YAKUZA: The Beginning of Deaths

I'm happy to see a novel that isn't about an overpowered mc, and I also am a fan of Japanese culture, and this novel is honestly just really good

This was a lot more gruesome than I expected. Granted, that's not why I'm giving this five-stars. Truly look at the writer's craft. He takes time to describe each scene without breaking people's characters. No overpowered individuals and an interesting tale about Eastern culture.

Really well written oml in love with this honestly i usually am not attracted towards fantasy and Japanese kind of novels but this one is just perfection!

A beginning that will shatter your heart and a world dominated by the mafia in Japanese culture. Plenty of exciting action and some really beautiful world building.

(Part of a Review Swap) About Style: Foreword: Of course, all these things are simply observations. Style is one thing that is difficult to change in the middle of any novel, so just think of these as a reader's perspective rather than suggestions. - I like how you used dashes to show the difference between a phone call and normal speaking, but I was kind of confused when the main character also spoke in the same style while talking to the Captain in person. It looks like this is used regularly throughout and I don't really understand its purpose. Personally, I just write in a strictly traditional manner, utilizing only quotation marks and ending with "said the character" or variation. (*TLDR; quotes are a bit confusing with dashes instead of quotation marks. Not sure what those signify*) - I also noticed that the novel was written in a script-like format, the date and place present without being a sentence and utilizing tumblresque signification of action (such as when the wife *Smiles*). I personally never read a book in a similar format, but there's nothing wrong with it. I believe that readers of more traditional books (such as myself) might be a bit repelled by the casualness. (*TLDR; The casualness of the writing may be unsavoury for some. Of course, that's a personal preference*) About Plot: Alright, I've read a little bit more of your book. Up to Chapter 3 to be more specific. I think I'll skip to the final chapters to see if I'm giving unuseful advice, but here's what I've thought about it: Firstly, the pro: I think the fight scenes are well choreographed and interesting. There's always a lot of action happening and it really feels like a yakuza action movie. I still feel like the wording could be edited further (and there were a noticeable amount of grammar mistakes), but the content is definitely there. Solid action. I also liked the protagonist, Kazuki Oni Yamato. Secondly, some feedback: I thought the plot was pretty generic, though maybe the plot isn't the main focus. I mean, you get what you look for and it definitely was a book about the yakuza, all the cliches included. So far, I would personally give around 4/10. It definitely improves as it goes on, but I don't think it's for me. But hey, it seems that a lot of people are enjoying your book (56K views are a lot!) and that's all that matters. Final Evaluation: After reading the final chapter (which was a bit shorter which is why I was able to write the review so quickly,) my rating for the book just went up to 6/10. Wow, the improvements are stellar, from grammatical correctness to the dialogue, everything's improved by quite a lot! Now, there are some criticisms and so, these are my final thoughts. Grammar: There are still some minor grammatical inconsistencies like sometimes the suffix 'san' being capitalized (Suzume San) and sometimes being connected to the names (Yamato-san) as well as 'Ojosan' sometimes being capitalized and sometimes not. Cultural Aspects: Now, I need to clarify that I am not Japanese and may you are. I'm just taking a stance from the perspective of the readers. From my limited knowledge, the book can't help but seem a bit like a non-Japanese person who wrote a book about Japan. Again, no offence. From the names (Yamato, Suzume, Jin) to the locations mentioned (Shibuya, Tokyo) as well as the usage of the honorifics (saying -chan to someone that doesn't know you), it can feel a bit inauthentic. Not saying you need to change anything, just something you might want to look out for. Format: There's definitely a shift in format from the first few and the last few chapters, mostly noticeable in the quotes and signification of location and time. Now, it's definitely for the better, but if possible, it'd be great if you could edit the previous chapters to be more in line with the current standards (unless webnovel.com doesn't allow that). Conclusion: I think this is a great start to your portfolio as a writer and there is a great deal of audience engagement, meaning that there is a market for these types of stories, but I believe it could be further improved, especially in grammar. Overall, a pretty solid read. Personally 6/10, but that's just my personal preference and this book is probably not for me. I see a lot of 5 stars and four stars reviews, so you're doing great!

It's thrilling, the way the action begins almost immediately the reading begins. I totally recommend it for lovers of non-fantasy martial arts.

This book is really good, the characters and the writing style all fit in and keep it up

Great storyline and characters. I love the take that the author used in potraying Japanese culture. It's very vivid and really captivating. Looking forward for more updates from the author.

This is my first yakuza Japanese story and honestly I just loved it. Got hooked by the first chapter and that reverse just made me want to continue. Loving the work so much and looking forward to more deaths and hoping for the revenge to be taken well. Keep up the good work and well done,

Good job, very entertaining, grrat story development and really likes how the writer explained the detaill in the novel. Just give a try and you wont regret it

The novel exudes the atmosphere of an action-packed detective story, firmly rooted in 1989 Japan. Death is a recurring theme throughout the narrative. If you have a penchant for this genre, it's definitely worth a read.

This book thrusts me into the gritty underbelly of 1989 Japan, where a gunshot shatters the tranquility of Shibuya. In this suspenseful tale, the author deftly weaves a web of mystery and intrigue, drawing the reader into a world of darkness illuminated by secrets. The story masterfully unfolds, exposing the hidden layers of a crime-ridden society. With vivid descriptions and an unrelenting pace, it explores the consequences of choices made in the shadows. This gripping novel delivers a potent blend of suspense and atmosphere, making it a must-read for fans of crime thrillers with a Japanese twist.

Really liked the world building and the beginning of the novel hope for more updates 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

Oooooo.... i love this! It's like a captivating Yakuza-like story. I feel that this novel is something to look out for. The dialogues and details are executed to perfection in my view. Added to my library to follow the story closely!