One evening, as I scrolled through her social media, I saw something that made my chest tighten.
A picture of her with a stranger. It was a guy.
They were holding hands and looked suspicious to me.
I stared at the screen, hoping I was imagining things. Maybe it was just a casual gesture. Maybe it didn't mean anything.
But the comments beneath the picture told a different story.
"You two look so cute together!"
"Couple goals!"
"Finally made it official?"
My hands trembled as I typed a message.
"Who is he?"
It took a while before she replied.
Meanwhile I was in a state if panic. I waited for her response. And when she did, her response shattered me.
"We are just friends, why are you acting like this? Are you really that insecure?"
I stared at the words.
Insecure!
So now, I was the jealous boyfriend now?
I clenched my phone tightly. This wasn't just distance pulling us apart. This was something else. Something deeper. Something I wasn't sure we could fix.
She would occasionally go out with strangers, going out on bars. And would post photos of her with her male bestie.
I still tried to overlook it. And not once but on several occasions. As one could swear, she had tons of red flags but I still wanted to be with her.
I said sorry, asked for her forgiveness many times. I even made efforts on my behalf, but she didn't seem to care nor showed any remorse of her attitude.
So, I decided to make friends as well. Itbwas around this time, I too was having friends but never serious, I just wanted to see if it's really my insecurities. I had many female friends, some more flirtatious in nature. But I always kept my distance. I told them that I already have someone waiting for me. And this did hurt one particular girl. With whom I acted a bit more flirtatious just to play around and make My Lady in Green feel jealous.
She had the same name and looked similar, perhaps this is why I chose her. I was never serious with her and never acted like that. But she took my fun a bit seriously and fell for me. I realized it and made things clear but she thought I was playing with her emotions.
Either way, My Lady in Green was too busy with her new just friend as she said. I never let any other girl touch me or hug me. But there she was casually hugging her just friend.