I guess it's true what they say about your life flashing before your eyes when you're about to die. Or not really. Because I only saw one thing: Noah.
I didn't need to think, that was just how it was—Noah is my life. The images that flashed before my eyes weren't the best moments of my life; they were the best moments of our life, and not the life we had shared up to then, no. I didn't see those moments, with their ups and downs, or the breakup, or the cheating. I saw something else: I saw my life with her to come.
I saw us walking on the beach, celebrating our son's birthday; I saw her, beautiful and radiant, waiting for me in bed every night to cover me with kisses and caresses. I saw her getting pregnant again, but this time we were ready—there were no surprises, no fears, no insecurities. I saw her with me in the kitchen, arguing but then stopping so we could kiss each other all over, right there, leaning against the countertop. I saw her crying, laughing, suffering, growing. I saw her life before my eyes, her life with me…and I loved it.
Then I asked myself, Why am I seeing this? Why do I feel like I'm being permitted to see something I'll never have? I felt a hole in my chest, an emptiness consuming me…
No.
No fucking way.
It wasn't my time. Not yet.
(Above mentioned words are all from the book of Culpa Nuestra, Spanish book written by Mercedes Ronn, I just traslated this in English if you want to communicate with me ...my Instagram account @_._priyeah_._)
Be ready for chapter 48 guys...