The Lost Boy

The Wood Sect was a powerful sect within the cultivation world, known for their generosity, courage, and idealism. They had more negative traits, such as anger and hopelessness, but they were less mentioned, since nobody wished to associate such a wonderful sect with such negativity. They were run and founded by the Shu clan, who to that day ruled and led the sect, often adopting others into their family to carry on their legacy in the case of having no heirs. However, they happened to be known for their fertility, and often had multiple legacy children. That was once the case, as the previous sect leader had four children, and his eldest son had two sons of his own. These sons were Shu Ganmao and Shu Zhijing.

Shu Ganmao once had a son, but the poor boy was kidnapped in the dead of night, and nobody had seen him since. There had been hunts by the disciples to find the lost young master, but he was never found. Nobody looked harder than his uncle, Shu Zhijing, who had catered to the boy in ways even his father had never done. His mother… The boy's mother wasn't of import, and nobody dared to speak of her, especially never in front of the Shu blood family, since all inner court disciples were allowed to take the Shu name to show their devotion to the clan and their sect.

It had been four years since the boy went missing, however, and Shu Ganmao and Shu Zhijing's father, a great cultivator, had gotten ill. This illness was not common, not contagious, and it was unfortunately deadly even for the most practiced cultivator. It was going to kill the man, a poison in his dantian, spreading through his meridians, and poisoning the cultivated core he had condensed. The effects could be prolonged, but not ceased, and so Shu Zhijing stayed by his father's side, taking care of him much like one would have expected a daughter to.

"I need to tell you something, A-Jing," the man's father spoke to him, his fists clenched in the blanket that covered him. Shu Zhijing wiped the sweat from the man's head, his face stoic despite his heartbreak at losing his father so young. "A-Jing, your nephew--" the old man coughed, spewing blackened blood from his lips. Shu Zhijing calmly wiped his hands and face with a cloth before he settled him back down in his bed.

"You can tell me tomorrow. You need to rest, shufu," Shu Zhijing said. "I'll be here before you wake, and I'll stay until I know you're truly asleep. But please rest." The man was wary of his son, eyeing him suspiciously, but he relented and nodded, resting his head back on his cushion and closing his eyes. Shu Zhijing tended to his father as he said, late into the night until he was properly asleep, and only then did he leave. He headed back to his room, but he was stopped by a disciple in nearly pure green, a high ranking disciple hailing from a distant subclan of the sect, but a man with a strong face and soft eyes. Shu Zhijing stared at the man for a moment before he turned away.

"I can't see you right now, Qiaodan," Shu Zhijing said. Using Qiaodan's courtesy name wasn't something either man was used to. "Please, let me pass."

"No," Qiaodan said. He reached out to hold Shu Zhijing's soft hands in his own, but Shu Zhijing snatched them away quickly. Qiaodan looked to the floor with a stricken expression. "Why do you hide from me? After everything, I thought…"

"You must have been mistaken," Shu Zhijing insisted, his jaw tensing as he spoke. "Now, I need to get past… Please?" His voice was strong until the end, where it came infinitely softer, full of a gentleness and care that he hadn't shown otherwise thus far. Things were silent and tense between them for a moment, until Qiaodan, in the soft and most broken voice asked:

"Do you not love me anymore?"

Shu Zhijing's eyes widened and he looked around quickly, trying to confirm that they were truly alone. He grabbed Qiaodan by the upper arm and dragged him to his room before tossing him inside. Before he slid his doors shut, he frantically checked outside. He turned to look at Qiaodan, whose tanned face had turned red, and his eyes had gotten even more pink with unshed anguish. The man was heartbroken. The man was bereft and he needed a confirmation that Shu Zhijing couldn't give him for his own safety.

"I can't love you Qiaodan. It's prohibited… I was wrong to have said anything to make you think otherwise," Shu Zhijing said, his mouth barely moving as he spoke. His words were so quiet, and yet so loud. "We need to stop seeing each other. For good. If someone else-- I mean, if someone finds out, then we could be severely punished."

"Who found out?" Qiaodan asked. He grabbed at the silken bell sleeves that covered Shu Zhijing's arms and squeezed with urgency. "Please, I must know: who was it? Did they threaten to tell the other elders? You're the young master, they can't just punish you like that."

