Getting things straight

Sorin (Present timeline)

I remembered it all.

My first life.

I remembered my nightmares. It's a constant loop of people cursing me as they burn to death or get killed with magic and weapons. Their voices haunt me every night, the cries of little children, the screams of women, it's all on repeat but I always forget about it all in the morning.

I remembered the nightmares I had in the beginning where I was killed, where I was assaulted. I saw everything so vividly yet refused to believe it was happening to me.

It was my brain's way of saving me. I pretended it wasn't me. I pinned the blame on someone called Sorin and refused to believe she was me all along.

It was easier that way. That way, the guilt wouldn't eat me up. That way, I didn't feel like a criminal.

But I guess it was inevitable to avoid it all.

I smiled sarcastically at myself. A novel? The story was in my head in the form of a novel because I was protecting myself.

"I gave you that poison you drank that night before your father's funeral." The Oracle confessed but I already knew. I just looked back at her with empty eyes now, "It was a potion to bring your soul back from the other world, back to its original body."

I already know…

The time my soul was there, everything repeated in the same exact manner here as in the original timeline. To begin with, the timeline only changes for me and the Oracle. We're the only ones who know after all. I was called back right before the disaster happened and changed it.

"So it took you a lot of time to send my soul to Earth," I said, "I was still in this world till the time that happened, wasn't I?"

She smiled, "I see you're smarter now that you're no longer denying things." She giggled, "Yes, you were here for the whole year of the war, till the time the two kings came to a realization that more war will only mean more death and so they formed a peace treaty."

"And they married their lovers and began to rebuild." It felt so foreign, "And people called them 'True Kings' for putting everything aside and throwing away the hate for a better future…"

"Yes…" She replied, "But I sent your soul to the other world right before their marriages."

Right, but I knew it was going to happen, so that part was in my mind.

My chest hurt. I was feeling betrayed again but who am I to blame? I've done what I wanted to do but I still feel so lost and alone.

I looked at the Oracle, "I feel like there's another reason, you're here." I was still sitting on the platform but this time out of choice. I just didn't feel like getting up.

"I am," She smiled.

"What? Because Leroy said I keep getting into dangerous situations?" I was being a little sarcastic but it only came back to me.

"You're the problem Sorin," She was very serious, "You need to be gone for everything else to be in place."

"What?" I blinked at her in confusion,"Are you telling me, I have to die?" It was as if my thoughts were vanishing one by one. A frown appeared on my face when I realized there was more bad waiting for me.

"Things can be altered. But certain things need to happen anyway. You are the villain of this story and things can only be set right if you're no longer here."

"What?" That came to me as a shock.

"I'm sure you've noticed it yourself." Her expressions were a bit off, "You've been having near death experiences, haven't you?" My heart sank, "The world itself is trying to remove you." Goosebumps, bad ones, "Because you're not supposed to be here. The only reason you are, is because someone saved you. But for how long? The longer you stay, the closer death will come to you."

"That's-" I gulped down a lot of saliva, "That's not fair…" The world itself wants to remove me? After all I did to make sure everything was peaceful!?? "Why?"

The ants, the vase that dropped on me, when I slipped and almost fell on sharp rocks, when I fell down the pit hole…

"What do you mean why?" She passed me a sad smile, "You didn't ask for a happy ending, you asked for redemption and we can't change the whole thing."

"We already changed so much." I shook my head in denial, "I changed so much!!"

This was unfair. It was cruel. I've given away so much but I still can't live?

"And you did a good job at that! We did it, but we did it the wrong way. We used a forbidden thing. Plus, every key character that was dead in the original timeline, has to be dead here too. You're one of those key characters. Perhaps, if you weren't a royal but a commoner, it would have been different."

The news broke on me like ice. It numbed my mind like one would feel numb when submerged in cold for a long time.

"I see…" I didn't think the feelings of misery could go this deep, "After all we've done?" I looked at her with anger on my face and tears in my eyes, "After everything I've lost?" I pursed my lips, "I'm still a menace to the world?" I laughed sarcastically, "I don't believe I was that bad…" My eyes stung.

I felt like crying again but what was the point?

I came back to make things right. I wanted to escape the cries of people who died because of me and I've done that but now I'm in a different kind of pain.

My chest tightened.

I feel like I've lost more now. I kept remembering my family there. I clenched my fists.

"Does my real family really not remember me?" I asked.

"You mean your fake family." She corrected me, "You weren't their child to begin with. I just attached your soul to that still born and sealed your memories of this world so you'd grow up like a proper child."

"Why make them forget?" I looked at her with dead eyes, "I may not be the real soul of their daughter but we were a true family. I lived with them for twenty years."

"I mean, they're innocent people, they don't deserve that torture of losing someone solely because you messed your life up so bad, you had to live again for your redemption. " She smirked, "So obviously you don't exist there." She looked at me as she shook her head, "The pain is only yours to bear, because it's part of your redemption."

So now, I really am alone… I understood why the world was erasing memories of people now. Things were starting to make sense but…

I've got no one to really call my family here and it's so sad that it's actually funny that it's all my own fault.

If I was better, Leon and Enri might never have left me, Leroy wouldn't have died and Kaan wouldn't have killed me.

I took a deep breath.

If I was like how I am now from the start of my original life, I wonder how different my life would have been?

"We've changed things and you and I both have to pay the price for that." She took a deep breath, "But since we did it for the greater good. It won't be that harsh… Maybe not for you. Considering you've done a good job, perhaps you'll be let off easy. "

"How so?" I was looking out the big windows. The sky looked so clear outside, it was a beautiful day yet I felt so clouded inside.

"Well, you're still alive. Which probably means you don't have to die." She sighed, "You just need to be gone." She started taking her steps back, "Even in the original timeline, you didn't exactly die."

I looked at her in confusion, then it hit me, "Right, to actually die means the ascension of soul too."

"And I trapped your soul, it never ascended."

"But my body did die…"

"It did," She agreed, "You, Sorin Maximillain, Son of Cedric Maximillain, The king of the Maximillian empire, indeed did die."

"Huh," I scoffed a laugh at her words as I understood what she meant, "Really? That will work?" I asked her and She nodded.

"Well, Mark my words, if you don't leave on your own. You'll be forced to." She turned around and began to walk towards the door, "And that can mean anything." She paused and gave me a glance, "Most likely, death. This time your soul too."

I have to leave everything behind?

Be all alone again?

I looked at her in despair, "Where?" I felt like I didn't have the energy to speak anymore and even though I didn't want to, a few tears came out nonetheless. I felt like I was in anguish.

"There is a place for people like you. Somewhere far away. Where only people like you are allowed to live. You don't belong on that throne." She gave me one final look as she reached the door and even though I couldn't see her eyes, I could tell she was glaring at me, "In fact, you don't belong in the palace either. Do your part and leave on your own before you're forced to by nature itself." The door opened for her, "And I'll pay for what's there for me."

When she left, I was left all alone in the huge room. Reality began to dawn upon me once again. Nature itself looked so cruel to me that I ended up breaking out even though I wanted to keep it in. I gritted my teeth as tears flowed down my cheeks like a stream.

I felt like an idiot.

I felt so broken.

I felt so deserted and abandoned. I sunk into the floor as I hit the carpet with my fists as I cried my heart out.

Was there really no happiness for me?