Phase 17

Mandryx's Perspective

Beholding him in serene repose renders me tranquil, this visage of him is the sole tableau where anxieties cease their incessant assault, and moments such as these, the only respite from the ceaseless weariness he bears, fretting over every vicissitude. Would that I could perpetuate this state, unburdened from the harrowing ruminations that beset his mind, the discomfiting anxieties and overwhelming trepidation.

"Will you not draw near him?" My father inquired while standing beside me.

"Maintaining my distance shall safeguard me from Étienne's detection," I retorted, casting an eye towards him. He smiled and patted my shoulder before taking his leave.

I stood there for a time, and as I turned to depart, I overheard him mumbling something. I thought he had awakened, but it was yet another onslaught of his night terrors. I approached his bed and sat beside him, holding one of his hands, enclosing it between my own, offering solace in the warmth of my touch.

I lingered until his agitation subsided, a familiar occurrence, especially when exhaustion overwhelms him. When I withdrew my hands from his grasp, he inadvertently clung to both, causing me to lean onto his chest. I hastily retreated and extricated his hands from mine. Now is not the moment to act on the impulse of seizing opportunity, but rather to consider how he would perceive my actions when conscious.

Rather than embracing him in that position to console him, I opted to sit in the chair beside his bed, holding his hand to let him feel the warmth he craves. I pondered where he found such comfort he perennially seeks when he faces solitude aloft. Is he already with someone? Or is he grappling with his burdens alone? I yearn to comprehend all that transpired after we parted ways, to know the events that befell him subsequent to my departure for this mission. Not merely the fact that I caused him distress over a matter of which he was unaware of or had not been forewarned.

I lifted his hand enough for me to lean into it, supporting it with my own. A smile crept upon my face as I beheld his unadorned visage, these fleeting moments being rare, as he despises being observed in such a manner. Unwittingly, I caressed the scar near his nasal bridge, a habit of mine, but I swiftly restrained myself from proceeding further.

"What if—I wonder, what if I had not chosen this mission and allowed that event to unfold? Would you still regard me as the most precious gift you've ever received? Or smile at me as the catalyst for your happiness?" Unbeknownst to me, I found myself indulging in these foolish hypothetical musings, and a solitary tear escaped my eye before I could suppress it.

Before matters could worsen, I readied to depart for the second time, but he once again held one of my hands. Attempting to loosen his grip, I was thwarted by what followed.

"I want you to be forthright—just be honest, even if it shatters me anew, I will accept it. I do not wish to hear lies, Dryx," his voice raspy, his words cutting, that's what restrained me from leaving.

I remained facing away, feeling embarrassed and afraid of potentially deceiving him once more when I met his gaze. A flood of memories washed over me, starting from those nights of betrayal to the days of entreaty.

"I—I cannot," I uttered, the pain evident in my eyes.

I must lie, betray him, and maintain silence behind the facade of necessity to keep him safe.

When he released my hand, I retreated, choosing cowardice yet again. As I left that room, I passed by Lady Étienne. I found myself knocking on my father's door, and upon its opening, I abandoned all pretense and exposed my vulnerabilities before him, releasing the suppressed anguish of many years.

"I—I can't bear it any longer, please—I'm begging you, Father. I—"

"Permitting him to partake in this mission is the only leverage I possess to reunite you with him."

"I—I am your son, yet you remain impotent in compensating for the years you let—allow me to witness mother's suffering. Is her departure and your satisfaction not enough?"

"You know nothing, so desist from behaving like a child!" He gripped my jaw, uttering those baseless words before compelling me to stand. "Think before you act, Mandryx. This course of action shall save Raiden and yourself!" And there I stood, vulnerable once more.

I left that room without adequate contemplation, unaware of my surroundings as I returned to my quarters. Upon reaching my room, I secluded myself, doing nothing and only disturbed by the repeated knocks on my door.

"What happened?" San is always present in times like these, as if he receives word of my condition.

"Nothing," I replied, allowing him entry and resuming my position, facing the mattress.

"If it truly were nothing, why do you ignore those around you, as if detached from yourself?"

"Come now, man, refrain from being inquisitive like your brother."

"Will you tell me, or shall I halt the investigation?!" He truly is my best friend, knowing precisely what to offer in exchange.

"Tsk! Raiden has awakened—"

"I am aware, which is precisely why I seek your whereabouts."

"Permit me to finish, will you?"

"Proceed, then. Do calm yourself, my good man."

"He is now conscious and weary of pretense, prompting him to question me yet again with that— with that foolish query."

"And what was your response?"

"I remained silent, for I cannot divulge the truth to him."

"Shall we have a drink?"

"For so many options, San," I replied, rolling over to face the ceiling.

"Then, what shall we do?"

"Nothing."

"How about venturing to the other side of the cliff?"

"Regrettably, that is unfeasible," I replied as I vacated the bed and returned to my workspace to resume unfinished tasks.

Without a word, he departed, and I anticipated his return with libations, undoubtedly within 15 minutes.

"What drinks have you procured?" I asked without looking at him.

"Lady Étienne has arrived," and through sheer muscle memory, my body automatically stood and faced her.

"Ma," was the word I used in response to her frigid gaze.

She entered my room, and San departed, leaving me to stand before her, awaiting her announcement.

"We are returning to the main station; Raiden is now stable, and thus, neither I nor your Father are required here any longer," her words dumbfounded me. I desired to distance myself from Raiden for now, but leaving this station was not part of my plan.

"Might I remain here?" I asked, hoping she might acquiesce.

"We require your presence there, Mandryx. There is a plethora of paperwork to be attended to," she said, seating herself in my chair at the workstation, and I hastily closed my laptop before she could peruse its contents. I stood by her side, awaiting her decision.

"I can perform my duties from this location."

"Is there a valid reason that warrants your insistence on remaining here?" She faced me squarely, gazing directly into my eyes.

I averted her gaze, pretending to organize the papers on my desk. "I still need to examine the saber sample and conduct research on it, which necessitates Kevin and Vincent's assistance, resources unavailable at the main station," I replied, recalling the primary reason for my presence here.

"If that is the case, then I shall permit you to remain, but you must stay away from Raiden."

"I—I shall comply, Mother."

"Very well then, return to the main station afterward."

"I shall."

I escorted her out, and as I reentered my room, I silently celebrated. I can mend the breach between Raiden and myself while simultaneously conducting the investigation and research.