The Lonely Crowd

I'm lost in a sea of nameless faces,

Adrift in a crowd that my heart never embraces.

Their chatter and laughter just echoes unheard,

For deep in this crowd, I've never felt so alone.

Friends circle around me with comfort and care,

Yet their sympathy leaves me empty and bare.

They try to reach out, to see the real me,

But the truth is too vast for them to ever see.

I yearn for a soulmate to know my inner woes,

The fears I hide underneath the mask I chose.

Craving to unlock the chambers within,

And expose my true self I've kept covered in sin.

But each time I try, my nerves turn to stone,

I retreat back within, where I sit there alone.

My words barely scratch the surface so deep,

Of emotions churning that cause me to weep.

This lonely sea threatens to pull me within,

Isolation's current drags me further downstream.

Bob on the surface wearing a painted grin,

While inside I'm fractured and starting to thin.

They don't realize I am slowly sinking,

Pulled further down by my overthinking.

On the outside composed, but inside I'm reeling,

From the weight of dark thoughts

I can't stop from wheeling.

If I speak my truth will it cause them to flee?

Abdicate their concern and abandon poor me?

Profoundly afraid of that fate I contrive,

To keep my true self locked away, barely alive.

But each day grows harder to keep up pretenses,

Exhaustion weighs heavy in every sentence.

I fear I will slip and reveal the real mess,

That dwelss far beneath this socially skilled dress.

Is there no one who sees the storms in my eyes?

That notice my smiles transform into lies?

Won't someone reach out before I submerge?

Extend me a hand and help me resurface.

But perhaps I alone can answer the call,

And pull my true essence up from its great fall.

Shed fear's cold grip, unlock the shackles within,

Expose my raw soul though they refuse me again.

For only in truth will my spirit break free,

From this crushing loneliness surrounding me.

If I ride isolation's wave to its end,

I'll emerge on new shores, true life again.

So I'll cut through these waters with courage so bold,

Allow my full self to finally unfold.

Shed fear's gray coat colored with doubt,

I'll rise up empowered, darkness cast out.

No matter if some choose to leave me behind,

I'll embrace my lone journey with peace of mind.

Through raw exposure the lonely veil lifts,

As from the cold sea my spirit soars and drifts.