Chapter Fifteen

Entry: 

How to never stop being sad:

-  Hate yourself and every fiber of your being

-  Believe you're always in the wrong

-  Journal, and read your pain

-  Isolate yourself mentally and physically

-  Stay awake at night suffocating from your own thoughts

-  Pretend you're okay when you know you're not

-  Watch people around you be happy

-  Remember: you will always be this way

Note: it's only forever, suck it up. 

Phoenix

--

Heels clicking echoed down the meeting room and through the long halls. 

Tap, tap, tap. 

While passing through the library, Phoenix couldn't help but wonder if the Prince lingered there; she stuck her tongue out in annoyance. The castle passed in a blur of beige and staring portraits as she hiked out towards the garden for her walk with Isla. 

The last thing Phoenix wanted to do was this walk, but now that she knew the name Burning Stone, and maybe, maybe, Isla would have some information. That, and Phoenix really did want to know if last night was okay. After long strides and heavy breaths under the rising sun, Phoenix arrived at the gardens, looking as vibrant and colorful as usual. 

No, Phoenix wasn't colorful, the gardens were. Phoenix looked mad and determined as usual. 

Isla was easy to spot among the other ladies. Her dark hair was tied in a tight bun with a single, long curl spilling over her shoulder. Her dress puffed out like a cloud, and the sleeves fell off her shoulders, exposing her dark skin and beautiful freckles. 

"How was last night?" Phoenix asked to kick off their walk.

"Everything went smoothly!" Isla recalled excitedly. "I've already received three marriage proposals today! News sure does fly fast." 

"Did you accept any of them?"

"Don't be silly, Phoenix. Of course not! I'm waiting for a wealthier man to ask me."

"Of course," Phoenix sighed distantly. Why was wealth a factor of good candidacy in marriage? Take Greyson, for example, he wasn't wealthy in any means. Phoenix mentally slapped herself for even suggesting the shadow of that idea. 

"At first I was nervous. What if I screwed up? But when I arrived he…" Isla continued a monologue that Phoenix promptly tuned out. 

Then again, it felt as though Greyson had always been a part of the family. He didn't keep secrets like the royal family. Where the Prince was rude, Greyson was so kind and grateful. Where the Prince teased and pestered, Greyson listened and spent quality time with her family. 

"Are you even listening?" Isla turned to her as they walked by the rose bushes.

"Hmm?" Phoenix asked, snapping out of her daze.

A devilish smile came on Isla's face. "Who's got you so distracted?" 

"No one! Continue about the Prince."

"I know what that sigh means. Who?" she pushed.

  Phoenix didn't want to talk about Greyson behind his back. No, that wasn't right. Phoenix didn't want to be like Isla- all gushy and fawning over men. 

Instead, Phoenix asked, "Have you ever heard of Burning Stone?"

"Burning Stone," Isla repeated, placing her hands on her soft round face in thought. Phoenix was grateful Isla allowed the clear subject change. "It sounds familiar, but I can't quite place it with anything."

Phoenix took a second to appreciate that the Prince didn't show up to their walk. 

"I know!" Isla announced, clapping her hands together in joy and bringing Phoenix's eyes back on her. 

"You do?" Phoenix asked in disbelief.

Isla hummed a little before reciting: 

"Serva, Serva sat on stone

He sat on a stone the whole day long

Serva, Serva sat on stone

He sat on stone till day had come

Serva, Serva got his own

Got his own Burning Stone." 

"What?" Phoenix asked. 

"It's an old nursery rhyme we played as kids when I lived in the Highlands," Isla explained. "A group of people would sit in a circle, and one kid would be in the middle. We all sing the song as the circle passes an object behind their backs. When the song stops, the kid in the middle guesses who has the 'Burning Stone.' If they guess right, then they switch with the person holding the object. If not, they stay in the middle for another round."

"A nursery rhyme? Do you know if Serva is real?" Phoenix pushed.

"I've only ever heard of them in this song, I have no idea."

