Chapter 16: Lillian's Fear

Lillian watches with the others as Vincent and Colin begin their journey. No one says anything right away and the silence causes an uneasy feeling to settle in Lillian's stomach. Despite her own troubled heart and reluctance to be around Winston she still cares about her friend and wanted to wish him well.

"Was it wise to let him go alone?", Alexander says what everyone is thinking.

"If anyone else would have gone it would've aroused suspicion.", King Winston replies.

"Still...there could have been a better way.", Alexander responds. King Winston doesn't say anything.

"Vincent is strong and smart. The best thing we can do is trust and pray for him. As well as uphold our end here.", Selena speaks up from her doorway.

Lillian turns to her as well as everyone else. No worry or unease is present on her face. Lillian feels admiration for her strength, yet also envy for she too had that kind of faith in her husband. She looks to Winston with a side glance. Now she couldn't be sure of anything.

"Come. I presume you all haven't had breakfast yet. I'll cook up something for everyone.", Selena says gesturing for everyone to enter.

"That sounds wonderful Selena. Thank you.", King Winston speaks. Alexander nods with a smile.

"You're right. We must have faith and ensure that we don't lack in our efforts. None of us are alone.", he goes on. Lillian smiles and simply nods in agreement before following King Winston inside.

"You definitely need to rest. Your feet will have swelled.", Selena tells her cheerfully as she walks by. Lillian forces a smile.

"I suppose you are right.", she replies. A look of pity flashes within Selena's eyes before allowing Lillian to move on inside.

"I can help you cook breakfast if you'd like.", Lillian hears Jessica offer Selena.

"That would be wonderful! Thank you!", Selena replies.

Lillian moves on to sit in the living room before being stopped by Selena.

"Oh no you don't. You're coming to the kitchen with us.", she tells her. Lillian looks at her with a surprised look.

"But I don't know how to cook.", Lillian protests as Selena approaches her.

"Doesn't mean you can't prepare your husband's plate when the food is done.", Selena counters as she guides Lillian by the arm. "Besides we can have our own little talk while the men have theirs.", she adds with a mischievous smile. Winston and Alexander turn to each other before seeing Selena and Lillian walk off.

"Maybe we should have gone with Vincent.", Winston suggests.

"Tch, you couldn't have. I could've.", Alexander replies crossing his arms. Lillian overhears them and rolls her eyes as she and Selena enter the kitchen from the dining room. Selena approaches a servant that just finished clearing the table.

"See to King Winston and Sir Alexander will you.", she tells him. With a nod the servant hurries off to do as he is told leaving the three women alone.

Lillian looks around in awe. She had never been in Selena's kitchen before. It is nearly the size of her family room with counters along the walls. Only being broken up by a place to wash the dishes and the fireplace along an entire wall. On the counters are bundles of fresh vegetables and herbs, and baskets of sliced meat and bread from the market could be found as well.

"Selena, this is amazing. It's so spacious and well equipped.", Lillian tells her.

"Thank you. Vincent had it built just how I wanted it, so I actually spend most of my time here. Honestly it's my second favorite room in the house.", Selena replies as she readies herself to start cooking; tying her hair back and rolling up her sleeves. "You can sit over there if you would like, your majesty.", she goes on referring to a chair by the center table. As Lillian takes her seat she watches as Jessica approaches Selena just as ready to start cooking.

"How about we make grits with a slice of meat and bread on the side?", Jessica suggests.

"I love it. I'll take care of the grits while you prepare the meat. There should be butter left over from earlier.", Selena agrees. Lillian watches them thoughtfully. It isn't surprising to her that Selena enjoys being in her kitchen. She grew up in the same orphanage as Vincent and often helped with things such as cooking. However, Jessica had a similar upbringing to her being the daughter of a marquis. She can't help but wonder how and why she is so interested in cooking.

"Jessica, if I may. How did you learn to cook?", Lillian asks her. She turns to Lillian as she places the butter on the counter.

"My mother was a commoner. After marrying my father she still cooked from time to time.", Jessica answers understanding Lillian's question. "I also had a natural curiosity for it. Alexander really enjoys the fact that I will cook for him too.", she adds with a giggle.

"Vincent's the same way. Although, I regularly cook myself. I would rather my help just prepare everything for me.", Selena adds from the pot turning to her friends. Lillian falls silent. She didn't grow up in an orphanage or have a curiosity for such activities. Twiddling her thumbs, her eyes close thoughtfully.

"Do all commoners know how to cook?", Lillian asks eventually partly to herself. Selena hears her question and straightens up before looking at her. She realizes the affect her and Jessica's exchange has had on Lillian's thoughts. A moment passes before she answers.

"Well... it's something anyone can learn, but not everyone is good at it.", Selena tells her, guessing her friend's thoughts.

"Do you think she is good at cooking? I wonder if Winston thinks so.", Lillian says, her mind now wondering. Over hearing, Jessica turns from what she is cooking with a bewildered expression.

"Who is 'she'?'', Jessica asks. Selena turns to her then to Lillian with a raised brow. Lillian knows she is waiting for her permission to tell. Hesitating for a bit, Lillian nods silently.

"But first you can't tell anyone.", she says to Jessica.

"Of course. Now what's going on?", Jessica replies. Selena waits for a servant who had come in to leave stirring her pot in the meantime.

"Now then. What's going on is king Winston is seeing another woman.", she tells Jessica.

"What?!", Jessica responds.

"Selena..."

"There's no other way to say it.", Selena defends. "Winston doesn't know that she knows though."

"Have you confronted him?", Jessica asks Lillian.

"No. I want to, but I'm not sure how.", Lillian admits.

"You could start with something like "Are you happy? What makes you happy?", but you know... more casual.", Selena offers.

