Darling Brother

I sat straight up, holding my chest.

"N-Nothing," I stammered but my face was already red as a radish. I looked down at the bed but then in between his legs. He was still erect.

"Okay," he said with a sly smile and went back to the computer room. I covered my face in shame but then I could hear him breathing hard again. I wasn't confused anymore. He wanted me to go in there.

I tiptoed to the room and then I slid in just behind him. I closed the door, and he spun the chair around. Instantly, I dropped on my knees, placing my nails on his inner thighs. I gently ran my hands between his legs. Then, inch by inch I kissed all the way up until I was between his legs. As he held my head, he stroked my hair gazing at me.

"I want to see it," I whimpered. "Then I need to suck it."

When he pulled his briefs back, I was about to look in–

I awoke suddenly. When I opened my eyes, Bram was in bed beside me. I gasped trying to get my bearings. What happened?

After a minute the fogginess of sleep began to lift, and I realized it was a dream. I gazed at Bram with longing. It was so real. I wanted to reach down between his legs, but I had to remind myself that dream Bram wasn't the person I was with.

Or could he be? I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

***

I was still in a daze when I woke up the next morning, still questioning whether or not what happened the night before was real. I went over it in my head and concluded that it wasn't.

Thankfully, Bram was already gone to work by then. I was grateful to not have to face him. He'd wonder why I was constantly blushing.

To get my mind off the strange thoughts I was having, I decided to go visit the neighbors up the street. They had two young children, Jeffy who was seven years old and Darla; five.

After visiting briefly with the kids, their mother Wendy and I decided to relax in the shade on her back deck. There was a glass table and metal patio chairs situated underneath a large umbrella to cover us from the sun.

"So, how has it been lately?" I asked. Wendy was married to Captain Charles Carlisle and she had confessed during a prior visit that she missed him. He had periods of time away from home on intermittent special assignments.

"I've been missing him but it's not as bad as before. It's good to have him back. The latest thing I just heard, though, is that Charlie has been working in the lab. Doesn't Bram work there too?" Wendy took a sip of sweet tea.

"He does." I nodded and took a sip of my sweet tea.

"I guess Charlie has been there for a while," Wendy said, lowering her head. She took out a wrinkled cigarette pack from her dark blue shorts pocket and shook it until she found a cigarette. She pulled one out and lit it, exhaling to the right. I watched her suck on the filter, leaving a ring of rose-pink lipstick.

"Had he not told you anything at all?" I asked. Wendy moved her thick, wavy crimson-red hair out of her eyes. I could see that she was getting some gray hair along her temples.

"No, nothing. I only found out about it from him because I saw some files he brought home." She adjusted her shorts over her plump legs, pulling them down slightly. They barely covered her.

"Bram's been bringing files home, too."

Wendy glanced at me and widened her eyes.

"He won't talk about it." She inhaled, then exhaled again. I watched as her long, thick, flamingo-pink thumbnail flicked the ash into the ashtray. Some of the ash flew out because of the light wind but Wendy didn't seem to notice.

"Neither will Bram, but I figured it just went along with his personality. Bram isn't much of a talker."

"That's the thing. Charlie is. He's usually really honest, sometimes to a fault. But not with this."

We sat in silence drinking our sweet tea, staring out at the huge field from her backyard. I could see that some of the leaves on the trees were just barely beginning to turn. What was going on in the lab that they wanted to keep secret?

"Mom!" We both heard Jeffy yelling. "Darla won't give me back my soldier!"

Wendy stood up with a half-smile.

"Guess I'd better break up the catastrophe. Jeffy has been having a lot of trouble lately with sharing."

"No problem. I've got to get back anyway."

We waved goodbye and then I walked back home. I checked my watch in the bright sunlight. It was close to 3 pm.

When I arrived at my house, I was surprised to see Bram standing there with a young man. Once I was closer, I could see that the guest was Bram's youngest brother Jonah.

"This is Jonah!" Bram slurred introducing his sibling. "Jonah, that's Alexandra."

"Hi!" Jonah said.

"Hi," I said. "Why are you two just standing out here in the blazing sun?"

"Oh, Bram. He forgot his keys."

"No work today, Bram?" I asked. He shook his head.

"I got a day off to be with my brother. He's getting married!" I smiled. I hadn't seen Bram this excited before. I giggled and Jonah threw two fists skyward.

I could smell the liquor on them as I unlocked the door. They were jabbing one another in the ribs playfully at first but then it turned into rough-housing. I passed by them as they bumped into me with their faux standoff.

I watched as the two wrestled on the floor.

"Careful of hitting your heads on the coffee table," I warned them, but they continued, unconcerned. Amused, I rolled my eyes and got a snack for myself. When they stood up huffing and puffing, it was like I was looking at twins.

They both had the same emerald-green eyes, onyx-black hair, and muscular bodies. It was amazing how strongly their genetically green eyes pervaded in their family, especially with their darker complexations.

Bram pulled out the scotch from the cupboard in the island and sat with Jonah. He poured them both shots and they quickly upended them and slammed their empty glasses on the counter. Bram filled it again. As he glanced over at me, he beckoned.

Gesturing to me, he held out the shot. He was swaying, his elbow propped on the island, the brown liquid spilling down his hand.

"I don't think you're supposed to shoot scotch, Bram. Isn't it more of a sipping and enjoying drink?" I asked.

