Chapter 19: I've missed you

―No, Baby, and I don't know how you can. You were only small when you and I were

here last.‖

―Nancy Drew could always remember everything.‖

We drove through that park and then the next two. While I thought I saw Tina's trailer a

number of times, they all looked so alike, Abbey would be adamant that they weren't.

Finally, as we drove around the little roads in the fourth park, Nancy Drew pointed to a

trailer and said, ―That's it, there.‖

Abbey waited in the car while I went to check. Tina's boyfriend, Jimmy, came to the

door. He was startled to see me.

―Oh, my gosh! What are you doing here?‖ The twins suddenly appeared, saw Abbey who

was getting out of the car, and ran to her.

―I'm here to visit my sister.‖

―Do you want to come in? Tina's not here. She's at work, at the hospital.‖

There was no way I wanted to go inside and wait with Jimmy. I could hear the girls

laughing behind me, playing and having fun like they always did when they got together.

The twins had always been Abbey's favorite cousins. ―No, thank you. I really must speak

to Tina. How do I get to the hospital?‖

―You can see it from here.‖ He pointed. ―It's on top of the hill, there.‖ I grinned to myself

as I thought of what Abbey had said earlier. ‗It's not far from where you can see the

hospital on the hill.' She was amazing. I turned to leave.

―I don't know why your sister doesn't want anything to do with you, but you had better

make sure you don't upset her.‖

I looked back at the man. ―What do you mean?‖

―Don't set her off again, that's all.‖

What the hell did he mean? I could feel the level of my anxiety rising and the muscles in

my stomach beginning to knot.

―Can I stay with Linda and Casey, Mummy?‖ My attention shifted to the girls. I declined

but offered to bring the twins with me. It was joyful looking at their happy smiles...

Jimmy said it would be alright to take the girls.

After waiting in the reception area for about 10 minutes, Tina arrived. She took one look

at me and started to cry. We hugged. I was so happy to see her.

―It's been so long, Tina. I've missed you.‖ She stopped crying. We sat down in two sofas

facing each other, clasping hands. ―I have a question for you,‖ I said. ―Why did you drop

out of our lives?‖

―I really don't know.‖

―I left messages. You never returned one of them.‖

―I can't talk about it,‖ she said.I nodded. I didn't want to upset her. She was obviously going through a tough time. Her

face was certainly showing signs of strain, she actually looked much wiser . We talked

some more, and then she said she had to get back to work.

―Wait, Tina. I have to ask you something. I need your help. Can I have one of your

eggs?‖ I was not being very subtle, but I needed to get to the point. I had to get this done,

time was running out.

―What?‖ she said somewhat startled. As I began to explain, she got it and stopped me.

―I'm off in an hour, meet me at home.‖

―I'm going to get a hotel room for Abbey and me.‖

You meet me at the hotel.‖

―It's okay to stay at the house.‖

―No, really, it's okay. You stay at the hotel with us.

We ate at the hotel. Tina and I were able to talk later on about the eggs while the children

watched television in the hotel room.

―So, will you do it?‖

―Yeah,‖ she said. ―The only thing I am worried about is the medication. Hell, I don't like

taking an aspirin, but I'll do it for you, Amelia. You took good care of me when I was a

kid.‖

Tina was marvelous. When I asked her how she really felt about giving me her eggs she

said, ―What do I care, I'm never going to use them. Besides it wouldn't be my baby.‖

When I look back over my life and the lives of my family members there seemed to be

more surprises, twists and turns than were in the most complicated maze ever

constructed. The story of my in vitro and Tina's eggs really was the most amazing of

them all.

Tina and I went through the all the preparation and medical procedures and the transfer

took place on July 18th 2004. A month later, I went back to see Dr. Rasheed. He

examined me using the ultrasound.

―Ah, good. So, you are just about two months pregnant now.‖

―No, Doctor, I am exactly at a month today. The transfer was done on July 18.‖

―No, no, according to this ultrasound you are at two months.‖

―That can't possibly be.‖

―Well, did you and your husband have intercourse in the months before the transfer?‖

―Well, of course, but... It can't be... I had this transfer,‖ I stammered, somewhat shocked

and puzzled by what I was hearing.

―Then you were pregnant before the transfer.‖

Holy Mary Mother of God, it seemed that Jack had fertilized one of my own eggs. Oh

my, it is so weird thinking back over the circumstances of how the doctors believed this happened. The in vitro doctor I was seeing was going through bankruptcy. His group had

most of their equipment taken away, so when they did the transfer, I was literally in a

little closet space area, and they had no ultrasound machine. Normally, they are supposed

to use the ultrasound while doing the transfer to make sure that the transfer had, in fact,

taken place.

I just sat there for a full half-hour without saying a word. I didn't know what to think.

There was the doctor's explanation, but I wasn't completely satisfied. I had doubts. When

I got home I called Tina and told her.

―I'm going to do a test,‖ I said when I had finished. ―Why bother, it's your baby?‖

I went ahead, anyway, and had the blood test. The test is very expensive, but I did it. I

was told that they can find with above 85% certainty who the baby is genetically, but

when there is so much genetic sharing as in my case, it's just harder to tell. They told me

about a test that cost $4,000.

I decided, ―He's my son whether it was my own egg or my own sister's.

When I saw Tina again, she was thrilled. ―You know, I'll do it again for you, Amelia.‖

I gave her a huge hug. ―You're so beautiful. Thank you.‖

Lucas was born in February of 2005, on Valentine's Day. A beautiful baby boy, two

months early but he was fine after a month's stay in the NICU. It was a scary time, but

once I got him home things couldn't have been more perfect.

• • •

It had been two and a half years since I had seen or heard from Adam. I really didn't want

to have anything to do with him ever again to be honest. But, the inevitable happened. I

found out that he and his family were in serious, serious trouble. And, as crazy as it

sounds, I was about to allow them to re-enter our lives again, both emotionally and

financially, and watch, powerless to change anything really, as the shocking

consequences of Adam and Susan's insane behaviors dramatically impacted the lives of

their children.

It was October 1999, and Adam was living in Maine. Social Services where they lived

was investigating an allegation of educational neglect because Adam's school aged

children had not been properly registered for home schooling. Adam being Adam, of

course, disputed the claims in his usual confrontational manner.

A Maplewood police lieutenant was assigned to assist in the resulting investigation.

Coincidentally, the Lieutenant knew Adam professionally when Adam worked as an

animal control officer for the Maplewood police department. Yes, I have said it over and

over that Adam was brilliant, that he could do whatever he set his mind to, and here he

was once again able to convince an employer to give him a job that was in the midst of an

institution that was the antithesis of what he believed should be applied to himself.