Chapter 18
"She should get the ward." Sam said as we watched Ketch searching around on the ground for something, "We can't take the risk of her getting possessed again."
"We need to give her time." I sighed, looking back at my car where Elly was seated in the back seat, huddled in a jacket. "I don't want to push her right now."
We'd stopped in what seemed like the middle of nowhere, a field of some sort in a tiny town no map knew the name of. It had been almost half an hour since we'd stopped, but I wasn't sure what to look for so I'd stood off to the side with Sam. We hadn't said much until he'd mentioned the ward. He was right. I knew that, but right now just wasn't…
"Ah, here we go," Ketch said, reaching toward the ground and pulling up hard on a hatch.
The thing creaked open and revealed a long ladder reaching into darkness as Sam and I stepped over for a look. Small iridescent lights started to light up from the top and lit the path downward.
"Right." I took a deep breath before turning around to go back to the car and get Elly.
Sam nodded and headed for Baby to get Dean and Cael. There hadn't been any sign of Cas, Lucifer, and Gabe yet. But I was taking that as a good sign. They were hopefully just staying out of sight for now until we could get inside.
"Hey kid," I said, smiling when she turned her head and smiled at me. "We found the way in. Ready to go?"
Elly nodded, tired. I pulled her gently from the car and snaked my arm around her waist to help her to the hatch.
Ketch had already climbed down to the bottom, his silhouette glowing in the lights at the bottom as we reached the hole. I let go of Elly and started down the first few rungs, looking back up at her before continuing down. I reached halfway before looking back up and making sure she was following before I made the rest of the way to the bottom.
The space at the bottom was small, clearly only meant for one or two people to stand in at once. Ketch was still messing with the door as I watched Elly slowly climb down. I was about to turn to him and tease him about how long it was taking when the door popped open and he pushed inside. I waited for Elly to reach the bottom, helping her off the last rungs and waiting for Dean to appear at the top before helping her through the door.
I paused once we stepped through, taking in the massive underground room. We were on a metal platform near the top, metal rails guarding the sides, but looking overlooked down to a massive server room. A long glass desk surrounded by several leather chairs in the middle of the room. And a large mainframe of screens covered one wall. Some showed different maps with small blinking lights, some were cameras of various rooms I assumed were in the rest of the bunker, one showed the view of the above-ground field, Sam watching Cael go carefully down the ladder before following him and closing the hatch. Elly tugging at my shirt broke me from my stare and I took in the long series of stairs that lead to another landing and then the ground floor.
"Here," Ketch said, coming to take Elly from me and leading her to one of the chairs.
I looked through the rest of the room, walking along the walls and taking in what I could see without going any further in. The other three walls were lined with shelves containing thousands of books or weapons of some sort. Guns, swords, supernatural items I'd never seen before.
Four halls ran from the room, one leading to a series of doors, all closed but numbered similar to how our bunkers rooms were. Another seemed to lead to a small kitchen and pantry. Down another, I couldn't quite see anything, but the smell of motor oil and gas told me it was most likely a garage. The last hall was short and seemed to lead to a single door, it wasn't marked with a number like the others, and it was metal, old, and rusted at the hinges.
I walked back to Elly and brushed a strand of hair from her face, she looked so distant. Something in her head pulling her away from this place and to something darker. I knew exactly what she was going through. I had been tortured for far longer, but it all looked the same in the nightmares and swallowed memories. They were always worse when you closed your eyes.
"Can you show her to a room?" I absently asked Ketch, not taking my eyes off her.
I felt his hand brush my arm, a sign that he had heard what I'd asked and understood my thoughts. I turned to Dean and Sam as they helped Cael down the steps.
"Where the Hell are those angels?" Dean grumbled.
"They'll be here soon.' Sam said, reassuring our brother.
"There's a room up the hall a bit you can put him in," Ketch said, taking Elly from her seat and leaving my side, "Follow me, sweetheart."