Phoenix had Isla repeat the catchy tune one more time so she could memorize it. 

A few ladies they passed loudly gossiped about Isla and whatever their version of last night's story was. Eventually, after an eternity of privileged melodrama, the walk ended in its usual place: just out of the rose portion of the garden, where rose bushes gave way to trimmed grass. 

Phoenix had a lead on the Burning Stone. 

Her shoes eagerly marched across the grass. See Greyson, find Greyson, talk to Greyson. He was the skeptical one, he was the one Phoenix should talk to wrap her head around everything. 

With a bounce in her step, she made to the barracks. She found Greyson there, in the training room, completely his pushups with heavy breathing. 

"Looking good," Phoenix teased. 

  Greyson collapsed onto the floor and rolled onto his back. Phoenix held out a hand and yanked him onto his feet. 

"How are you?" Phoenix asked eagerly as he caught his breath. 

He gave her a look and a soft smile, "Better now."

A small laugh of disbelief escaped her parted lips. 

"How was the earthquake last night?" she asked. 

"What earthquake?"

Phoenix felt her head tick to the side. "The one that made the earth… quake?"

"I must have slept through it."

They both moved from the center of the room to the side, sliding down a wall until their bodies sat side-by-side on the floor. A small crack of space separated them. 

"How about we talk about it over a lunch?" Greyson offered.

"I have to eat breakfast with my family." 

"Oh. You sure eat breakfast late," he muttered in defeat.

"Yeah, both Daisy and Cole don't care about starting the day at a decent hour. Anyway, if you're hungry then I'll just see you there," she said.

With the stupidest smile across his face Greyson asked, "You mean it, Bird?" 

"Yeah. I've never seen Cole warm up to someone as quickly as he did with you."

"That's warm? He seemed so annoyed," Greyson remembered with a chuckle.

"Trust me, he likes you. After you get changed, come eat breakfast with us."

"Thanks, that'll be nice." 

Phoenix put her hand on his shoulder. Wow, his arm was sturdy.

"Did you finish all your pushups?" she asked, not moving her hand away.

"Half of them," he answered, his eyes curiously gazing at her hand on his arm.

Phoenix's cheeks tugged upward at his open confusion. It was cute to see such a strong-willed man appear soft and unsure. She turned in her sitting position so they faced each other. 

"We train tonight. Finish those pushups," she warned playfully. 

He nodded and put his hand over hers, which was still on his shoulder. Phoenix's smile widened at his touch. 

"Thanks, Bird." he earnestly told her.

So close. Hand over hers, warm, eyes searching her face, breath held tight. 

They remained like that for a second before she leaned in close enough that their breath mingled. Her eyes dipped to his lips. Lingered. Just go for it, go for it, right here, right now.

Greyson hoisted himself up onto his feet and Phoenix coughed into her hand. Right, breathe, the chance will come again. 

"I'll meet you at the castle," he said, "I need to change."

"Right, change, you do that."

He left her there, just like that.

Phoenix glanced at her hand and swore his warmth lingered where his skin had touched hers. Smiling to herself then cursed for standing there like an idiot.

She rushed out of the barracks, a stupid smile on her face and eyes to the sky.

But wait, there! Yes, the gardens, she should search for some people there. It was prime time for court members' walks. Phoenix marched through the roses and paused at the fountains, scanning faces. It wasn't until she reached the end that she spotted him, William Decker. He was walking alone, dressed in a black suit, and leaning heavily against a cane. 

Phoenix weaved her way around everyone else until she was just behind him.

"Mr. Decker?" she asked.

William turned and looked at Phoenix curiously.

"That would be me. And you are?"

"My name is Phoenix. I was just walking the other day with a friend, and she mentioned you. I just wanted to ask you something."

William nodded for her to continue.

"Why did you never marry?"

William let out a low, rough chuckle. "You're one of many to ask me that," he sighed and clenched his fist tighter around his cane. "When you are in love, and love with everything you have, that love grips you and never sets you free."

"Are you talking about how the Queen left you at the alter?"

