Chapter 21: Acceptance

The next day Winston, Lillian, and the queen mother are having breakfast together while looking through papers. Alexander and Jessica also join them. Having taken up Winston's offer to live in the castle for now. Winston's pageboy walks in with a letter in hand.

"Your majesty, a letter from Gordowe.", the servant says stopping beside Winston. Looking up Winston takes the letter.

"Thank you.", he says. With a bow the servant leaves as Winston opens the letter. Everyone waits silently as Winston reads over it. "Selena says Mother Margaret has agreed to help us and will defend herself and the convent. However, there is the problem of them leaving the convent. It's surrounded by church soldiers with.", he informs them once he's done.

"Well you knew that didn't you?", Alexander is the first to speak.

"How did she even get past?", Lillian asks with concern.

"She doesn't say, but now she is basically trapped.", Winston replies.

"How do you intend to get her out?", Winston's mother asks.

"I may have to take the direct approach if I don't think of anything else by Wednesday.", he responds rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"Are you really willing to take the chance of another scruffle breaking out?", Lillian responds.

"I have no choice. The family will start arriving soon. We need a grip on this situation before then.", Winston tells her, getting to his feet. "Alexander I need to get to work on establishing that network. As soon as we have eyes and ears in Lumorra the better."

"As you wish.", Alexander speaks standing up. With that Winston leaves the room with the letter and papers in hand.

"Wait! Winston, what is it I should do?", Lillian asks. Winston turns to her.

"You should know that. I need you to prepare for the visiting nobles, as well as perhaps plan a way to maintain the crown's image.", he tells Lillian.

A shameful look flashes on her face. "O-of course.", she says. Her eyes lowered to the floor.

"Darling, I'll take over the plans for our visitors while you focus on the people. It is exceptionally important how we present ourselves.", the queen mother offers her.

"Thank you.", Lillian replies looking up to her.

"Queen Lillian, if you need me I'll be at the library.", Jessica says as she gets to her feet to leave. Winston continues on his way as Lillian gathers herself and is about to leave.

"No. Stop right there.", the queen mother's words cause Lillian to freeze. Her attention once again returns to Queen Grace who finishes wiping her mouth with a napkin before continuing. "Now then. What's going on?", she asks.

Lillian hesitates for a moment. "I-I'm sorry.", she finally manages.

"There's no need to play coy my dear. You're clearly troubled by something."

Lillian is taken back by the queen mother's words. Was she that easy to read? "I'm not sure what you mean? It's just still early, so my mind isn't quite fully awake yet.", Lillian tells her.

"Well you surely weren't up all night talking to Winston. To do that you would have to be in the same room, and any other time you would be quite proactive in your duties in order to make sure that Winston knows how valuable you are. For the first time even pregnant you're off, so why?", Queen Grace responds straightforwardly.

Unable to see a way out Lillian sighs heavily in defeat. This makes it twice now she has to tell someone about Winston's unfaithfulness to her. Except this time she has to say it herself.

"I don't want to.", she speaks quietly.

"Come again?", the queen mother responds, not having heard her. Tears of desperation swell in Lillian's eyes. Her voice gradually is overtaken by it as well.

"I don't want to… I don't want to have to say it. Hearing it is one thing, but… Saying it myself will make it real.", Lillian says shaking her head. She wipes her cheeks as her tears fall. The sight surprises Queen Grace who's face morphs to pity, yet it only makes her more determined.

"My dear, before a problem can be solved you must first admit there is one. Denial is one thing, but at some point it is foolishness. Do you understand?", the queen mother tells her gently, but firmly.

Lillian takes a shaky breath. As she does the queen mother clears the room of the remaining servants. Lillian takes a moment to gather her thoughts and strength.

"Winston has been with another woman, and she is pregnant.", Lillian says finally.

"O-oh. No, no, no. He told you this?", the queen mother responds. Lillian shakes her head.

"No. He doesn't know that I know. I had a dream that warned me-no showed me-that he betrayed me, but it was Selena who told me. She even showed me who the woman was at the Spring Festival.", Lillian replies.

"So that's what has been going on with you two. I'm so sorry this has happened to you.", Queen Grace says to her.

"I don't know what to do, Grace.", Lillian replies.

"I can imagine. However, there is nothing you can do.", Queen Grace tells her before taking a breath and releasing it. "Unfortunately, you must continue on as if you don't know."

Lillian looks down at the floor. She was aware of that even if their relationship with the church was on good terms it would be unlikely for them to grant a divorce upon her request. It also wouldn't be good for the royal family itself.

"Of course that's only in terms of appearance. In the meantime you know inside what to do.", Queen Grace's statement results in Lillian raising her head confused. "Pray. Take your worries to the only one who is above your husband; God. Let him fix it."

"Is that what you would do?", Lillian counters.

"It's what I had to do.", she responds. Taken by surprise Lillian remains silent. As a result Queen Grace continues. "It may seem like nothing to the average person, but as a wife you must pray for your husband and your marriage, for if you confront him or her you may just lose him."

"Faith without work is dead, is it not?"

"That's right. That is why you must continue your duties as a wife and trust God. Everything will be made right, but you have to trust and know it."

Lillian thinks about Queen Grace's words. To just sit back and say nothing is a difficult choice, but anything else could result in her losing everything.