Doofenshmirtz Hero Incorporated! by skibro836
Links: -https://fiction.live/stories/Doofenshmirtz-Hero-Incorporated-/TjERuKJt5wwGn9fFH/home
( The events of the 2nd Dimension film go just a little off course...)
Synopsis
Doofenshmirtz makes a minor error in the construction of the Other-Dimension-Inator, which when incidentally triggered by him during a scuffle with Perry the Platypus, sends him off and away to a land of Quirks.
Shenanigans are to be expected.
Doofenshmirtz makes a minor error in the construction of the Other-Dimension-Inator, which when incidentally triggered by him during a scuffle with Perry the Platypus, sends him off and away to a land of Quirks.
The Most Important Choice: QUEST NAME! -Voting closed - 129 voters
VOTES
Doofenschmirtz Hero Incorporated!
57/1163
Doofenschmirtz Hero Academia! (Inc)
6/151
Doofenschmirtz Hero Academe Incorporated!
1/2
Quick Note before you begin reading.
I like chatting with y'all, but Please. This is a Teen Rated Quest, so no Lewd, no NSFW, none of that and no racially or politically charged shit. You will be bonked with the hammer for asking to post it, I've had enough people fail to read WoG and the Tags to spend any more time or sanity correcting it.
Be respectful, that's all I ask. Thank you for Reading, and without further ado..!
With a screwdriver in hand, you screwed the panel shut and pat the metal frame. "There we go. I knew there was some funny wiring back there, that's what I get for working with a bad sleep schedule." You snap a finger. "That would be a good one, The Deep Sleep Inator! A good eight hours of sleep at just one push of a button… Norm, clean this up!"
"You got it, sir!" Norm, ever the helpful… assistant, takes away the screwdriver. And the blowtorch on the floor. And the plastic and metal scrap around you. He does a lot! Maybe you should pay him a salary?
"Thank you Norm! Now, just to sit back and wait for-"
PERRY!
You turn to see your usual ARCH NEMESIS on a handglider coming towards you from the balcony, the hat flapping on his head. You know, you probably should get yourself a snazzy hat. Try to dress up, go out on the town, maybe try your moves? You could make an inator for it, and an EEEEEVIL wife would be the greatest~! Ah, but that means Vanessa might be uncomfortable-Oh he's getting closer, get your head out of the gutter! "Ah, Perry the Platypus, how totally unexpected. And by totally unexpected-actually, no, this time I'm a little surprised, I didn't even send a letter or a menacing implication to Monobrow. How did you..?" You shake your head.
"Doesn't matter, I got some rope in the corner, you can trap yourself while I explain away my EVIL PLAN!"
"Grgrgrgrgr."
"Look, I know I'm a little underprepared but in my defense I had a pretty sleepless night! I was busy working on the 2nd Dimension Inator - Oooh let me explain!"
You gesture both your hands at the work of art you'd made. "Behold! THE SECOND DIMENSION INATOR! With one push of the button and some careful coordinate calibration I can open a portal to another Dimension, one with another ME! Double the Heinz Doofenschmirtz, Double the EEEEEVIL! Or double the backstories, we'll have to work that one out. Maybe a duet?"
"Grgrgrgrgr."
"Oh hey that's a good idea, I could get the band that does my jingles and we could make a whole day of it!" You turn to look at the inator of a week's work, wiggling your fingers eeeevilly. "Now, to turn it o-"
BAM!
You rub your face, pulling it away from the buttons. Should be alright, you didn't hit it too hard! "Ow, my nose! Low blow, Perry the Platypus!" Swinging around, you engage with your now free nemesis. "Two can play at that game! Norm, help me out here!"
Rushing at Perry the Platypus, you swing your fist and he jumps over it, then backs away and towards the clutter-filled corner of the room Norm was busy in. Perfect!
Scrap goes everywhere as Norm shoots out of his pile, and Perry just ducks under the swinging arms. "Please stay still."
"Norm, not the scrap! Now I'm going to have to clean it later! And by me I mean you."
"Aw shucks."
BAM!
Your distraction of scrap going everywhere ears you a dropkick to the face! You stumble back, holding your cheek. "Ah!"
The oddly familiar feeling of a button pushing on your back and the hum of an Inator leaves you with a sense of worry. "Uh oh. CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATY-"
AH, EVERYTHING IS WHITE AND BRIGHT!
When the light fades, you finally see yourself... -Voting closed - 33 voters
VOTES
In the middle of an office, with some mammal in a suit is sitting with tea. Is this OWCA? Argh, your head hurts.