Elly didn't look like she was conscious of moving. Her legs worked and moved on their own, pushing her through the hall in front of Ketch, but she didn't react to being moved again. She was just gone. The boys followed behind, disappearing with the rest out of view.
I collapsed into one of the chairs, closing my eyes, exhausted. I didn't flinch when steps found their way back into the room. Nor when sweet hands found my shoulders and squeezed gently.
"I can't help but feel sick about what happened to her." I said softly, "I know what they do down there. They take you apart piece by piece and stitch you back together, just to do it all over again."
"She'll come back eventually," Ketch said kindly, "She'll be ok. She honestly reminds me of you a little bit."
I gave a forced laugh, "She's too sweet to be anything like me. I'm the monster who will end up killing her."
The words hung in the air, freezing the room. The truth of them hung in the air with it, choking me. It felt like a thousand knives had pierced my heart, each letter cutting deep. I could feel the hot tears welling up under my eyelids. I opened my eyes so they could fall and looked into Ketch' silver pools. His eyes reflected the regret on my face. Neither of us could deny the words I had just said. It would be true in the end.
"We don't have to think about that at the moment." Ketch spoke softly, breaking the heavy silence and wiping the tears from my cheeks, "We need to think about helping her first."
I opened my mouth to reply, but a flutter of wings interrupted my thought. I looked to the smaller landing as Cas, Lucifer, and Gabe stumbled into the room. They all tumbled down the short staircase and to the floor.
I took in Gabe for the first time as he sat there, petrified on the ground. He was covered in dry blood and dirt, no one had bothered to get him cleaned up since he'd come to us. He fought every time someone tried. The white tunic he wore was torn and dark with filth. His once jovial, trickster golden eyes, were now filled with panic and fear. He cried out every time Lucifer or Cas touched him, not using words, but grunts of pain and fright.
Seeing him worried me. He had been tortured. An archangel brought down to a level so low he didn't seem to recognize he had any power left. And his eyes held the same distant look that Elly's now held. I could only hope she didn't become like him, so trapped in her mind she forgot who she was and who was trying to help her. She would never go back to normal, but as close as she could get would be better than…this.
"I have a room ready for him down the hall," Ketch said, leaving me and leading the angels down the hall.
They pulled Gabe down the hall, all four disappearing again. Leaving me alone once more with my thoughts. I closed my eyes again, my thoughts going back to what my torture had been like. It had been thirteen years since I'd been in her shoes. But the nightmares still came some nights. Memories of hooks and chains, blades and guns. Every manner of torture one could think of and then some. It had taken me years to get used to the dreams. But this was all new for her. Every memory is fresh and painful. How was I going to help her through that? I sighed loudly and threw my arm over my eyes, leaning back in the chair and letting dread cover me.
"What do you mean he's gone?!" Dean yelled from the hall.
"Great…" I grumbled to myself.
"How else would you like me to put it, Dean?" That was Cas, I'd recognize his angry monotone anywhere. "He's. Gone."
It was most likely Lucifer they were talking about. No one else leaving would have bothered anyone that much. And at this point, that wasn't much of a surprise anymore. He had a way of being as useful as possible, then disappearing when everyone's backs were turned. We'd just have to deal with him later. Like we always did.
The presence of hands massaging my shoulders spooked me, making me jump before they forced me back down into the chair again. I opened my mouth to protest Ketch' touch but closed it again when he found a particularly sensitive spot.
"We should be looking for him." I gave a small protest, not wanting to move.
"You need to relax. We can do that tomorrow." His voice was deep, a message only for me. "We should get some rest."
I willed myself to protest more, to not fall into his embrace again, and to hunt down the devil that had given my family so much trouble. But I couldn't. My body was giving over to its needs. The need for sleep. The need for a decent night's rest. The need for his touch again. It had been a crazy few days. I deserved this.
"Fine." I sighed, "Lead me away."
