Chapter 9 : Breaking the Ice

*Amaya*

I was finally alone. I took a deep breath and released it slowly. This day was neverending. I was exhausted beyond comprehension but it was time for dinner. I was expected to be there. This expectation felt more at home for me as it was something I was regularly required to do for my father who often had fancy dinners with various people.

I found a small door hidden behind a curtain that led to the washroom. I quickly washed my face, still avoiding looking at myself in a mirror. While I washed my face, maids entered and put away the clothing I bought earlier but unfortunately I was unable to find where they might be.

The closet was dark and the drawers for the built-in armoire were completely hidden. I spent more time than I cared to admit hitting the walls of the closets and trying to pull back pieces of wood that might be a drawer.

I sighed in defeat before I turned to the dresses Jessa had given me. I didn’t have much of a choice, I couldn’t wear the tunic or leggings to dinner, it wasn’t proper.

Honestly, none of these dresses felt proper either. They were all a little more scandalous than I was used to. I also realized that most were slightly too big for me. I looked around the closet for a corset and found none.

I started to get anxious. I never wore a gown without a corset before. I frantically shuffled through the rack of dresses trying to find anything that might work and didn’t make me feel as if I was naked.

I found a dress that would work. It wrapped around my body like a robe with a tie along the waist that I could use to help it fit my frame. It was extremely low cut exposing my cleavage. If I had a corset, my breasts would’ve been a lot more impressive, but it would have to do.

The dress was made of deep forest green silk, as it caught the light it appeared to be made of soft gold. The sleeves fluttered over my shoulders in a way that reminded me of butterfly wings as I walked. I was quickly made aware that when I walked, due to the wrap style of the dress, the skirt exposed my legs almost completely.

I could hold the skirt closed with my hands but it caused me to hunch over while I walked. It wasn’t an attractive look, but I wasn’t trying to be attractive. There wasn’t anyone here that I wanted to attract. Well, maybe one.

I heard a gentle knock on the bedroom door that snapped me back to more appropriate thoughts of my host. I quickly dashed out of the closet to answer the door but discovered that they’d let themselves in.

“Oh, my dear!”

The woman was older, she reminded me a lot of Jessa and Wren. She held herself with authority and grace. She walked toward me confidently with her arms extended out to me. Her eyes were kind and warm. She smiled brightly and I immediately felt my defenses drop.

“You look beautiful!” She held my hands in hers and then spun me around in a small circle.

“Thank you,” I said bashfully. Many times I’d been called beautiful but this was the first time that I’d felt like it.

She gently placed her hand under my chin. “I’m so happy to see you up and about. I’ve been so worried about you.”

“You have?”

She chuckled softly, as she walked me over to the vanity. She pulled out the chair and gently patted the back, indicating that she wanted me to sit. “Of course, I was worried. You were under my care.”

I sat in complete shock. “What?”

The older woman began to take my hair down and brush it. “Well, I worked alongside the healers and then the witches,” she began.

“Wait, witches?” Shadowguard had finally lived up to a rumor, it just wasn’t the one I thought would be true.

She smiled knowingly, “Oh, witches aren’t so bad. You just have to uphold your end of the bargain.”

“Oh,” I said as I contemplated her words. I looked up in the mirror, bypassing my face, to look at her. “I don’t think I’m worth all of that.”

She immediately stopped with my hair and walked around the chair to face me. She leaned against the vanity and took both of my hands in hers. Squeezing them tightly, she looked deep into my eyes. “You were worth all of it and more,” she said slowly.

Suddenly, I was overcome with emotion and my eyes began to tear up. I realized that her eyes were teary as well and it hurt deep within my soul. I wasn’t trying to upset her, I barely knew her but it felt like I’d known her forever as if a hole in my heart I never realized was there was beginning to fill.

“Oh, no!” she playfully cried. “We can’t have any of that. Either one of us,” she joked as she brushed the tears from her eyes. I laughed and did the same. She returned to my hair and began to plait it in one long braid. She skillfully pinned it up in an elaborate twist.

“There you go,” she said once she finished. She gave me a small kiss on my cheek.

“Thank you,” I replied with a warm smile.

For the first time, I finally dared to look at myself in the mirror. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, almost as if the night of the ball I’d grown a large mole on my face or an extra limp.

But I looked the same as I always had.

The time spent out in the sun this afternoon had brought my freckles to the surface but they weren’t that noticeable. It was only now that I began to realize that my value existed outside of my beauty or my body.

“I’m sorry,” I began, “but I didn’t catch your name.”

She smiled once more and held out her hand for me to take. “My name is Petra. Come, it’s time for dinner.”

***

I heard voices down the hall. I paused, and my nerves began to get the better of me. Petra squeezed my hand before letting it go. She smiled and gave me a little nod of encouragement before walking into the dining room ahead of me. The voices continued as if nothing happened. I took it as a good sign that I could almost sneak into the room without notice.

I took a deep breath and cautiously entered. The ceilings were high and three large crystal chandeliers lit the room. A large mahogany table stretched the length of the room, however, the guests were all seated close together on one end with Wren seated at the head of the table.