18/252
Falling from high up into an indoor whirlpool. Who has an Indoor Whirlpool? What kind of person pays for a whirlpool? What a waste!
8/8
Somewhere in a city, and there's... huh. Well, this is a little different than what you thought the Tri-State Area would look like. Did the Avengers take it over or something?
5/71
Dice? -Voting closed - 23 voters
VOTES
Yes, Some Dice. (Bo3 d100 for background things such as Inator Construction, Teaching and Combat are Narrative.)
14/18
Yes, Lotsa Dice. (Bo3 d100 for a lot of things, Gonna be working out Statline Fun.)
3/4
No, Narrative stuff. (Understandable!)
3/3
Perry the Platypus? -Voting closed - 20 voters
VOTES
No, it was just his Hat... (You got a snazzy hat! No Perry though)
13/17
Perry's made it with you! (Shenanigans, Phineas and Ferb are Approaching Your Location)
2/35
[Nezu - Principal of U.A. High]
Nezu was enjoying a nice, relaxing cup of Jasmine tea.
Finals had come and recently gone for the students, and the current 1-A class that Aizawa was having difficulties with were going to be shoved into General Studies for a time, mostly in order to let them see the error of their ways. That was getting the Commission breathing on his neck, but it always did; if the students required an Ultimatum, then something like that worked as a rather effective warning… albeit with minor problems.
Not that Aizawa-San was doing a terrible job; on the contrary, the mammal was more than appreciative of the idea of a 'Logical Ruse'. He added such a thing to his own repertoire after all!
But a 'ruse' of this magnitude has lead to a few students pulling out of the school entirely, and that was a problem. It needed a more careful hand, maybe something that could work well without stepping on the Eraser Hero's toes. Hence why he was sitting here, thinking possible solutions over his head with a relaxing cup of tea while flipping through the cameras and watching the progress of various classes.
1-B had been excelling, and likely would take the place of 2-A for the hard work they were putting in for the coming year. Vlad was doing his best to teach and encourage them, of course, but he wasn't the greatest outside of hands-on work.
2-A was, even after their exams, in the Unforeseen Simulation Joint, and the up and coming 'Big Three' were making quick work of Thirteen's current practice. He had much hope for them!
2-B didn't want to be left in the dust of course, so they were practicing in teams with Snipe and Cementoss on Ground Gamma, and from what he could see they were practicing shootout scenarios while minimizing risk and damage to themselves and terrain. Some of the students could use some work, but that's what the school was for!
Finally, there was the recent email on the monitor affirming that All Might would be working here next semester, and that gave Nezu the room to smile a little wider than usual. The Symbol of Peace is an excellent way to deflect any concerns, founded or otherwise.
Today has been good.
Then there was the screaming and a portal opened, a lanky European man crashing into his coffee table and breaking said table with a scream. "AAAAAAGH-Ow."
This was no longer going like the relaxing tea time he envisioned.
You stumble to your feet, hand clutching your skull and crumpling something in the process. "Oh, my head… well at least that crick in my spine is gone. Man, my back must be terrible if a fall made it feel better. I really need to see a chiropractor." Uncrumpling whatever was in your hand, you look to find… a hat. A very snazzy hat. A very snazzy hat that would fit on a Platypus's head.
You peer at the white tab inside. PROPERTY OF PERRY THE PLATYPUS.
"Well, jokes on you, Perry the Platypus! It's MY hat now! HAHAHAHAHA!" You straighten it out, patting the dust and wood chips off of it before setting it on your head. Wood chips?
You check your lab coat. "Oh no, I just had this all dry cleaned! Now I'm gonna have to get that sorted out. But where did the liquid come from…" A testing finger wipes up some of the brown liquid and puts it to your tongue. "Oh, it's tea."
You look to see a mammal in a suit. "Huh. A mammal in a suit?"
He hops to his feet from his seat, a small smile forming on a previously confused mammal face.
"Am I a-"
"WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH." You cut off whatever IT has to say. "Woah. Woah! I know I can speak Ocelot and Platypus but I'm pretty sure that's neither of those." A pause passes as you think things over. "Oh and Whale, but whales are jerks so I forget I can speak that sometimes."
"Yes, I can speak Japanese just fine."
You snap a finger. "Aha! Good thing I took that course when Vanessa had that Anee-May phase. Sorry for making a mess of the place, you can send the bill to my EEEEEVIL counterpart in this world."
"I'm sorry?"
