Chapter 91: Forbidden Thoughts (18+)

Yayoi

The next morning, I woke up to find Kai nestled against me, his face peaceful as he continued to sleep. One of his arms was flung over my waist, his fingers lightly grazing the fabric of my shirt. His breaths were slow and rhythmic, puffing out in soft sighs against my skin.

H-how did we get into this position?

My heart pounded in my chest, the sound deafening in the silence of the room. I could feel the heat of his body seeping through our clothes, setting my nerves on fire. I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly dry.

Slowly, carefully, I tried to disentangle myself from him without waking him up. But the moment I moved, Kai stirred, his grip on my waist tightening. He mumbled something incoherent, nuzzling his face further into my chest.

I froze, my breath hitching in my throat. I could feel his heartbeat against my own, a steady rhythm that mirrored mine. His hair tickled my chin, a soft mess of black curls that smelled faintly of the shampoo he'd used last night.

Worst of all, I found myself getting hard. Why was I getting hard over a guy? 

"Kai," I whispered, my voice hoarse. "Wake up."

He let out a soft groan, his eyelashes fluttering against my skin as he slowly opened his eyes. As he realized our position, his eyes widened, a deep blush spreading across his cheeks. He quickly pulled away, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

"S-sorry," he stammered, avoiding my gaze. "I didn't mean to..."

I shook my head, sitting up and stretching my arms. "It's fine," I said, my voice steadier than I felt. Hopefully, he hadn't noticed my boner. "Just... be aware of your surroundings next time, okay?"

He nodded, his cheeks still flushed. "Yeah, sorry. I'll... I'll be more careful." He sighed. "Ever since I was a kid, I've been had this tendency to snuggle up to things or people when sleeping. Think it's because Rena and I would hug even in the womb."

I blinked. "Is Rena the same?"

Kai chuckled. "Y-yeah. Well with her arms at least. Her legs, well you know."

I sighed. "Yeah, I do. Say, is the reason you decided to work because of her?"

He looked down. "Y-yeah. Her medical expenses have popped up, so..."

"I can help if you want."

He shook his head. "N-no! That would be asking for too much!"

I sat down in my bed and scoffed. "Rena is my only real friend, so I want to be there for her."

Kai smiled and hugged me. "Thank you, Yayoi! My sister is lucky to have you as a friend."

Ugh. Why did he have to hug me. Worse, why was my boner returning? Kai might've been Rena's brother, but he was still a guy.

"Alright, alright," I said, gently pushing him away. "Enough with the hugging."

Kai blinked, seeming to finally realize the awkwardness of the situation. "S-sorry!" he stammered, quickly pulling back.

I waved him off, trying to brush off the awkwardness. "It's fine. Just... let's keep some distance, okay?"

He nodded, looking relieved. "Okay!"

"That said, shouldn't you get going now?"

He nodded but gasped. "Wait, let me give you your shirt back." He lifted his shirt, revealing his slender figure and boyish chest.

I quickly turned away, my face heating up. "You can just keep it," I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

There was a pause, then I heard the rustle of fabric as he lowered the shirt. "Okay," he said, his voice soft. "I'll see you tomorrow, Yayoi."

I nodded, even though he couldn't see me. "Yeah, see you tomorrow, Kai."

I waited until I heard the door close behind him, then I let out a sigh of relief. I turned back around, my eyes landing on the right side of the bed. I could still see the faint outline of Kai's body in my mind, his smooth skin, his slender figure...

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. What was wrong with me? Why was I having such thoughts about a guy? I couldn't... I shouldn't be thinking of him like this. I wasn't gay. I liked girls, like his sister.

As I lay on my bed, my mind raced with conflicting thoughts and emotions. I tossed and turned, unable to shake off the images of Kai's slender figure and boyish charm. His smile, his laugh, the way he looked at me with those warm, understanding eyes. It was all too much, too overwhelming.

I couldn't deny the attraction I felt towards Kai, but it was so confusing and unexpected. I had never considered myself anything other than straight, and the idea of having feelings for a guy, especially the brother of the girl I liked felt like uncharted territory. Worse, it felt as if I was trading Rena for Kai. Even though, I knew Rena could never be mine as she liked Sekin, I didn't like this feeling. 

