Coactus Risus

"Shawl, can you hear me? Shawl?"

I look up to see a figure with a creepy smile stretched across his mask-like face. The lesser god, whom I've dubbed Smile, stares down at me. My head hurts. The side effect of being in the gods' realm.

"Listen, you have to- YAAARHHH!!!"

With a howl of pain, the masked god is thrown to the floor. The picturesque scene around me seems to blur and fade.

A woman stands above Smile, her face livid. Long vines curl themselves around Smile's neck and torso. He chokes as the plant tightens around his throat.

"RISUS!!! HOW DARE YOU-"

---

I sit up with a jolt. My head hurts, like it's still on fire. It looks like I'm back in the hospital. Scrambling out of bed, I get to my feet. A sudden rush of blood to my head leaves me dizzy. I stand unsteadily for a moment, regaining my balance.

"Where do you think you're going, Seb," Vol's voice questions me.

"I have to get to the church."

I have to know what happened. I have to see for myself.

Trying to take a few steps forward, I realize that my balance is still off, and I have to lean against a wall. Vol's footsteps approach me from the back.

"That's not a good idea. You really need to lie back in bed. You're not healed yet."

"I'm fi-"

"You're *not* fine, Seb. Look at yourself."

He points me at a mirror on the other side of the room, and half-carries me over to it.

The sight that greets me in the mirror is not a comforting one. In fact, I dare say that it is very much *un*comfortable. Crisp skin covered in burn marks and ashes. Half burnt clothes. A scalded red scalp, with occasional lumps of hair missing, as though torn out.

"This was... the fireball spell?"

"That's what Elizabeth says. What the hell were you thinking, Seb?"

"I don't have time. I need to have to the church."

"What? Why? What's so important at the church?"

What do I say? I think a god is about to be murdered? He already thinks I've lost my mind. But what partial truth - no - what complete and utter lie would convince him to let me go?

...

There is none.

"Please help me. I have to get to the church."

"Seb, please, you have to lie down."

"Please help me. I have to get to the church."

"...Seb."

A door at the end of the room opens and a woman with blonde hair and golden armor enters the room.

"Elizabeth," I hear Vol start, "help me get him back in bed-"

"Please help me. I have to get to the church."

Elizabeth stands there for a few seconds. Just staring.

"Okay. We'll go to the church."

---

Even though the church is just a few turns away from the hospital, the walk there was far from short. It took longer than it should have and, despite Vol and Elizabeth half-carrying me, I had to stop and rest several times.

We arrive at the church. Elizabeth holds me up while Vol opens the front door for us. One of the nuns notices us entering and hurries over to hold the door. She doesn't comment on my terrible state or question why we're there. I guess a lot of broken people come here. But I'm not broken.

I'll be alright. Eventually.

Vol thanks the nun, who closes the door silently after us.

"Are you in need of healing," she asks, professionally.

"That's-" Vol starts, but I interrupt him.

I know it's not the nicest thing to do, but I've already lost too much time. I don't know much about "Smile," but he seems to be genuinely trying to help me. And I need all the information I can get.

"A private-" I take a deep breath in the middle of my sentence, "-room."

The nun seems to hesitate for a moment.

"Very well. There's one available on your right," she says, gesturing to a room.

Vol and Elizabeth carry me into the small room together, letting the door close behind us. We reach the middle of the room and I push myself off them, collapsing onto the floor.

"Seb? What is it? What do you need?"

"Sit... Both of you."

My breathing heavy, I hear them sit down. I feel the warmth of their presence next to me. With some difficulty, I rearrange myself into the right posture, trying to steady my breathing. My heart is racing from the effort of getting here. Or maybe it's something else.

I've never tried to bring someone else into a communion with the gods. I close my eyes as I try to focus on the god of nature, Gaia.

"Seb?"

"Shh."

This isn't working. I can't focus on Gaia properly. Is it because I know she isn't actually Gaia? Can I no longer picture her as Gaia? Or maybe it's something else. I can't tell.

There must be something. Something or someone to focus on.

Right. If there's one god I've had closer contact with than Gaia - Not Gaia - it's him. Smile. He's the clearest image of a god I've ever had. And he's brought me all the way to the realm of the gods.

And unless I'm much mistaken, Not Gaia said his name. His real name.

What was it, again?

Right.

"Risus."