"You're sorry? For what, the tea?" You wave them off. "Don't worry about it, I'll find a dry cleaner sooner or later. I just need to know, do you know where Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated is?"
The talking mammal in a suit has its smile twitch. "I believe you misunderstand. Who are you and why did you fall in here from a portal?"
"Oooooh, I see. You want my Dramatic Backstory! Thankfully I have just the thing..!" You pilfer through your coat and pull out a small hand-held beam weapon. "It's battery powered but I recharged it last week. BEHOLD, THE DRAMATIC BACKSTORY INATOR! Just one push of the button and I can show you whatever Dramatic Backstory I want to talk about! It has to be real, of course, I can't just lie about Dramatic Backstories."
You raise the Dramatic Backstory Inator and fire it into your face. Above you a film started to play, as if your mind was projecting it. "So it all started when I was trying to take over the Tri-State Area…"
"…I see." He was drinking a new cup of tea from a fresh batch. Man, could he go through his tea like nobody's business! It was really impressive, but maybe he just liked how it tasted. Was he British? "Do you mind if you stay here for the day, and I invite someone for you to talk to?"
"Oh, sure! But only if you tell me where Doofenschmirtz Evil Incorporated is located here."
"I'll need a day, but rest assured I will search vicariously for any mention."
"Thanks! Uh, so where should I, uh, go?"
"If you could give me a second, I'll call someone up to help you get a little more situated in the meanwhile." The mink in a suit, he called himself Nezdu so you'll call him that, grabs a wired phone that's now on the floor and presses a key. "Midnight, could you please come to my office? Nothing serious, I assure you. Thank you." He puts it down.
"It will be just a moment. Before she comes here, however, could I ask you a final question?"
"Go ahead, go ahead!"
"You said you have a brother that looks like you, correct?"
"Oh, you mean Roger? Yeah, he's like me but he looks more like a jock. Don't tell him, but I'm a little jealous of it. Never could do gym work, and while I could make an Inator to help it would just be faster and easier to make a robot to do it for me. A Norm 2 would be useful!"
"Perhaps this school could help with that."
"This is a school? Oh, then you're the principal." You blink. "Huh."
"Not what you expected?"
"Not really, no. You seem pretty nice for a principal. Kids do better with positive reinforcement than negative."
"I prefer a Carrot and Stick approach, myself."
You shrug. "If you make it work!"
At that point, the door opens and-"What kind of-Oh, that's just not right! That's worse than Evil!"
"Eh? Principal Nezu, what's going on? What happened to your office?!"
"It's a long story, Midnight. Could you please escort Mr. Doofenschmirtz to one of the temporary apartments for teachers?"
"Oh nuh uh, not when she's dressed like that! What would the children think?! What kind of school lets someone, let alone a teacher strut around in a dominatrix suit?!"
"Ehhh..?!"
"…I believe he's going through quite the culture shock."
You take off your labcoat and wrap it around the woman, looking at the principal you thought would be sensible with betrayal. "Nezdu, I thought you were a better principal than this! Come on, children are sensitive and can be permanently disfigured by what they experience in childhood! You can't be shoving this into their faces when they're at school! Come on, I'm EVIL, and I know that's wrong!"
Without waiting for an answer, you step out of the office dragging the stammering lady in clothes she really shouldn't be wearing.
When the door closes, you look back to her. "Ah! Sorry about doing that, I've been a little all over the place since I fell in there. I also might have a concussion. Is there an infirmary here or something?"
"I-I'm sorry, you're evil? Are you… are you okay?"
"Well I did hit my head in the fall, that's why I want to see that infirmary. There is one at the school, right? I know my school didn't have one, but modern schools did. Or should if they don't. Kids need to be taken care of!"
"…Right. L-Let's get you to Recovery Girl."
You blink. "What's up with the names, anyway? Midnight I can understand, but that's not really a Japanese name, at least I don't think so. And Recovery Girl, that isn't even trying! What are you all, super heroes?"
"…"
"So you're telling me that I'm in a super-powered society filled with nothing but crazy powers?"
"You honestly don't know?"
"Of course not, I just got here!"
"I think the concussion was worse than you thought…"
"I mean I feel pretty fine, my back feels better than normal, just feels like a bit of a bruise on the back of my head."
Midnight mutters. "Doesn't sound like you're fine going off of how crazy you're talking."
"You're calling me the crazy one, but you're the one wearing an outfit like… like that!"
"This is perfectly fine, I'm expressing myself!"
"You're expressing that you're repressed in ways I find uncomfortable, that or you have some very weird ways to 'express' miss dominatrix!"