Standing up, I walked over to my desk and pulled out some adult mags. I stared at the pictures of scantily dressed women to remind myself of my sexuality.

I smiled as I flipped through the adult magazines, trying to distract myself from the confusing thoughts swirling in my mind. But as I continued, I felt weird. Like they weren't fulfilling anymore.

Sighing, I put them back and stared at an envelope of pictures Sekin had given me. I hadn't opened it yet.

As soon as I opened the envelop, I found myself smiling. They were pictures of the trip he had to the pool. Several of them were of Rena. My heart skipped several beats. She looked really cute in her swimsuit.

Odd, why was I more attracted to Rena than the models? They were much sexier than her. Yet... There was something about that smile of hers that made me feel warm inside. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I felt the same way with Kai. Especially when I looked at the pictures of him. The twins had slender figures that were cute, yet sexy. 

Was I a freak who was attracted to siblings? Or was it just something unique about their personalities that drew me in?

I sighed and shook my head. It was more than just their physical appearance that drew me to them. There was a genuine kindness and warmth in their eyes. It wasn't just about physical attraction; it was about the way they made me feel, the way they brought light and joy into my life.

I was in love with both of them. But how could that be? I sighed as I stared at Sekin. It was the same with him too. I-I was somehow attracted to both boys and girls.

Sekin's sister and him weren't far off when they questioned if I liked him. But, it was something I could never let be known. My feelings for any of them had to be torn asunder. They weren't meant for me.

I put away the pictures and threw them behind the desk. They were no good. All they did was remind me of what I couldn't have.

The rest of the day, I didn't go to the field. Instead, I stayed home, studying.

Mom peeked her head in. "How come you're not at the field, dear?"

I shrugged. "Not feeling like it today. Just studying."

She raised an eyebrow, looking suspicious. "Oh? Since when do you study?" She smiled. "I heard your dad hired a tutor for you. Is she cute?"

I sighed and lowered my head. "Mom, don't say stuff like that."

She walked in and sat beside me. "Then what's up? You're acting strange."

"I mean, my tutor is a guy. So, hearing that is kind of gross."

She smiled. "So, is he handsome?"

"Mom!"

She laughed and patted my back. "I'm just kidding. But seriously, what's up?"

I sighed, leaning back in my chair. "I... I don't know. I just feel weird lately."

Mom hummed. "Maybe it's puberty."

I frowned. "It's not like that, Mom. Plus, I already went through puberty."

She ruffled my hair. "Are you worried about school? Maybe you're having problems with your classmates again?"

I shook my head. "It's not that, either."

She tilted her head. "Then what is it?"

I looked away, unable to meet her gaze. "Mom, if one of my siblings ever came out to you as gay, would you still love them?"

She blinked, taken aback by the question. Then, a warm smile spread across her lips. "Of course. Yayoi, they are your brother and sisters. We are family. No matter what happens, I will always love and support them. And I know your father would feel the same."

I nodded, tears beginning to blur my vision. "I see."

She gave me a quick hug. "If you ever need to talk, just let me know, okay?" She giggled. "Now that I think about it, I do think I met your tutor the other day. He was the boy who stayed the night here, right? He was quite the cutie."

I groaned, hiding my face in my hands. "Mom, please..."

She laughed, patting my back. "Okay, okay. I'll stop. But seriously, Yayoi. Don't worry too much about things, okay? Everything will work out in the end. Just keep moving forward."

I nodded, sniffling slightly. "I will, Mom. Thank you."

She gave me another quick hug, then stood up.

I sighed and laid my head down. My mind thought of Kai. I found myself imagined him in weird positions like the models in the magazines. He had his butt out, his face blushing and covered by his hands as I thrust into him.

I found myself rubbing my cock. This was wrong. He was Rena's brother. Not only that, but he was a guy. Yet, I couldn't help it. He was so cute.

"Damnit, damnit," I mumbled as I stroked myself, imagining Kai's slender, boyish body under mine. His moans as I began to fill his insides.

I had to stop. What would Kai think if he found out? Would he be disgusted? Hate me?

Yet, my cock didn't seem to care as I stroked myself faster and faster. The pressure was building, and I couldn't stop it. I exploded.

"Fuck!" I whispered as I jizzed all over the place.

I stared at the ceiling, my chest heaving. The guilt washed over me. I was such a pervert. How could I get this hard over a guy?