I shouldn't have been surprised by the room he kept here. But this was something more than the nice house he'd shown me in Hell. This was a small bedroom that looked lived in. Two dressers were built into the walls next to the door, abstract paintings hung on the walls, and small hangers or hooks hung between some. There were shelves here and there that held books and nicknacks, and three cutouts at the end of the room, one that held artificial screens showing the forest and its sounds on either side of the room, and the last in the middle of the far wall held a desk cluttered with books, papers, and several coffee cups. There was a large bed sunken into a square in the center of the floor. It was covered in ruffled gray sheets and several pillows. This was comfortable. Lived in. Home.
"Do you stay here often?" I asked curiously.
"Often enough." His hands found their way around my waist as he spoke.
"I must have missed something about you." I teased, turning in his arms and looking up at him, "This is messy. Aren't you all about being tidy and everything has a place."
"When it needs to." He wasn't focusing on my jokes. Rather, Ketch seemed focused on my face, and the look of my cheeks as they turned pink.
"Deep down, under all that bravado." I cupped his face gently, "Is a messy monster hunter, just like the rest of us."
It was a quick turn of events when I ended up flat against the door to the room. He'd trapped me there, palms flat against either side of my head. I could feel my pulse beat quicker in my chest as I met those silver pools. The scent of him was in my head again, warm, addictive, and encouraging.
"It's unlikely we'll find Lucifer before tomorrow." He bent, tracing the pulse in my neck with his tongue. I felt the goosebumps rise on my skin. "That's a very long time."
"All night." I agreed.
"Do you remember our first night together?" Ketch asked, his voice gruff. "I don't remember any details."
"Ketch," I whispered, my voice catching in my throat.
"It's been a while since then, I know." He lifted his head from my neck, "And the last few days have been just so…tense."
"They were very long…" It was all I could think to answer.
He chuckled, "Tonight. Whatever we have left of it." his lips were so close to mine. "I'm going to take my time."
All we had was this. The breath between us. The night stretched out before us.
He found my mouth then, not giving me a moment longer to escape. Not that I wanted to regardless. It was soft, something that was keeping the wild controlled. We tasted each other as if we were delicacies. Each taking time to relearn the other's mouth.
The kiss lasted until I was trembling until I thought we would melt into one another. And somehow, we had both begun to laugh. Breathless and beautiful here against the door, with only a kiss between us.
"You're going to kill me," I whispered.
"Not necessarily." He whispered back.
Then his hands were on me. His touch was so soft against my skin that it made me shudder. And I couldn't get enough of him, flushed and hot and mine. I no longer had to fear that word taking root. I no longer had to spend the energy to fight it off.
This time, when he took my mouth, it was harder. Deeper. Wilder. His hand found its way into my hair, and he had the other snaking its way down the back of my pants. I pushed against him, pressing myself into him so that all he could feel was the temptation of my breasts.
I felt as hungry as he did as I found my way beneath his shirt, my hands against his abdomen and then at the waistband of his pants.
"No." He said, chuckling. "We're going to take it slow."
"I didn't sign up for slow." I breathed.
"Tough luck." He said against my mouth.
Then he bent down and picked me up, I enjoyed the feeling of weightlessness in his arms. I never wanted him to put me down, especially when he looked at me that way. Starry-eyed, like he had never held anything more precious.
He carried me over to the bed that waited across the room, deep and soft and unquestionably him in ways I would've sworn were parts of a mask I'd only seen glimpses of.
Ketch settled us onto the bed and then kneeled before me, taking in my every last detail as I did his. He had been my torment. My temptation. My treat. I could see the same lust and longing gleam in his eyes that flared so hot in me.
His hair had become tousled, begging for my hands to run through it. I could feel how crooked my jeans felt on my hips now, matching the way his shirt was now untucked.
He looked as if he might explode.
He was the one thing on the planet that threatened my control, and here, with his hands on my body and that look in his eyes, was the only place that would never bother me.
He smoothed his hands down the fabric that covered my thighs, then pulled my jeans down with him. I lifted my hips to help as he roughly tugged them down. His breath inhaled sharply when it was revealed I'd been commando.
"Sometimes." He spoke roughly, "You're so beautiful. I find myself distracted on hunts."