I quickly scanned the room and was pleased to see that I knew everyone in attendance. At first, no one realized that I’d entered but then my heel clicked on the marble floor. The next sound I heard was of heavy wooden chairs harshly sliding against the floor causing an awful squeak.

Wren stood up to greet me then he was awkwardly followed by Asher and Saunder who did the same. Katriss rolled her eyes as Jessa laughed into her napkin. This behavior was unusual of the men but it was the polite thing to do, I thought nothing of it.

Without thinking, I straighten my back and in doing so I let go of the skirt I’d been keeping closed. I walked across the room toward an empty chair at the end of the group. I could feel his eyes burning into me.

Wren walked over to the empty chair that I was about to claim and pulled it out before an attendant could do so. I turned to thank him as I sat down and was met by his rather impressive bulge. I quickly turned my head as my cheeks began to flush. He silently pushed my chair in and then returned to his seat.

Once seated the conversation went back to normal. I took a sip of wine as my heart tried to steady itself. Over the rim of my glass, I peeked at Wren.

He was laughing heartily along with Asher. I watched as he playfully threw his head back, the way the minuscule crow’s feet around his eyes crinkled as he laughed. I had no idea what they were laughing about but I found myself chuckling along. I coughed to cover myself, snapping out of my daze.

A large plate was placed before me. The main course was a giant serving of prime rib with a cabernet sauvignon au jus and fondant potatoes. My mouth watered at the sight, I wanted to inhale the delicious-looking meal. It was one of my favorites back home and I was eager to see how they did it in Shadowguard. But I refrained.

It was bad manners to begin a course before the king so I waited. I was the only one to do so but I wasn’t going to do anything that might upset or offend Wren and his generosity. His plate remained untouched as he joked along with Asher.

We locked eyes. At first, he looked confused or concerned that I wasn’t eating but then as if he was struck by lightning, it clicked what I was doing. He quickly began to cut his prime rib and take a bite. I happily smiled and began to eat.

“Oh, what’s this?” Asher’s voice boomed across the table playfully. His mouth was full of food. “Is my liege eating meat?” he teased Wren. Wren’s cheeks slowly turned red but he didn’t look offended. Everyone at the table began to laugh as they looked at Wren and then looked at me. I was missing out on something.

Katriss, who I was seated next to, leaned over and whispered, “He usually doesn’t eat meat.” But the whisper was loud enough for the rest of the table to overhear.

“Oh yes,” Asher playfully went on to explain. “Our king is a little on the soft side. He’d rather whistle along with birds than eat them.”

I quickly glanced over to Wren and felt a sudden urge to say something but before I could, Asher continued. “So, how do you like the meat, Princess Amaya? Unfortunately, we were fresh out of babies tonight.”

Wren immediately glared at the man who I could now tell had too much wine before dinner. The room became tense and slightly uncomfortable. I wasn’t a fan of being the butt of anyone's jokes but especially the butt of a drunk man’s.

Without thinking or missing a beat, I sighed dramatically. “Oh, that’s disappointing to hear,” I said casually as I cut another bite of food. I felt everyone's eyes on me waiting for me to continue. “I was really looking forward to trying baby,” I said as I took a bite.

To drive the joke home, I didn’t even bother to look over at Asher. I finished my bite and took a sip of wine.

The room stood still in shock when finally Wren began to laugh, followed by the remaining party. Asher sat back in his chair stunned. He obviously didn’t expect me to say anything.

“That was quick, Princess. Touche,” he said in defeat. He bowed his head in my direction. I smiled and did the same.

“Maybe don’t be such a dick next time,” Jessa scolded as she threw her napkin at the man who in his drunken state could not dodge it, causing fits of uproarious laughter from everyone, including myself.

The rest of the meal went off without issue. Everything was more delicious than the thing before it. I’d never eaten so much in my life. Unlike at breakfast, I didn’t feel like I was being watched. Conversation flowed so naturally that I was too distracted to notice how much I’d eaten until the meal was completely over and my stomach was so full it hurt.

Jessa leaned across the table toward me, “Katriss and I are going to go into town, do you want to come?”

I smiled but shook my head.

“Oh, come on!” Katriss pleaded, “It’ll be fun!”

“Maybe next time,” I offered. “I’m so full and sleepy.”

Jessa blew a raspberry at me. I laughed as I jumped out of the trajectory of her spit.

“Fine,” she whined. “But you promise? Next time?” I nodded my head yes and she stood from the table. Katriss threw her arm around Jessa’s shoulder as they exited the room. Saunder and Asher trailing behind them.

I sighed in contentment as I began to stand from my chair but was quickly interrupted by the last member of our dining party who was pulling my chair out for me. He then leaned over and offered me his hand. I happily placed mine in his as I stood up.

I paused as I stared at our hands, my mind drifting to places that caused me to blush.

“I, uhh, I missed an important room in the tour.” His voice was deep, it felt as if it was piercing through my soul. I locked onto his eyes and it felt like I was floating. “Would you like to see the library?”

Without hesitation, I nodded my head yes.