Chapter 24

When they got to the hospital, Santana had to tell the doctors three times that they didn't know the girl at all, the third time being translated by Ernest, before they took her in. She had lost consciousness halfway through the journey, and Santana's stress, or fear, or whatever it was, was causing her to slip into Spanish more frequently, so that even if the doctors could understand English, she was not doing a good job of helping them. Finally though, they took her in for an emergency surgery.

"He says that they will do what they can, but first they must remove the baby, and then try save her after." Ernest told them, looking less annoyed than before.

"Does he think she'll make it?" Brittany asked. Tears had been falling from her eyes for over twenty minutes. Santana caught Ernest's eyes and shook her head slightly. He looked back at Brittany.

"I don't know Mrs."

Brittany leaned heavily against Santana, crying with renewed vigour.

"We should go back to the hotel. I'll call for a car." James said.

"No" Santana said. "We have to see if she makes it at least. She doesn't have anyone."

On the way to the hospital, Santana had gotten Ernest to talk to the girl to try and get her to stay awake. They had found out that her parents were dead, and the boy who had gotten her pregnant had been killed a few months earlier by some thugs in the area. She had no other relatives, and her friends' parents had refused to take her in, saying unmarried pregnant women only brought trouble. When Brittany had asked, through Ernest, why she had been stabbed, she said that it was because some men in their town had found out that she was to have twins, and they believed this to be some kind of bad omen. This was when Brittany had started crying.

"You cannot stay here. It is late and you have early morning tomorrow Mrs Lopez-Pierce. Please come with us"

"No" Brittany said again. "And it's about time you stop giving us orders. There's a reason we found that girl, and we can't just leave now, not knowing if she'll live or die."

Santana pulled Brittany into her and walked to a nurse, asking if there was somewhere they could sit and wait. She nodded, and they followed her out of the emergency room without even a glance at their body guards.

"How are we supposed to guard women who won't listen to us?" Ernest asked. James shook his head, sighing heavily, then followed them.

It was several hours before a doctor came out to meet them with news.

"She isn't doing well." Ernest translated. "She is bleeding a lot, and has a lot of…" he paused, looking for the word, said some things to the doctor then nodded in understanding. "Her insides are badly injured."

"Will she be okay?" Brittany asked. As Ernest spoke, the look on the doctor's face needed no translation. It was clear he was not optimistic. Without waiting for an answer she knew would upset Brittany further, Santana spoke.

"What about the babies?"

The doctor looked happily at her once he understood her question. He spoke quickly and brandished his hand as though to show them something.

"He says they are very good. Small, because they are twins and born early, but they are healthy. He wants to show them to you."

Brittany and Santana hesitated for a moment, looking at each other.

"He is asking what the problem is"

"We…we're not family" Brittany said, clinging to Santana for strength.

"We just wanted to know if they'd be ok before we left." Santana said quietly.

The doctor listened to Ernest's translation, his expression softening as he understood, then he walked up to them and put a hand on Santana's shoulder.

"You save them" he said in English. Brittany started crying again, and Santana found it hard not to follow suit. He spoke again, in Portuguese this time and gently pulled Santana forward.

"You're all they have" Ernest said softly. Even he looked emotionally gutted by the situation. James was looking away.

When they got to the nursery, the doctor went in and placed his hand on two cribs in the centre. As Santana looked at two beautiful boys with small curly tufts of bright brown hair, and a complexion close to a very light bronze, she finally allowed the dam inside to break. She felt a tug in her heart, in her entire body, pulling her towards the two boys, and suddenly she felt she could not leave them alone in the hospital. It was more than pity or a sense of obligation, it was something deeper. She looked at their beautiful pink faces, gripping Brittany who had sobered slightly, closer to her, and she knew that she would not be able to focus on another thing again, until she had found these boys some family to live with.

They stood outside that glass window for close to two hours before the doctor came back and announced that the mother had just died. They had been expecting that news, Santana had been preparing Brittany, but when the words came out of his mouth, Brittany felt like she had been punched in the heart. She didn't have any more tears to cry, but her sadness was evident. She slumped heavily, her legs unable to hold her anymore, and Santana was forced to lower her slowly to the floor, where she sat beside her. Neither of them spoke, Santana watching Brittany for any signs of some kind of breakdown, and Brittany staring up at the lights in the nursery, her eyes not blinking.

A nurse who had been watching them for the past hour came over to them, looking at them intently, then she walked back into the room and emerged with one of the babies, holding him in front of Brittany. Brittany stared at the baby, then looked up at the woman in confusion.

"Pegue-o" she said quietly. Pushing him closer to Brittany, who now sat up straight and lowered her legs from her chest. She continued to stare at the woman. The nurse smiled. "Take" she said again in English. Brittany's eyes widened and she looked at Santana in alarm. "Você está muito triste e ele vai te ajudar"

Santana blinked a few times, trying to decipher what the woman had said, then she smiled.

"Britt, I think she thinks it'll help you to hold him. Cause you're really sad."

