Busted and Bruised and Bare (and Bipolar)

"That shouldn't be legal," I said.

Paige, the younger blonde sister, gave Joey her biggest glare yet. "I agree, it's the stupidest thing I've ever seen a person do. For one, you're killing your brain cells. Two, you look ridiculous. Three…"

Ten points later, Joey reached his palms for the sky. "Ookay, Ookay, I get it. No more helium voice."

Paige's eyes hardened. He still sounded like a chipmunk.

"Well, there's nothing I can do about it now," he squeaked. "Next time, tackle me or something."

Leah thwacked him. "Don't tempt me."

Valerie tossed her hair into Joey's face. I imagined he just saw this big, pink blob, an explosion of cotton candy.

"OH, THE PHOTO BOOTH," she squealed. "We should go."

Brooke glanced at her friend, then at her sister, then at me. (Why? Good question.) "Valerie," she said. "My hair's a mess. And we're a little short on cash because you made us go on every ride in existence."

Valerie stuck her hand in her pocket and pulled out a stash of twenties. A hairbrush appeared in the other. Maybe she's a bubblegum fairy.

Watching that brush tear through Brooke's hair, I wondered if it was possible to go into self-inflicted female-pattern baldness.

They jumbled into the photo booth.

I froze at the black curtain as my pulse became a ticking bomb. Tight space? Flashing cameras? These demon seniors may have shoved me onto a roller coaster, but there's no way they were going to—

Someone pulled me in.

My Canadian teachers say to show, don't tell. It takes away from reader experience. But let me tell you this: I hate tight spaces. Eight sweaty teenage bodies crammed into a tiny black box? I was on the Titanic, and the reality of my nonlife flooded back to me.

There were a few flashes, then everyone filed out.

Centipedes crawled through my stomach. I grabbed against the wall, trying to make it bigger.

"Hey, you okay?" Julia sounded foreign to me. "Ben?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Ben." Her hand stopped me. "I thought everything was going great. What happened?"

For a moment, I saw only emeralds. I was going to explain the claustrophobia to her, but something stopped me. She hadn't spoken a normal phrase to me since we got here. Why act like a human now? I rubbed my forehead. Something else was wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on it. The walls weren't closing in anymore. They were more like a compass pointing to the problem.

I just refused to look at the arrow.

"Yeah," I said. "I think…that was just a little much."

"Ha, between standing in line, getting whipped around all day…Oh, shoot, we didn't make you claustrophobic in here, did we?"

How the huckleberry does she do that?

I nodded and rubbed the crud out of my eyes.

"Shoot, I'm sorry. We…we weren't thinking. Are you…going to be okay?"

There was something off about her. Her voice, her tone, it wasn't the one I'd grown so used to hearing in her car, during countless rides to and from therapy. She didn't have that same, bold approach she'd given a few months ago at that fountain. She paused in all the awkward places, something I do when my mind can't grab the right thing to say.

Maybe…was that going on with her? Why? This girl was supposed to be a rock, unbreakable. Julia White was tough.

But the girl in front of me…

I decided to follow Doctor White's advice and get my answers in the most direct way possible.

"I'm fine," I said. "I'm not sure you are."

Julia dropped her hands. "What are you talking about?"

"You…just seem off."

Why was this so hard?

Her eyes dropped and her shoulders slumped, but her feet remained firm on the ground. "Ben, I've been upside down fifteen times. Of course, I'm off."

"That's not it."

Whoa, was I growing a spine?

Nah.

She placed her palms on her hips. "What are you talking about?"

I sighed, "You're…pausing in all the wrong places. Your pulse was faster than mine in the van, I feel like I'm standing next to some sort of sweaty, helpless puppy, and you won't look at me in the eyes. You always look at me in the eyes. You're one of the only people who ever does."

Did I say that? Maybe I'm remembering wrong.

Her eyes glistened, but her eyebrows crinkled. I recognized that face. She hadn't thought about her behavior. Or maybe she had. You've already studied my limited ability to read emotions.

I sat down and buried my face between my fingers. My monotone voice cracked. "If you don't want me hanging around, just tell me."

"What? No!"

"Oh."

She sat down and pulled my hands away. "Look, I guess I've been a little off today. I was a little nervous—at first. I didn't know how you'd…but, honestly, I swear, if I've been off…" She paused for a really long time. "You trust me, right?"

I stared deep into her eyes, attempting to see past them.

"Ben?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Then believe me when I tell you that this has nothing to do with you."

I swallowed. "Okay."

Light seeped through the curtain.

"Guys?" Alexander. Julia was red again. "You should probably come see this."

We exchanged a glance. Lines etched over the rings in her eyes. Panic? Julia guided me out. My chest plummeted when the flash of cameras outdid a thunderstorm. Insane, deprived voices. Everywhere.

"BEN BEN BEN BEN"

"WHO'S THE GIRL?"

"IS THIS A NEW THERAPY TECHNIQUE?"

"DO YOUR PARENTS KNOW WHERE YOU ARE?"

"HAVE YOU RUN AWAY?"

"DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY TO THOSE WHO CLAIM YOU'RE NOTHING MORE THAN A SPOILED BRAT?"

Microphones. There were so many microphones.

I circled the crowd, but they were always the same. Didn't the paparazzi have anything better to do than torture me? On the other hand, if they had been out looking for me…Something told me that the plan to get away with lying to my parents about this had backfired. They must've sent a search party. And someone leaked my location the news.

The domino effect.

A tornado swirled in my head. The crowds faded, but ten people became thousands. I tried to find Julia, any familiar face, but there was nothing.

Something togged my hand. My legs were numb. The world shifted. I was moving—we were escaping. The faces of the crowd shrunk. Blurry eyes became little cumulous clouds, no shape or color.