"That's exactly why they would punish me," Shu Zhijing said. "It's wrong, what we do, what we feel, and I would serve as an example to keep others from straying… Now, we've talked, so you can leave. Don't come back, it's safer that way."

"But--"

"My father's dying. Can't you see that I have more important things to worry about than you and our sickness?" Shu Zhijing asked, pulling out of Qiaodan's desperate grip. He pulled his door open just enough for Qiaodan to creep out like a bandit in the night. "Now leave."

"Please?" Qiaodan asked, approaching Shu Zhijing and brushing the back of his knuckles against Shu Zhijing's smooth but sharp cheekbone. "Please, just… Fine. I'll come back when Zhangmen's better then."

"He's not going to get any better," Shu Zhijing said, his voice cracking. Instead of leaving, Qiaodan reached behind Shu Zhijing and pulled the doors shut again before he cupped his lover's face and pressed their foreheads together. Shu Zhijing's pressed his palms flat against his friend's chest, prepared to push him away, but he couldn't deny such comfort. Qiaodan brushed a tear off Shu Zhijing's cheek with his thumb. "He's going to die. I know it. It's only a matter of when."

"I'm so sorry," Qiaodan said, and Shu Zhijing surged forward to wrap his arms around Qiaodan and hide his face against his shoulder. Qiaodan stroked the long black-brown hair that flowed down Shu Zhijing's back, minding the intricate braids as he did so. He walked them back to his lover's bed and sat down.

"Someone knows," Shu Zhijing said, pulling away from Qiaodan. His face was no longer smooth and white, like a statue, but it was red and puffy with his despair. "They know, and I don't want you to get hurt. He told me what they'd do to me, but really, it's what they'd do to you that worries me… He said--"

"Jing-di?" Shu Ganmao asked from outside the door. Qiaodan quickly and silently stood to hide in the furthest and darkest corner of the room. Shu Zhijing stood up and straightened his robes before he wiped his tears and opened the doors to his older brother. He nodded his head. "Oh, Jing-di… why are you crying?"

"Fuqin…" Shu Zhijing said, not a complete lie. Shu Ganmao nodded his head and pulled Shu Zhijing to him to hug him, only Shu Zhijing tensed and cringed as he was pulled towards his brother.

"Get rid of that damned cut sleeve before I kill him myself," Shu Ganmao whispered to Shu Zhijing before he pulled back only to have a soft, caring smile on his deceitful face. It would have fooled anyone unless they knew the truth. "So, I have a task for you, didi. It's extremely important. I'll meet you in my chambers as soon as you can see me."

"I'll be there, da-ge," Shu Zhijing said with a nod before Shu Ganmao left. Shu Zhijing closed the doors and went to get Qiaodan from the corner of the room. He held his hands. "You need to leave, and you can't come back. Do you understand me?"

"But--"

"No!" Shu Zhijing for the first time since he was a child raised his voice. He scowled at the sound from his throat and bowed his head. "Please, it's better for us both if you stay away. Please, don't come back. Ever."

"Can I at least get one last kiss?" Qiaodan asked. Shu Zhijing hesitated. Oh how he wanted, but the parting would be even worse if they did. Qiaodan inched closer like he was preparing, and just as he moved close enough, Shu Zhijing turned his head away with a hiss. Qiaodan's lips skimmed over his cheek instead.

"It's better if we don't. Da-ge's waiting for me, and he gets angry when I take too long," Shu Zhijing said. Qiaodan nodded and headed to the doors again.

"Just know, Shu Zhijing, that I love you. I thought we talked about that," Qiaondan smiled sadly. "In fact, if it ever came to it, I'd die for you. You mean… everything to me."

A moment of tense silence passed, and Shu Zhijing's chin quivered but he just shook his head. He refused to shed any more tears.

"Get out," Shu Zhijing said. Qiaodan nodded and hastily retreated from the room, leaving Shu Zhijing to close the doors and try to prepare himself better for a meeting with his brother. He had to hurry, but he managed to make his face cooler by pressing cold towels to his face before he headed to see his brother.