Brittany nodded numbly and stretched out her arms for the baby. When he had been settled in her arms, he stretched, trying to free his arms from the blanket he was wrapped in, and opened his eyes. Brittany stared into mocha brown, the same mocha brown as Santana's, and felt her whole body swell with warmth. She freed his hand for him before he got upset, and he immediately gripped her finger. Brittany let out a laugh that sounded like a gasp, feeling like he had just reached out and grabbed her entire heart, and looked at Santana, a different kind of tears in her eyes. Santana was staring at the baby in complete amazement, as though she had never seen anything so beautiful in her life. When she looked back at Brittany her eyes were wide and glistening.

"Britt" she whispered, taking the baby's other hand in hers and rubbing his tiny fist with her thumb. Brittany nodded slowly, looking back at the baby who was staring at the ceiling.

"I know" she said.

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After twenty minutes, Brittany's breathing went back to normal, the colour returning to her cheeks, the nurse allowed both of them into the nursery to sit down, handing Santana the other boy. At some point, a few hours later, they were given bottles to feed the babies with, and as they did, Santana found herself crying again.

"Why are you crying S?" Brittany asked softly.

"They're so beautiful Britt" Santana said, rubbing the wisps of hair on his head so gently she was barely touching him.

"Yeah" Brittany agreed.

"And they have no one. Both of their parents were killed by horrible people and now they're alone in the world."

"We don't know that baby. The dad's family could still be around and want them. Or maybe her parents had siblings or something like that." Santana shook her head slowly, tracing her finger along the outline of the baby's face, but didn't say anything. They sat in silence for a few more minutes, watching the babies finish drinking.

"They're completely identical" Brittany said, having stood up and walked behind Santana to look at the one she was holding. Santana nodded.

"But I think all babies look alike at first. Maybe things will start popping up the older they get, like a dimple or mole or hair colour or something." She said.

Brittany looked down at the boy in her arms, realising for the first time that she wouldn't ever be able to see any of those differences, if they did pop up, and despite herself she couldn't help feeling heartbroken at the idea of not watching them grow up.

"Brittany" Santana said quietly, not looking up at her. Her voice sounded so unsure that Brittany walked back around and sat in the chair in front of her so she could see her face.

"Yeah?" she asked, when Santana had been quiet for a long time.

"I…" she trailed off, looking up at Brittany for a split second, then back to the baby in her arms as he stirred.

"You what baby?" Brittany asked, leaning forward and placing a hand on Santana's knee.

Santana looked at the baby Brittany was holding, then finally met Brittany's eyes, seeing the remnants of sadness but also a new kind of happiness that she had never seen before. She sighed. They were both delusional, and she could not be a part of any of the heartbreak Brittany was soon going to experience.

"I think we should hire a private investigator or something" she finally said.

Brittany frowned and retracted her hand, having expected Santana to say something completely different. "What? Why?"

"To find the boys' family, if they have any. Like you said, we don't know, they could be out there."

"But-"Brittany looked down at the baby.

"We're leaving Rio in two days," Santana said, pausing to let this information sink in for Brittany as it just had for her. "I think if they do have any family, we'll be able to find them by then."

Brittany sat back fully in her chair, her gaze never moving from the baby she was holding, and Santana swore she was holding him tighter than she had been before.

She sighed. "Britt-"

"I get it Santana." Brittany said coldly. Santana's eyes widened at her tone, she too sat back in her chair, but she chose not to say anything. Leaving was not an idea she was too fond of herself.

An hour later, Santana realised that it was three in the morning, and though the nurse on call seemed more than happy to have them stay as long as they wanted with the twins, she knew she needed to go. She had to be up at 7 AM, and even if she didn't, she had been ignoring calls from Eve and Emma all night. She supposed that now was as good a time as any for them to return to reality.

"You should probably go Santana" Brittany said in the same cold voice she had used earlier.

Santana frowned. "What?"

"You should go. You have to be up soon and you have a long day." Santana's frown deepened. "Plus, Eve won't stop calling me and it's getting irritating."

"Brittany why are you mad at me?"

"I'm not mad at you"

"You are." Brittany didn't say anything. "Are you saying you're not going to come with me tomorrow?"

Brittany licked her lips, but otherwise didn't make any indication that she had heard Santana.

Santana put the baby she was holding in his crib and stood up. "Put him down, I don't feel like waking up the whole nursery"

Brittany looked up at her frowning, but stood up and put the baby down anyway. Santana turned and walked out of the room, holding the door open for Brittany. As it closed they stood facing each other, arms folded.

"What Santana? You're the one who wanted to come out here."

"If you're not mad at me, why are you talking to me like that?" Santana said, fighting to keep her anger from rising.

"I'm tired"

"Oh yes…you always get like this when you're tired…How could I forget? You only get tired…oh EVERYDAY"

"Stop"

"Oh so you can talk to me however you like but I can't return the favour?"

"You're being sarcastic and it won't get us anywhere."