"Back when I knew her, she was just Amelia. Now, she is a vile woman. She turned her back on our love for status, tossing me aside like a toy she got bored of. To me, the woman I loved died."

Phoenix studied the man before her. He was glaring at Phoenix and practically spitting the words out. His hands gripped his cane so hard she was afraid he would fall right over in his rage. 

"Sorry to hear that, Mr. Decker. So, you have no more feelings towards the Queen?"

William then let out a sigh that sounded as though he had been holding his stress in for generations.

"You are the first person to ask me that. She never actually left me at the altar, we never made it that far. They ask what I think of her, and they assume I hate her because of what she did to me. It's the opposite. I never married because it felt a betrayal to the woman I loved, even though she had no hesitation to discard me."

William confirmed Isla's gossip was exaggerated. Phoenix's heart sank- maybe she was a little too quick to pin down suspects. 

"Do you know anything of Mr. Fairchild or Mrs. Waters?" Phoenix asked. 

William shook his head. "Those are two hateful people, you best not go talking to them. They don't know what love is. Corton never leaves his room anymore, there's no way to see him. Lila is always with that child of hers, and she hates being disturbed."

"Thank you for your time, Mr. Decker," Phoenix said.

"Always. Thank you for listening to the ramblings of an older gentleman."

Phoenix smiled politely and turned to leave. Something was certain: William loved Queen Amelia, and it felt like that love overpowered his hate for what she had done to him. As Phoenix marched back to the castle, her conversations from today followed her like the shadows clinging to her feet. 

She turned them in her mind, flipping ideas and connecting thoughts. William made it seem as though going up and talking with Corton or Lila would ask for more trouble than lead to answers. Did Phoenix pursue the court, or the Royal family's secrets?

One thing was for sure- Phoenix had to talk to her family. 

#

"Burning Stone? I've never heard of it." Cole stabbed a piece of fruit and scooped it into his mouth. 

Phoenix frowned. Her mission for the day was to learn more about the Burning Stone, but none of her family had heard of it. Breakfast started twenty minutes ago once Greyson arrived. Everyone sat in their regular seats except Greyson sat next to Phoenix instead of Cole (who promptly scowled at his fruit bowl). If anyone was surprised Phoenix invited Greyson to eat, they didn't show it. 

"Neither have I," Greyson added.

"Odd," Phoenix thought aloud, "and then there's that earthquake."

"From what you described, you guys were hit way harder than the people." Greyson cut a small slice of bread and spread jam on it.

"How is that even possible?" Daisy asked.

"Maybe it wasn't that strong of a shock, it was just really centralized in an area close to us, so we felt it the most," Cole thought aloud.

"That's what I was thinking," Lucas obviously lied. 

He usually did that when he wanted to be included in the conversation. Phoenix smiled at the young boy and sipped on her hot water. 

"But earthquakes don't do that. They have a much bigger radius than a few rooms in a castle," Greyson said.

"Then it wasn't an earthquake," Cole concluded, forgetting his food and looking at Greyson, waiting for the counterpoint.

"Then what could have created that shock?" Greyson put his own breakfast down.

"And how does this connect to the conversation Phoenix overheard?" Cole added.

"Maybe it doesn't connect, I still think it's random," Greyson said. 

"Maybe we can take a minute to enjoy this delicious food," Daisy interrupted Cole and Greyson. 

They both looked at her in surprise. 

"What? Forgot others were here? Getting caught up in each other's eyes?" Daisy teased.

Cole frowned at her and Greyson looked at Phoenix with a blush. Cute. 

"When will you play with me?" Lucas tugged the hem of Greyson's shirt for his attention.

"He's already taking me to the Highlands today," Daisy chimed.

Greyson shot her a curious look, "I am?" 

"I think talking about what's happening in this castle is more important," Cole cut in.

Phoenix agreed with Cole. More than anything, they needed to figure out what was happening with the Queen. Greyson stared nervously as the family fought over him. 

