Chapter 2 - MEANING OF 'LIFE' AND 'RUDRA'

RUDRA POV

As the sun was setting down in the west Rudra came to sit beside his grandmother on the stairs on the yard of the house; seeing the forlorn look on his face and couldn't help but ask, "What got you feeling so down?"

"Amma (grandma), what should I do now with my life? It feels directionless and empty inside." I finally asked the question that had been eating me up, leaving me feeling hollowed.

"Why? What happened, my child?" She asked as she focused her gaze on him.

"I feel no motivation in my life. I realized it was the rage that kept me going... but now, I feel like I lost my purpose and I don't know what to do?" 

She smiled at me, like what she heard was the best news of the day, and said, "It is a good thing you are no longer blinded by rage." 

"You see, my child, revenge should be no good purpose of life. You can have justice, vengeance, or retribution on those that harm you, but do not make that the purpose of your life."

 "Because if you live your life guided by thoughts of harming others, you will fail to see the most beautiful thing in life." she said as she looked away into the distance watching the sun set on the horizon.

"And what is that?" I asked looking at my grandmother's visage basked in the sunlight.

"Life, my child;" she said with a smile and continued,

"It is better to live to protect something than destroy something else because dharma says that one who protects is always eminent than the one who destroys." 

"I know, I know, non-violence and all that, I have been preached a lot these last two years." I said interrupting her because it is true that I have been preached a lot last two years because of my initial tendency to resot to force because of my anger issues, and if you are wondering I fought with other children who were around.

"No, my child, you still do not understand what the Gurus(teachers) were saying, they taught you to discourage senseless violence and and its use for opression. The Bhagvad Geeta(Indian philosophy and storybook) tells us that non-violence is the greatest moral law, but violence used to protect innocents and righteousness is always surpasses and is more eminent than non-violence." she said as she imparted her teachings.

Her words gave me a lot of food for thought and as I pondered over her words, she asked me, "Do you know who named you 'Rudra'?" 

"My mother told me it was you who named me." I replied to her breaking out of my reverie.

"Do you know why?" she asked.

"It was according to astrology or something, I think" I said as I delved into my memories of what my parents told me.

Grandma smile neither affirming nor denying my words she questioned

"Do you know what it means?"

Though her question sounded awfully random, I answered dutifully with what I knew or believed, "It's some kind of fruit or seed which is made into prayer beads and lockets?" 

 And surprisingly or not, I was wrong and in that correction so I came to know the meaning of my name.

Looking at me with an expression that was a mix of doting and chiding my grandmother answered correcting my lack of knowledge

"No, what you are talking about is Rudraksha. You see, the word Rudra in our culture is the name that belongs to an avatar of lord Shiva. The word Rudra itself means the 'The Fierce one' or 'The Howler/Roarer' The Rudra avatar of Lord Shiva is mostly associated with , storms, upheaval, might, fearsomeness, and righteous wrath; yet despite all those destructive aspects he is also associated with healing and renewal."

I listened attentively to her and though that sounds great and all, it didn't really answer the question and so I couldn't help but prod, "That is kind of amazing, but why 'Rudra' of all names?" 

"You see, names have power and purpose in our culture. We make this thing called kundli(life chart) of a person, made according to the time of birth and other factors;" said Grandma as she continued

"The 'Kundli' In association with the time of birth calculates the position of celestial bodies and the alignment of the stars, which gives us hints about the life trajectory of a person.

And we name them according to the letters derived with conjunction to this chart. I am one of the best chart readers here, so your name was derived by me from your life chart."

"But how does that answer my question?" I asked pushing her to answer.

"You are asking for your purpose in life, my child and life does not give answers. It gives challenges for you to overcome. Should you succeed, you find your purpose in life. You fail and you may find purpose from it too or maybe not, because many times all failure gives us is defeat, or worse. And as your name dictates, you will face upheaval in your life. For that, you shall prepare, and pack your bags; we will be leaving tomorrow." she ordered seemingly as if she had made up her mind about someting after saying what she wanted, she got up and left me alone with my thoughts.

I looked at the setting sun immered in my own drifting mind contemplating all my newfound knowledge about myself, but I didn't know it was just the kickstart to the beginning of what was to come.

(AN - And so it begins.)