"It's whatever we want it to be, right Jonah?" They both laughed loudly and gave one another high fives.

"What the hell? Why not?" I said taking the liquor, downing it. Something about scotch whiskey always seemed carbonated as it warmed my throat. I shook my head, scrunching up my face, holding the back of my wrist to my mouth, then exhaled with a shudder.

Both men laughed hysterically at me. I playfully flipped them off, which only made them guffaw louder. I couldn't help but giggle.

"You guys are off the rails today." I shook my head, playfully, thinking this was the most fun I'd had with Bram since … Well, ever.

Bram's phone abruptly shattered our merrymaking with its loud ring. Bram glanced at me and then the phone as if to ask me why it was ringing. I didn't know why he thought I had useful information to share.

When Jonah glanced at the caller ID, he promptly waved the phone at Bram. Bram took it and whipped it up to his ear, holding it with rigidity; a soldier through and through. Even while drunk, he could retain his control.

"Hello," he said firmly. I sat at the island as Jonah and I eavesdropped. Jonah was swaying on the chair with a goofy smile on his lips, his eyes glazed.

"Hi," I said softly, leaning into Jonah's space so I could keep my voice down. "It's nice to meet you in person."

"Hi, Alex," Jonah said. "Likewise."

"Thanks for calling me that," I said. "My nickname, I mean."

"Oh, Bram told me to. Before we got here." Jonah pointed to Bram.

"Huh," I said. That was curious. I played with the decorative bowl of painted pinecones on the island as I considered what that could possibly mean.

"That's our dad, Rusty, on the phone. He's a real prick," Jonah explained, then he chortled.

"I think I've gathered that. About the prick thing. Sandy was here the other day and said the same thing."

"Yeah, who wouldn't think that about Rusty?" Jonah asked rhetorically, pulling on his hair. It reminded me of Bram. "You know, Rusty says Sandy is his favorite, but I don't think so."

"Oh?" I turned to him. "Who is then?"

"Bram. It has always been Bram. He's harder on him because he believes in Bram but at the same time Rusty's jealous of him." Jonah threw his finger out pointing to Bram emphatically.

"Interesting," I said. "You want a beer?" Jonah nodded with a broad smile. I hadn't noticed before, but his left incisor was chipped. It could have just happened with their earlier horseplay, for all I knew.

"Thanks," he said.

"Congratulations, by the way," I said. He smiled and threw his fist in the air. "So, I'm curious about Rusty. You said he's jealous?" I asked as I returned to my seat beside Jonah. Jonah opened his mouth to speak, but suddenly our attention was drawn to Bram as he began to pace.

There were little words spoken over the phone but then Bram said, "I'm doing what you asked me. And no, we haven't." A few stutters slipped from Bram's lips, which probably meant he was getting cut off from speaking. He hated that.

Jonah seemed as interested as I was in the call. There were periods of silence and then some mumbles of agreement. Abruptly, he said, "Yes, sir." Then he hung up. He put the phone down on the counter and was quiet for a few seconds.

"Definitely Rusty, right?" Jonah asked, swaying again.

"Dude, why are you drinking my beer?"

"I got it from the fridge!" Jonah pointed. I glanced at Jonah in thanks for not ratting me out. Bram took the bottle of scotch, poured another shot, then drank it. "Did he say anything?"

"Like what?" Bram asked.

"About me getting married?"

"Sorry, no."

Jonah shrugged but then looked down with a glum expression.

"You guys hungry?" I asked. They shook their heads.

"I gotta head out. Celebrating!" Jonah said, throwing his fist forcefully in the air, yet again. "Yeah! She's totally hot. Kinda like you, Al–"

"Okay, that's enough," Bram said with a half-smile and steered Jonah toward the door.

"Do you have a ride?" I asked Jonah, glancing at him and then Bram.

"Yep, Uber," Jonah said, stumbling out the front door. I watched him light a cigarette. Bram joined him and took one drag. He began coughing and Jonah laughed hysterically at him.

Bram waited until the cab got there and then came back inside. I sat at the island waiting to see what he wanted to do. He recounted some of the conversations he and Jonah had under his breath. It was making him laugh.

"Bram, why didn't you tell me you had the day off?"

"I just wanted it to be me and Jonah … at first, I mean." He grasped the table to keep his balance then laughed at himself.

"Did you hit a strip club or something?"

"No. We were watching horse races."

"The horse track?" I asked, my lip curled up in surprise.

"Uh huh. Jonah has one there. Shelby Delight. She did well, too."

"Well, that's … good," I said. I didn't know what else to say. Bram's eyes remained on my face, scanning it.

"Your dad ever get into horshes?"

"Not that I'm aware of," I answered.

"I know you've been wondering about some shhtuff," he said with a slur. I stifled a laugh. "You want to know what's been going on lately?" he asked.

"Uh, yes, of course," I said. I wasn't sure what he was referring to, but it was great that he was willing to share. He pointed to a stool across from him at the island. I dutifully sat down.

"I need to start training you. Like a soldier."

"Okay, cool. Why?"

"Don't worry about why. Just do as I shhay."

"Fine."

"We'll start tomorrow."

I agreed and then watched him go into our spare bedroom and drop onto the bed like a sack of bricks. I grinned and listened closely. Within moments he was already snoring.