"I don't know if you should. I mean...what will it do? Winston is king. He can do as he please.", Jessica counters.

"And Lillian is queen. Is that anyway to treat the woman you love?", Selena retorts.

"Well... Does he?", Jessica speaks. The question rattles in Lillian's head as silence feels the room. She wonders whether that was an answer she wanted to know or not. Selena and Jessica had gone back finishing up breakfast after a quick trade off of glances. After putting out the fire under the pot Selena abruptly raises her head.

"What is that smell? Jessica, what are you cooking?", she asks turning her head. Lillian lifts her's.

"Eggs. I thought they'd be a nice addition.", Jessica says.

"Do you not like eggs Selena?", Lillian asks her.

"Oh no, I like eggs. Usually, but I haven't been able to stand the smell of them recently.", Selena tells them.

"Oh, really?", Lillian responds.

"Do you want me to get rid of them?", Jessica offers.

"No you don't have to. It will go away. I feel like I need to lie down anyway.", Selena says.

"I can imagine. You've been up early. A rest is probably needed.", Lillian says putting her thoughts aside.

"Mmm... I don't know. Just the other day I felt tired too. I hope I'm not getting sick.", Selena voices her concern. Lillian gets to her feet and approaches her friend. A curious expression on her face.

"Selena... When is the last time you bleed?", she asks. Selena's eyes instantly widen. A moment passes as she gives the question a thought. Selena's eyes flicker between her friends.

"You...don't think...", before she even finishes speaking, excitement rises in Lillian and Jessica which they release in delighted shouts. Rushing over to Selena they wrap her in hugs. Winston and Alexander rush in to see what is going on.

"What's going on?! What happened?!", one of them asks.

"Oh my goodness! Do you really think?!", Selena asks frantically.

"Of course! What else could it be?!", Jessica tells her. Selena is silent from disbelief.

"Finally.", Lillian says hugging Selena.

Winston and Alexander figure out the situation and look at each other then to the three friends smiling.

"Wait, wait. Let's eat first and then talk.", Selena says. Agreeing with Selena everyone prepares to eat.

"Vincent would have to leave the same day you find out you're pregnant, Selena.", Winston comments as Lillian and Jessica set he and Alexander's meals to them respectively.

"Tough luck for him already. Everyone knows but him.", Alexander adds amused.

"Stop it. The both of you.", Jessica reprimands them. "I'm sure Selena plans on telling him as soon as he returns.", she goes on. Lillian isn't so sure. Now that she thought about it. When was Vincent supposed to come back? She looks to Selena and sees the uncertainty on her face.

"Selena. When is Vincent coming back?", Lillian questions her as they sit at the table. Selena looks to her friends unsure of what and how much to tell them.

"Selena?", Winston speaks. Lillian notices the hint of worry they all are feeling in his voice. Selena takes a short, sharp breath.

"It will be at least two months until Vincent returns.", she releases in a breath with closed eyes.

"Two months?!", comes the unified response.

"Are you serious?! Where is he going?!", Alexander questions. Selena waves her hands in a clearing motion as if to deflect her guest emotions and words.

"Let's say grace and begin eating first. I'll explain what I can.", doing as she requests everyone joins together in prayer. With Winston leading the friends give thanks for seeing another day, the meal before them, and the pregnancies of Lillian and Selena. For which they pray will continue to be and will be well and healthy. They also pray for Vincent to have a safe and successful journey and return home.

"So he will be back near the end of summer.", Alexander states once they finish.

"At least he will be back in time for the birth of his child.", Jessica offers.

"She's right. You're obviously just in the beginning.", Lillian agrees.

"Be that as it may, it still leaves us to deal with Pope Clement until he gets back.", Alexander points out.

"You're talking as if without Vincent we're defenseless.", Winston retorts. Alexander turns to his cousin with a questioning look.

"Are we?", he challenges. Lillian can tell there is more to Alexander's question then what he was saying. To her relief so does Winston.

"Hmph. Of course not, you can gather information on the church's movement for us and Selena knows just as much about scripture as Vincent.", he replies, turning away from his relative with closed eyes before continuing his meal. However, Lillian notices Alexander is unbothered in any way by Winston's answer.

"Anyway... Are you going to write to Vincent and tell him then?", Winston asks, turning the conversation back to Selena.

"No. If I tell him he's going to rush back home or worse be too worried to perform his job properly.", Selena tells them.

"Good point, but you're still going to be basically alone for the first few months of your pregnancy.", Jessica voices concerned.

"I know. But don't worry I'll manage.", Selena assures her.

"I can still visit later on if you like.", Jessica offers.

"I'd love that, thank you Jessica.", Selena replies. Lillian only watches them as Selena and Jessica's friendship forms in front of her eyes. She remembers how Selena would visit her when she was first pregnant and Malinda went off with Jamonson. It will still be some weeks before they return. Possibly even a month.

'Will I be left alone again? Everyone who is close to me is leaving me... Again.', she thinks. Lillian's eyes become unfocused as an old fear creeps into her heart and feels uneasy at the thought.

"Trust us my lady you can leave everything to us.", the voice brings Lillian out of her own mind. She looks to see three servants gathered around Selena. It must have been one of the girls who just spoke.

"Oh no...! I can't just lay around and burden you all with everything.", Selena was replying.

"Come now, my lady what else did you hire us for?", the gentleman speaks.

"To help.", Selena clarifies.

"Well, this is us helping. While master Vincent is away we will take care of the shopping and other chorus.", one of the girls offers.

"While you madam, join in as you wish.", the gentleman finishes.

"Looks as if you got plenty of good help Selena.", Alexander comments.

"Yes, I guess I have nothing to worry about after all.", she agrees. Lillian feels guilty she missed a part of the conversation. As a result she is careful not to miss any more.