It wasn't the first time that Alba had considered using her special weapon's power. The great power that would double her overall strength if used. She had thought about it when meeting the Deleter with the iron helmet.
The truth was though, she had hesitated to use it, and she knew the reason why. She was scared, scared of what the effect of the Curse would entail to her. The effects, the unknown, and not having it be a consistent thing.
It deeply frightened her, and more so than she thought. Every time when she thought about using it, she could feel all the cells in her body shaking, fighting, and pleading her to not use the effect of the weapon.
So this time, when she charged forward with the plan to use the effect of the sword again, she needed to think what was different. Her body was still trembling, her mind, her heart, every ounce of her didn't want to go through what she was about to do.