Chapter Eighteen

Luke wasn't sure what to say to her or how to say it, so he turned the radio on as he drove. She seemed content either way.

'It's the end of the night, I find myself kissing you goodbye. Trying like hell to pull this truck out of your driveway.'

The start of a new song made him think back to the night of the office party, when he'd struggled actually leaving her place.

"I hope you had a good stay," he started slowly, seeing her look up at him with a genuine smile.

"Definitely," Becca nodded, hoping he wouldn't go back to being quiet.

'Ooh, can't stop thinking about you. I know I'm gonna end up. Back standing on your front porch. Back knocking on your front door. Back into those save me arms, only you could make me feel like that. Back getting all twisted up, back with it on the tip of my tongue.'

She too had to think back to last weekend as she listened to the lyrics. He'd looked so cute, even if he was a little sad, when he'd knocked on her door, asking if he could stay with her after all.

'There ain't no way to know what you're gonna say when I let it go. But my heart's finally talked my head into letting me, say what's been running 'round my mind. Each and every time, I get my arms around you. You got a way of getting me.'

Luke aimed a quick smile at her, not sure what to say next. He hadn't realized it at the time, but when he was thanking her for being there for him, he'd been about to say that he thought he was falling for her. He wished he'd realized or known that a little sooner, as the past few days could have been so much more productive or better in terms of their 'relationship'.

'Back into those save me arms, only you could make me feel like that. Back getting all twisted up, back with it on the tip of my tongue. About to say something, say something, something I can't take back. Oh, something I can't take back.'

He remembered leaning in to kiss her when he thought he'd heard something, excusing his actions by saying he thought he'd heard Derek so she couldn't mind. At the time he'd thought she'd been about to lecture him, even when he couldn't read her expression after he'd mentioned her ex. It only occurred to him now that the look on her face had been closer to disappointment than anger, which would explain why she'd been in a mood with him afterwards. Luke glanced at her again; she looked at ease as she hummed along to the melody. He hoped he hadn't imagined that look on her face at the time. But it was getting time to find out.

'Only you could make me feel like that. Back getting all twisted up, back with it on the tip of my tongue. About to say something, say something, something I can't take back. Something I can't take back. Right here in your save me arms, about to say something I can't take back. Ooh, can't stop thinking about you.'

"Bexx," he started, only to realize they'd already made it to the airport's carpark already as he'd driven on autopilot. "We're here," he said lamely, as she could see that for herself. He parked up, not looking at her as he berated himself for wasting the car journey the way he had.

"You'll come to the check-in with me?" Becca asked in a way that left him feeling like she wasn't giving him a choice, and that thought made him happy.

"Of course," he nodded, making her smile.

Luke felt nervous the entire time it took them to get indoors and wait in line for the check-in. He was fast running out of time, and he still had no idea how to start telling her. Becca could tell he was nervous about something, and she wondered if it was what she thought it was.

After check-in, he led the way towards security, feeling his stomach drop as his feet became lead. "Bexx," he started again, stopping when he saw they were close to security and knowing it was now or never. His backpack felt like it contained bricks, weighing him down with the failure of not having said anything when he'd had the opportunity to ask for another ticket to join her flight.

"Yeah…?" she said encouragingly, as her green eyes focused on him and her heart jumped into her throat.

"I… I have to tell you something," Luke said, his voice breaking nervously as he stuffed his hands into his jeans' pockets.

"Okay," she nodded with a small smile.

"I… Bexx, you… I had the best…" He gave a nervous laugh as he tried to pull himself together. "I…" he said as his blue eyes met hers.

"Bexx! I'm so glad I'm not too late," they heard a voice call out and they both started looking around to find out what was going on. Luke's heart dropped to his shoes when he saw her ex running athletically towards them.

"Derek? What are you doing here?" Becca asked with a less than welcoming tone, which her ex chose to ignore as her pretend boyfriend took a step back from her.

