! I'm a goose! My name is Swiftwing!"

Turning to me, Liang Nuwang said, "Such an ill-mannered duck. Shall we smoke it?" She tilted her head and looked dreamily at the sky.

"What do you mean smoke it? Ye Chen, ditch this crazy woman. Take the dark-haired one instead; at least she seems sane" Swiftwing retorted.

"Shut up, chicken" Liang Nuwang snapped. "Who are you to tell my man who to choose? Aren't we going somewhere?"

"I want to come with you" Liang Nuwang added.

"Well, I don't mind" I said. We boarded the shuttle and took off, with an hour-long journey ahead.

"Why a duck and not a goose?" I asked Liang Nuwang.

Tilting her head to the side, she replied, "What's the difference? A beak here, a beak there. Wings here, wings there. What's the big deal?"

"The color, for one!" Swiftwing couldn't hold back.

"You're just an ugly duck, but don't worry. Not everyone can be beautiful. Just accept it" she said.

The goose started pacing the shuttle, making strange noises in frustration.

"Why is he flapping around? Should we toss him out? Maybe he'll lose weight and become meatier?" Liang Nuwang suggested, looking at me with innocent eyes.