I blinked. Then felt a smile spread over my face.
"Careful, Arthur." I murmured, "All this sweet talk might go to your head."
He didn't answer me with words. Instead, he slid down so he was between my legs. He slid his hands beneath me, pulling me towards him again, then he buried his head between my legs.
And I was a goner.
If this was the way I was finally going to go, I was more than happy with it. He was licking his way into me, almost like he was determined to drown.
It must have been easy to ignore the clamoring of his own body as mine shook beneath his mouth, his hands. The noises that came from me, greedy and sweet, would make any other man weak at the knees.
Only when his name had come past my lips several times did he finally move on, coming up to peel my shirt off so I could finally fully be free to him. Just, for him.
"You, too." It was as much a command as I could make it sound through my rough voice.
He had done that to me. He would always do that to me. And it was clear from the pleasure his face and body held, that he would never be tired of doing it.
Ketch stood, making quick work of his shirt, pants, and boxers. He had never been a self-conscious man. It always felt like he viewed himself as a weapon to be used and tossed aside. Nothing more. But he was so much more than that to me.
I couldn't help but stare at him, mouth slightly ajar and eyes wide, as if I had never seen him in this light before.
"I have never understood," I said softly.
I rose from the bed and took a few small steps towards him. My fingertips found their way to his chest, moving gently over the skin there. He was holding his breath. I ran my fingers over his scars, touching each one as if he could shatter at any second.
"What don't you understand?" he asked, a small growl in the words.
"How a man so harsh and cold," I whispered, "Could be so beautiful."
I hardly let him process before I placed my lips on top of a scar that started near his shoulder and splintered over his chest, a map of some accident he had survived when he was much younger. I followed the scar across his chest, then followed more down. My fingers felt cool as they brushed against his hot skin. Like a fire had lit inside of him and I was the only one who could cool it now.
"Alex…" Ketch murmured.
My name was like a song, a poem. Something so lyrical it was unlike the man before her.
We weren't playing any characters tonight. We weren't wearing roles or hiding under false notions of information or espionage. We were here by choice. Neither of us may have known that when our adventures started, but I would remind him tonight.
I told him with every kiss, every brush of my hand. I smiled, my mouth against his skin as I followed his scars to his back, and knew how to identify most of the marks there. Some I had given him, others I had heard tales of.
As if it were a song of battles won and lost. Knives and guns, monster claws and teeth, some explosion here or there. When I made it to his front again, I stared into those silver stars, smiling.
"Absolutely beautiful," I whispered.
"Not compared to you." He said in turn, "Nothing compares to you, and nothing ever will."
It was hard to say who moved first after that. It was him, or it was me, but somehow, I was in his arms again. His mouth was on mine, I was twining myself around him, and we were tumbling back down onto the soft bed.
And there was no hiding now. There were only the two of us. Skin to skin. And I lost myself in the only place I'd ever felt found.
He took it slow, returning my earlier play and making sure his mouth found every part of me. By the time he finally pulled me beneath him again, my breath was ragged. I had taken to cursing him, and he grinned down at me, braced there above me.
"Patience, love," Ketch told me.
"Don't you patience me, bastard." I threw it out.
"That's remarkably impolite." He chided me.
"Oh, go f…"
He thrust deep into me. I arched into him, the curse I had been throwing at him changing into more of a prayer. And only when I came back down did he begin to move. He still took it painfully slow, but he never took it easy on me.
Because this was us, perfect in every imperfect way. Beautiful beyond imagining and every last bit as strong. He would always amaze me in the way he could take everything thrown at him, in the way I would always take him and all his dark demands.
And I knew with every impossibly deep thrust, every time we met and moaned out in pleasure, that this was real. Raw. Something like magic, changing us both by the second.
I wrapped my legs around his waist and held on tight. And he lost his pace, his rhythm. Then I burst into flame, consuming us both, until there was nothing left but the glory of it all. And his voice in my ear as we both hurtled straight on into the center of the sun, whispering my name.