Chapter One

The wind's touch on her skin was icy, but there was uncomfortable heat spreading up her back. Alarms went off everywhere in her brain and she begged for it all to be over. She wanted to be anywhere else, but right now, it wasn't a choice she had. So she stood rooted to the ground before those raging eyes, arms covering her bare chest.

"Go on," her mother ordered.

Ria tugged on the hem of her skirt and pulled it down her lower length, making sure to take along with it her panties. It slid down to her ankles and she stepped out of it, her feet still in white socks. Her legs trembled as she stood before her mother and tears poured from her eyes.

Christ, please let this all be over. I can't take this anymore.

The air conditioner blew cold air onto Ria's bare skin. She shivered a little, and her hands rubbed up and down on her upper arms roughly. She begged and begged in her mind, unable to form the words to her mother because she wasn't sure how she would react. Instead, her eyes darted everywhere, and she stared at the dates on the calendar.

It was getting more and more frequent now.

More tears fell from her eyes as her mother opened the door to the fridge and removed a beer bottle. Pulling a chair before her and sitting down on it, she downed the alcohol slowly, making sure to run her eyes up and down her daughter's body. Why she did that, Ria believed was solely due to an effort at psychological manipulation. After her mother finished her drink, she waved the glass bottle about in the air before she stared into the tiny hole at the top.

"Have you ever wondered if this would fit?" her mother asked her with a warm smile.

"Mama," Ria begged. "Please, no."

"You're a good girl," her mother said. "Good girls listen to their mothers, don't they?"

"Mama, I love you but please, please - "

"Get on the ground. And spread your legs."

She held her hands up together in the air. "Please, please, please. No!"

Her mother raised the beer bottle and gestured with it towards the kitchen counter. "Do you want this broken? Or not? You choose."

Ria paused in fear. Would she actually break the top and do what she knew she wanted to do? Cold sweat collected at the base of her neck, and she promised to herself to never, ever say again that her life was miserable. She would treasure every fucking second where this hell wasn't her present moment.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, this can't be happening!

"Ria," her mother said. "I said, on the floor. Legs spread."

"Mama, I'll do what you always wanted, what we always did," Ria said, cheeks shining with tears. "I'll use a vibrator on you and then - "

"RIA!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Ria cried out as she held her palms over her ears, her knees buckling towards the ground. She put her knees on the chilly flooring before she sat down on it, her legs firmly closed.

"Let's see," her mother said, removing something from her pocket. "I always wanted to try this." Ria couldn't see what was in her hands clearly. She wiped her tears away and her eyes focused on the object.

It was a lighter.

Her mother lit up and held the flame over the glass rim of the beer bottle until it darkened slightly. Ria's body shook in fear as she watched the hunger in her mother's eyes bloom.

"I want your legs spread. I don't want to have to tell you this again, or I'll fucking break the bottle," her mother said with a chuckle.

"Please…" Ria said and her mother raised the beer bottle with the darkened rim over the kitchen counter.

Please, I can't take this anymore.

Ria parted her legs slowly as her mother left the chair to fit herself between her legs, the beer bottle hovering over her opening, eyes lit up with a wild look. And for the 102th time, she closed her eyes and pretended to be unconscious for the entire ordeal.

❃❃❃

Her heart thudded loudly in her chest as she heard footsteps picking up behind her. Before she could turn around and look, a student shoved against her arm, speeding past her down the overhead bridge to the stairs on the other side. Ria pulled her cardigan closer to her neck although it was already covering half of it, and she repeated a calming mantra to herself.

You're okay. You're okay. You're okay.

Why did she feel like she was being violated just from a simple shove? It wasn't even intentional, but she felt like she was being attacked right where she stood. She willed the cold fire shooting across her back away as she made her way down the staircase, straight into campus.

When she entered her school, the empty halls made an instant impression on her. Where were all the students? She passed rows and rows of lockers devoid of people using them, watching closely as students shot from behind her down the hallway to round the corner to another corridor. She followed them and when she reached the beginning of the corridor, it struck her.

Today was exam release day. The students crowded around the scoreboard, whispering loudly, some jumping for joy while others cried in the corner. Ria neared the board but she already knew what she would see. There was only one reason why she forgot about exam release day, and that was because the results were the same on the scoreboard every single time. Her name would be on top, and this time wouldn't be any different.

Ria stood behind the horde of students, and tried to tip toe to see the scoreboard. Why was she even bothering to check? She ranked first ever since she joined the school. Some students turned around to look at her, hands covering their mouths.

"I'm so sorry, Ria!"

What? "Why are you apologising?" Ria asked the student and more of them turned around to stare at her. Gradually, they parted and the scoreboard came into focus for her.

She was second.

Ria stared at the number beside her name. Second?! This was inexcusable. How could she place second? If her mother ever found out, there would only be Hell for her! She always used her results to boast to her peers, and Ria knew her mother cared a whole lot about saving face. If she wasn't happy, then there was no chance she would be able to survive another horrible night. She looked up to the first position, staring at the name of the person who overtook her.

Lawson.

He had overtaken her by a decimal point! Ria gritted her teeth as she wracked her brain over who this Lawson could possibly be. She knew almost everybody at school but she never heard about a Lawson. She stared at the scoreboard in horror as more students whispered around her.

"There he is!" one student called out before running past.

Ria turned to the side. Surrounded by several students was a tall boy who towered above them, answering their questions slowly with a calm voice. The students fawned over him, asking him how he did it over one another. She watched as he replied their questions, but she noticed that he wasn't looking at any of them as he spoke.

He was looking at her.

His pale eyes stared at her, into her. She felt the hairs on her arms raise as his eyes locked onto her, but for the first time ever, she did not feel uncomfortable. Usually, she would feel naked from such an intense look, but this time, her breath came to her normally. She returned his stare as her mind loosened and her muscles relaxed. Only one thought pervaded her mind.

She felt utterly safe in every way.