Frustrated

A hard body is pressed against me, hot breaths are on my neck, and a firm piece of temptation is touching the inside of my thigh. My eyes go wide in the bed, and I realize Kade is almost on top of me, holding me to him, and wrapping me up like I'm his.

His soft, dark hair is against my chin, and I lick my dry lips as I try to ignore the fact he's aroused in his sleep. I should probably move out from under him, but after the hellacious night of dreams I've had about him, it's hard not to put his morning arousal to use.

He stirs lightly, tightening his hold on me as he breathes in deep. His knee comes up to press against the spot I never imagined he'd touch. Frustration grabs me and shakes me with an agonizing tug. It's been so long since a guy has made me feel anything like this. Even though the sex with Jeremy wasn't great, it was sure as hell exciting to lead up to it.

He mutters something in his sleep, though I don't know what, and then his hand slides up to grab my left breast in a groping motion. A pathetic moan slips through my lips, and I mentally slap myself.

Heat floods between my thighs, and a forgotten ache comes back with a vengeance. This isn't good. This isn't good at all.

"Christ," he gasps, jarring me out of all my fantasies.

He scrambles back, releasing me from his delicious clutches, and leaves me with that damn ache that now refuses to leave.

"Shit, Raya. I'm sorry," he grumbles while wiping his eyes and rubbing his head.

I sit up, praying I'm not as red as I feel, and I shrug, pretending as though I just woke up.

"Sorry for?" I ask, doing all I can to keep this from being awkward. "I just woke up."

He breathes out heavily while getting up from the bed. "Never mind. I need to grab a shower. You good?"

Hell no, I'm not good. That's a terrible word to describe me right now.

"Yeah," I drawl out, feigning a yawn. "Maybe Ember has left my room. I'd like a shower, too."

He tenses up, which is odd. "If she's not, then just come back down. You can use my shower when I'm done."

Images of me climbing in the shower with him attack my already scandalous mind. Stop it, Raya!

"You okay?" I ask.

Shit. It must have really pissed him off to be touching me. I'd find it offensive, but I'm starting to understand his way of thinking. I'd ruin his reputation in the business world, considering I come from nothing. And he doesn't even know about my father's scandals that would really destroy his pretty name.

A washing sense of disappointment cloaks me, almost drowning me with severe realizations. I have to stop thinking about him like this. I'm the daughter of a conman. It would ruin him if people thought we were really together. I have to squash those rumors if he's ever going to be anything in a world full of socialites who judge so harshly.

"Yeah. I'm fine," he finally says through a sigh, but I've already left the bed and have almost reached the door.

I don't acknowledge his words. I don't know why this suddenly bothers me so much. Maybe it's because, even though I kept telling myself no, I kept hoping something might could happen. It can't though. If anyone ever found out I belong to Ray Drivel, my name would destroy Kade and his future. No one would trust anyone connected to Ray.

I almost run up the stairs to my room. Ember's ass had better be out. When I open the door to see the bed made, deceitfully seeming clean and pretty, I sigh in relief. It's then the first tear falls from my eyes.

I moved out here to get away from my past, only to learn there's no chance of ever having a better life because of it. I can work like hell to redeem my name, but I'll always be linked to the notorious man. They won't care what an incredible, loving father he is. It'll only matter what he once did.

A tiny knock at the door makes me flinch, but I steady myself before answering. "Yeah?"

"Raya?" Kade says as he steps in, seeming uncomfortable.

He's still freaked out about this morning. "Yeah," I murmur again, moving my eyes back down to the book I'm not really reading.

I've been on the same page for over an hour. My mind is too busy to make room for reading. I've been sorting through the numerous ways to squash this rumor about Kade and me.

"You okay? You haven't come out of your room all day. Did... Is... Does this have anything to do with this morning?"

This morning when you freaked out for touching me? No. Never.

I almost roll my eyes at my mind's snide remark. "I don't know what you're talking about. I have to finish reading this for class. The only thing that happened this morning was you woke up and took a shower. Beyond that, nothing else happened."

I look up just as he pockets his hands. His eyes are on the floor, his body is rigid, and his lips are in a tight line.

"You... Look, I don't know why I was spiraled around you or why you're pretending you didn't notice, but we can't make this awkward. I apparently like the way you feel when I sleep. No big deal."

No big deal. Nice to know. It was a huge deal to me.

"Kade, I really do have to read this. As for you liking the way I feel when you sleep, I honestly have no idea what you're talking about."