She clicks her tongue, still wrapped in your lab coat. "God you're too conservative."
"I'm a socialist, thank you very much!"
"…Oh forget it, we're here!" The woman storms off towards a pair of double doors with the word 'Nurse' above them. "Recovery Girl!"
You're reminded of Vanessa when she gets embarrassed. If you're gone for, say, a week or two, maybe you should be fine. Maybe you can get her some souvenirs? Toys in another world might be different! Oh, a few music albums as an apology gift for being absent for when she visits…
Finding a way back's now at the top of your list, if only to tell Vanessa you're going to be away for a time and rub having Perry the Platypus's hat into his face!
You walk into the nurse's office to make sure that everything is A OK in your head, following behind the woman that reminded you of your daughter but is way too old to be her.
Oh, and there's someone reasonably dressed. They have a lab coat, too!
"You're the one giving Midnight here a fit, right?"
"I mean, I think she's overreacting a little, but yes I did."
"He said I'm not dressed right to teach!"
"And if I was principal I'd say he's right, Nemuri."
"Abuh-! Not you too..!"
"Oh thank God there's somebody else that agrees with me. Hi, I'm Dr. Heinz Doofenschmirtz, but you can just call me Heinz or Dr. Doof." You wince, rubbing the back of your head and taking in a breath. "I know my last name tough to say, so there's no need to try saying it. I think I got a concussion, could you look me over?"
"Doof-San, go take a seat over on that bed and I'll take a look."
You listen to the woman and go to take a seat as she clambers over on her little cane.
"…You're good, just some bruising." You feel a sudden wet spot on the back of your head and just like that, you feel… better?
Helpful Nurse and Weird 'Teacher'. You're not sure what just happened, but you DO feel better. -Voting closed - 53 voters
VOTES
+ To nurse - Wow you must save a bundle on health insurance
25/39
Thank the nurse profusely and ask what Inator she has on hand that could make you feel better so quickly.
24/32
+ "So other than being an area of effect testosterone poisoning device...what exactly *is* your superpower Miss Midnight? And I'm pretty sure my ex wife would call that other one just being a woman."
17/241
+ Gesture to Midnight - Please tell me that all the girl heroes don't dress like her! I mean I'm not one to judge another person fashion choices but I'd have a heart attack and ground Vanessa till she hit her thirties if she tried to go out wearing this! (Gesture toward gapping in disbelief Midnight)
11/182
+ That gives you an idea: "I present to you, the blueprints for the REJUVE-NATOR!"
10/16
+ "...so what's the deal with the principle? is he actually an animal with superpowers or a human with animal form superpowers that he just never turns off."
7/11
+This Reminds me of the time I met the Evil organization of the Avenger
1/5
"Is this what a mother's kiss is supposed to feel like? Huh...I can see why people go on about it." MAXIMUM IMPACT!
Doof is unaware it was a kiss, I'm afraid.
1
Have a flashback
This is a sacred QM right.
1
You reach to the back of your head, rubbing it and finding it sore no longer. "Oh wow!"
Recovery Girl walks around from behind you, then pulls out a jar with gummies in them. "Please take one, they're vitamin gummies."
"Oh, don't mind if I do! Thank you very much, I usually would take supplements in the morning so this is perfect!" You pop a red one in your mouth. Cherry!
As you chew on the gummy, you frown as you realize something. "You know, you gotta be saving one heckuva premium on health insurance with something like that. Is it more publicly available?"
"Publicly available? Whatever do you mean, Doof-San?"
"I mean the Inator you used of course! It was silent and I feel refreshed from it! It must be small, because I have no idea where it went."
Her brows furrow. "…Doof-San, do you think I used an… Inator, to heal you?"
"Of course! If I had one, say, a REJUVEN-INATOR! Then I could do it too! I'd need to work out how to keep the cell growth from causing cancer but… just inciting the growth rather than forcing it should be fine, right?"
Midnight, still wearing your labcoat, just blinks in surprise. "Wha-?! You think you can make something to heal people with?"
"You're a tinkerer, Doof-San?"
"Well… most people think I'm a pharmacist when they see my labcoat, but really I'm more of an Evil Scientist type. I make Inators all the time, earned a degree and everything."
Recovery Girl opens and closes her mouth, brow furrowing more. "…Do you do evil laughs? Monologues? Traps?"
"Oh! All the time! I've even got a few musicals planned, had dance routine practice and everything!"