The ground got closer.

I saw the sky, then the grass, then nothing.

✎✎✎

A boulder thumped my shoulder. The faces around me…I counted seven.

We were back in the van.

Joey: "So, yeah, there was the media-crazed-paparazzi-news-reporter people who found you, but then you passed out. We tried to drag you to the van. We probably looked like a band of kidnappers. Should have tried to wake you up right away, but those media people are relentless. We had to jump a tent."

"No, we didn't, Joey." Leah's dark eyes sharpened. "Quit scaring the poor kid."

Something tells me this could be foreshadowing to some other disastrous event in my life. Every book I've read has done that. Why should my non-life be any different?

"Ben, are you okay?"

This was the tenth time Julia had asked me that. The good news: she was back to normal. That whole "puppy-dog" vibe had disintegrated. Not for good, but it was nice to have her back, even for a little while. It was like a small part of myself had returned.

"I told you. I'm fine."

Paige thought my life was her business. "No, you're not. We need to get you home. Who's driving right now? 'Cause he needs to step on it."

I wiped the sweat from my brow. "I don't know if my parents are home."

"Why don't you give them a call?" Alexander said. Julia nodded. How dare she nod at his reasonable suggestion. My blood attempted to break through my veins. "They're probably worried."

Brooke finger-combed the curled strands of her hair. "Yeah, let them know you made it back alright." She held up her phone. "Especially if they've read anything on social media."

Heat rose to my face. Julia studied me.

She transformed. Her eyebrows creased together, her eyes hardened, and her forehead pressed. She grabbed my shoulders. I felt whiplash. Please. No. Julia, forget your mind-reading superpowers. Just shut up, leave it alone, and let me drive the RV off a bridge.

I tried to shove her off. "What are you doing?"

"You didn't tell your parents you were coming. Did you?"

Everyone turned to me. I've never seen so many open mouths.

I didn't answer.

"Shoot! That's why the media…if there had been…" Julia must've thought I had responded. She shook me hard enough to start an avalanche. "Ben! Why wouldn't you tell them?"

"I don't know," I lied.

"Could you please think about someone besides yourself for once?" She paced the huge vehicle. "Do you have any idea how much trouble you probably got me into, all of us? Your parents…they're going to kill me! My dad will blame me, Valerie will lose the rights to the van, and you're never leaving the house again."

Maybe my response wasn't the best idea, but alas...

"It's an RV, not a van."

She flailed her arms against my chest. "Ben if it was morally right to swear oh the names I would call you how could you do this to me I'm going to—"

Pinkie and Alexander dragged her off.

Valerie firmed her grip. "Julia, it wasn't right for Ben to lie for literally no reason, but you need to calm down."

"I don't need to calm down!"

Alexander raised an eyebrow. "You'll have plenty of time to lecture everyone later. Just go…lock yourself in the bathroom or something."

"And count to, like, two-hundred. Not ten," Joey jeered.

Julia circled the group. I've seen a lot of nature videos. She looked like one of those tigers ready to pounce on a cute little woodland creature and eat it stone cold. When she looked at me, it became a lion eying up a mouse. She slammed the bathroom door so it cracked on the hinge.

No one spoke. We sat there. Alexander kept glancing at the doorway like a guard on look-out duty. There was a whispering, a phone ring, then muffled yelling. Like those conversations Kyle and Dad used to have. Or Kyle and Rex Peterson. Or any member of my family who has ever communicated.

When I recognized our surroundings, the door creaked open.

Julia tiptoed toward me. I wasn't sure what the better call was: jump out the window or use Alexander as a shield.

"Look, I'm sorry," she said. "If you want, I told my dad everything that's going on. He said you could come to our place and your parents will meet us there."

I swallowed.

"Are you sorry?" she said.

"Uh-huh."

She sat beside me and smiled. "Good."

Maybe Julia's bipolar.

The RV stopped fifteen minutes later. I know that because I kept my eyes on my watch like it was a doomsday device. My stomach felt like someone had dropped a sixteen-pound bowling ball in it. My knees buckled.

Julia must have had some sort of epiphany in that bathroom. She clenched my hand. The RV's surroundings drifted by in slow motion, down to each sticky candy wrapper. I don't remember saying goodbye to anyone. We were just gone.

"Are you okay?" I asked her. I wanted to know.

Julia will never fail to shock me. One of these days I am going to be electrocuted. "I think I know why you didn't tell your parents where we were going. I guess, when everyone's always underestimating you, defiance is all you have left. And trying to fit everyone's expectations can seem overrated."

I swallowed. "I'm sorry."

That took about half a brick off my heart, but it was a start.

"You shouldn't have to feel like you've got to fix yourself for everyone else. I… really hope that I never made you feel that way. You should only change something if you want to, if you make the decision yourself."

She was scaring me.

Once again, I asked a question because I wanted to know the answer.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm not saying that you're not at fault." She bit her lip. "But I'm not going to let your parents treat you like that. And I'm not going to do it to you. Ever again."

I crossed my arms as a barrier to protect myself. Just in case she exploded. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You'll see." A warm smile crept across her face. "And Ben?"

"Yeah?"

"You've done some stupid things today."

"I know."

"But I'm sorry I snapped on you."

"It's okay."

She shook her head. "It's not. I swear I'll make up for it."

Seriously, the girl is bipolar. Half the time she hates me, like she wants to run me over with her car. But then… Look, I've never lent her money, did her a favor, or offered any plus-side for my friendship. I'm a mess and everyone knows it. They stuck me on fifty different spectrums and called me a disgrace to every category. Even her friends acted like my babysitters. The Biggest Group of Losers in History? I was their disposable member.

Yet, Julia acts as if she owes me something.

Our eyes met. We opened the door to Julia's home.