Ch 19: A changed man.

Days passed, and I found myself in a state of numbness. I stopped checking my phone for messages. I stopped waiting for her calls. Slowly, I began to shut down. I stopped talking to anyone about it, because I knew they wouldn't understand.

I felt depressed and wanted to cry my heart out. I remembered when I used to pray for her, to be safe, to be mine and whatnot. And all of these came to no conclusion.

The person I had loved with all my heart, the girl who had once been my world, was now a stranger. And that hurt more than the words she had said to me.

I stopped trying. I stopped fighting for something that wasn't coming back.

The pain, the loss, the heartache, it was all there, but I buried it. Because, deep down, I knew I couldn't keep going back to something that was already broken. It was over.

And in times such as these, I decided to write. Actually she played an important role in it too.

My poems felt like pain and sorrow, my stories full of tragedy. Every art I did made me remember her. As I would unwillingly draw her eyes, draw her face.

But on a good term it was making me feel better as I was bursting it all out in paper and ink.

And with each lesson, I became better. So, I thought let's do something, let's write about our good times as well. Maybe it will help me come out of this misery.

With that in mind, I decided to write poetry, on our first encounter, our bitter-sweet memories, our relationship, our bonds, my crushes, my failed love life and many more. I was in my 6th semester during this time and I remember once I joked around my friend saying that heartbreaks are necessary for poets and it came out true.

And when my heart finally let go, I was free. I had no memories of her anymore, all of that was deleted through writing. And hence a writer was born.