Cole was really breaking out of his shell with Greyson around, perhaps having another guy his age was good for him. Daisy seemed passionate about meeting people in the Highlands, and Lucas was really wanted Greyson to play with him, so the fight didn't show signs of letting up. Phoenix laughed to herself at how Greyson had managed to infiltrate her family so quickly.

Upon hearing her laughter, the family stopped bickering and stared at Phoenix in confusion, wide eyes. Seeing their heads turn made her belly bounce even more. 

After a minute she wiped the tears forming in her eyes and told them all, "Sorry, I just couldn't help myself."

"Are you okay, Bird?" Greyson voiced in genuine concern. 

"I'm just laughing, I'm fine. You should be more worried about what you're going to do today with all my siblings' requests."

With that Cole, Daisy, and Lucas all looked to Greyson for his decision.

"How about we all go into town to the Highlands? Show Daisy around, play with Lucas in a park, while Cole and I talk along the way. How does that sound?" Greyson suggested, ever the people pleaser.

"A family outing?" Cole asked.

Phoenix thought about it for a second. She remembered Isla's rhyme, and what Isla said- it was a child's game. Phoenix's eyes slipped to Lucas. Lucas said that there wasn't anyone his age here, but there were kids at the Highlands. 

"Sounds perfect," Phoenix assured Greyson. "We leave in a half hour." 

"Yes!" Daisy and Lucas sang together, high fiving. 

Daisy bolted from the table and exclaimed the absolute necessity for her to get ready. Caught up with her energy, Lucas followed Daisy to her room. 

With a new anticipation simmering, everyone else broke from the table and left the kitchen. Cole disappeared to his room and Phoenix walked Greyson back to the barracks.

  As Greyson and her stepped outside the castle, a wave of happiness pepped her step. And there, the way the grass danced in the wind, or how the sun was bright but not too hot. Happiness turned to confidence. Phoenix brushed her hands against Greyson's and gently laced their fingers together. 

All walking came to an immediate stop, and a look of confusion wrinkled Greyson's brow. 

"Thank you," she earnestly told him, giving a small squeeze in emphasis.

"It was nothing."

"It wasn't nothing," Phoenix assured. "I have never seen everyone so excited about something, or so attached to someone outside the family. They're growing because of you. Thank you."

Without responding, Greyson released her hand and let his head drop to the ground.

"Greyson?" 

When he looked up he had tears in his eyes. Phoenix stumbled back in shock; Greyson reached out and yanked her into a tight hug. At first she was surprised, Greyson never initiated touch, but then she wrapped her arms around him- his warmth embraced her and his tears got her dress wet.

"You're pulling me up," he whispered in her ear between breaking breaths. 

"What?" Phoenix asked. 

"You're making me feel good again. Like I belong."

She let out a scoff in disbelief. "Of course you belong."

"Bird, stop talking. Just let me thank you."

Her heart sped up and she nodded, resting her head on his shoulder. He started to play with loose her hair, looping it between his fingers, brushing out non-existent tangles.

Greyson broke first. "We leave in an hour and a half. You need to change into something more functional."

"I'd rather stay here." Phoenix closed her eyes and took a deep, content, breath in. 

He pulled away from her and she was overwhelmed with the urge to reach out for him again.

"Bird, go," he laughed gently. "I'll see you soon." 

He smiled at her small pout before turning away towards the barracks. Phoenix watched his figure become smaller. 

He didn't look back. 

Greyson did more than fit in, he belonged with the family. Once Phoenix was in her room, she changed into comfortable pants and shoes that she could walk in. She slipped out of her room and went to the kitchen were her family awaited her. 

Everyone appeared just as eager as her. Daisy brushed invisible dirt off her nicest gown. Cole combed out Lucas's hair and Greyson caught up with them. They looked up to Phoenix at the same time, eager, excited, hopeful. Maybe, Phoenix could find something out about the Burning Stone. Maybe, her family would forget their troubles for a day and enjoy themselves.

Phoenix smiled at all of them. 

"Family, to the Highlands!"