I grin up at him, praying he doesn't see how forced it is. He relaxes a little, and then comes to flop down on my bed beside me. I wish he'd just leave.

"New sheets?" he asks, smiling at the bed dressed anew.

Fortunately, Kade has tons of freshly packaged sheets in the hall closet.

"Two strangers were in my bed, so yes. New bedding all around."

He frowns, almost as if he's confused. "It wasn't Ember in here?"

"Ember is still a stranger. I just met her Friday. I only invited her because she's one of the few people I've met that wasn't making fun of me."

He breathes out heavily and pulls his phone out of his pocket. "You're different today."

My phone buzzes on the table beside me, and I answer as I reach over to get it. "I'm just exhausted. Someone made me go to this party until early this morning."

He smiles as I check the message on my phone. An involuntary grin spreads when I see the message is from Kade, who really did program his number into my phone.

It's a picture of me in my skimpy white dress while I'm on the dance floor with Ember.

"That party had you smiling, so it couldn't have been too bad. I thought you might want a reminder about what fun looks like, in case you forget sometime soon."

"Thanks," I chuckle out.

"Better. Hungry? You've been hiding all day, so I assume you've got to be starving."

"I ate some of my tuna earlier. I have a few cans up here."

He turns his nose up, which makes me chuckle in response.

"That's disgusting. I'm actually getting so used to the smell that I didn't even notice it. Why the hell do you eat so much tuna? It can't possibly be that good."

I roll my eyes, still smiling, and then I turn my attention back to the book. "It's that cheap."

The bed shifts when he moves, and I look up to see him almost scowling at me. What the hell did I do?

"Wait. You're eating that shit because you don't have money or something?"

That's embarrassing. Why did I even say anything?

"No. I've got some money, but food is just food. It's something that goes in your stomach to keep you alive. I'm not going to spend massive amounts of money on something just to enjoy it for a few minutes."

I don't have hardly any money, but I won't tell him that. I'm sick of being a charity case.

"Hell no," he growls.

He pulls me up by my arm and hoists me out of the bed. "What the hell, Kade?" I ask, shocked.

"Have you seen the pantry? There's more shit in there than anyone can eat, and you're choking down that vile shit because you need to save cash? That's a little insulting, Raya. Go find something that you want to eat."

I laugh lightly while shaking my head. "Kade, believe it or not, it's not vile. I grew up on tuna in a can. It's what us lower class citizens do."

He takes a deep breath and slows down on the stairs, still dragging me behind him. "Promise me you'll start acting like you live here, too."

He turns to face me, and my heartbeat quickens. There's that look - that depth of sincerity I never thought he could possess. He's making it hard not to throw myself at him.

"I promise."

"Good." He lets go of my hand and starts walking down the steps again. "Dad called and wants you to come to a charity event next weekend at his house. You game?"

I swallow hard and start following him again. "Me? Why?"

Because I'm a charity case?

"Because he likes you," he says with a shrug. "Take it as a compliment. He doesn't like many people."

"That would be... weird, wouldn't it? Me at some ritzy function meant for people like you. I'll probably pass, but tell Mr. Colton thank you for me."

I start to turn around, but he speaks before I can. "First of all, people like you? You mean people that don't wipe their asses with money? I can assure you my father prefers people like you, since he used to be one of you. Secondly, you'll fit in just fine, and I'll be there. It's not like you'll be in the trenches alone. Come on. Don't make me go deal with all the rich people kissing my father's ass by myself."

It's almost comical to think the man who came from nothing is one of the most prominent men in Sterling Shore.

"You sure?" I ask, probing for some sort of promise he wants me there.

"Positive. I'll drive you back to the store to get a dress. You'll need something nice."

"There're a ton of dresses in there, thanks to you tossing half the store on the counter."

"Not good enough. You need something a little more flashy. It's one of those parties. If you feel like it, we'll go right now."

I can't let his dad buy me another dress. It already feels wrong to have accepted as much as I have. Taking any more will just feel greedy.

"Um... I don't care to wear one of the others. I'd rather wear one of the others, actually."

A small grins slides over his lips and he comes to pull my hand in his again. "Either you come with me to find you a dress, or I'll go alone. Are you sure you want to let this fall in my hands?"

I roll my eyes. He's not going to have it any other way. "I trust you," I say with a shrug, hoping I just called his bluff.

I turn around and rush back up the steps, ignoring his enigmatic chuckles. He's bluffing. He doesn't even know my size. Those girls see hundreds of people a day. There's no way they'll remember.