A Truly Happy Life - 1

"Are you sure you two don't need to stay here? I'll always have extra space for you two," Kazane tried to convince Fanzer and Kotone to stay at her home, but Fanzer shook his head at the offer.

"You're already watching over Jumin, Asami, and Mary for the next few days, so this'll be best for everyone. Don't worry, we'll probably be back to visit soon," Fanzer gave Kazane a soft smile as she slowly nodded.

"Besides, I think... I think Kotone needs some mental rest as well. I-I'm not saying that I'm better at allowing her to relax but...." Fanzer was stopped by Kazane with a hug.

There wasn't any malintent, hidden agendas, or secondary motivations. It was just a soft hug as a genuine thank you to Fanzer.

"My daughter is happy because of you, please don't forget that. Oh and, come back soon, it gets lonely being here all on my own," Kazane asked, and Fanzer nodded towards her.

"Yeah," Fanzer nodded, breaking the hug and lightly looking back to a dazed Kotone. She was just standing there, silently looking at Fanzer.

Her tears had long since dried up, but her nose was still lightly red from crying.

"Yeah," Fanzer repeated himself, hoping that despite using the same word twice, Kazane would understand how he felt behind the word.

-----

"We're home, Kotone," Fanzer led his silent girlfriend to his room, sitting on his bed and gesturing for her to sit next to him.

For several minutes, they just sat there, hands conjoined with only the whizzing sounds of Fanzer's fan and their soft breathing to fill the silence. It was a peaceful silence, and there was about 5 minutes of no conversation until Kotone quietly spoke up.

"Earlier in our relationship, you said what you feared, but I didn't. You poured out your heart and soul to me and all I could do was cry. I cried because I was happy, but because I was so scared as well," Kotone admitted, gripping Fanzer's hand a little tighter.

"Before I met you, I had no real drive. I don't have a profession that I care about like you do, I never really had to worry about making money because I had it all, and truly, living my life felt like a chore more than anything else," Kotone's voice hitched, but she didn't stop speaking.

"But then you appeared, and it felt like color came to everything I had ever known. Everything became about you. I wanted to make sure you were okay, and make sure you never had to worry, and just generally make you happy," Kotone laid her other hand atop of Fanzer's hand, even though they were already holding hands.

Fanzer felt like saying something but stayed silent to allow Kotone to say as she wished.

"That's why I've had a horrible fear I never wanted to admit. I'm scared of losing you. This isn't just a fear of us not being together―even though I am really afraid of that―but of me losing everything you stand for. You're... my light," Kotone softly smiled at Fanzer but didn't stop clenching his hand.

"I...." Fanzer tried to say something, but his voice was caught in his throat.

Kotone waited for a moment to let Fanzer speak, but he just shook his head and allowed for her to continue.

"I don't want to tie you up and stop you from living your life, because your drive is what makes you so admirable. You want to keep using forward, and I love that about you. I'm just so scared of losing you. I think... I think that's why I hate Emma so much," Kotone admitted, her hands lightly shaking in Fanzer's grasp.

He only held her hands tighter in response, softly rubbing his thumb over her hand in order to comfort her.

"Of course, she forced herself on you and made you uncomfortable, but more than that, I don't think we were too different. I think she feared losing everything as well. I was gonna kill her back there," Kotone bit her lip and took a deep breath to calm herself down.

"You know, I've killed a person before. I killed them... I killed him because he tricked me into thinking he cared for me. At that point, I just shut everyone out to protect myself," Kotone lightly began crying, and Fanzer pulled her into a hug.

It took her a moment to recompose herself, but when she did, Fanzer let go of her and she continued talking.

"I was gonna kill Emma, just because I saw so much of myself in her. But what really scared me was... if I killed her, who could say I wouldn't kill you?" At this point, Kotone entirely broke down into a sobbing fit.

Fanzer held onto her as if to remind her that he'd never let her go. Despite not recomposing herself yet, Kotone pulled away from Fanzer, but stayed in his arms' length.

"I was so scared. But you were still there, waiting for me. And I realized I don't want to ever risk losing you. So maybe this is stupid and irresponsible, but I don't care," Kotone looked at Fanzer with a serious expression in her eyes.

"I know I have a lot of growing to do before I'll ever be the best I can be, but I want to be by your side when I grow. I want to be right beside you when you publish your book, or when you want to celebrate. I want to be with you. Forever," Kotone began fidgeting as she saw Fanzer's eyes widen.

"So, I know it's more common for men to ask but... one day, possibly far, far in the future," Kotone took a deep breath and tightly clenched Fanzer's hand, so much that it actually began hurting. She was trying to work up a lot of courage for a question that would positively change most her life.

"Will you marry me?" Kotone asked, a shocked expression growing on her face as Fanzer began laughing.

"Wh-What?" Kotone pushed out, a wave of embarrassment washing over her. Her embarrassment quickly subsided as Fanzer pulled her into a kiss.

"I can't say I expected that, but of course I'll marry you. While we can't right now, in a few years we'll be connected at the hip. Even though... it feels like we're pretty connected as is," Fanzer lightly grabbed the sides of Kotone's face and made sure she was looking him in his eyes.

"I love you. All of you," He told her, hoping once more that despite the simple words his feelings would be clear to the love of his life.

"I love you too. I really do," Kotone replied, a genuine smile on her face.