The game

"Hey!" Mac calls as she comes to our car. She climbs into the backseat next to Leah. "Hi Mac," I say as Jake pulls out of the driveway and onto the road. Almost immediately Mac starts rambling about one thing or another. Jake seems annoyed, which is fine with me right now. But I'd spent enough time with Mac that I'm used to her seemingly senseless talk. And for most of the ride that's the only sound we hear.

When we are almost there Leah starts squirming. "Almost there sweetheart," I call to the child. Mac takes this as an opportunity to play with her a little and Leah seems to settle slightly. Jake pulls into the parking lot and we unload. I pick up Leah and we head for the field. Mac and I get the four of us in, luckily we were so early they weren't really paying attention to who was coming in. Mac and I dropped off our bags and started stretching. We kept a close eye on Leah while Jake went to get some food.

"How are you planning on keeping this quiet? Don't you know it's going to get out?" Mac asks me as she bends over her leg. I pause to think about it, I hadn't really given much thought into the how. I only know that I want it to stay quiet. This is something I really need to think through, I just haven't had the chance to yet. Finally I have an answer. "It won't get out if the few who know the details don't let it get out." I tell her giving her a pointed look. Mac laughs slightly, "Yeah, that'll fly honey."

"Mac I'm serious. I want to do this on my own. I don't want my parents help. And I don't want this to turn into school gossip. You know what happened last time I got stuck in the center of attention. I'm still recovering from that." She nods sadly knowing she was partly to blame for some of the discomfort on my end. But I had gotten over the wounds and scars no matter how much people wanted to make it worse or reopen those wounds. I'd gotten a lot tougher in the past year. "Mac, you know people better than me. Can you try to keep this quiet? Please?" I try to gentle my tone knowing she was feeling guilty and not wanting to bring it up.

"I'll try Beck." Mac glances up at me nervously. I smile at her and bend over my leg, my other one tucked under me as I sit, and pull myself further down. "This is all nice, but where is your daughter Beck?" I look up at the sudden addition of Jake's voice. I glance behind him, Leah isn't there anymore. I turn my head to look at Mac. She smiles and I see a blond head and a tiny hand over her shoulder. "She's exactly there I left her." I tell Jake. "Now make yourself useful and push my back down would you?"

Jake looks at me. "Come on it's not like it's the weirdest thing I've ever asked you to do." He sighs and kneels down next to me and presses my lower back. "You don't have to go easy on me." I taunt him and I feel the pressure on my back increase. Finally I feel a good stretch. I hear a little giggle and I turn my head just in time to see Leah fall on her bum in front of me. I laugh a little. "Are you being silly?" I say in my baby voice. I'm rewarded with another giggle and a small nod. "You silly silly girl." I tell her and reach over and barely start to tickle her before she is overcome with giggles and rolls onto her back, reaching for her feet.

I hear footsteps and easily push against Jake's hands to prop myself up on my elbows. The coach is walking up the track to us. I smile at her and wave as Mac shows Jake how to push on my lower back and hips so j can still stretch while propped up. "You ladies are here early." Coach says. "Just wanted to get a head start." I tell her. She looks us over for a minute and puts her bags down. "Well everything seems to be fine. I'm just going to go get the pom bags, could you ladies watch my bags?" We agree and she heads back for her car.

Mac and I show Jake how to help us with our stretching and warmup while the rest of the team slowly starts to arrive. After some time I send Jake into the stands so he can get a seat before all the students arrive. "Get her some food would you? I'll join you in a bit." Jake nods and collects Leah from where she's playing with Mac and one of the other girls from the team.

After the game starts the dance team and I join the students in the stands. Jake meets me, carrying Leah, at the stairs for the stands. "She's not eating," he says annoyed, again. What a surprise. "Let me try," I say. He leads me behind the students and I sit with Leah on my lap. Jake gives me some food and I feed Leah with no problem. I give Jake a victorious smile and he scowls at me. After Leah is fed I hand her to Jake so I can eat. She isn't too pleased about being taken away from me.

Mac walks up and asks to hold her. Jake seems uneasy but I say it's okay, I know Mac better than he does. Besides I'm not letting Leah out of our sight so I'm not sure what his problem is. Mac squeals and picks up the irritated child from Jake's lap. After a minute Leah calms and Mac bounces the two of them and Leah giggles, obviously pleased with her new friend. "How old is she?" Mac asks. I swallow and answer, "Almost two years."

About ten minutes later Mac and I have to join the team for warmup before halftime. When we line up to run onto the field I look up to the stands and see Jake holding Leah right at the front. I smile and wave to them and they wave back, my family.

For our dance at halftime I perform how I always try to but always seemed to lack a driving force. I danced like no other night and was truly proud of what I had done as I ran off with the team towards the cheering fans. I start to gather my bags. "You leaving so soon Beck?" I hear a voice call from the stands. I don't bother to look up to see who it is. "I have to drop Jake and Leah off at home. I'm coming back to get Mac." And nobody questioned me, which was a nice change. Maybe some changes aren't as bad as others.