4

When I woke up, Sebastian was already gone. Duh. I woke up and got out of bed to get ready for the day. After I got ready, I went down and found Blair on the couch kissing a guy. I cleared my throat to grab their attention, my sister jumped and pulled away turning to find me leaning on the living room door.

"Morning!" I said enthusiastically.

"Sorryyy."

"It's fine. Hi Gabriel." Gabriel is the actor that's Blair's been cozying up to.

"Hi Julianna."

"I'll take him away, we'll talk later?" We always do nowaday. I nodded and watched her and Gabriel going up the stairs.

I went into the kitchen and starting making myself something to eat. Sometimes, when I'm in the kitchen, I remember how Mason always said that he wanted to be a chef. How jealous he got when he saw Sebastian trying to flirt with me, he'd go crazy if he knew I was married to him now. I never told him about Sebastian in the letter, I told him that I had a relationship. I kept the details brief, I'd rather hide that fact away.

When I'd made my food, I went into the living room to eat and watch whatever show was on.

"I'm back!" My sister exclaimed as she sat next to me.

"Where's Gabriel?" I asked.

"Asleep in my room."

"Sebastian wants a baby." I blurted out.

"WHAT!? What did you say?"

"Maybe one day, that really does mean never." Blair looked at me with a 'are you serious' expression on her face.

"Gosh at this point why don't you just go visit him." I quickly turned my attention to her.

"Who?"

"You know who." She said taking some of my food. "Mason. He's not that far away is he? I think you have to go there, get him to reject you so that you can move the fuck on. It's sad, Sebastian loves you. You love Mason, so go and get your feelings hurt so that you can stop thinking about him damn it."

"I don't love Mason that's absurd also who's to say that I even want kids with anyone?"

"I bet my left arm that if Mason wanted kids you'd immediately get onto the task and do whatever you could to get that baby. Even I'm over Kai, fricking Kai."

"I so wouldn't. Trust me, I just don't want kids."

"I'm your sister Liana, don't lie to me. Come on, I've been with you your whole damn life. You're always alone and you legit volunteered to take care of people. You'd be a good mom."

"Yeah but like maybe one day. I don't know why he's rushing me."

"What did he say to ma- Liana what the fuck is that?" She stared and pointed down at my collarbone, shit.

"Nothing, go back to your question." I pulled my shirt back up and smiled hoping she'd drop the subject. I kinda got a tattoo which says, 'his angel' a few years ago. Before I married Sebastian, I had to make up some excuse as to what it meant and he didn't really care. The real truth is that it represented Mason. He always called me Angel and I didn't want to completely forget about everything, however I never told Blair.

"'His angel' jeez. I'm not even gonna act surprised, good luck liana." She let out a laugh at her comment. "Honestly though, go see him. Get your clearance so that you can actually move on."

"I'm willing to try anything at this point..."

. . . . .

I was contemplating the idea as I sat inside my car. I was going to see Mason. I'd played on the idea a lot of times before but I never really thought I could pull through. There were a lot of reasons why I didn't think I could pull through with it. One I was married. Two he's far away. Three he doesn't want anything to do with me. Four Sebastian would find out and it'd destroy our whole marriage. Five I might just end up falling harder than I've already fell. Or lastly I could just actually end up benefiting from the whole experience.

I looked back over at my house. Memories of my relationship with Sebastian flowed and played around in my mind. I was once actually happy with him. The beginning stages were great, he was so great...but then he got his dream job and we rarely saw each other. I became a bored housewife, I didn't mind being a housewife because after all I'd get some time to me but it would've have been better if he was there more. With my sister and family all far away, I started fantasising about Mason. What my life would've been like if he'd chosen to be a better person. I hoped and hoped that one day I'd wake up, and it'd all be one big dream, one big lie. Sadly it wasn't. Every day, nothing changed. I can't keep staying here sulking over him though. I think it's time...time to face the music.

❥❥❥❥❥❥