"I have to talk to you, I'm so sorry about everything," he said, giving her his most charming smile, the one that had worked wonders during the two years they'd been together. He reached for her hand.

"Now?!" she asked exasperated, as she moved her hand out of his reach. This was so typical; when she'd wanted him to have talked to her instead of cheating, he'd chosen not to, and now she wanted Luke to talk and he seemed too nervous or afraid to.

"Yeah, your mom said you'd be on this flight," Derek said, as if that explained anything.

"So?" Becca demanded, getting more annoyed with the situation. Considering that, as far as her ex knew, Luke was her boyfriend, he was not telling him to get lost like he should be. "I'm saying goodbye to my boyfriend," she spelled it out a bit more now, giving him a nudge to do something.

"Oh," Derek realized his colleague was there too. "Sorry, silly me. I found your notes, about your agreement," he said, making them both freeze. "I know the past four weeks were a sham, so you can drop the pretense," he grinned as his words sank in and Luke involuntarily took a step back.

"Well actually…" Becca said as she reached out for his hand, surprised when he took another step back away from her. "Luke?"

"I…" he stammered again, but this time more horrified than nervous. "Have a safe flight, and I'll see you when you get back, if you want," Luke said to her now, seeing his colleague smile victoriously. He gave her a kiss goodbye on the cheek and started walking away.

"Luke!" Becca called confused, hoping he'd stop and come back, but he kept walking.

"Forget about him honey," Derek schmoozed her as he turned her back towards him. "I'm so sorry for before, I promise it will be different now," he assured her, pulling her in for a hug. She barely listened to him as her eyes still sought out Luke in the crowd, his back to her as he made his way back to the car. "Your mother's going to be so happy I got here on time," he continued talking, knowing she'd take him back.

"What?"

"Your mom, she was so happy to hear from me, that we'd be getting back together."

"She doesn't know you cheated on me, that's why, and my mother doesn't get a say in my life," Becca said as she pulled out of his arms now. She continued towards security, not knowing what to do now. She'd realized last night and this morning that she'd wanted her relationship with Luke to be real and, seeing how he'd been this morning, she thought he'd wanted the same. His reaction now made no sense.

"Water under the bridge, me and Gina are so over," Derek rambled, every other word or so filtering through to her. It was only a slight stretch from the truth; Gina didn't even know he was here. He hadn't told her anything about coming to win Becca back; he wanted to keep his options open with minimal groveling. "I'm so glad we're back together for the holidays," he said, reaching to take hold of her hand, surprised when she held it out of his reach again.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, and she saw he looked a little affronted that she hadn't been hanging on his every word.

"You and me, back together. Bexx, I love you and I should never have done what I did," he told her, reaching up to go through her hair and leaning in to kiss her; he'd missed kissing her. He was surprised when she held him off just before he could.

"Derek…" she started with a sigh.

"No, you don't need to say anything. I know you must have been desperate to make me realize what a fool I was to go through all of that with him and it's okay, I get it," he forgave her, leaning in again.

"Derek," she said a little firmer now.

"Becca, I love you, it's always been you," Derek talked over her.

"Yeah, so that's why you cheated on me!" she finally managed to get him to listen. "Look…"

"Bexx, I know…" he tried to start again.

"Will you please stop talking?!" Becca said with a cry. It was hard enough to think without him talking rubbish, and he was getting on her nerves. The things he was saying made it clearer than ever to her that he didn't really know her at all.

"But…" he tried, cutting off when he saw her look.

"The aim of me and Luke pretending was never to get you back," she started.

"Bexx, come on, I've missed you, and I know you missed me," Derek said confidently, surprised to see her shake her head. "If this is about Gina, that was a mis…" he started, though the only mistake he'd made in his opinion was to get caught.

"Of course, it is. Even if I wanted to, I could never trust you again. Derek, you cheated on me with your secretary," Becca said, making him glance around nervously when he noticed people had started glancing over at them. "And besides, I…" she took a deep breath, knowing more than ever that it was true, "I don't love you anymore."