"I see….and where do we need to get. Please enlighten me. Because as far as you've told me, you're not mad, just tired."

Brittany was quiet for a while, staring at Santana.

"Why do you always have to be so heartless?" she asked harshly. Santana frowned and took a step back, like she'd been slapped.

"Brittany?"

"I thought we were feeling the same thing in there. I thought…"

"I know what you thought" Santana said, letting her voice get colder than it ever had with Brittany. "And that's why I said what I said. You want me to stop being so heartless?" Brittany flinched slightly, already regretting saying that, "then you need to stop living in rainbow land and join me in reality." Santana finished, clenching her jaw, and this time it was Brittany who took a step back.

"I…don't…" Brittany closed her eyes, shaking her head. "I am in reality Santana!" she said, her voice raising.

"Not the same reality I'm in then, because what were you thinking Brittany?"

"I was thinking that there are two beautiful boys in there that have your eyes and skin and curly hair, and that I love them more than I probably should, but I can't do anything about it. I was thinking that you loved them too, and that maybe-"

"Maybe what?" Santana said, her voice raising to match Brittany's. "We'd adopt them? Brittany…Jesús" Santana ran a hand through her hair. "We're in a foreign country, we're celebrities, and we're on tour."

"You're on tour" Brittany countered. Santana took another step back.

"Who even are you right now?" she asked quietly, looking into Brittany's eyes, genuinely searching for an answer.

Brittany softened for a moment, seeing the pain in Santana's face, then she remembered what they were arguing about and stood up straighter, hardening her features.

"Fine," Santana said, seeing Brittany's decision to continue fighting. "Yes, I'm on tour. But you're on tour a lot of the time too Brittany, so don't make it seem like it's my job that is the problem here. And even if you left the tour to take them back to the US, it doesn't change the fact that we're in a foreign country, and celebrities to boot. Do you know how hard it is to adopt a child from a different country?" Brittany reluctantly shook her head. "And it only gets harder when you're famous. They think you're doing it for publicity or something."

"But we're not" Brittany said defiantly.

"Obviously but-"

"Why are you fighting me on this? Don't you love them?"

"Brittany-"

"Don't you see how beautiful they are? Can't you see that they're ours?" she pleaded, taking several steps closer to Santana.

Santana stepped back until her back hit the wall, then closed her eyes, shaking her head.

"Brittany, don't you think I see everything you do? Do you really think I'm heartless?" Brittany went to take another step forward but Santana put a hand up to stop her. "I can't believe you think that I don't feel anything for those boys. Brittany I just spent 4 hours holding them, what do you think I was doing all that time?"

Brittany's body slumped, tears filling her eyes again, but Santana wasn't done.

"I'm only trying to keep us from going through heartbreak worse than we ever have before. If we let ourselves believe that we can have them, and then it ends up not being possible, do you think you would survive it? Cause I don't think I could. Think about everything that has to happen…seriously think about it. They have to do extensive searches for their family, then they're going to have to look into our lives, probably send someone to look at our house in San Jose, then there's the legal stuff that I'm sure I don't know about, cross border things I don't know, and like I said before, I'm on tour. As willing as I would be to cancel the tour even with all those uncertainties, I can't. I'd probably be sued into oblivion for all the contracts I'd be breaking, not to mention all the fans I'd be disappointing. There are other things at play here Brittany, not just how we feel."

Brittany, now understanding where Santana was coming from, felt more guilt than she ever had in her life. She tried to catch Santana's eyes to show her how badly she felt, but Santana wouldn't look her in the eye.

"Santana" she said quietly. "I just…I can't. We can't leave them."

Santana nodded, still not looking at her, then turned around to watch the now sleeping babies through the glass. Brittany took this as an opportunity to walk up to her, and placed her hand on the small of her back. Santana shrugged her hand off and stepped aside.

"Santana-"

"Stay then. The nurse said she doesn't mind so…I'm going back to the hotel, you stay here." She was already walking slowly down the hallway, keeping her eyes on the babies rather than Brittany. Brittany turned to watch her leave, feeling like her heart was ripping in half but not really knowing what to do.

When Santana got to the end of the corridor she finally looked up at Brittany, the sadness in her eyes further breaking Brittany's heart. "Let me know if you're dropping off the tour or not, I'll have to tell Eve." She said. And before Brittany could reply, she turned the corner and was out of sight.

When she got to the hotel, Santana didn't go back to sleep. Instead she turned on her laptop and began research on international adoption, laws and lawyers, and finding a private investigator. If she was going to be leaving in two days, she was going to make the most of her time. By 7:30, she and Eve, who had come over as soon as she heard about Santana's night, had found a lawyer in the US, who Eve was going to call as soon as his office opened at 8 and a private investigator in Brazil who they had already called and was going to meet with them at 2 PM when Santana had a short break. Santana would have liked to keep going, but Emma had started calling her, which meant she had only a few minutes to leave before she came and dragged her out of the room.