"Okay, I see what's up." With a swing, she taps her cane on the ground to catch Midnight's attention. "He's an eccentric, not malicious."
"Hey, I may be eccentric, but I have style! You can't be Evil without Style!"
"No, no you can't Doof-San. Now, I'm sure Midnight here had somewhere to take you?"
"H-huh? Oh, right, the temp teacher apartments."
Recovery Girl waves back when you leave, she even gives you an extra gummy. How nice!
[Nezu - Principal of U.A. High]
Nezu's chances for a good afternoon evening have become a roller-coaster.
It went down rather quickly when the equivalent of a stringbean version of Detnerat's CEO crashed and shattered his coffee table, apologized profusely, then demonstrated technology that made his hairs stand on end with the casualness of the display.
"It's battery powered but I just recharged it last week."
That statement alone spoke volumes on the odd man's intelligence with the context included.
Beside him was the 'backup Dramatic Backstory Inator', one the principal had since replaced the batteries in. "Of course I have an extra, why wouldn't I keep a spare in case the first one gets damaged? What kind of Evil Scientist would I be if I couldn't share my backstories properly?"
He tested the original one by checking what he was doing before 'Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz' landed in his office, and he could not find a single flaw in the replay of the film. It was picture-perfect, and in the realm of technology, unheard of.
With the backup, he first tried that memory again, and once again found no flaws. Even as he pushed his quirk, looking over every nook and cranny of the visual showing him drinking his tea and looking over the reports, he could feel that it was his memory.
So he tried a different memory.
Older and colder, of a time when he was caged.
This is real. This is truly pulling from the subconscious mind and sharing what is there in perfect clarity. Even that which was forgotten… it is here.
There were identical, memorable faces to the old pains, ones which Nezu would be sure to etch into his memory again of the sort of people to never see the light of day if he were to help it. And that alone was sign enough of the technology's accuracy and functionality.
Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz is an enigma, one which has already left Nezu wanting to keep him here.
And that, of course, is when a call comes into the office phone.
"Hello?"
"Principal Nezu!"
"Power Loader San, is everything al-?"
"Who's in the teacher apartments?!"
"A temporary guest, why?"
"There's been a massive spike in power consumption from there!"
Nezu reaches for the smokes in his desk, then relents and pours himself another glass of tea. "I would ask you come to my office and ignore him if it isn't a threat to the integrity of the school. I have something of interest to share that would mollify you."
"…It should be fine, but it's going to be a dent in the budget if it lasts long."
"We have money to spare, don't worry about that."
"Alright… I'll be over in a few minutes."
"See you then!" He ends the call cheerfully, then checks his vibrating phone.
I'll be there in the morning - Tsukauchi.
Things are progressing well enough.
Bo3 1d100, INATOR 1: REJUVEN-INATOR- Closed - be the first to post.
Dice: 1d100
36 = 36
Dice: 1d100
32 = 32
Dice: 1d100
30 = 30
Dice: 1d100
31 = 31
Dice: 1d100
59 = 59
Bargain Was Struck with QM. Will be taking this Roll.
You're dropped off in your new apartment, sans labcoat (Midnight said she'd get it drycleaned for you, how nice of her!) and you find several just the right materials to get started on the Rejuven-Inator!
…Well, not 'just the right materials', more 'Microwave and Toaster parts, the Recliner's springs and coils, some copper from the walls, a lamp, the lamppost, and a lightswitch knob'. But it works all the same, so what does it matter?
Much like all your Inators, cobbled from the finest parts available to a man on a Drusselstein budget, it could look better and probably be made more carefully, but honestly for a slapdash work you're not going to complain!
As a quick test, you prick your chest and let the Rejuven-Inator have a go at it, the green glow suddenly making the cut go right away. "Success! Hahah!"
You toss a fist in the air, shouting in triumph before shouting in pain, accidentally punching the light fixture in the kitchen. "…Good thing I have this to fix it?"
The bruised synthskin on your titanium arm is fixed good as new under the light, and just to make sure you're fine you use it on your back and head too.
After that… you're feeling a little pooted from all the EEEEVIL of the day.
One more thing!
You fashion yourself a phone charger before checking your photo album. It's gonna be a little lonely until you have a place to actually work. Have a good night at home, Vanessa. And Curse you, Perry the Platypus! Good night, sleep tight!
You close your eyes to have a good night's sleep, feeling like you're forgetting… something. Ah well!
The Rejuven-Inator continues to run as Doofenschmirtz rests, burning out the lightbulb in the process! The U.A. budget has taken a small dent in electricity costs!